I have loved seeing families’ bucket lists on Facebook! They make me wish that bucket lists were popular when my kids were little!

(Well, I guess we made our own Bucket List with our Summer School Goals—oh, my kids loved those!)

And I love having fun as a family…I mean, honestly, we were a FUN family. And we still go to Disney World as a family every five years!!! (Thanks to Plexus, we are moving that up to every three years!)

But for this post, I would like to propose a different bucket list than the traditional, fun, memory-making bucket list. It is the Summer Family Bucket List to Grow.

The Summer Family Bucket List to Grow

What do I mean by list to grow? I mean a purposeful list (in addition to your fun one—don’t do away with that one!) of things you will do this summer to help your family grow spiritually, morally, in character, in unity, and in benevolence.

A list of things you will do that will cause your children individually and your family as a whole to learn more about God, to grow closer to each other. To serve and help. Well…to grow!

I have included a fun printable meme (click here) that you can use as a reminder (put it on your fridge beside your fun bucket list)….but just like any goals, I want to encourage you to be specific.

You can print off that meme and highlight the things you intend to (I mean, would like to) do (since abstract lists do not usually happen!).

But take your Summer Family Bucket List to Grow one step further—and make those things happen!

If you have heard us talk about goal setting for your family, you know that we encourage you to make your goals like this:

1. List an outcome you want

2. Determine an action that will help you achieve that

3. Put the action into the schedule or routine

(For examples of these steps for summer goals, see the post here.)

In other words, don’t just let the pretty printable be it! Get proactive. Make an exact action and a time to complete that action. This will ensure that you get to some of your “growing” bucket list items!

I pray your summer is rewarding, growing, and fun! Blessings to you and your family!

What “growing” things are on your family’s list this summer? Share some to inspire others!

Links:

Homeschooling Mamas Earning Money From Home (Join my Team!)

[Series] 52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids

[Podcast] 30 Tips from 30 Years of Homeschooling

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For not really being “singers”—and for most of us not really knowing that much about music—we are a pretty “sing-ee” family! We love to sing hymns and worship songs while we’re driving or sitting around the living room. If one of our pianists is here (Kara and Cami), it’s even better! At Christmas time, we really getting into the singing spirit! We love to memorize a complete carol (all the verse) and sing it together; we love to drive around looking at lights and have someone lead out when a certain decoration or sight reminds him of a carol; we love to “sing through the Christmas story.”

Several years ago as we were sitting around singing carols, we challenged the kids to sing a song about a certain part of the nativity story (one part at a time). Before we knew it, we had compiled an entire “cantata” (roflol!) singing through the Christmas story. Cami quickly found the words to all of the carols and made a colorful song sheet on the computer for everybody—and we have since enjoyed “singing through the Christmas story” quite often.

Below are the songs that we sing in the order that we sing them, along with links to the words to each one. Obviously, there are others that would also fit, but these are the ones we discovered and have enjoyed singing. Happy caroling!

1. “O Little Town of Bethlehem” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#olittletown

2. “The First Noel” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#firstnoel

3. “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#hark

4. “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#itcameupon

5. “Silent Night” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#silentnight

6. “O Come, All Ye Faithful” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#ocomeallye

7. “Away in a Manger” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#awayinamanger

8. “O Holy Night” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#oholynight

9. “We Three Kings of Orient Are” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#wethreekings

10. “Joy to the World” https://www.allthingschristmas.com/music/lyrics.html#joy

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Tonight as we drove home from an extended family Christmas gathering, reading aloud and singing, I was reminded of an old article I wrote for our newsletter several years ago—Christmas in the Car. I will post it in its entirety below—gotta sneak in those family times any chance we get as our kids get older!

From 2004:

If your children are growing up as fast as ours are, and if you travel distances to church, piano lessons, grandparents, etc. as we do, you might want to try some of our “Christmas in the Car” tips. Basically, every year I see the holiday time slipping away from us. The girls are taking college classes; off to Spanish or piano; teaching their own guitar, language arts, and piano students; working at their jobs; and more. Every time I think we’re going to have a sing-along/reading time tonight, someone announces that she has a Spanish test tomorrow and has to study all evening! Thus, our “Christmas in the Car” time was born.

We spend a great deal of time in the vehicle each week—driving to lessons, church, grandparents, etc.—all forty-five minutes away from us minimum. Being the efficiency expert that I am (of sorts!), I began utilizing this time in the vehicle to keep some of our holiday traditions alive. Try some of our “Christmas in the Car” ideas—and keep those traditions going strong:

*Sing carols as you drive.

*Listen to Christmas radio dramas (Focus on the Family has good ones), Uncle Dan and Aunt Sue Christmas stories, Christmas books on tape, Adventures in Oddysey Christmas stories, etc. as you are driving.

*Sing your way through the Christmas story. Start with “Mary, Did You Know?” and move on to “Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem,” then move onto anything having to do with the shepherds (“The First Noel,” “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” “Angels We Have Heard on High”). Next move into the birth/after the birth with “Silent Night,” “O Come All Ye Faithful,” “Away in a Manger,” and “We Three Kings.” Lastly, sing of the joy of his arrival: “Joy to the World” and “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.”

*Tell the Christmas story in one sentence increments as you go around the van, person-by-person. (This gets interesting with the little ones who might have them fleeing Herod’s wrath before Jesus is even born!)

*If a passenger can read without being sick, you might read your way through a favorite (pictureless) holiday book. We enjoy reading Cosmic Christmas by Max Lucado and The Birth by Gene Edwards. Everyone looks forward to reading another chapter the next time we get in the van.

*Likewise, we read “devotional” type books about Christmas while we drive. This year, we are enjoying short chapters in the book Stories Behind the Best-Loved Songs of Christmas (see review). We have also enjoyed Christmas Stories From the Heart, The Christmas Reader, and more in years past.

*Use the driving time to memorize the Christmas story from the book of Luke. (We like to assign one verse to each person and go from person to person.)

*We enjoy memorizing all the verses from a certain Christmas song each year. In years past, we have memorized “Away in a Manger,” “Twelve Days of Christmas,” and “We Three Kings.” We can still sing most of the verses today!

*Drive by Christmas lights on your evening travels.

*Go through a drive-through or walk-through nativity while driving by one.

*Deliver goodies to those in route.

*Play “20 Questions Christmas-Style” or “Name That Christmas Tune.”

*New game: A person picks three things about the Christmas story that are really true or just thought to be true (or embellished, such as the little drummer boy playing for Jesus), and the others try to guess which two things are really in the Bible and which one is not. This is eye-opening.

*Sing whatever Christmas song you are reminded of by the decorations you see—stars, snowmen, angels, etc.

*Make up your own humorous twelve days of Christmas song, with each person getting to add their own items to the list as you sing around the van.

*Play the ABC Christmas game—“What I love about Christmas is A for angel, B for baby, C for candy, etc.” Go around and each person starts with A and tries to remember what was previously said. (This is a spin-off of the “I went to Grandma’s and I took A for applesauce, B for blankets, etc.)

*My personal favorite: Have someone write your holiday cooking and shopping list and holiday menus down for you while you drive and dictate to them. (Be forewarned: No comments about the spelling or penmanship are allowed when the child is done writing for you!)

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“Linus’ reading of the story of the Nativity was, quite simply, the dramatic highlight of the season.” Harriet Van Horne in the “New York World Telegram” December 1965

Every year our family enjoys reading about Christmas traditions and songs—how they began, what they mean, etc. One of my favorite readings is the story of how “A Charlie Brown Christmas” came about—and continues to bless people today. Read my “story behind the Charlie Brown Christmas” below aloud to your family—then watch the movie (or at least check out the given links from youtube). Have fun!

On Thursday, December 9, 1965 (nearly fifty years ago!), “A Charlie Brown Christmas” made its debut on CBS on television screens all over the United States. Surprising the network executives, this darling Christmas story was an immediate hit. It seems that its creator, Charles Schulz, battled with the powers-that-be at the network concerning the show’s religious content (CBS thought it was too religious) and the kids’ voices (citing that they should be professional actors, not children). Additionally, they felt that Vince Guaraldi’s theme music was too modern for kids’ tastes. (The jazz soundtrack has, by the way, become a classic.)

Rumor has it that through the years it has been suggested that Linus’ reading of the Christmas story from Luke be taken out of the movie. However, forty-five years later, this classic still contains that powerful passage from Luke, those sweet child voices, and that catchy music*—and each year the true story of Jesus’ birth and the reason for the season—is proclaimed via the secular media.

The post Charlie Brown Christmas (reprint) appeared first on Character Ink.

So….if you are serious about helping your toddlers and preschoolers love books, learning, simple things, routine, and more, check out the links below!

Wondering Wednesday Video—“Creating a Love for Learning in Littles”

In this video, Donna gives specific tips on book baskets, activity tubs, reducing technology (and using it well), and more.

Room Time Activities Resource List

In this document, Donna details great products to use with toddlers and preschoolers—for Room Time activities and for to you do with your littles.

Timberdoodle

Great place to get age-appropriate “school kits.” Don’t let the homeschool kits aspect scare you. These are amazing kits of the best of the best put together for toddlers and preschoolers!

Creating a Love for Learning in Your Home

In this audio, Donna talks about love for learning in older children.

Turning High Need Preschoolers Into Darling Angels

In this audio, Donna talks about common preschool behavior problems and ways to handle them.

Preparing Your Preschooler to Learn to Read

In this audio, Donna teaches some strategies and habits that will help preschoolers be prepared to learn to read when the time comes.

Tips for Avoiding the Terrible Twos

In this video, Donna talks about strategies to use with your pre-two year old to avoid those “terrible twos” that people always talk about.

What to Do With a Wonderful One Year Old

In this audio series (two part), Donna talks about the amazing days of one year olds.

Jonathan’s Journal Blog Series

In this blog series, Donna uses her unpublished children’s book, Jonathan’s Journal, to detail a wonderful day it the life of a preschooler—teaching parents every hour of the day!
 

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One of our favorite ways to stay close to our kids was always spending one-on-one time with them. Yes, we had seven children in fourteen years. Yes, we were busy. Yes, my husband worked long hours.

But just about nothing got in the way of staying close to our kids. It was that important. (And it still is today with our adult children ages seventeen to thirty-two!)

Carving out one-on-one time with our kids in a busy household is not easy. Everything is vying for our time and attention. However, one way that we found to do this was to “make a date.” That is, make appointments and actual schedule that time so that (1) the child knew it was coming and (2) we knew that it was already planned and the child knew about it—so we were less likely to cancel. (Somehow, saying that we are going to have more time together just doesn’t work that well!)

We did this in a number of ways—half birthday dinners with Mom and Dad, Wonderful Wednesdays, “sit closest to Mom days,” and many more…all of which give me great joy in their memories.

Recently we have added a downloadable product to our store to help families set up these “appointments” with their kids. They are called “Keep Close Coupons.” The title alone tells your child that time with him or her is important—it is purposeful. That you want time with your child and that you want to be close to him.

I have tips in the Keep Close Coupon front matter describing how to use these coupons, so I thought I would share them here in a blog post as well. These tips apply whether you buy our coupons or create your own. 🙂

(For more on building strong relationships with your kids, see our podcast episode, Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Training Times With Tweens and Teens.)

Thoughts about these coupons

(1) There are a lot of coupons for special things floating around, but we like these because their name tells the why behind them. We are going to do this or that because we want to keep close.

(2) Don’t pass them out constantly—and possibly not even once a week. (Other coupons, like affirmation ones, are good for weekly or lunch box types of coupons.)

(3) These should be used to communicate to the child that you want to do something special together so that you can be close to each other.

(4) Try to do low to no cost things so that it doesn’t become a thing where your child always has to DO something in order to be with you. (See ideas below.)

(5) Alternate with just Mom; just Dad; and Mom and Dad together with the child.

(6) The activities together do not have to be long. (Again, see ideas below.) They can be as short as an hour long card game or a walk in the neighborhood.

(7) While you don’t want these to get expensive, if you have pre-teens and teens, do plan to incorporate some food-related outings! It can be simple like an ice cream cone from McDonalds, but our experience has been that tweens and teens love to eat!

(8) Be sure that your times together are not always so activity-driven that you can’t talk and just be together. For example, while going to the movies might be fun, it would be better to go to the park and take a picnic snack and walk around the lake so that you can really connect.

(9) Take notes about what your child likes, what outings or times together meant a lot to him before, etc. Our oldest son thrived on my husband meeting him in the driveway to shoot baskets at ten every night after Ray had put the littles to bed. Some things are more special to some kids than other things are.

(10) If you are giving these to teens, you might not want to put a date on the coupon. While it is easier to schedule with an elementary child (Saturday morning breakfast sandwich at the park), teens’ schedules are often challenging to work around. You want to give him the what then determine a time together that works. (These should not feel like obligations to the teens—like time that you are taking away from other things.)

The post Keeping Kids Close appeared first on Character Ink.

 
Five Tips for Avoiding the Terrible Two’s!

(1) Discern between wants and needs prior to the twenty-four month mark

(2) Mean what you say (“Don’t say no unless you’ll go”)

(3) Don’t sweat the small stuff—discerning between truly bad behaviors (behavior absolutes) and childishness

(4) Provide consistency

(5) Tell, don’t ask (unless it’s okay if the child disobeys or doesn’t listen).

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The post [Video] Five Tips for Avoiding The Terrible Twos appeared first on Character Ink.

Christmas story read aloud was truly one of the highlights of our year. I collected beautiful, amazing picture books that we read out of each afternoon during story time. Then as the kids got older, I began collecting story “collections” or “anthologies” to read short stories aloud at the dinner table, during unit studies, before bed, and while traveling by car. Still today we read aloud at least one Christmas story on family decorating night and one story on our family Christmas even—with all fifteen of us gathered around. We never tire of the same heart-warming stories year after year (though when the kids were younger and still at home, we did many, many different stories).

I love sharing “public domain” or “available online” stories in this blog for families to read aloud together during the Christmas season. This is one of those beautiful stories.

Lee Strobel, in his book, “A Case for Christmas,” tells the heart-warming story of the poverty-stricken family he met while “investigating” Christ (as an atheist) many years ago when he was a journalist for “The Chicago Tribune.”

This family, the Delgados, ultimately awakened his previously-absent faith, proving that during this time of year, and all of the time, the words, “they will know you are Christians by your love” are completely accurate.

The Delgados, sixty-year old Perfecta and her two granddaughters Lydia and Jenny, were living in a small apartment after having been burned out of their roach-infested tenement. Strobel arrived at their home as he was working on a series about the neediest people in Chicago. Strobel could not believe what he found—a small kitchen table and a handful of rice. A short-sleeved dress each for the girls—and one sweater that the two of them took turns wearing, alternating as they walked to and home from school a half mile away.

Besides the shock of extreme poverty that Mr. Strobel observed, he also witnessed another first—the hope and peace that this arthritic, sickly grandmother exuded. She was sure of her faith, convinced that Jesus had not and never would abandon them.

The atheist-journalist wrote the article, but could not get this family out of his mind. He pondered the irony of it all—this family had nothing but faith and yet was joy-filled. He had all things material, but lacked faith—and felt hollow within.

On Christmas Eve, he decided to drop in on the Delgados. What he saw again shocked him. Where there had been lack, there now was plenty. Where there had been emptiness, there now was fullness. The readers of his newspaper had responded generously to his article, providing this family with an apartment brimming with material gifts: roomfuls of furniture and appliances; beautiful Christmas tree with gifts galore beneath it; more food than they had probably seen in one place; myriads of clothing, including warm winter garments, scarves, gloves, and hats. Additionally, they had received thousands of dollars in cash.

Strobel’s retelling of the moments after he entered the apartment this second time is so poignant, allow me to quote from the book (and the website linked at the end of this post):

“But as surprised as I was by this outpouring, I was even more astonished by what my visit was interrupting: Perfecta and her granddaughters were getting ready to give away much of their newfound wealth.”

“ When I asked Perfecta why, she replied in halting English: ‘Our neighbors are still in need. We cannot have plenty while they have nothing. This is what Jesus would want us to do.’”

”That blew me away! If I had been in their position at that time in my life, I would have been hoarding everything. I asked Perfecta what she thought about the generosity of the people who had sent all of these goodies, and again her response amazed me: ‘This is wonderful; this is very good,’ she said, gesturing toward the largess. ‘We did nothing to deserve this — it’s a gift from God.’ ‘But’, she added, ‘it is not his greatest gift. No, we celebrate that tomorrow. That is Jesus.’”

”To her, this child in the manger was the undeserved gift that meant everything — more than material possessions, more than comfort, more than security. And at that moment, something inside of me wanted desperately to know this Jesus — because, in a sense, I saw him in Perfecta and her granddaughters.”

”They had peace despite poverty, while I had anxiety despite plenty; they knew the joy of generosity, while I only knew the loneliness of ambition; they looked heavenward for hope, while I only looked out for myself; they experienced the wonder of the spiritual while I was shackled to the shallowness of the material — and something made me long for what they had. Or, more accurately, for the One they knew.”

“The Delgados amazed me by the way they sacrificially reached out to their neighbors with a tangible expression of Christ’s love. What an opportunity for all of us to follow their cue this Christmas season — and to watch as God cracks open the hearts of even the most hard-hearted cynics.”

The quotes in this post were taken from Lee Strobel’s book, THE CASE FOR CHRISTMAS, as was the content of the story. (By the way, that book is an amazing Christmas devotional for families of kids ages twelve and up!)

You may access the story in its entirety, as well as more information about Mr. Strobel’s books here. (or click on the image below!)

P.S. What is your family’s favorite Christmas read aloud?

Love and hope,

The post A Case for Christmas appeared first on Character Ink.

This is a special episode as the question came from a young mama who was a student of mine several years ago in language arts and writing classes. When I get a parenting or homeschooling question from a former student, I run, not walk, to get it answered for them. It brings me such joy to have helped these students with language arts, writing, speech, or debate—and now to help them with parenting.

Here is the YouTube description of this week’s episode. Feel free to pass it on to a friend! 🙂

“In this video, Donna Reish of Character Ink Press, Plexus to Feel Great, and Donna Reish.com, answers a reader’s question about bedtime with toddlers. Donna addresses two foundational beliefs/practices for parents—not rushing into the next stage too quickly for each child and fulfilling your parent responsibilities in each situation that you are trying to remedy or improve in your home. Then Donna moves into the exact steps that can be used to correct/improve toddler’s bedtime behaviors. Donna and her husband have raised seven children, ages eighteen to thirty-four, and have homeschooled all of them for over thirty years. Donna has written seventy language arts and writing books and dozens of parenting downloadable products.”

Love and hope,
Donna

The post [Video] Toddlers & Bedtime appeared first on Character Ink.

This is funny….but you know this wise old mama of seven has to give advice to counteract:

(1) Tell, don’t ask. If you ask, expect and accept a no. You did ask, after all.

(2) Teach toddler to only say no to danger or people trying to harm him. Teach him to answer you yes after you’ve explained while making eye contact.

(3) Don’t use distractions (except for babies). Dressing is what humans do each day.

(4) Never permit any physical harm. He should never hit, bite, head butt, or harm another. (Getting rid of those behaviors is why we used cribs for a long time…toddlers who harm others should be separated for a bit.)

(5) Don’t give too many choices. “Today we are playing in the park so it’s play jeans and old tennies, but which play shirt do you want.”

(6) Don’t be afraid to explain things. That is how they learn and keep from getting frustrated. Just don’t let your explanation become a debate.

(7) Don’t let child run from you. Running is for playing. Again, use crib for runners.

I know it’s not easy…but it’s also not as hard as we make it. ?

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