by Donna | Mar 20, 2010
“I got up early this morning—Mom said she barely had her eyes open—and got sent back to bed with books FOR HOURS!” from “Jonathan’s Journal”
One of the most important concepts about scheduling a preschooler’s day is that the parents are the ones who should schedule it—not the preschooler. In our “feel good; let children be” society today, we often put too much emphasis on what the child wants to do or thinks he needs to do—and not enough on the fact that parents are wiser and more discerning than the child—and probably know his needs better than he does. This is not to say that we did not consider our preschoolers likes/dislikes/wishes as appropriate, but we did realize very early in our parenting that our children are given to us because they need someone older, wiser, and more experienced to guide them through the early part of their lives. We would all do well to remember this the next time we find ourselves trying to reason with/beg/cajole a child to put on his coat to leave the store. We ARE the parents—for a good reason.
In the opening line of “Jonathan’s Journal,” we find our sweet, sweet Jonathan going back to bed with books for HOURS! We had a family rule that children did not (a) choose when they would go to bed or (b) choose when they would get out of bed. Obviously, a child is not mature enough to decide how much sleep he needs or when he needs it; likewise, a child in our home never decided to get out of bed at five a.m. and do as he pleased.
There are dangers in a preschooler/toddler running around the house unsupervised. Additionally, we always based the children’s rising (i.e. when they could get out of bed) on our family’s needs. As much as we adored our preschoolers, we always taught our children to consider other people’s needs too. Mom often had babies and toddlers to tend to. Dad was often up in the morning with older children, teaching and discipling them. Thus, our preschoolers (and toddlers) stayed in their beds until they were told to get up. As in the story above, when the child was awake earlier, he could look at books in his bed, or more often than not, listen to talking books and story tapes, as he waited for time to get up.
There are key times that you will notice in Jonathan’s day as we progress through this series. These include the following:
a. Rising time
b. Meal times
c. Play times
d. Structured times (i.e. story time, read aloud, specific play times, time with siblings, time with parents, etc.)
e. Unstructured times (free play, outdoor time, etc.)
f. Bed time
You might wonder if it is really necessary to structure a preschooler’s day as much as we did Jonathan’s (and his siblings). The answer to that is yes and no. Obviously, we had six other children of various ages to consider. In our case, the structure of Jonathan’s day was simply a carry over of the structure of all of our days. Everybody had structured days, to a certain extent. (We homeschool, but we do not have an eight to nine math; nine to ten reading, etc. necessarily; however, we do have blocks of time that are devoted to independent work, working with Mom, chores, etc.)
If your preschooler is the oldest one in the family, that much structure might not be necessary. However, children thrive on consistency and predictability. Thus, I recommend as much structuring as you are comfortable with and that works for your family.
Tomorrow we will look at maintaining a schedule in our hurried world and a preschooler’s obedience and contentment. We have a jam-packed two weeks planned—so tune in often.
by Donna | Mar 19, 2010
Over the next two weeks, I will be giving insights into parenting preschoolers (and some toddler info too). Hope you will join us. Today I am posting my unpublished children’s book, Jonathan’s Journal, in its entirety. I will use portions of this each day in my blog about preschoolers and toddlers. Thanks for joining us!
I got up early this morning—Mom said she barely had her eyes open—and I got sent back to bed with books FOR HOURS!
Mom said she set the timer for half an hour, but I think she made a mistake. Finally, I got to get up, and I made my bed.
When Mama came in to check on me, she picked me up, and we swirled and swirled ‘coz she was so happy that I remembered to make my bed without being told.
I woke my little brother up GENTLY, and we wrestled a little before Mom came and took us into her bed to snuggle. Mommy and Daddy’s bed is so warm it must have some kind of special heater in it. Mommy says it’s warm because they’re so in love. Does love really make things warm?
Mommy read us our “Little Eyes Bible,” and I knew all of the answers when she asked the questions at the end. I let Josiah answer the really easy ones, so he would be happy. Mother read us our blessings, then held us close and sang Josiah’s favorite song that Mommy made up: “Precious Baby.” Josiah said that song is Jakie’s now, but Mama said it is still ours, too.
Next we had to get dressed and groomed. I had to brush my teeth three times before I got them good. I threw a TEENY fit because I wanted to wear my new blue shirt that’s for going places, and today is a stay at home day, so Mommy wanted me to wear play clothes. My little fit didn’t do any good—I wore the play clothes.
My big sister made yolky eggs for breakfast. I had to butter the toast—which is the worst job ‘coz it takes FOREVER. It’s worth it when I push a corner of the toast into the yolk, and the yellow puddle oozes out. I love yolky eggs.
Mommy read out loud from a chapter book while we ate. I’m starting to kind of like chapter books, even though they don’t have any pictures; I can make the pictures in my head now.
During breakfast clean-up, we listened to a story tape, which I LOVE. After breakfast, Mommy, Josiah, Kara, and I read some animal stories since that is what Kara is studying in our homeschool. I love animal stories and begged Mommy to read another one, but she didn’t have time because my big brother needed her help on his math. She said maybe we would read an extra one tomorrow—I’ll be sure to remind her.
I had to help with Baby Jacob. He can be so grouchy sometimes! Luckily, Mommy let me give him Cheerios to quiet him down, so I got some too.
Soon it was time for Jakie to play in his play pen, so Josiah and I got to play together. Next thing I knew, we were in trouble! Mommy came into the room and said that it looked like a tornado went through. We did it again! We got too many things out at one time. We had stuff all over the living room: Legos, cars and trucks, Duplo people, books, and stuffed animals. It took us FOREVER to clean it up—even with Kara’s help. Josiah and I had to each do an extra fifteen minute chore with Mommy because we forgot the rule about getting out too many things at one time, even though Mom said that she has reminded us every day for the last month.
Before I knew it, it was time to set the table for lunch. Josiah and I raced to see who could get done with our jobs first. I slowed down at the end so Josiah could catch up—then I let him win! Mommy took me into her room alone and gave me a million hugs. She said she was so happy that I was learning to see how others feel—and that I make Josiah feel important. I think she’ll probably tell Daddy, and he’ll say, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!” I love it when he says that—he always has a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes when he does.
During lunch Mother read the older kids’ history book out loud. I kind of like it too. It’s about the Pilgrims who rode on the Mayflower. I like the Indians. She read more of it while we cleaned up lunch.
Right after lunch Josiah, Kara, and I picked out our stories for story time. We snuggled on the couch with Mommy and read them. I was so happy ‘coz it was my day, and I got to pick two stories today. I picked Curious George and a book about astronauts. Story time is my favorite time of the day.
After story time, Josiah had to take his nap, and I set the timer for half an hour and played on the computer. My big brother let me play his World War II game. It’s really fun.
Josiah slept FOREVER today, so I got bored. It stopped raining after lunch, so Mommy said I should go outside and jump on the trampoline—I think I was getting on her nerves. My three big sisters got done with their school work and came out and jumped. We played “California Earthquake” until Mommy finished her writing on the computer.
When Josiah finally woke up, Mommy, Josiah, and I played puzzles on the floor. We did our huge ABC floor puzzle. It’s really neat. We left it out for Daddy to see.
The next thing I knew it was time for evening chores. I didn’t even get to play army men yet! Josiah and I had to unload the dishwasher and set the table. Kayla and Cami are making bbq chicken tonight. Yum!
Daddy called and said that he is not going to be home for another half an hour, so my brother helped me set up army men. We worked and worked, making the forts and setting up all the cannons and everything. We got done setting up just in time to eat dinner. Mommy said we could leave it out for later.
During dinner Joshua and Kayla told some jokes from their joke books, and Mommy and Daddy talked about all of the yard work we have to do on Saturday. I don’t know why adults like to work so much! After dinner, Daddy read to us from the Bible and we sang. I chose “Father Abraham,” which is my favorite song ‘coz I like the motions. We cleaned the kitchen quickly so Daddy, Joshua, Josiah, and I could play army men.
After we played army men, it was almost time for bed. Mommy gave us a five minute warning—which meant we only had five more minutes of fun before we had to clean up our toys. I wanted to leave it set up for tomorrow, but Mommy said tomorrow is “grocery and doctor day,” so we will be gone in the morning. She even said I could wear my new blue shirt! I can’t wait.
We got ready for bed and Daddy, Kara, Josiah, and I did our “Picture Bible.” Daddy always stops at the most exciting parts!
After he hugged and kissed Kara and Josiah good-night, Dad asked me to sit on his lap for a minute. He held me close, smiled real big, got watery eyes, and then said, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!”
by Donna | Mar 18, 2010
“Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.” — Marcelene Cox
It’s preschool time! My favorite ages of children have always been ages four to six, ever since our semi-strong-willed second born went from a difficult three year old to an absolutely-blissful-four-year-old. (That did not magically happen, as you will learn when we dig into toddlers later this year. It took hard work, perseverance, and consistency that were all literally, “super human”!)
Over the next two weeks, we will be sharing boatloads of tips and strategies for parenting preschoolers—from scheduling their day, to love and affirmation, to bringing in the boundaries when things get out of control, and much more.
And we will do all of this using our yet-unpublished-children’s book, Jonathan’s Journal. Jonathan’s Journal is a look at the life of a day of one of our preschoolers, specifically, our sweet, sweet Jonathan, who is now a sweet, sweet seventeen year old. Someday if we get an illustrator and our little publishing company can afford it, we will publish our first children’s picture book—and add pictures and life to my special story.
In the meantime, we will use it as a teaching tool here and in our workshops. The book goes through Jonathan’s day, from his perspective. It gives details about his life on that day—from getting out of bed to doing his chores—to helping with little brother. And as we follow Jonathan through his days, we will have dozens of “mini-lessons” about parenting preschoolers.
We will post the story in its entirety tomorrow, but I want to leave you with the story of when I first shared Jonathan’s Journal in a workshop at the Ohio state homeschool convention several years ago. Just like I am doing on this blog, I first read the entire book aloud. Then, as I will here over the next couple of weeks, I went through it step-by-step, teaching from it. I had prepared thoroughly and was excited about the prospect of using a preschooler’s journal to teach parenting. It seemed the ideal combination—a real “day in the life of” followed by teaching about each aspect. I was not, however, prepared for the emotional onslaught of reading the book aloud.
I began reading it, and within ninety seconds, I began tearing up. A minute later, I was pausing, trying to regain my composure. Mid-way through, I lost it completely and absolutely could not continue. I just stood up there in front of two hundred people and bawled and bawled. Someone brought me some tissues, and in a few minutes, I began reading again, sniffling my way through. By the end of the book, I was in complete meltdown, and I again stopped for two or three minutes, sobbing.
More tissues were brought to me—and as I looked out on the crowd, many of the two hundred parents in the audience were crying as well! (That helped, actually, as it was a pretty comical sight to see this room full of people with Kleenexes, dabbing their eyes and trying to hold back the tears, most unsuccessfully.)
I regained my composure and began the teaching—and it was an awesome time of learning and sharing. I got more positive feedback from that workshop than most any other I have done—in spite of my weeping.
Something just hit me as I read about the special days that Jonathan and I used to share—that my little guy was ten—and would never be a preschooler again! He was one of the sweetest little boys I have ever met, honestly. And I loved sharing my days with him.
The moral of today’s story: cherish every moment. I know you hear that over and over again—that they will be grown up too soon, etc. etc. And I didn’t believe it twenty years ago either—but now I do. And part of my job as an older, I mean, experienced, mom is to tell you the truth: kids grow up too fast. Enjoy every day with your preschoolers.
by Donna | Feb 25, 2010
“So please, oh, please, we beg, we pray.
Go throw your TV set away.
And in its place, you can install,
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.”
Roald Dahl, author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Okay, true confession time. We have eighteen bookcases in our house and small schoolroom (in the garage) . We have well over a thousand books, though prior to ten years ago, when we sold half of everything we owned and moved to a small house, we had over two thousand books! (And yes, it is crowded with eighteen bookcases in fourteen hundred square feet, though some of those are small, stacked cubes.)
We have an extremely modest home and what many would call clunker vehicles—but we are rich with books. Our sixteen year old son just informed me that he is down to one pair of jeans that he washes and re-wears five days a week—yet we just bought him a fifteen hundred page book for literature and twenty new books for Christmas! Books are important to the Reishes!
Another true confession: when our older children were little, I read aloud to them three to six hours a day six days a week! (Ray and I combined did, actually.) My undergraduate degree was in elementary education and my master’s work was in Reading Education. I felt, and still do, that reading aloud to my children would do more for their spiritual and academic development than anything else I could do.
Research and book after book confirms what I believed about reading aloud to young children. “Research and practice show that one simple activity—reading aloud—is the best way to prepare children for learning to read and to keep them reading as they learn. Reading aloud helps your children develop the language skills that they will use in school and throughout their lives” (Reading Is Fundamental).
Obviously, people can give their children a good start without having a stay-at-home parent reading aloud to them for hours every day. And even parents who work full time can carve out the time to read to their children—if it is a priority. (Trust me, I have worked at least thirty hours a week for the past five years at home as a writer, editor, speaker, and cottage class teacher/tutor—and still made reading aloud a priority in our home. Other things had to fall by the way in order to make that happen—but again, that goes back to prioritizing and deciding that reading aloud is more important, than, say, a spotless house.)
As parents, we have to decide what we absolutely think are the most important things to us in our parenting and our family—and then we must commit to carrying those things out, even to the point of excluding other, less important things.
Reading aloud is one of those things worth doing. It is worth it for more reasons than this short post today. However, consider the following three advantages for now:
1. Heart tying between parent and child—My children and I have been drawn together through books and audios more than any other thing. When we’re all together except one child and that one shows up, I pipe up with “I knew there was another one” in reference to the missing mouse in Mouse House. I say one of the kids’ names over and over again then quote Adventures in Odyssey: “Josie, Josie, Josie. You are Josie, aren’t you?” If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, Curious George, Morris the Moose—all of these warm our hearts as we recollect them and the afternoons spent in Mommy’s bed sharing picture books.
2. Teaching spiritual concepts—our daily read aloud now with teens and tweens includes spiritual and character teaching from a variety of sources. Reading aloud then discussing the information helps my children grow in their faith and virtue. When my kids were all little, Bible stories and character stories filled their days through my reading aloud and providing audios of the same.
3. Building a love for learning and a love for reading—the single most influential factor in a child’s success in school is his or her love for learning. Love for learning begins in Mama’s chair during afternoon story time and Mother’s bed for early morning snuggles and books.
I am planning to review some books for read aloud for various ages—starting this weekend, so I wanted to introduce the idea of reading aloud—and reinforce its importance now. Throughout the year I will tackle various areas of reading aloud, such as:
1. Reading aloud to various ages
2. Fitting in read aloud time
3. Reading aloud with tweens and teens
4. The effect of reading aloud on “natural readers” and other reading progression in children
5. Using audio books as a family for “read aloud”
6. Bible and character read alouds
7. Reading aloud to build your child’s background of experience and listening comprehension (and the relationship of that to your child’s school success)
8. And much more!
So stay with us as we continue to learn how to parent our children positively—and give them a love for God, a conviction to help others, a curiosity and love for learning and growth, and godly character. We can do this Christian parenting thing—and we can even do it well with the right tools and the right priorities.
by Donna | Feb 20, 2010
“The NestFamily video series passed the toughest test in our house—the test of our kids! My three daughters love it. We love to watch a tape as a family just before bedtime. The NestFamily videos are a great tool for family devotionals.” Max Lucado
When our little boys were really little, we hit upon the best animated video Bible and character series that we have ever used (and I have gotten many, many different ones through the years at the library, homeschool fairs, and other places). This series, called NEST videos, is actually a fifteen year old company that does many outstanding products. The two I would like to specifically bring to your attention today, the ones we have used extensively, are the Bible videos and character “cartoon” videos.
The Bible video series is their core program. It contains fifty-six interactive Bible stories including twelve from the Old Testament; twenty-four from the life of Christ; and the remainder of Paul and his missionary journeys. They are animated, colorful, and beautiful.
This series is captivating, so professionally done, and award winning. It has received awards and recognition from the Emmy’ Awards, Parenting Magazine, The Parents’ Choice Foundation, National Educational Media Network, Film Advisory Board, Director’s Choice Award from Early Childhood News, KIDS FIRST, Practical Homeschooling, and the DOVE awards, to name a few.
The second product line, which I whole-heartedly recommend, is the Hero Classics. This set consists of twenty inspiring, educational stories of heroic men and women, with the emphasis on their accomplishments in world history and social sciences. This series helps teach positive character traits, such as honesty, courage, leadership, patriotism, self-control, compassion, and more.
This Animated Hero Classic Series contains twenty historically accurate DVD’s and has also won countless awards. According to Video Librarian Magazine, “This wonderful animated series brings to video not just historical heroes but rol models we need to keep alive in our memories.”
The downside of NEST products? They are pricey. While you can easily run out and get the latest-lack-of-character-building DVD at Wal-mart for five bucks and have two hours of crude, profane viewing, each short (thirty minute) NEST dvd costs about $25 if purchased in a set of twelve or more. We were able to get in on them when they first came out (on VHS) and got some truly exceptional deals on them. However, to purchase the DVD’s, one would either need to save for a while—or take advantage of NEST’s flex payment plan in which you receive the DVD’s now but pay each month (with no interest) via your debit card.
I think the NEST videos are an investment worth making for families who have children ages two to ten. They are ideal family devotion materials, Sunday school supplements, homeschool curricula, or “daily video after naps” items. They are such high quality products that you do not feel like you are watching the latest generic cartoon. Check out their link below—and consider getting them for your kids or grandkids.
Note: The last time I spoke with a representative for NEST, the gentleman told me that if you have the old VHS program, you can get a special rate for the replacement DVD’s. We have been considering taking advantage of this offer and stocking our shelves with the DVD’s for future grandkids. (Plus, Jakie keeps asking if we can get the new DVD’s of these for him before he’s too old!)
LINK: https://www.nestfamily.com/
by Donna | Feb 12, 2010
“The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four – of secondary importance is to prepare for being five.” Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook
Preschoolers are incredible! I have always said (since my second-born, semi-strong-willed toddler turned four!) that four to six is my favorite age of kids. Of course, that is relative, as, for the most part, my favorite age was the age that each of my children was at that moment!
Preschoolers and praise go hand in hand. More than at any other age, preschoolers who are praised respond favorably, often altering their behavior as a result of praise. For example, several studies have shown that when preschooler are praised for exhibiting good manners, they develop better social skills.
Without going into great detail about research on preschoolers and praise, I will tell you something that anybody with a preschooler already knows: preschoolers usually respond enthusiastically to praise! For the most part, preschoolers are pleasers. If we praise our preschooler for a behavior he exhibits, and he senses that we are pleased with him for that behavior, he will likely repeat it.
Now, some might see this as manipulation, but I have always believed that four to six years of age is such a crucially-formative time for children, why not praise good behavior and positive character and give these little dollies opportunities to continue in those behaviors and receive more positive feedback—in the hopes of those actions becoming permanent? After all, aren’t our children given to us to raise and “train up in the way they should go”?
Preschoolers are often literal. If we give them reason to think they are “bad,” they will believe it—and often continue to act on it. If we give them reason to think they are “good,” they will believe it—and often continue to act on it. This, of course, is a good reason to be sure that we direct our praise to their behaviors and actions—and not to the child himself. Our praise should motivate a child’s behavior, not cause him to think of himself in terms of being a “bad kid” if he gets mostly reprimands or a “good kid” if he gets mostly praise.
It is important in praising our children (or our students, for those of you who are teachers) that we consider the age of the child. Since preschoolers are so literal and, well, a little naïve, they will more likely accept general or more “gushy” praise. If we tell a four year old that she did an awesome job cleaning her room, she will likely be moved by that. If we tell an eight year old the same thing, she may or may not be moved by that, but would likely respond more favorably to “I love the way you organized your bookcase. Thanks for taking the initiative to do that” than “awesome job.”
The preschool age is truly the time to use the tool of praise to teach, to tie heartstrings, to build our children up, and to instruct in appropriate and positive behaviors. After all, what else do four year olds have to do except to be four–and prepare for being five?
