by Donna | Mar 15, 2011
Since the language arts curriculum that we write is based on character qualities, we have a handy little Character Quality and Overview “Chart” to help parents teach character in their homes.
This “chart” goes character-trait-by-character-trait (twenty-four in all) with some handy information for implementing character training in Christian homes–regardless of whether you homeschool or not and regardless of whether you use our language arts curriculum or not.
Here are some cool things these character quality overview charts have:
1. Character Quality listed at the top of each chart
2. Key verse that goes with that quality
3. Sermon on the Mount Scripture focus that points to that quality
4. Related character qualities–those that are similar and those that are opposite
5. “Detailed Areas of Study in This Unit”–this details some of the stories, characters, science and nature areas, historical figures, missionaries, Bible people, etc. that our language arts curriculum focuses on in that monthly unit–but for those wanting to use this as a character quality study/overview, it lists songs, books, topics, etc. that you might do during your study of that character quality (especially biographies, Bible characters and stories, books to read, etc.)
6. Bible passages–these are listed in the margin and are passages of Scripture that you may read together as a family, etc. for devotions
7. Bible characters-this is a list of Bible characters that did or did not exhibit that quality
8. Materials Available Through Training for Triumph–these are books and additional materials that we carry about that character quality
This is a great resource for gathering items to study character! Homeschoolers can print off eight of these for the eight qualities that they would like to focus on during the eight months of the school year, take this to conventions with you–and get read alouds, etc. to go with your character studies.
Non-homeschoolers can have verses and Bible characters at a glance to read from for quick devotions, etc.
When you go to the link below, be sure to scroll down a few pages to the first of the twenty-four qualities.
https://www.tfths.com/docs/ch18cq&ca&os.pdf
by Donna | Mar 9, 2011
I have talked about our “Deuteronomy verse” that first told Ray and I that we should teach our kids God’s ways all the time—in all situations. And we blissfully encouraged ourselves with that verse for many, many years in our parenting. Then, for some odd reason, we read the earlier part of the verse—and it hit us between the eyes:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” Deuteronomy 6:5-7 NJKV.
This, coupled with a couple of other verses that I will share in the next few days, practically shouted to us—“Get it together! You can’t give your kids what you do not have!”
This verse showed us that we should love God with everything—then have his commandments (and his ways, his teachings) in our hearts/lives. And THEN teach them to our kids.
No, we did not become perfect. I still mess up! Ray does too (though not as often as I!). But we made it our primary goal to become what we want our kids to be eventually—and God blessed our efforts, imperfections and all.
The kids know that in my heart of hearts (and Ray’s as well) we truly want to live God’s word and God’s ways. They know that we strive to live what we teach. They know we are not perfect—but they trust our motives, intentions, and efforts. And that trust can only be gained from our children as they see us trying to do what we are asking of them.
by Donna | Mar 8, 2011
Continued from last post…
3. Decide ahead of time what your “behavior absolutes” are.
a. These are the behaviors or character that you absolutely will not allow in your home. What you allow now will become the “acceptable behaviors” to your child. These seemingly innocent actions include “fibbing,” hitting, running the other way when called, etc.
b. For us, these “behavior absolutes” included talking back (no toddler saying “no” without being punished); lying or deceit; temper tantrums; and striking (hitting, pulling hair, throwing things at someone, etc.). Obviously, we wanted our kids to learn to obey and submit to us and to learn the many character qualities that are crucial to living a Christian life, but these four things were things we never wavered on—and things that we made huge deals out of when they were not adhered to by the toddler/preschooler.
4. Start showing your little one the joy of doing what is right. Contentment in your own life, the blessing of work, the joy of loving God and His people—and all of the character that you want your little one to adopt in his life—love, longsuffering, diligence, responsibility, and more will more likely be realized in our kids’ lives when we ourselves embrace and model them.
5. Try to establish routines that will aid in his character development—bedtimes, rising times, little “chores” (putting his books in his book basket after you read), nap times, meal times, story time, etc.
For more tips on toddlers and babies, click on the links provided below:
Who makes the decisions for the children—starts here and goes for a few days: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/10/day-260-who-makes-decisions-for.html
Say what you mean—starts here and goes for two days: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-248-dont-leave-your-little-one-at.html
Storytime: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/07/day-204-story-time.html
by Donna | Mar 3, 2011
Question: How can I start some of the character training concepts and habits that you describe with a toddler?
Answer: If you are just starting out with your family and have only a toddler, you have the perfect opportunity to start out right in the character training of your children! I will offer some general tips below, but even more importantly than the “daily ins and outs” of the ideas I recommend, I suggest that you read Parenting Paradigms at this blog. Even if you take to heart some of the ideas for your little one given in this Q and A, in the end, you will be more successful at character training if you have a firm handle on what you believe about parenting and children.
Toddler Character Training Tips:
1. Start adapting the toddler to your schedule and your family’s lifestyle as soon as you can (six to nine months) rather than making your family’s life revolve around the little one’s “wants.” You want to enjoy your toddler within the dynamics that your family already has (with the addition of the joy and wonder that a toddler brings into the family, of course)—as opposed to making everything change to meet unnecessary and often damaging demands that a toddler who is given his own way all the time can often make.
2. Remember that you are setting the stage right now for your child’s “tastes” (follow us on PP 365 or schedule our seminar for more details about this important concept).
a. You can set his tastes for defiance (allowing screaming, throwing, thrashing, and “no” from him) or submission.
b. You can set his tastes for selfishness and meanness (allowing hitting or other forms of striking, giving in to him when he wants something that someone else has, always making his surroundings whatever he wants (i.e. no bedtime, no sitting in high chair, etc.) due to “fits” or for kindness, gentleness, sweetness, and tenderness.
c. You can set his tastes for hyper-stimulation and activity (too much running; no scheduled down times; television and videos all the time) or for simple things (books, healthy toys, rest, etc.).
d. You can set his tastes to lack focus and not enjoy learning (again, too much video, not starting out with books and simple music; an avalanche of cartoons and children’s programming (some of which are developed in two second bits to keep up with short attention spans, thus, causing kids’ attention spans not to lengthen as they should) or a love for learning (via books, strong family learning and discussion times, etc.).
Tomorrow—deciding “behavior absolutes” for your toddler and establishing routines.
by Donna | Mar 3, 2011
Yesterday I described how we took our boys to the “Shoeless” Joe Jackson museum and how many teaching opportunities arise when we are looking for them everyday. Today I will describe some of the discussions that followed our museum visit to show how we can carry out the Deuteronomy verse about teaching our kids all the time!
“You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up…”
To get your mind churning about the many ways we can start powerful, life-affecting discussions with our children as we “walk by the way” on vacation, field trips, at the park, in the zoo, and within our homes, I want to give you a short list of some of the talks we had as a result of our hour long visit to the infamous baseball player’s home place. (See yesterday’s post to learn more about our visit there.)
Read through this list and jot down some notes for your family—what things have you watched, read, seen, or experienced that could lead to true spiritual, mental, moral, and ethics teaching in your children’s lives?
*Could a person who broke sports records in a certain game actually be involved in “throwing” that game? Is Jackson’s record breaking that day proof that he was not involved in the cheating? (Jackson made baseball history with his remarkable performance on the day that he supposedly cheated.)
*Does poor leadership and unfair treatment by an authority give us an excuse to take things into our own hands or even “cheat” to get what is due us? (It was purported that the “throwing” was initiated because of the owner, Cominsky’s, mistreatment of his players.)
*What does a hasty response lead to? (It was thought that perhaps Joe Jackson agreed to the cheating on a whim or as a joke but then didn’t really want to or plan to.)
*Does trying to return stolen goods or “dirty money” make everything all right? (It was said that once he did get the money, he went to Cominsky/coaches to give it back as proof that he didn’t want to partake in the activity.)
*What role did illiteracy play in all of Jackson’s troubles? How important is literacy at a basic level and critical thinking at higher levels in not getting involved in things unknowingly? (Again, another reasoning for Jackson’s trouble was his inability to read/write and his signing of documents that led him into more trouble.)
*How did getting involved with evil companions lead to “Shoeless’” downfall? What does the Bible say about negative companions and peers? (It was suggested that Joe Jackson got involved with gangster type of teammates, which led to his demise.)
