Throughout the years, we have been told that we take parenting too seriously. Yes, people actually told us that. They told us to lighten up. They have told us it doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it.
However, we have never believed them. Is it possible to take the most important job you’ll ever be asked to do seriously? Is it really possible to simplify the active parenting that much? After all, is it parenting, that is, raising people, by its very nature non-simple?
While there are ways to simplify the processes of homemaking and even parenting in general when it comes to schedules, multitasking, and prioritizing, the bottom line is that parenting is hard work.
Many years ago however, we hit upon what we see as the number one secret to successful parenting: availability. Just like the quote by dear Abby says: “you want your children to turn out well, spent half as much money on them and twice as much time,” the truth of the matter is that children take a lot of time to raise well.
While you can shortcut meal planning, hire someone for housecleaning, and get help for laundry and other tasks, our children just want us. It is not possible to create more time at a set amount of time anymore than it is possible to wish that a dollar bill were five dollar bill.
Children take a long time at each level and age – nursing and rocking infants, playing with the chasing toddlers, reading to an rumbling with preschoolers, instructing elementary children, and reaching the heart of our tweens and teens.
While I love to be inspired and to inspire others, I am a teacher at heart, and teaching is what I must do. Always.
So here are some tips for finding the time that is really required to raise our children well:
1) Time yourself on “free time” activities—I know we all want free time (and maybe even deserve it), but we have each child for eighteen years—let’s give them the time they need during those years. By setting a timer on what could be come major “time wasters,” we will be sure to use our free time wisely and have more time left for our children.
2) Set dates and times to be with your kids. We schedule calendar meetings or plan to meet in the living room or plan to go places together. If you fail to plan, you will plan to fail!
3) Decide which household tasks and jobs can done later—or not at all. My expectations for my house, yard, etc., have dropped significantly through the years in an effort to give my children more time.
4) Work fewer hours. We have had to adjust our work time—yes, we have less money, but since we want to “spend less money and more time” on our kids anyway, it all works out! 🙂
5) Evaluate hobbies and activities carefully. Can some of these wait until kids are out of the house?
Time—our kids want it. Our kids need it. And it takes a lot of it to do this parenting thing well!
