There are five influences that we have found in determining priorities in life. Obviously, there are more impacts than these; however, these are the five that have guided us through the years. Like everything else we have learned and applied in our lives, these were learned from others (especially through Gregg Harris Seasons of Life seminar)—for which we will be eternally grateful.

The five influences on prioritizing include the following:

1. Spouse

2. Boundaries in Already in Place in Your life: People and Situations

3. More Boundaries: Talents and Skills

4. Seasons of Life

5. Physical Seasons

1. Prioritize With Your Spouse

Hopefully, you and your spouse have the same goals in life. If that is the case, then you both want the same things: to live lives that please and honor God; to have godly, well educated children; to make a difference in the world; etc. But there are so many ways to please and honor God; there are so many ways to educate our children; there are so many ways to make a difference in the world.

 If you and your spouse are on the same page with your priorities, I recommend that you go through the rest of today’s and tomorrow’s posts about determining priorities together. Talking through your goals, dreams, and visions together will help to further solidify your priorities–and what you should be spending your life on.

2. Prioritize Based on Boundaries Already in Place in Your Life: People and Situations

Many things that should be our priorities are staring us right in the face, literally. God has already placed people in our lives that are built in priorities. They are already there–they just need to be prioritized.

For example, if you have children and a husband, these are boundaries–built-in priorities–that should take precedence over other things. They are placed in your life by God Himself. He is giving you ready-made priorities and is just waiting for you to put them high on your priority list where they belong.

3. More Boundaries: Talents and Skills

Another built-in boundary that aids in prioritizing is that of talents and skills. As we recognize talents and skills that God has given us, we can safely assume that God wants those as priorities in our lives–or wants to use them to help us reach those priorities.

Your skills and talents were given especially to you. When my older children were younger, I always wanted to do and be something other than what I was. I especially envied other people’s talents. For instance, I saw musical families and wished that we could be musical. I wanted all of us to be up on stage somewhere playing instruments together. However, I was not given the skills of music, nor were Ray and many of the children.

Using the skills that I have, rather than wanting others’ skills, saves time and gives me more energy to meet the priorities God has given me. We have chosen to focus on the skills that God has given our family: some are intellectually gifted; most of us are organizers; we are all communicators (in writing and speech); we are all leaders. By focusing on those skills, rather than skills that we do not have, we can meet our priorities more efficiently and more excellently.

4. Still More Boundaries: Seasons of Life

Yesterday I described our first “priority purge.” Our next “priority purge” came a few years later when we had two small children. God led us to attend two awesome, life-changing seminars: The Christian Homeschooling Workshop and the Advanced Homeschooling Workshop, both by Gregg Harris. From these seminars, among many other things, we learned about seasons of life.

A season of life is that time period you find yourself in based on your age, your family situation, etc. We discovered that we were not being as effective as we could be in our lives because we were trying to do things out of our season.

At that time, according to the workshop, we were in the “Business and Babies” season. We stayed there for many, many years! Yet, we continually found ourselves involved in activities that were for those of the next season. Ray was on the hospital board in our town, he was an elder in our church, we taught Bible classes at church to people three times our age. We struggled to find time to attend meetings, serve in the church thoroughly, prepare our lessons, etc., due to Ray’s heavy work schedule and our responsibilities with our young children.

We came home from those two seminars and went through another priority purging. Due to the season that we were in, we decided Ray should resign from his hospital board and elder positions. We also cut back on our teaching at church. After all, we were still in our early twenties. What business did we have telling others how to live their lives when we lacked the wisdom that we would obtain through years of experiences? Another priority purge helped us get closer to our God-given priorities for that season.

So, not only do we have built-in priorities because we have children to raise and a spouse to love and encourage, but the ages of those children and spouse further solidify our priorities, usually also based on the season of life we are in. When I had five children ten and under, I loved homeschooling and communicating so much that I wanted to write and speak about homeschooling. I saw others doing it, read others’ books, etc, and I felt that I had a lot to offer homeschoolers since I had been a teacher, had been homeschooling for several years, and had, had many experiences helping homeschoolers get started. However, learning about seasons of life helped me to see that it was not time for those things. Maybe I did have some built-in boundaries of skills (speaking, writing, and communicating). Maybe I did have the motivation due to my love for homeschooling. However, the other built-in boundaries of so many young children, my season of life, the lack of experience for myself, etc., showed me that it was not the right time for that priority of communicating with larger groups of people yet.

5. More Boundaries Again: Natural Seasons

And taking the whole built-in boundaries concept one step further, we find that even natural seasons of life (winter, spring, summer, and fall)–when combined with the built-in priorities of people, talents, and life seasons–help us determine our priorities.

Priorities and schedules are fluid, not stagnant. They change constantly, especially when we have young children. For example, in the fall, we might have a newborn baby who nurses and sleeps, giving us a lot of time to school the kids, do the housework, minister to other women, etc. However, two natural seasons later, in the spring, that same sleeping infant is a curious, crawling toddler, altering our schedule and, in effect, our priorities! Suddenly, we do not have the long hours to read around the table with everyone in attendance. If we still have the priority of reading together, we may have to limit it, prioritize the training of that toddler, or read in groups so someone is available to look after the little tyke. A natural season of life affects our priorities, and we have to decide how to handle it, what our priority will be for that season, etc.

Each year, new priorities pop up. Maybe you haven’t had a new reader for three years, and now your “caboose” needs daily reading instruction, time that had formally been given to other things. A natural season (i.e. a child in first or second grade) influences your prioritizing.

Yes, new priorities will emerge, but the decision to make something a priority and delete something else should be a conscious decision, not a decision that is made for you by outside forces.

The post 5 Influences to Determine Your Priorities appeared first on Character Ink.

We are two weeks into my grocery fast (see the intro post here), and I already have unique situations and “special” circumstances to navigate. But like I always told my kids as I was raising them to do what they had to do every single day: “Every day is special, but every day can’t be a special day!” In other words, when we look at everything that comes up as an occasion to skip our school plan, not do our cleaning, or eat sweet treats, we will not be successful.

The same is true with my grocery fast. I could easily say a week or so in that I can’t keep it because we’re having movie night with the kids; I need to spend more because some of the kids are coming for Sunday dinner; I need to take some food to my step-mom; I need to make something for our ballroom dance; and on and on….

Or I could come up with some creative options that work for my grocery fast and for the “special” circumstances.

Below are a couple of links to products I use and love. I am an affiliate for Amazon.com. If you click on the links below I will earn a small commission. Thank you for your support of this blog!

So here were my special circumstances and solutions for the first two weeks:

1) Family Movie Night: Stone Soup!

I sent the kids a text through the family thread telling them about the grocery fast (they had been telling me for years to empty my freezers!) and that we would be having “stone soup” for the movie night. They asked what they could bring and I told them we pretty much had it covered except for regular bread (they don’t like sprouted), peanut butter, and dessert.

The older kids knew what “stone soup” meant as when they were little, in honor of the story by the same name in which villagers brought foods one at a time to add to a pot of water with a stone in it—and it “magically” became a soup, we had a tub in the freezer marked Stone Soup in which leftover meats, sauces, and veggies went into after a meal (if there wasn’t enough of these things to have as leftovers or I didn’t have another plan for them). When this tub was full, we defrosted it and made “stone soup.” They knew we were having soup made out of whatever I had in the house!

The party was a great success. Actually, for some reason, everyone said it was the best chili I had ever made. I know that this is unrelated to the grocery fast, but I was happy about that! Oh, and my daughter left her half-filled peanut butter jar, so that is one less thing to add to the list this month!

2) Food to Give Away/Take to Dance

Once a week we go eat lunch or dinner on the weekends with my step-mom. My dad died in the spring, and she has no family but us. It has been hard to continue the weekly visits after my dad’s death (many, many Saturday tears upon leaving her apartment), but I am happy to invest in her as she invested in my dad for nearly forty years. We either eat in her Independent Living cafeteria, take her out, or take food in. She has extra food credit right now in the cafe, so that part was easy. When we go, we take her things she needs, take her out to shop, stay and play games, and sometimes take her food or goodies that she doesn’t make for herself or get in the cafeteria. This was easy enough as we had lots of leftover soup, cornbread, fruit salad, and dessert from our movie party! (And she said it was the best chili she had, had in a while too!)

The next day was a ballroom dance, and I am known for bringing homemade treats or appetizers, so I didn’t want to disappoint! I had a zip-lock bag of frozen peanut butter cookie dough, the aforementioned leftover peanut butter my daughter left here, some chocolate chips from when I made Christmas fudge, and leftover holiday M and M’s. Enter “Cookie Candy Bars”! These are seriously the easiest thing to make and everybody LOVES them. You just press the dough into a 9×13 baking pan and bake it. Then melt chocolate chips with peanut butter and spread over cooled bars. Then crush and sprinkle M and M’s (or other candy). (See my low carb/healthy recipe for this here or the quick, sugary version here!)

3) Leftovers, Leftovers, Leftovers!

After our Christmas on December 30th, we had sooo many leftovers. I sent a bunch home with the kids, but I still had too much food left. I knew I was doing the Grocery Fast, so I was even more conscientious than I normally am with leftovers.

To start with, we didn’t make anything new for the first week. This was tough—we were getting tired of Christmas food! But we held strong (except for making new green beans every couple days!).

I added a couple of pieces of fresh fruit to the sad-looking fruit salad and brought it back to life. Ray enjoyed this as did my step-mom. (I sometimes do this when I’m near the end of a fruit salad but the dressing is still good—though I never do this with a fruit salad containing bananas. It’s just not kind to the eaters!)

By the end of the first week, we cut into shreds (with scissors) the leftover ham, turkey, and roast beef. We bagged these and labeled them “Shredded Beef With Gravy—1 Pound Fully Cooked,” “Shredded Turkey With Broth–1/2 Pound Fully Cooked,” etc. (It’s important to note the state your freezer foods are in if you freeze them in different states all the time like I do.) Looks like we’ll have more Stone Soup soon! 🙂

I usually throw out whatever sugary foods we have after a get together (that the kids don’t take home). Thinking of my grocery fast, I actually threw out all the pies except for a piece or two for me that I had saved for my eating window and several pieces I took to my step-mom for her freezer. However, I didn’t throw the cookies and candy out, I tubbed them up, labeled them, and froze them for the future. I feel like I have enough self-control with Plexus and Daily Intermittent Fasting (IF) that they will be safe there until we have an occasion to use them. (Hopefully!)

4) We Used Some Foods Up!

We used up 3 pounds of ground beef and 3 pounds of chicken breast when we cooked them for the soup on family movie night. I was more careful than usual with the meats—only used ¾ of them in the soups and tried not to make more soup than we could use that night, give to my step-mom, send some with our soup fiend son, and eat a meal or two of it the next week. (As a matter of fact, when Ray came home from work and saw the beef chili, he said, “Is that going to be enough?” He has NEVER said that before!! And we did use it all after we sent some home with the aforementioned son and step-mom.)

But I rationed the meat and kept out ¼ of the ground beef and ¼ of the chicken for us to make another meal out of it for ourselves. I normally would have used it all and just made the soups meatier. That was a win on rationing AND using foods up!

I had eight boxes of various types of crackers! I had bought them when our son came home from his internship, a little at a time, and Ray and I don’t really eat crackers much at all and our son moved in with his brother—so there they were. I’m happy to report that we used two of them on soup night with the fam! (I put out leftover cheese spread from Christmas as well.)

For Sunday afternoon football, I was still in my fasted state, so Ray gathered up all the leftover frozen appetizers from our family Christmas Eve party and baked them all in the oven. This was a win because we often have little zipper bags of different frozen appetizers after family parties—so purposely using these rather than making nacho bar, etc., like we often would, was great! (I don’t watch football anyway, so I went to my room and read while they ate!)

And….we used some frozen veggies! Since starting Daily IF, I have become a bit of a food snob. I really like to make Ray fresh stir fried veggies or roasted veggies, and I really love my fresh green beans. I want to get to the bottom of all of these bags of frozen vegetables, so this was a start!

5) I Only Spent $35 the First Two Weeks!

I made it two weeks without much expense! Yay me! I went to Sam’s and bought apples, oranges, fresh green beans, and Romaine lettuce. I was super excited about that!

However, I had another problem to face in cutting my groceries down to an average of $25 a week—I was addicted to an expensive brand of dry shampoo! I had tried the $4 bottles (several); I had tried some of the $8 bottles, but the only brand that worked with my hair color (and that I could stand the smell of!) was Matrix Biolage Waterless Clean and Recharge Dry Shampoo ($18 a bottle!). And I used at least two bottles a month. I couldn’t use 1/3 of my grocery budget during the grocery fast on dry shampoo! (I have seriously tried so many cheaper ones—and I don’t HAVE to have a certain regular shampoo, honest!) But then I saw a thread on a FB friend’s timeline about dry shampoo and someone said she had tried many of the same ones I had tried and finally found one that didn’t leave white residue and didn’t choke you with the smell—and it was half the price of my normal one. I ordered it on Amazon and loved it! I was able to cut my dry shampoo expense in half the first month of the grocery fast! (The new, less expensive, but still wonderful one is Eva NYC Freshen Up Dry Shampoo.)

So that was my $35 for two weeks of groceries—apples, oranges, green beans, lettuce, and dry shampoo! Oh, and ice…have to have my ice every day for my water since I pretty much only drink water and Plexus Slim—and I drink a lot of water!

It’s been a great two weeks! I can’t say that I feel like my freezers, fridges, and cabinets are going down quickly—but I know they will as I stick to the plan!

P.S. How do you stop buying so many groceries and use up what you have? Any good leftover tricks?

The post My Eight Week Grocery “Fast” – Weeks 1 and 2 appeared first on Character Ink.

I am not big on “New Year’s Resolutions since 93% of resolutions are thrown out by the end of January each year. I have kept resolutions before—doing something every day, like reading aloud to my kids or doing a daily cleaning routine, etc. (I prefer to make life changes a little at a time, like monthly, as described in my Productivity Series.)

However, I decided over Christmas that my freezers and cupboards HAD to be reduced. My husband and I raised seven kids for thirty-four years, twenty-five of those years on one income. I prepped, cooked, organized, couponed, sale-shopped, and cleaned like a madwoman during those years in order to stay on budget and “get it all done.” I had one deep freeze that was collecting ingredients for my next freezer cooking day and another was filled with already-made mega cooking meals. My cupboards were the same.

We became empty-nesters eighteen months ago, and while my shopping and cooking have radically changed over the past several years as kids have “left the nest,” I still haven’t learned how to shop or prepare food for two (much less for two people who eat one meal and a snack a day through Daily Intermittent Fasting (IF)—that is just not much food compared to feeding nine people three times a day!). We are getting increasingly frustrated by our inability to grab what we want or need out the pantry, and my beautiful freezers are hopelessly stuffed. So…..grocery fast it is.

I had to narrow the parameters for what this would look like, not just because I like rules and creating systems, but also because I wanted the grocery fast to be effective. If I fasted from buying canned goods only, I could just buy more fresh veggies and still not empty my pantry any. If I fasted from buying perishables only, I could still not guarantee that I would use all of the frozen meat in my deep freeze. It needed to be significant and clear in order to be effective.

So…..here were my “rules”:

1) Cut Weekly Groceries to $25 a Week

For two months, I would cut my grocery spending down from whatever it currently was (which used to be $150 a week before IF simply because we have the kids over a lot AND I made everything low carb and from scratch with expensive ingredients, etc.). I haven’t really established my new grocery budget with IF, but I’m thinking that with 7 meals a week plus 7-14 snacks/desserts per week (per person) and having “parties” with the kids often, I should be able to settle in at $100 a week for all groceries and cleaning (I buy bare minimum cleaning supplies), and toiletries.

2) Buy Only What We Absolutely Need

I knew this would be tough because I NEED fresh green beans and bananas every week. I NEED to make fresh stir fry two nights a week. I NEED to have Romaine lettuce and Romano cheese for salads most days. Or do I?

I decided that I would focus on what we really needed in order to survive…not what I saw as “needs.” Toilet paper, deodorant, toothpaste lettuce, eggs, and apples to start with. Then if I had leftover money, I would buy fresh veggies for stir frying and my favorite salad cheese. (I have tons of frozen veggies I can stir fry and bags of shredded cheese in the freezer!)

3) Make What We Have!

Not making what we already have in the freezers and pantries is what got us into this position to begin with. Keeping the grocery dollars low each week will force me to use what we have for sure. But I also needed to make what we have as much as possible without adding too much to it. In other words, I need to make what we have without adding this veggie or that spice or this sauce to the shopping list. I actually think this will be fun! 🙂

4) Figure Out Ways to Party With the Kids for Little Money!

The kids are all really great about contributing to family parties. However, Ray and I usually make the main entrée, provide the drinks, etc. I will keep you posted on how this goes for us (our first “party” for all will be next week’s Family Movie Night!). One way I know I can make this work is to have the kids bring very specific side dishes (i.e. cornbread for the soup beans as opposed to anything savory or anything sweet, etc.).

5) Make Combination Dishes

For many years we lived on casseroles and combination dishes, using meat as more of a condiment than the main dish. This approach reduces per person meat consumption from 4 to 6 ounces each to 2 or 3 ounces each. But now we are spoiled! We love our meat and potatoes or meat and stir fries or meat and salads. However, I told Ray that I am excited to make tuna casserole and chicken spaghetti again! The point is that we have to cook and eat out of every shelf, refrigerator, and freezer in order to make a dent in our stash!

I will think of more money-saving/stock-depleting approaches as I continue over the next couple of months—and I will share them with you in posts that will be called Grocery Fast Week One and Two, etc. I hope you will join me! And if you have any suggestions for me, please write to me! I’d love more ideas!

P.S. Have you ever gone on a grocery “fast”? If so, what tips helped you get through on budget?

The post How I Planned a Grocery “Fast” for Two Months! appeared first on Character Ink.

When we watch diligence webinars or attend diligence workshops, we have a tendency to think in terms of how we can teach our kids to be more diligent.

I have written and spoke about this extensively….check out…..

• Children & Chores: Creating A Balance of Independent Work Vs. Working With You
• Wondering Wednesday: Children & Chores
• Age-Appropriate Chore Posters [download]
• Independent Work Lists [download]

But just like everything else that we want to help our children develop, diligence must first be in us!

I have spent the past three decades trying to become more efficient, more organized, more productive….and, yes, more diligent.

I have learned some benchmarks to test my own diligence. I have also learned some tricks to become more diligent—just a few here and there!

Guess what? The better we get at working in our homes…the more diligent we become….the more thorough and organized we are….the better our homes run.

True story.

So check out my video below and consider what diligence changes you can make this summer!

Save

The post How to Become an Amazingly Diligent Mom! appeared first on Character Ink.

Then you get home and start to make the charts, create the checklists, and hold the family meeting…and you suddenly have questions. A lot of questions….

Wowsie, I remember those days twenty-five and thirty years ago…like yesterday. (I’m so grateful that I remember so many happy memories associated with our thirty-two years of homeschooling!)

Well, this post is for those times. I recently did a 32 Scheduling Tips From 32 Years of Homeschooling presentation. Afterwards, I received emails and FB messages with those nagging questions that mamas get when they are going home and trying to implement something they just learned…

So consider this the follow up to the speaker that you heard and got so excited about. We all need that sometimes! 🙂

Love and hope,
Donna

P.S. Find other chore podcasts here.

The post Q&A Morning Routines, Chores & More! appeared first on Character Ink.

Pin these Chores for Elementary Children on Pinterest!

Click here for colorful, printable chore lists for toddlers through tweens.

If you want more chores, efficiency, and organization help, check out the podcast episodes listed here.

The post Age Appropriate Chores for Elementary Ages appeared first on Character Ink.

Pin these Chores for Kindergarteners on Pinterest!

Click here for colorful, printable chore lists for toddlers through tweens.

If you want more chores, efficiency, and organization help, check out the podcast episodes listed here.

The post Age Appropriate Chores for Kindergarteners appeared first on Character Ink.

Pin these Chores for Preschoolers on Pinterest!

Click here for colorful, printable chore lists for toddlers through tweens.

If you want more chores, efficiency, and organization help, check out the podcast episodes listed here.

The post Age Appropriate Chores for Preschoolers appeared first on Character Ink.

Pin this chore list on Pinterest!

Click here to buy colorful, printable chore lists for toddlers through tweens.

If you want more chores, efficiency, and organization help, check out the podcast episodes listed here.

The post Age Appropriate Chores for Toddlers appeared first on Character Ink.

I recently looked up top resolutions for the new year—and saw some interesting lists. They were the typical ones you would expect—lose weight, exercise, get out of debt, eat more healthfully, spend time with family, etc.

But what struck me most was the recurring use of the word MORE.

• Exercise MORE

• Spend MORE time with family

• Get MORE organized

• Pay off MORE bills

• Cook MORE healthy foods

What exactly does a resolution that has the word MORE in it even mean?

MORE than what? By what measuring stick? How will you know when you have achieved it?

Resolutions that contain the word MORE will likely not be realized simply because they are too general, too abstract, too non-checkable—if that were a word.

Any change—be it a New Year’s resolution or a beginning of the school year plan or a new family schedule must be quantitative in order to be met. In other words, there has to be some sort of method by which the resolver can see whether or not the resolution, plan, habit, or schedule has been met.

My husband and I are problem solvers—both of us. Sometimes we butt heads because he has an idea to solve a problem at the same time that I have another, albeit superior, idea. Smile… More often than not, though, the fact that we are both problem solvers has not been a negative but rather an amazing way to propel us to accomplish goals for our family.

In our problem solving, we have had to be extremely specific in what the steps to success were—no use of the words MORE, better, less, fewer etc.

Rather than saying that we would read the Bible or worship with the kids MORE, we said that we would have devotions more often than we didn’t. (This was one of our favorite benchmarks for many good things with our kids through the year–more often than not!)

Rather than saying that Ray would meet with our boys MORE to mentor them, we said that he would meet once a week per boy—or once a month per boy—or whatever the goal was.

Rather than saying that I would read with a new reader MORE, I said that I would read two times a day with the new reader—right after breakfast while the olders cleaned the kitchen and right before I began dinner preparations (with another older!).

The other thing we have found in our quest to be problem solvers is that we can’t solve too many problems all at the same time! In our parenting seminar, Raising Kids With Character,” we encourage parents to choose one or two things from each session that really spoke to them—one or two things that they want to implement or utilize right away in their homes. This keeps parents who have just sat through six hours of parenting lectures from being so overwhelmed that they are unable to implement any of the tips and strategies.

Throughout our thirty-one years of parenting, we have tried to tackle one problem or aspect of our family that needed changed per week (and later one per month or so). We sat down together and decided what one thing we would work on—and exactly how we would work on it (without using those taboo words of MORE, better, etc.!).

Sometimes we want lots of changes immediately! We are so quick to see the areas in our family that need work—and maybe there are many areas that we need to work on (we could always think of many!)….but if we set out to change everything all at one time, we will seldom change anything.

If you have a dozen things you would like to work on this year, consider doing one per month—and really dedicate a month to making that one thing happen…with a plan of attack that is measurable and concrete and doable. Then when that one is realized, add another the following month and so on.

Too many resolutions and too many vague words are both enemies of real change and problem solving. So try to make FEWER resolutions and keep them BETTER!  🙂

The post Why a Resolution With the Word MORE in It Will Likely Not Be Met appeared first on Character Ink.