by Donna | Jun 2, 2010
“Josiah slept FOREVER today, so I got bored. It stopped raining after lunch, so Mommy said I should go outside and jump on the trampoline—I think I was getting on her nerves. My three big sisters got done with their school work and came out and jumped. We played ‘California Earthquake’ until Mommy finished her writing on the computer.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
Jonathan was in the process of learning deference and patience while Mommy was busy! We stressed character training with our children from their births. Part of that character training was that of learning deference. Deference is a big word that simply means “prefer” or “defer” to someone else. It is a character quality that we desperately need in our world! In our me-saturated society, we seldom defer to others—that is, put others above ourselves.
One way that our little ones can learn deference is to defer and be patient when their wants cannot be addressed right at that moment. (Notice I said “wants”—not “needs.”) Jonathan was sent outside to jump on the trampoline with his sisters so that Mommy could get something done. (As he put it, “I think I was getting on her nerves!” He’s always been a smart one!)
When our third child Cami was six years old and outgrew her nap, she would follow me around when I was trying to have lunch, read, plan, etc., asking me questions, wanting this or that, etc. I had been used to her taking a nap and having a little free time, but not anymore! (Keep in mind I had already given her and her siblings at least six hours straight of my time—reading, playing, doing school, learning together, overseeing chores, etc.) Finally, I had to set the timer every afternoon for thirty minutes and tell her that during that thirty minutes she couldn’t bother Mama. She watched the timer go down every afternoon at first, waiting until she could use all of the words she had stored up in that half hour, but eventually, she learned to let Mommy have a little break. (We all still tease her about being so high need we had to set a timer for a thirty-minute-no-need period of time, and it is probably part of the reason why the “little” boys have dubbed her “Needy Child Number One” when she calls—the other older kids are Numbers Two, Three, and Four, of course!)
Preschoolers and toddlers do have a lot of needs. That is one of the reasons that we stress the Preventive Parenting ideas that we do—naps, schedules, room time, activities, story time etc. all help channel these littles ones into a daily routine that is good for them and Mom. However, they also must learn the difference between wants and needs—and that sometimes wants must wait for a little while.
by Donna | Jun 1, 2010
“Josiah slept FOREVER today, so I got bored. It stopped raining after lunch, so Mommy said I should go outside and jump on the trampoline—I think I was getting on her nerves. My three big sisters got done with their school work and came out and jumped. We played ‘California Earthquake’ until Mommy finished her writing on the computer.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
Today’s excerpt brings up a reality that we all must face as parents of preschoolers: sometimes taking care of toddlers and preschoolers by yourself all day long can be tiresome, and even annoying. It feels as though there is rarely a break. Somebody always needs something. Getting other things done can seem impossible at times. And people tend to think that you don’t have much to do. After all, you are just home with a couple of little kids!
Twenty years ago I read an anti-feminist book in which the author said that we should not want to farm our kids out all the time. That we should take care of them ourselves. That we should not need time for ourselves or breaks from our children. Well, I was suspicious from the beginning. First of all, I was an extremely attentive mother of four small children—and frankly, I wished for breaks that I seldom seemed to get. Secondly, this woman obviously had many breaks. She had written two best-selling books and was working on a third—while she was having babies and caring for toddlers and preschoolers. I don’t know about you, but I have trouble taking advice from someone telling me to stay home and take care of my own kids while, clearly, she could not have been doing the same all the time.
I feel that these sentiments are dangerous to young moms. They make tired, exasperated mothers feel like they are bad or wrong in thinking that an afternoon of free time would be a good thing. They paint an unrealistic picture of child care and set moms up for failure.
At the same time, I think there is equal (if not more) danger in the opposite extreme we see today: women who simply do not want to do the hard work of raising and training their toddlers and preschoolers. I am not referring here to women who need to work to make ends meet (and certainly not to single mothers). I am pointing to women who take the concept of needing a break sometimes to every other day needing Grandma to take the kids or a babysitter to babysit or ripping and running every day instead of staying home and training these little ones in a consistent, peaceful environment.
Advice? Do the hard work now that it takes to raise toddlers and preschoolers in the way God is leading you. Don’t delay. Don’t shirk your responsibilities. Know that some day it will all pay off. And if you need a break, take it—guilt free.
I never felt the slightest tinge of guilt having a babysitter one afternoon a week for the toddler and baby, so I could take the older children to the park and the library (or McDonald’s play place in the winter). It broke up my week. I had some time off to look forward to. I got some uninterrupted time with my olders. I had a few hours every week in which needs were not so intense. Likewise, I never felt guilty for my date nights with my husband (though early on they were few and far between due to finances and moving to a new area in which we did not know anybody for a while). I was doing the hard work of raising children…doin’ the stuff day in and day out. And the fact that I needed some time off occasionally did not make me a bad mother.
by Donna | May 30, 2010
“After story time, Josiah had to take his nap, and I set the timer for half an hour and played on the computer. My big brother let me play his World War II game. It’s really fun.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
Nap tips for preschoolers and toddlers continued from yesterday….
6. Surround the naptime with routine. I always had a noontime schedule that went something like this with my littles: lunch, lunch clean up (older kids did this while I nursed baby or did toddler’s short story time—see earlier posts about story time), storytime for one to two hours, then naps for two hours. My toddlers always took three hour naps and played in crib for another hour or so. My preschoolers always read with me for an hour or two then slept for two hours. Then they asked if they could get up. If, for some reason they awoke early and the other kids and I were in the middle of a project or needed for the little one to rest a little while longer, the little one lay in bed and looked at books or did a quiet activity. This routine went on for years and years, literally! Everybody knew what to expect.
7. Use talking books or radio dramas (like Your Story Hour or Adventures in Odyssey) if your kids need something to listen to while they drift off to sleep. (For toddlers, I often used Christian lullabyes, Steve Green’s Hide ‘Em in Your Hearts, or Scripture tapes.) As my preschoolers got older and could operate the tape player by themselves, they could put tapes in if they woke up too early from naps or in the mornings.
8. You determine when a child outgrows his nap. For me, when the child could not fall asleep at night at his normal bedtime or would lie in bed all afternoon without falling asleep, I knew naptime was coming to a close for that preschooler. This usually happened around age six or so in our home. However, usually until age seven or eight, at least, everybody had a quiet time after story time. This meant that for an hour everybody would lie down and look at books, listen to tapes, etc. When I had five children nine and under (and all of them were at home with me all the time), I needed to know that out of the thirteen hours or so everyday that Ray was at work, I had an hour in which nobody needed anything. I always looked forward to that hour and would eat my lunch, plan my lessons, read parenting/homeschooling books, etc.
It sounds trite and even a little regimented in writing, but it simply wasn’t so. It was almost glorious, actually. Having content, cooperative, sweet preschoolers was the added benefit of keeping my little ones on good schedules, including necessary naps.
You can do this! And you will be so glad you did when you (and everybody around you) enjoy having your little ones around.
by Donna | May 29, 2010
“After story time, Josiah had to take his nap, and I set the timer for half an hour and played on the computer. My big brother let me play his World War II game. It’s really fun.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
The other preschool area that this excerpt alludes to is that of nap time. We were blessed early in our child rearing years to have families a little bit older than we leading the path in baby, toddler, and preschool parenting. We learned so many things from them, including having Bible time, training little ones to obey, reading stories before naps, enforcing nap times and bed times, and much more. (Never underestimate the power you have to model/influence others through your parenting.) Little did I know, when we just had Joshua, how crucial it would be in my mothering (and my sanity!) to have well-established routines and schedules—especially that of nap times.
I will enumerate some nap time tips today and tomorrow that I have learned through my twenty-seven years of parenting:
1. Naps are for Mom just as much as they are for the little ones. Smile…
2. Children were given to parents to protect and care for them. Part of this is discerning when and what your child needs to eat, how much sleep (and when) he requires, what is safe for a child at various ages, etc. In other words, you need to be the one to determine your child’s bed time, rising time, and nap time—based on his needs and your family dynamics.
3. Naps, just like anything else you want your little ones to do, are learned behaviors. If you religiously lay all children down in the afternoon every day at 1:00 (or whenever) in the same way that you buckle them in the car, it WILL BE just like buckling them in the car. There will not be a daily struggle to put kids down for naps anymore than there is a twenty minute fight when getting in the car.
4. If you have not implemented nap schedules but allowed kids to fall asleep or not fall asleep while watching cartoons (and consequently, be grouchy later in the day because they needed sleep they did not get), it will not be easy to start daily naps. However, the long term benefits far outweigh any small inconvenience and struggle it may be to make naps a daily habit. If your children do not nap but are irritable from four until six every afternoon, it is probably because they need naps. (Come to think of it, if you are irritable every day from four to six, it is probably because you need naps too! Smile…)
Nap tips continued tomorrow….
by Donna | May 18, 2010
Welcome to Part II (out of II) of my listings for suggested books for “devotional” type of read alouds for little ones. We are specifically looking at the upper end of ages three to six today (yesterday we looked at the lower end of that age group). Some of the ones listed below, however, I still use with my eleven year old (and, in the case of Character Sketches, I still use with my seventeen and fifteen year olds!!!).
If you are not currently doing any type of devotional reading with your little ones, just pick a book or two from today or yesterday’s list—and do it! You can get these at the library, from the links below, or from your local Christian bookstore. At this age, you only need five to ten minutes a day to start instilling faith-building, potentially-life-long habits in your children—and help them start learning God’s Word and God’s ways early.
1. Story Bibles and story Bible sets
a. “The Picture Bible” by David C Cook—after the “Me Too” Bible stories, “The Early Reader’s Bible,” “The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes,” and “My Bible Friends,” we used this wonderful, comic-book-style Bible. Ray read this whole Bible aloud to each child when he or she was around age four. (Actually, Ray found this in a Christian bookstore thirty years ago just after we were born again as young adults. He got it and read it through himself as he said it helped him know “Bible talk” better when he knew very little about the Bible and many Bible stories. So we’ve had copies of this Bible for thirty years in our home!) https://www.amazon.com/Picture-Bible-Story-Book-Ed/dp/1555139906
b. Family Bible Library—I reviewed this book earlier in the year. This is a wonderful complete ten volume set of Bible stories. Read the review in full at the link below. If you have children eight and under, I highly recommend you find this set used, buy it, and use it every day. (That’s what we did! I read it to te kids when they turned four (sort of after Ray did “The Picture Bible”), then when each child became a fluent reader, between nine and eleven or so, he or she read the entire set to himself (or aloud to a little sibling). https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-fifty-nine-think-of-yourself-as.html
2. “Catechism” Type of Books—I love using the books listed below with my young children as they answer those questions that kids those ages often ask, “How can there be three in one?” “Where is heaven?” “Why did Jesus die?” “What is sin?” etc. You are never too young to start learning basic Bible doctrine!
a.”Big Truths for Little Kids: Teaching Your Kids to Live for God” by Susan Hunt: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1581341067/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0802840353&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=14KZJYBNXBQPPMWNYZ5Q
b. “My ABC Bible Verses: Hiding God’s Word in Little Hearts” by Susan Hunt and Evette Banek– https://www.amazon.com/My-ABC-Bible-Verses-Hiding/dp/1581340052/ref=pd_sim_b_4#reader_1581340052
c. “Leading Little Ones to God” by Margaret Schoolland—help your little one think rightly about God from the beginning—“catechism for preschoolers”: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802851207/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0802840353&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=14KZJYBNXBQPPMWNYZ5Q
3. Picture books by Christian authors have character, Bible, and faith messages—I love using picture books to teach many things to my children—faith and Bible, counting, alphabet, science, history/geography, relationships, character, and more. I will list a few picture books below, but most Christian bookstores have at least a small selection of picture books that teach faith, character, biblical principles, etc. Stories, of course, are outstanding teaching vehicles, as evidenced by the fact that Jesus taught so much using stories.
a. “A Hat for Ivan” by Max Lucado: https://www.christianbook.com/a-hat-for-ivan-board-book/max-lucado/9781581346565/pd/46565/1071101320?item_code=WW&netp_id=348434&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr
b. “Tale of Three Trees” by Angela Hunt https://www.christianbook.com/the-tale-of-three-trees/angela-hunt/9780745917436/pd/19014/1069491512?item_code=WW&netp_id=155456&event=ESRCN&view=details
c. “In Case You Ever Wonder”: https://www.christianbook.com/just-case-ever-wonder-board-book/max-lucado/9780849975097/pd/75093?item_code=WW&netp_id=196760&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr
d. See other Max Lucado picture books: https://www.christianbook.com/a-hat-for-ivan-board-book/max-lucado/9781581346565/pd/46565/1071101320?item_code=WW&netp_id=348434&event=ESRCN&view=details#curr
e. “My Heart, Christ’s Home Retold for Children” by Robert Boyd Munger—one of my personal favorites!!! https://www.ivpress.com/cgi-ivpress/book.pl/code=3395
4. Creation science materials—If I had $500 to spend on everything I could use to train my preschoolers in faith, I would purchase the “Family Bible Library” and many, many picture books from Answers in Genesis. Children are inundated from earliest ages with the falsehoods of “millions of years,” etc.—we must counteract that information found in movies (even some of our favorite animated ones have references to it!), music, cartoons, museums, zoos, etc. with the truth. Picture books from Answers in Genesis can help you do that: https://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/catalog/57-Years-Old,184.aspx
(Btw, if I had a little over $1,000, I would do the above, then get NEST dvd’s and Your Story Hour audios. )
We’ll move on to seven to ten year olds’ resources tomorrow! Happy shopping…and reading. Just do it!!
by Donna | May 17, 2010
Children ages two or three to six do not need long read alouds, but you will want to start early in reading aloud to your children to build a love and attention span for it.
The books and materials I am going to list today and tomorrow are those that are especially appropriate for a devotional type of situation (“morning reading” at the Reishes). You will need to experiment with your children and the various “levels” of books. Some children as early as three years old can sit for lengthy picture books while others will only want a “quick” type of read aloud time.
The books are sort of listed by age range—youngest to oldest. Thus, the first ones listed are even appropriate for two to four year olds. I am making a few notations for the items, as well as listing authors and links.
Additionally, I am grouping them according to Bible story books, sets, picture books, prayer books, etc. Most of them are available at your library—though I admit that I own all of them (after twenty-seven years of parenting!) and recommend that you invest in a few favorites so that you can use those over and over. (Yes, I drive a $450 van, but have a library worth thousands of dollars—vehicles aren’t that important to me, but books (especially faith-teaching ones) are!)
Being the owner of a small press publishing company/small vendor of materials ourselves, I like to purchase books from small companies (especially family-owned ones) whenever possible. However, they (and we!) cannot provide all of the bells and whistles that large ones, such as Amazon, can provide. The links given for many of the materials are links to larger providers because these companies can provide the “look inside” feature, which I find especially helpful in purchasing picture books since you can actually look at a few pages and check out the text size, pictures, amount of text on each page, etc. However, if you know of a small vendor who carries these books, I encourage you to purchase from them!
Also, most of these products are available from your library. Even if you are holding these (or checking these out) from your library, you can go to one of the seller’s sites and check out the guts to see if it is appropriate for your child’s level before holding it from your library.
1. Very young Bible story books and Bibles:
a. The felt books and felt playsets continue to be good for this age group; my earlier review of this: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-one-start-young-with-bible.html
b. “Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes” (my earlier review of this is here): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-two-start-young-with-bible.html
c. One of my favorites for two to three year olds—a set of five hardcover, fully illustrated: “My Bible Friends”: https://www.thebiblestory.com/mbf/index.php
d. One of the few early Bibles that are appropriate for reading aloud to your toddlers and having your new reader use as a reader to practice his decoding skills: “Beginner’s Bible”: https://www.beginnersbible.com/
e. Very young Bible story books—one story per book; hardcover: The “Me Too” books– https://www.clcbookshops.com/marilyn-lashbrook_a573.html
2. Prayers, Hymns, and Rhymes:
a. “Prayers for the Very Young Child” by Donald S. Robert (out of print, but some used ones here) https://www.abebooks.com/search/isbn/0570040515
b. “My First Hymnal”—I did this one every day for years and years with my toddlers and young preschoolers: https://www.amazon.com/o/asin/0917143353/mockerybird/ref=nosim
c. “Bible Time Nursery Rhyme”—my review is here: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-one-start-young-with-bible.html
3. Character Building Books and Stories:
a. “Child’s Book of Character Building: Growing Up in God’s World”—one of the first character teaching tools we had, and we used these for years. (Now our daughter Cami, twenty years later, uses these same books (our copies!) for her disability ministry to adults with cognitive disabilities)– by Ron and Rebekah Coriell- https://www.amazon.com/Childs-Book-Character-Building-Growing/dp/0800754948/ref=pd_sim_b_2#reader_0800754948
c. “God’s Wisdom for Little Girls” by Jim and Elizabeth George: https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Wisdom-Little-Girls-Proverbs/dp/0736904271/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b
d. “Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories” by Arthur Maxwell—okay, I have used these for twenty-seven years—and just read aloud from them with Jakie (age eleven) last week! ‘nough said! https://www.uncle-arthurs.com/
4. Creation books—many of the creation picture books are more appropriate for ages six through ten or so; however, many vendors have the “look inside” option as described above.
a. “Daddy Is There Really a God?” by John Morris https://www.christianbook.com/daddy-is-there-really-a-god/john-morris/9780890511886/pd/11888
b. “Noah’s Ark, Noah’s Flood” by John Morris https://www.answersingenesis.org/PublicStore/product/Noahs-Ark-Noahs-Flood,4378,184.aspx
More preschool “devotional” items tomorrow—including “older” Bible stories, creation products, and “catechism” type items!
b. “God’s Wisdom for Little Boys” by Jim and Elizabeth George: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0736908242/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0802840353&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=14KZJYBNXBQPPMWNYZ5Q
