by Donna | Feb 3, 2013
Dear Event Organizer,
This document has been prepared to make event organizers know of the topics that our ministry/publishing company (Character Ink) provides to homeschoolers (and in the case of our parenting seminar and marriage workshops, to Christian organizations in general). You will find us on the web under different names:
1. Character Ink (formerly Training for Triumph) –our homeschool publishing/cottage class/speaking ministry
2. Character Training From the Heart (formerly Positive Parenting)–our parenting seminar, blog, and Facebook page
3. Language Lady–Donna’s language arts, writing, grammar, spelling, vocabulary, reading, and speaking blog and Facebook page (for teachers, parents, students, and anybody who wants to learn about proper usage and more!)
You will find the following in this document:
1. Workshops for Ray, Donna, or Joshua Reish (or some combination of it)
2. Additional seminar/workshop possibilities
3. Biographical and publishing information
We are open to combining/cutting/changing however is needed to fit your convention. Please feel free to contact us about doing a “series” or combining workshops in whatever way would meet the needs of your attendees.
1. WORKSHOPS FOR REISHES
Family Living and Family Unity
Bible Buzzwords: Scriptures, Along With Infamous Reish Family Buzzwords, That Teach Children How to Live a Character-Filled Life—Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
“Reishes pick up some carpeting”; “If she thinks you did it, to her, you did it”; “Dad’s in the kitchen/Mom’s in the kitchen”; “See a need”; “Penny for your thoughts”; “You’re number three”; “How does that make her feel?” These buzzwords, along with many more, are rooted in Scripture and have come to be vital teaching tools for the Reish family. Come and learn “Bible Buzzwords” from the Reish home, along with applications of them, while seeing how teaching our kids to walk with Christ is more of a lifestyle than a lesson, more relationship than rules, and more communication than curriculum.
Family Unity – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
Ray and Donna Reish share how they have developed family unity in their family of seven children through family togetherness, family worship, family times, family work, family protection, and more. Lots of practical applications to make your children each other’s best friends – and to make them crazy about their parents!
Reaching the Heart of Your Teen – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
Ray and Donna Reish share what they have found to work in reaching and keeping the hearts of their teens. With six children ages thirteen through twenty-five right now (and one elementary boy), the Reishes have found some very specific keys to discipling and mentoring their teens and young adults.
Child Training of Younger Children – Ray and Donna; Donna alone
Laying the foundation for a successful homeschool and successful family relationships, Ray and Donna Reish teach parents how to train young children in obedience, diligence, kindness, responsibility, and much more.
Discipling and Mentoring Your Children – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
More about discipling and mentoring children—beginning with elementary age and moving into young adults. This workshop, which can be presented by Ray or Donna Reish (or the two), is for those with all ages of children, describing how to begin reaching the heart of your younger children while still maintaining discipline, then how to move into a mentoring role with your older teens and young adults.
The Well-Trained Heart – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
This very newest workshop(s) presented by Ray and Donna Reish and based on their book, The Well-Trained Heart, may be one to a dozen sessions in length! The basic, beginning session is that of “The Whys and How’s of Heart Training”—what the Bible says about heart training, general principles in heart training, the importance of heart training, the trend towards neglecting heart training in favor of academic training and activities, and much more. The remaining sessions may be any chapters from The Well-Trained Heart.
Character Training Seminar Workshops
The Five W’s of Character Training—Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
This workshop, the first in our popular “Character Training From the Heart” seminar (though may be used separately, as well), teaches parents the what, who, when, where, why (and how!) of character training in the home. Using Scripture and thirty years of parenting experience, the Reishes convince parents in this workshop that it starts with us—and is up to us—to train our children in godly parenting, how and where this takes place (it’s not as elaborate as you might think),and much more!
Parenting Paradigms—Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
How we parent begins with what we believe—what we believe about how children come into this world, whose responsibility child training is, what our role should be in it, what we believe Scripture tells us about parenting, timing and appropriate age of training, empathy in parenting, and much more. What we believe will dictate what we do every single day of our parenting lives. Find out why and how in this workshop.
Starting Out Right With Babies and Toddlers—Ray and Donna; Donna alone
Demanding toddlers become disobedient preschoolers, disobedient preschoolers become surly elementary children, surly elementary children become disrespectful teens, and disrespectful teens become entitled young adults. What we do in parenting our babies and toddlers makes a huge difference in the success of our parenting in other stages. This workshop focuses on the first four qualities that are essential for parenting babies and toddlers—contentment, cheerfulness, obedience, and submission. “I wish every young Christian parent could hear these concepts—ones that were taught to us thirty years ago and have made a huge difference in our parenting” (Donna).
Early Qualities for Preschoolers—Ray and Donna; Donna alone
This workshop takes the first four qualities needed for babies and toddlers—submission, obedience, contentment, and cheerfulness—and builds on those in the life of the four to six year old child. In this workshop, Reishes explain how to apply those in your little one’s life, while raising kids that others enjoy being around and that older siblings adore! Loving and training these ages are some of the most blessed years of parenting (along with many other years!)—and parenting children biblically with boundaries, love, fun, and biblical concepts makes all the difference in their dispositions, the family’s efficiency and joy, and family unity.
Child Training vs Heart Training—Ray and Donna; Donna alone
Something should start to happen in our character training between the ages of eight and ten. This workshop teaches how to transition from child training to heart training—and how the foundational character training plays a role in that transition. How do we get from “putting out fires” in our kids’ behavior to training their hearts for life? Ray and Donna have insights from their thirty years of parenting that can help parents move into heart training of their children effectively.
Helping Tweens Grow in Character and Virtue—Ray and Donna; Donna alone
Taking tweens and young teens from obedience and submission for the sake of avoiding punishment to genuine respect, self-control, diligence, truthfulness, responsibility, and more can be a daunting task. But it can be done! And we can enjoy those ten to fourteen year olds instead of dreading the next confrontation! This workshop focuses on how to help our children grow in character and virtue because “it’s the right thing to do”—and apply it to their lives for life!
Fathering and Marriage
Meeting the Needs of Your Wife and Children – Ray Reish
Ray Reish looks at the primary needs of a home school wife and children and explains how to meet these needs by focusing on them over less important things. Ray will explain practical ways to meet needs at various stages and ages—and how to continue to be one with your wife in a busy homeschool family. Very motivating and enlightening.
Teaching the Bible to Your Children Without Pressure – Ray Reish
Ray Reish gives home school dads the courage to dig into the Bible with their families – without a Bible degree or the pressure that they aren’t doing it right! Ray shares dozens and dozens of fun and non-pressured ways the Bible has been brought into his homeschool over the past twenty years – and how to make God’s Word and its teachings the center of your school and life.
The Successful Home Schooling Father – Ray Reish
Ray Reish shares several components that have, in the eyes of his wife and children, made him a successful home schooling father. Fathers everywhere can be successful in their home schooling efforts when they learn to die to themselves and serve their families as opposed to ruling them.
Family Worship, Family Altar, Family Devotions – Ray Reish
How Can I Do It All? Ray Reish gives dads the encouragement they need to “do the next right thing” – and not be overwhelmed by the “advice overload” that makes sharing Christ with our children more complicated and out of reach than it really is. In this workshop, Ray discusses family devotions, family read alouds, family worship, family prayer time, teaching our children about God constantly, teaching our children to love the Lord, and training children to have an others-first mindset. Dads can go home and begin immediately doing “the next right thing” – without being perfect or following an elaborate system.
Marriage by the Book – Ray and Donna; Ray alone
In this marriage workshop, Ray Reish (or Ray and Donna) describes how he has applied Scriptures about marriage, selflessness, and deference to their marriage to develop marital oneness. More than another “rule and reign” and “respect and obey” workshop, this one focuses on truly loving and giving—from both the husband and the wife. This approach to marriage makes the “ruling” and “respecting” come much more naturally!
Helps for Homeschool Moms
(Donna Reish presents these sessions, very popular and helpful ones, to home school groups every year; Ray and Donna may also do these together, if desired, for moms and dads; these sessions may be done individually as well; however, if all three are done, they should be done in the order listed here.)
Prioritizing Your Life, School, and Home – Donna Reish
The first session in this three part series “prioritizing” is a needful topic for home school moms and dads. In this life-changing and popular session, Donna Reish teaches parents how to prioritize their lives, schools, and homes—the difference between a priority and a desire, how to find God’s best for your family, how and when to say no, and more. This session is especially appropriate for fathers and mothers to attend together.
Organizing Your Life, School, and Home – Donna Reish
The next session, organizing – takes prioritizing a step further and shows how to live your priorities out by organizing your home school day, housework, school work, and more. This session also includes tips for helping children become organized, diligent workers, including information about chore charts and daily checklists.
Scheduling Your Life, School, and Home – Donna Reish
Finally, Donna Reish focuses on scheduling your school day in many scenarios – putting character first. She also teaches how to face various scheduling challenges, such as scheduling with babies; multi level scheduling; and various curriculum-focused scheduling. This session also includes tips for helping children become organized, diligent workers, including information about chore charts and daily checklists
Child Training
Child Training in the Christian Homeschool – Donna Reish
Donna Reish delivers this child training workshop in which she touches on the main aspects of child training that affect a family’s home school success in the daily ins and outs. She exposes the child-run home and explains how to counter it. Especially suited for parents of children twelve and under.
Training Children to Be Diligent Workers – Donna Reish
Donna Reish goes beyond a daily chore chart (though that is certainly a part of it) to explain the basics of raising diligent workers in the home. She has found several keys that have made her children not just “chore doers” but responsible, diligent children at early ages. (Much of this information is also included in part three of the character series.)
Babies and Toddlers – Donna Reish
Donna Reish examines two extremes of parenting babies in home school circles: child run and authoritarian (extreme parent-controlled). Donna gives a gentle balance between the two for the newborn baby—and how to keep babies and toddlers from becoming self-centered children, self-absorbed teens, and selfish adults. She explains how she and her husband gently incorporated babies and toddlers into their home school lifestyle–while still meeting the needs of the other children—without falling into the trap of either extreme.
Home Schooling Preschoolers and Kindergarteners – Donna Reish
Donna Reish continues the parent-led advice for young parents and tells them how to train preschoolers and kindergarteners in character, obedience, love of learning, diligence, and more—before beginning “academics.”
Day in the Life of a Preschooler or Kindergartener – Donna Reish
Donna Reish uses her upcoming children’s book, Jonathan’s Journal, to show parents of preschoolers and kindergarteners what boundaries, structure, attention, love, and learning look like in the day of her young son—and how homeschooling parents can duplicate this balanced approach in their families.
General Homeschooling
Thirty Years and Counting—Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
Thirty years ago this fall, Ray and Donna Reish, married for two years with a one-year-old in tow, embarked on the homeschooling journey by homeschooling Donna’s eighth grade sister. (They also began helping folks in a nearby homeschool-unfriendly state start homeschooling.) Three decades and seven children later, they are still living the homeschooling lifestyle with one senior and one eighth grader—and five successful graduates and helping homeschoolers around the world.
In this session, the Reishes share what it was like thirty years ago for homeschoolers (“walking to school uphill in five feet of snow wearing flip flops”) and what has kept them going—and strong—for all of these years. They share their “tips for success” along with motivation to “do the next right thing” and a little humor here and there.
Come and learn the importance of creating a love for learning, the foundations of child discipline in the successful homeschool, scheduling secrets, reaching the hearts of your teens, teaching all kinds of learners, keeping your marriage strong, and much more. You will laugh, cry, and jot down ideas that will make a difference in your life, relationships, school, and home.
Schooling the Preschooler and Kindergartener – Donna Reish
Donna Reish gives some surprising news about preschoolers and kindergarteners – the first skill they should be taught is obedience! She explains how to follow an order in teaching this age that focuses on the truly important things, how to enjoy these years, and more.
Multi-Level Teaching – Donna Reish
This workshop focuses on unit study approaches with many levels of children. Especially geared towards moms with children of ages birth through age fourteen, Donna Reish trains parents in scheduling, room time for younger children, the bus stop approach for adding in and deleting various ages of children at certain points of study, keeping little ones busy, older children helping younger ones, and much more.
Teaching Using Unit Studies – Donna Reish
The how’s and why’s of unit studies, as well as some of the downfalls and how to overcome those downfalls. Donna Reish, who has taught various unit studies for twenty years, describes different unit studies, such as chronological, literature-based, topic-based, and character-based. She describes how to implement the unit study approach with various ages of children, evaluating middle school students’ “unit study” work when tests and worksheets are not widely used, developing oral comprehension to aid in unit study effectiveness, the bus stop approach for teaching older children with younger children, and how to know when a child needs more independent study instead of the unit study.
So You’re Gonna Home School – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
Donna Reish (or Ray or both) encourages beginning home schoolers, giving them the information they need to begin to home school successfully – and enjoy their children at home. In this helpful session, she explains using statistics and studies why homeschooling is superior. Then she explains the top ten things new homeschoolers need to know and/or do, such as setting up a homeschooling schedule, choosing activities wisely, teaching like Jesus, keeping records, and much more.
Home Schooling Your High Schooler – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
After graduating three students from her family’s homeschool, Donna Reish (or Ray or the two) explains many aspects of home schooling high schoolers that they has found to be successful, including mentoring, training towards a student’s bent, helping young teens be successful, training teens to serve, and more. Donna will touch on transcript writing as well.
Teaching Like Jesus – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
Jesus was the Master Teacher; Donna Reish (or Ray or the two) explains how home school moms (and dads!) can teach like Jesus. In this session, the Reishes pull out various examples in Scriptures of how Jesus teaches and how the Bible says we should teach and apply them to help homeschooling parents become “master” teachers. We can’t go wrong in our homeschools when we teach and act like Jesus!
Top Twenty-Plus From Twenty-Plus! – Ray and Donna; Ray alone; Donna alone
Our Top Twenty Pieces of Advice From Twenty+ Years of Home Schooling—Our new and very popular workshop; Ray and Donna Reish (or either one alone) share the Reishes’ top twenty pieces of advice—from teaching children to read to teaching children to get along with each other—from twenty years of home school. This can be done in one hour (with tidbits of advice from all twenty areas) – or several (going into detail about many of the twenty pieces of advice) or somewhere in between (i.e a Part I and Part II workshop, etc.).
Teaching Students Critical Thinking Skills – Joshua Reish
Do you want your students to have strong critical thinking skills but wonder how to teach them? In this workshop, Joshua Reish (homeschool graduate who tested out of nearly all of his college degree) will show you how to help children from preschool to college expand their reasoning skills, think critically, discern teaching, and more.
Developing a Love for Learning Donna alone–This topic may be one session in length – or several sessions (preferred)
Donna Reish draws on her thirty years of home schooling—and developing a love for learning in her seven children—to help home school parents see how they can have children who love learning and enjoy home schooling. She includes information on the importance of beginning early in developing a love for learning (as opposed to a disdain for multiple workbooks at a young age); the influence of free time and frivolities on love for learning; the value of reading aloud; building comprehension to build enjoyment of learning; how hands on learning encourages a love for learning; modeling love for learning; creating learning memories; the fun and value of family learning times; how to develop a home school lifestyle; the effects of peers on love for learning; developing study skills; spiritual training at various times; teaching multiple children and multiple learning styles; and much more.
Language Arts Areas
Teaching Reading – Donna Reish
Donna’s master’s work is in reading specialist, but she learned how to teach reading by “doing the stuff.” Donna Reish helps build confidence in the home schooling mom to teach her children to read, including developing pre-reading skills naturally in the preschoolers, what readiness to learn to read is and what it is not; the basics of reading instruction; phonics vs. whole language; how to build comprehension skills; choosing readers; and more.
Teaching Language Arts – Donna Reish
Donna Reish shares what she has found to be the ideal order for language arts instruction in the home school, In this workshop, Donna takes language arts instruction year by year from preschool through twelfth grades—area by area (listening, comprehension, reading, grammar, speech, writing, literature, and more). She details the important connection between grammar and composition; the value of a directed writing approach; and many, many practical teaching tips for language arts based on her six years of experience of writing twenty language arts and composition books for two home school suppliers – and her twenty-two years of homeschooling (beginning with her younger sister).
Teaching Writing – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna Reish explains how to teach composition, including applying grammar to composition; the importance and how to’s of outlining; various composition types; writing meaningful reports and essays; using age-appropriate source material; various outlining techniques; teaching writing with a directed writing approach, and more, based on her six years of experience of writing over twenty language arts and composition books for two home school suppliers.
The Timed Essay/the Five Paragraph Essay (for SAT and other quick writing preparation) – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna Reish teaches parents (or teens) how to write a strong SAT or other timed essay including how to practice at home; what the graders are looking for; the importance of organization; time management techniques; building a background of knowledge; and more.
Writing the Research Paper – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna Reish teaches parents how to teach the MLA format of research papers, from research to outlining to gathering information on note cards and then on to final product. This session (including its detailed handout) takes the guesswork out of research paper writing for junior high and high school students.
How to Teach Study Skills and Comprehension – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna or Joshua Reish explains how to teach your students to learn including how to encourage and build comprehension; how to teach mnemonics and other retention techniques; choosing books; the importance of questions and verbal interchange in building comprehension; teaching children to think via discussions; building a background of experience; thinking to write and writing to think; and more.
Editing and Grammar Essentials – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna Reish teaches home school moms how to edit their students’ writings and help their students learn to edit and revise themselves including content editing and usage editing, as well as using checklists to revise and improve writing. The handout and checklist provided in this workshop are great helps to homeschool moms.
Teaching Creative Writing – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna Reish teaches home schooling parents how to teach creative writing—with handouts and lots of application, Donna will take parents through the creative essay, using quotations, writing short stories (with scene development, goals, obstacles, and resolution), and much more.
From Words to Sentences and More – Donna Reish or Joshua Reish
Donna Reish teaches home schooling parents how to teach the fundamentals of sentence writing, vocabulary building, and punctuation. Taking the “complex” out of those “complex-compound” sentence structures we learned in school many years ago, Donna teaches the structure of a sentence, sentence combining, sentence openers, and much more in an extremely easy-to-understand way.
Teaching Literature – Joshua Reish
Do names like Shakespeare, Milton, and Longfellow intimidate you as a teacher? Is it really necessary for your students to study literature? In this workshop, Joshua Reish will explain why the study of literature is important for all students, and more importantly, how you can teach it with confidence.
How to teach Shakespeare Even if You Don’t Understand It – Joshua Reish
In this workshop Joshua Reish, a home school graduate with a BA in history, will explain why Shakespeare is considered the best writer in world history and why a study of his works is one of the most important subjects for high school students. He will also show you creative and fun ways you can teach Shakespeare even if you don’t understand it yourself, as well as the impact Shakespeare’s writings have had on his life in other areas, besides literature.
How to Start Speech and Debate Clubs and Classes – Ray or Joshua Reish….This workshop explains how to teach speech and debate in your home, in a class, or with a newly-found club. This is the place to start if you want to introduce your attendees to speech and debate.
Teaching Beginning Debate – Ray or Joshua Reish
Ray or Joshua teaches the basics of policy debate for those interested in learning what debate is all about. Good overview of the basics of homeschool debate.
2. Additional Workshop Possibilities
We have two workshops that we do entirely on their own if someone if your group would like to host these—or if you would like parts of them done in order at your convention.
Language Arts Workshops
In addition to workshop topics, Donna (and/or Joshua) is available for an all day or half day language arts workshop. In this workshop, depending on the time available, Donna covers such topics as the following:
The grammar and composition connection—the importance of teaching grammar hand-in-hand with composition
How to teach composition
Using the Key Word Outline approach
Editing and Revising Essays
The timed essay (SAT and ACT)
How to teach language arts using an integrated approach (CQLA)
Editing sessions (in which parents bring papers for Donna to help them edit)
“Character Training From the Heart” seminar—Ray and Donna
Some of the sessions described above in the character training section come from this seminar. The entire seminar, in seven forty to fifty-minute sessions is as follows:
1. The Five W’s of Character Training
2. Parenting Paradigms
3. Starting Out Right With Babies and Toddlers
4. Early Qualities for Preschoolers
5. Child Training vs. Heart Training
6. Character Qualities for Elementary Ages
7. Helping Tweens Grow in Character and Virtue
3. Biographical and Publishing Information
Ray and Donna Reish are the homeschooling parents of seven children, ages fourteen to thirty. Donna has written over fifty curriculum books for two publishers over the past twelve years, including, among others, “Character Quality Language Arts” and “Meaningful Composition.” The two of them own and operate a homeschooling publishing company and cottage class provider, Training for Triumph; Christian parenting ministry/seminar, “Character Training From the Heart”; and “Positive Parenting” blog. Additionally, the couple has written a homeschooling book entitled, “The Well-Trained Heart.” They have graduated six students (as of May 2013!) who are involved in occupations, ministries, and marriages that exemplify the relational, character-based parenting and homeschooling approach that they were raised with. They live near Fort Wayne, Indiana where they test their homeschool curricula with over one hundred students every year, blog about parenting and language arts, write and publish books for homeschoolers, spend tons of time with all seven of their kids, and help homeschoolers and parents in their area in any way they can.
Donna Reish is the homeschooling mother of seven children, ages fourteen to thirty. She has written nearly fifty curriculum books for two publishers over the past twelve years, including, among others, “Character Quality Language Arts” and “Meaningful Composition.” She and her husband own and operate a homeschooling publishing company and cottage class provider, Training for Triumph; Christian parenting ministry/seminar, “Character Training From the Heart”; and “Positive Parenting” blog. Additionally, the couple has written a homeschooling book entitled, “The Well-Trained Heart.” They have graduated six students (as of May 2013!) who are involved in occupations, ministries, and marriages that exemplify the relational, character-based parenting and homeschooling approach that they were raised with. Donna and her family live near Fort Wayne, Indiana where Donna, originally trained in undergrad school in Elementary Education and grad school in Reading Education, continues to educate her seventh and final homeschooled student, teaches one hundred plus students every year in “cottage classes” to test her books, writes fiction and teaching materials with her oldest son, blogs about parenting and language arts, spends tons of time with all seven of her kids, and helps homeschoolers and parents in the area in any way she can.
Ray Reish is the homeschooling father of seven children, ages fourteen to thirty. He and his wife own and operate a homeschooling publishing company and cottage class provider, Training for Triumph; Christian parenting ministry/seminar, “Character Training From the Heart”; and “Positive Parenting” blog. Additionally, the couple has written a homeschooling book entitled, “The Well-Trained Heart.” They have graduated six students (as of May 2013!) who are involved in occupations, ministries, and marriages that exemplify the relational, character-based parenting and homeschooling approach that they were raised with. Ray does not call himself the school “principal,” but prefers for his primary title (after DAD!) to be “homeschool janitor,” teaching young fathers to be servant leaders in their homeschools. Ray and his family live near Ossian, Indiana where Ray, a CPA, works as a Materials Manager in a local plant, operates Training for Triumph, plays basketball with his four sons, ballroom dances with his wife, talks “forever” with his three adult daughters, and helps homeschoolers and parents however he can.
Joshua Reish is the oldest child of Ray and Donna Reish. Joshua was homeschooled his entire life and graduated from homeschooling. Joshua then went on to test out of his entire college degree (BA in history) except for two classes for which there were no tests available. Joshua works with his mom writing curriculum and teaching writing classes to homeschoolers. Additionally, he is an editor for his family’s small press publisher, Training for Triumph. Besides teaching writing classes, Joshua also teaches speech, debate, US history, government, economics, literature, apologetics, world history, and more. Joshua is married to a young lady who was also homeschooled her entire life, and they make their home in Bluffton, Indiana.
by Donna | Dec 15, 2012
A few years ago I wrote a “Holiday Musings” article for Training for Triumph’s newsletter. It has a lot of the same ideals that you will find in this blog—in season and out of season! However, I want to share it with you this Christmas. I pray that you will be moved and encouraged by it.
“Holiday Musings”
by Donna Reish
I love Christmas! I love giving gifts to my children; I love lights and beautiful decorations; I love doing family activities over and over again every year; I love baking goodies and giving them away. I even have a verse to substantiate my desire to give good gifts to my kids at Christmas time: “If ye, then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your father, which is in heaven, give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:11). I mean, God knows that even we mere mortals love to give good gifts to our kids!
Although all of the things in my “I love” list above are somewhat “unspiritual,” we have found through the years there are some common threads that we try to emphasize/do during the Christmas holiday—some to remember and ponder what Christ has done for us more fully; some to deepen our relationships with each other; some to show Christ’s love to the world. Allow me to give you a list of my holiday musings.
1. Think about, talk about, sing about, and remember the true reason for Christmas as a family throughout the month.
We have found many things that help us focus on the birth of Christ more and more throughout December: singing carols together; reading Christmas picture books with the littles in the afternoons; collecting nativity scenes; reading from chapter books that emphasize the birth of Christ, such as Max Lucado’s Cosmic Christmas, Gene Edwards’ The Birth, and Marjorie Holmes’ Two From Galilee; going to community events that point us back to the reason for the season, such as Christmas plays, live nativities, walks through Bethlehem, Christmas cantatas, movies, and plays that emphasize the coming of the Savior.
2. Create family traditions.
We have too many holiday traditions to list in just one short article, but research has born out the importance of traditions in building a child’s outlook on many things—and it is so obvious when you hear children talk and repeat that mantra: “We always…” There is something about being able to say that “We always …” or “In our family, we… “
Two of our favorite traditions are decorating the house together and reading inspirational Christmas stories throughout the month of December. Our older kids laugh until they cry as they give play-by-plays of each ornament making ordeal we have gone through. (Our tree is decorated with only home made ornaments—another tradition we have is that of making ornaments together.) Anyway, they have a joke of holding up the sample ornament (one that I bought that we were modeling after) and holding up one of ours and chiming, “Sample ornament; Reish ornament” over and over. Then they tell about the time I threw the cinnamon sticks across the room in a fit of Christmas stress as we tried to make the “ornaments in a minute” out of cinnamon sticks. Then we all laugh some more—and I try my best to keep from crying as I think about Christmases gone by—and wonder where the years have gone and long for just a day from a Christmas ten or fifteen years ago.
Traditions do not have to be elaborate or expensive. Some of ours (besides the decorating night and ornament making) are as simple as watching certain Christmas movies while we wrap gifts; eating shrimp alfredo while we watch White Christmas; reading about holiday traditions each morning; learning a new carol together each year (all the verses!); having the kids exchange their gifts with each other on Christmas Eve; reading inspirational stories each night before bed; reading one of the Gospels during the month of December; etc.
3. Think about Jesus’ entire life—his birth, life, death, and resurrection—not just his birth.
Linking the Christmas story to the fact that without it we would have no hope of salvation is important, especially with younger children. Two ways that we do this include discussing, reading about, and singing about the names of Christ and what they mean throughout the month; and reading one of the Gospels—not just the Christmas story—during December. This helps us focus on our salvation even more. (Another thing we have done to focus on Jesus’ entire life is to listen to Focus on the Family’s radio theatre “The Luke Reports.” I will put links to some excellent resources throughout December, so check back frequently!)
4. Reach out to those less fortunate—and do so in a way that costs you and your children something.
I know that doesn’t sound very “Christmasy”—good cheer and mistletoe and all (btw, I love mistletoe if the right “mistletoe-ee” is around!), but taking a can to a canned food drive or parents buying gifts for the children to leave at the angel tree are not sacrifices for our children—and do not do much to teach our children the true meaning of Christmas—and the true meaning of sacrificial giving.
When I speak of reaching out to those less fortunate, I am talking about giving up time (a few evenings or days?) and money (money with which a child could buy himself something). I’m talking about doing hard things. I’m talking about getting dirty, being inconvenienced, etc. I know that sounds strange, but honestly, what could we possibly do or give that would be too much for our Lord? Find true, meaningful service projects for your children—extensive time spent at a nursing home or group home caroling, making cookies with residents, reading to them, etc.; earning money to be used to give gifts to truly poor or forgotten people (like county home residents or the disabled); going out into the homes of people who never have a Christmas visitor; serving food at a soup kitchen; cleaning mattresses at a rescue mission. Focus on others more than ever before this Christmas—your children will thank you for it eventually. (For the new year, read the stories written by the author of Mandate for Mercy (also the founder of the Mercy Ship ministry) about how his mom made his family squeeze together in the car every week to pick up poor and desperate people to take them to church—and the impact this had on this man causing him to spend his life on the poor and desolate—this is the kind of reaching out we are purporting here.)
5. Reach out to your relatives.
Yes, those strangers who are watching “bad” things on television the whole family get together while puffing away on their cigarettes. Teach your children to go to family get togethers to serve—not to judge. Start out teaching your children about this concept of serving relatives with a Bible study (ahead of time) on “being great in God’s kingdom by serving” and “doing for others asking nothing in return” and “being a light by your good works.”
Then, if it is true, tell your children that you have been more concerned about yourself than you have of others at past family get togethers. And that you want your entire family to change all of that. That you want to “do your good works that others would glorify your father in heaven.” Discuss ways that you can do this during this holiday season: working harder to make good dishes to the gatherings (no lentil casserole, please—bless these people with fat and sugar!); helping with young cousins; encouraging grandparents; helping to set up and take down; being kind to each other as an example of family unity to those who might not have any idea what that looks like.
(Note: Because I always get asked this, I will put a caveat here—I am not talking about reaching out to relatives in any way that would put your children in danger. We recommend that your children never be left with non-Christians and never be put in situations in which they could be harmed.)
6. Really talk to others this holiday season.
Your ministry of bringing your relatives to Christ will begin not with your family’s judgment of them, but with your interest and concern for their lives in general. Jeff Myers, leadership specialist, founder of Passing the Baton, and current president of Summit Ministries (as of 2012), gives the following list of things to discuss this year with relatives young and old. Some are one-on-one types of discussions while others would work well for group discussions**:
Express thanks to someone in the room for something they did for you.
“I’m thankful for…” Finish the sentence.
If you could have the attention of the whole world for 30 seconds, what would you say?
One thing I’m thankful for about our country.
What is the key to success in life? Why do you say that?
Tell about a lesson you learned the hard way.
What are some ways life is different now than in the old days?
Tell a story of a decision your ancestors made that changed the direction of their lives-and yours.
Tell about a lesson you learned by watching someone else.
“A person I would like to honor publicly is…”
“Time and money aside, I would rather be…”
Tell about an experience that changed you for the better.
Tell a story about something that started out bad but had a happy ending.
“My first hero was _________.”
Tell about a time when you showed courage.
Describe a teacher who had a significant influence on your life.
Tell about an invention that made your life easier.
“The most admired public figure when I was growing up was ____.” Tell a story.
Tell about a memorable event in your life.
“A famous person I’ve met is _____.” Tell about the experience.
“I got in so much trouble…” Tell the story!
(www.passingthebaton.readyportal.net/page/68289/;jsessionid=6rj638as0ohf7 )
**Note: These are good to print off and use as dinner discussion for your immediate family, too!
6. Express genuine gratefulness to God and others.
December is a month to really display the quality of gratefulness—and to teach your children to do so too. Not just mere ”thank-you’s”—but sincere thanksgiving to God for His Son and for others for everything they do for us. Teaching children to say thank-you, write thank-you notes, etc. is a start. However, gratefulness begins with the realization that everything good we have comes from the hand of God. That we are nothing without Him. And that He knows what we need more than we do. It is deepened when we give up materialism—the idea that we have to have this or that in order to be happy—and focus instead on the good things God has done for us. Thoughts on materialism would require an entire article in itself, but when we have to have things to make us happy, when our mood and outlook change as a result of getting more and more, or when we cannot be happy in whatever situation we are in (materially speaking), we are probably steeped in materialism. Praying through this, sharing with our family the importance of giving up our ideas that we somehow deserve this or that, focusing on gratefulness for all that God has done for us outside the material things we are lacking—these are ways to feel and exhibit true gratefulness.
7. Spend quality time reaching into your children’s hearts.
That’s a tough one, huh? I mean, the busiest time of the year, and we have to add another thing to the list. I remember vividly eighteen years ago when I had five kids ten and under. I still had younger siblings at home who would come and spend a lot of Christmas week with us. I made four Christmas dinners in a row for various relatives. I got up early in the morning to make home baked bread and rolls and went to bed late at night to get the overnight breakfast casseroles in the oven. I get tired just thinking about it. I was trying to serve others, but found myself distanced from my kids by the time the holiday week was over. I can remember looking at Joshua, then ten, one evening after the relatives had all left, and calling him over to ”sit in Mommy’s rainbow” (my bent legs as I lay on the sofa)—and he seemed so far away. I had been with him all week—I was usually with my older kids all the time as they did not have any older siblings to take them anywhere like my littles now have! However, I felt so far from him. I had let the busy-ness of Christmas keep me from those I love the most. Now I have to remind myself that one more home made goody or one more shopping day is not worth distancing myself from my children. Stay close. It’s Christmas!
This Christmas I pray that all of us can ”keep Christmas” in a way that glorifies God and teaches our children deep Christmas truths.
*Copyright TFT 2008
