One of the great things about teaching children in a homeschool or one-on-one setting is that we can easily see when readiness simply isn’t there. And one of the greatest benefits is that we can wait for the child’s readiness to be there before moving on. (Sweet babies…let’s be patient with them!)

Patience is often hard for a homeschooling mom. We are prone to comparisons. We are prone to worry. We are prone to low self confidence when our kids aren’t learning quickly.

But we don’t have to simply sit by and “wait.” There are things we can do to help prepare our kids to learn, especially in the area of phonics and early reading. That is what this podcast I did a few years ago is all about–being proactive while we wait for “reading readiness.” (Be sure to print off and use the outline included!)

So enjoy these days without pressure to achieve…..and watch your little one develop the readiness that is needed to tackle the hard work of learning to read (later!)…. 🙂  

Click HERE to download the handout!

Love and hope,

Donna

The post Preparing a Child to Learn to Read (Podcast and More!) appeared first on Character Ink.

I won’t tell you how many weeks it is til school starts for our “Half-Day Homeschool” or our “Cottage Classes, but we all know how fast summer goes by! I hope you are enjoying your summer break–and getting some good school planning in here and there. To help with the latter, I would like to gift you my Think Fast Grammar Quiz book with detailed answer keys!

One of the ways that I teach writing is by helping students memorize the types of words that they will need to use with commas, semicolons, etc., and the types of words that they will need to use for various expressions (exceptions, giving more info, showing examples, elaborating, etc.).

I teach these to my students through rhymes, songs, jingles, mnemonics, check sentences, and more…..and then they are quizzed on them every week in order to learn them at a snap of their fingers.

This quiz booklet is that.

Here is how our store describes it:

“In this document, you will find Character Ink Press’ (CI) original Think Fast Grammar Quiz (Beginner’s Level and Advanced Level) and page after page of answers divided by category.

In testing my books, I have learned the importance of two things:

(1) Recitation/memorization of the parts of speech that are constants AND

(2) Teaching HOW to use these parts of speech (via my Checklist Challenge—intro packet available HERE).

This free 26 page document will help you with the former—teaching, memorizing, and quizzing the constant parts of speech (those with definite lists).

The quizzes test students (or give practice in) prepositions; Be, a Helper, Link (BHL) verbs, coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS), interjections, subordinators, and conjunctive adverbs. These are taught in our books (and in the Answer Key) through rhymes, jingles, songs, and mnemonics.

The lengthy Answer Key for these quizzes is divided by categories—even breaking prepositions down to ones taught with a Preposition Practice Pal, with synonyms and antonyms, with compound words, with Check Sentences, and by initial letters. You will not find a more thorough list of these parts of speech anywhere—especially lists with the tricks and tips that CI materials provide.”

Regardless of the grammar, usage, or writing program that you use, the Think Fast Quiz and Answer Key booklet can be a huge help to you. Let me know what you think—and if you need help implementing it.”

Click on the picture below to go to the store—and use your freebie code QUIZFREEJULY (hurry! It’s free only until August 1st, 2018)!

Think fast,

Donna

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The post FREEBIE–Think Fast Grammar Quiz Packet and Answer Keys! appeared first on Character Ink.

Welcome to another Wondering Wednesday A/V. Today’s episode is a V—video!

In this video, I show parents how to use our new “Consequence Pies” ebook/download (one of last month’s freebies!). However, if you do not have the Consequence Pies product, stay with me!

The methodology in this download (available here at our store) can be used with or without the product, and I explain that protocol in this video! (Plus, you could make your own pies easily after watching the video.)

The idea behind the Consequence Pies is to take control of negative routine behaviors (as opposed to one of the Four D’s—check out that product here) that are developing or that have developed by putting the outcome back in your child’s hands—while giving grace and “chances” as needed.

Watch the first part closely—there are things that must be done on the parents’ part before using this approach: training, rewarding, follow through, and more. But once all of that is done, it is time for the child to decide “yes, I am going to do my homework every day before computer time” or “yes, I am going to take out the trash like I am supposed to every day”—or suffer consequences (that he chooses ahead of time) for not following through on that routine behavior that I have been taught.

Consequence Pies can be used to help your children learn to develop character in routine behaviors in the areas of responsibility, thoroughness, diligence, prioritizing, resourcefulness, cleanliness, organization, follow through, and more. They make character training black and white (as opposed to the gray method of “I told you no tv until your extra reading is done” or “Why do you always forget to take the trash down?”).

Furthermore,this protocol puts the choice to follow through on the positive behavior (or not to follow through) back onto the child. He marks the pie pieces if he decides not to comply. No questions. No grayness. Lastly, it offers grace and “chances” as the child is learning the behavior.
 

Watch this video on YouTube

Subscribe to us on YouTube!

The post Video: Using The Consequence Pies appeared first on Character Ink.

Which came first–the chicken or the egg? Or which comes first–the body or the opening paragraph? I have some strong opinions about this that I answer in today’s blog video/live class! 🙂 Additionally, this post contains a video lesson on creating opening and closing paragraphs for research reports. I teach my students (and I use this approach in my books) that there are over a dozen ways to create an opening paragraph. (See idea list below.) I also teach them that in upper level writing, they should be very specific in their opening and closing paragraphs. No more summarizing here and there (or restating everything you say in the paper!). I teach them HOW to write the various opening and closing types so that they can use them in their writing. Watch today’s video and follow along with a few pages of the text we used. (Jump Start II–coming out this month!)

Here are some of the opening/closing paragraph types that I teach and include in my publications.

(Many of them have templates that students use for outlining–sort of fill-in-the-blank outlines that are easy for students to fill in and write from!)

1) Statistics

2) Story

3) Dialogue

4) Quote

5) Verse

6) Newspaper report

7) Informative

8) Summary

9) Song

10) Rhyme/Poetry

Download the portion of the lesson containing this teaching and watch the video to learn more! (P.S. There’s a Prepositional Phrase Sentence Opener lesson near the of the video too!) And check out MC sample lessons (at the end of this blog post) for more opening and closing paragraph information!

P.S. If you are stuck teaching prepositions, or your students only know a token 30 (of the 230+), check out my Preposition Packet!

Click below to see free two-week samples of all of my Meaningful Composition books!

The post Opening and Closing Paragraph Instruction for Research Reports appeared first on Character Ink.

I have written seventy-five books in the past fifteen years—averaging 800 pages a book. The first forty were completely new books, and the next thirty-five have been re-writes and new books taken out of the original forty (i.e. half of the MC lessons came out of Character Quality Language Arts, for instance). But it has been a long journey nonetheless.

But it has been nothing in comparison to the difficulty, “how do I do this?” “out of my element completely” novel writing of this mere two hundred page young adult dystopian thriller that Joshua and I have written together.

In a nutshell, novel writing is hard work. Story writing is hard work. And not a natural skill by any means.

That is why I am so excited about our Twice-Told Tale lessons (called Piggyback Stories in CQLA). They make story writing pain-free (virtually) by starting out with a plot that students build off of.

They are incredibly fun for students, and they are my most Directed Writing Approach-infused lessons to date. (And all of my books are extremely Directed Writing Approach-focused!)

You can find some of these lessons in the list below….but here is a taste of a lesson I taught with one of them. Not for the faint of heart—but very doable for students. I love that!

Look for more of these lessons here:

• MC 5 II: Weeks 9 and 10—Piggy Back Tale of Country Mouse, City Mouse
• MC 6 I: Weeks 10 and 11–Piggy Back Story of Prodigal Son
• MC 7 I: Weeks 10 and 11–Piggy Back Story of The Prince and the Pauper
• MC 7 II: Weeks 2 and 3–Piggy Back Story of the Ugly Duckling
• MC 9 I: Weeks 10 and 11–Twice Told Tale Jungle Book
• MC 9 II: Weeks 11 and 12—Twice Told Tale Martin Avdeitch
• MC 9 II: Weeks 13 and 14—Twice Told Tale Gift of the Magi
• Write On, Mowgli—Level IV
• Write On, Peter Pan V (coming February 15th!)
• Write On, Belle and Beast V (in the video…coming mid February!)

Check out “Twice Told Tales” at our store below! 

(Also available at CurrClick, Teachers Pay Teachers, and Teachers Notebook!)

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The post Twice Told Tales: Story Writing Curriculum appeared first on Character Ink.

Click to watch!

I have loved teaching reading again! And I have loved creating products to use for letter recognition and sounds/letter recognition. It is so fun to work with younger children again…and makes me anxious to teach my grandkids to read (or help teach them!).

(Click to preview the curriculum below 🙂 )

I have also loved finding a new resource for teaching reading—This Reading Mama. This inexpensive phonics program is better than any of the expensive ones I’ve seen through the years (except Play ‘n Talk, which isn’t available any more AND is not as great on practice pages and activities as this one is).  Seriously, don’t let the ten bucks make you think it’s not great…because it is! 🙂 She has word family books for all five vowels (for short vowels) for beginning readers…plus tons of other great products.

Click here or on the picture below to get it!

I recommend you subscribe to her blog to get updates of all of her products and her freebies too!

For more reading help, check out this podcast, and  a video I recently made!

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The post This Reading Mama Phonics Program & More appeared first on Character Ink.

Until this fall. Seventeen years ago today we lost our last child, a little girl we named Carly Grace at twenty-one weeks gestation during an intrauterine blood transfusion. The details are in the free verse poem that I wrote seventeen years ago this winter.

I don’t have answers for mamas who are grieving such devastating losses. But I do know this…writing this poem, reading it over and over through the years, talking about Carly with family and friends (especially our children), and thinking about her really have helped me.

So if you are suffering a current loss or a loss from long ago, don’t be afraid to share it. Don’t be afraid to talk. Don’t be afraid to tell that it hurts like mad. Because it does.

There are so many of us out there who have lost babies—through miscarriage and/or stillbirth. Others of us have had our fertility plucked from us (literally) before we were ready. And we understand.

I pray that “My Journey With Grief” will help you in some way.

Love and hope,
Donna

P.S. Scroll all the way to the bottom as there is a printable version that creates a 5 x 7 folded booklet that can easily be printed off.

My Journey With Grief

Unbelievable…
After nearly a month, it’s still unbelievable.
I never dreamed I could lose so much in one short weekend.
The nurses called “the week-end from hell.”
I wanted to say, “No. It may seem that way, but whatever happens, God is still in control…”
But I couldn’t.

I knew the chances of the baby getting sick were great—
The antibodies were high and she was positive for all three of them…
Still…I never, ever thought she would die.
Even when here transfusion began—
I thought, “In fifteen minutes or so she’ll be better–until next week’s transfusion…”
I was even counting the short weeks until she could be born–prematurely–yes–but alive.

The clock ticked away so quickly–I wanted it to stop..
An hour without getting into the cord–then another half an hour…
By this time, everyone in the room knew that with each unsuccessful jab of the needle into the cord, she was dying..
Still–I hoped….and prayed.
Two hours passed—
The doctor said we needed a miracle now…
Her little heart that had been beating so quickly was slowing down…
Her flailing arms became motionless on the little black and white screen.

Then suddenly the doctor said what all eight of us in the high risk maternity room knew…”I’m sorry–her heart has stopped beating.”
We knew that, of course, for we had watched her die over the last two and a half hours—
But those words pronounced finality.

Tears…
Little did I know how many tears a mother could cry…
Tears of grief for our little baby that in twenty-one weeks
I had grown to love more than anyone would think possible.
Tears of disappointment for the joys we could never know in raising her and watching her grow.
Tears of longing for her to live…longing for this whole afternoon to just be a bad, horrible dream…longing for her to be alive…to kick…to squirm.
Tears…millions and millions of them…on the day she died…and for years to come.

Labor…thirty-six to seventy-two hours was the estimated time it would take for our precious baby to be born…
Slow, long labor–to keep my scarred uterus from rupturing.
We held each other into the night–awaiting her arrival. Wait…
One last check—“Could you listen for the heartbeat again? I thought I felt her move…”
The doctor and nurse knew the truth…
I did too.
But what if? What if she really hadn’t bled to death?
What if she were somehow still alive?
No heartbeat was found—
The kind nurse wheeled in the ultra-sound machine…
Lifeless–she lay in my womb.

How could this happen?
Intra-uterine blood transfusions have a 98% success rate–this was supposed to save her life–not take it.
How? Why??
I drove hours to get one of the best doctors that can be found…
How???
I know in my heart that shew as too sick to live more than a couple more days…
But that would have been two more days to love her.

Labor was slow–as I expected after seven c-sections.
At twenty-one weeks pregnant, my body was not prepared to release this little life.
We waited…and waited…no dilation followed no dilation.
I was so thankful that I was physically numb…the emotional pain was hard enough without feeling each relentless contraction.

The monitor showed very little time between each contraction…ten seconds…maybe twenty…then another contraction would begin.
It would seem with almost constant contracting, my uterus would begin to open–but no…
Maybe I just didn’t want to let her go.

Twenty-four hours passed with no change in my cervix…
With each passing hour, my fever rose a little higher…
100.4—100.8—101.1—102.5…
“Could this mean my uterus has ruptured?”
I was assured it couldn’t…
When a uterus ruptures, a person begins bleeding–severely…
My blood pressure remained normal.

Bright lights–people everywhere.
I had just about resigned myself to dying in the night from some unknown infection, and was drifting off to sleep.
My perinatologist came into the room..
I knew right away it was a bad sign.
I had been monitored, since they began labor, by a kind, young obstetrician…
When they brought in my specialist–it could only be bad news.

Hadn’t I had enough bad news for one weekend?
…for one month?
…for one year?
He felt my uterus…
It had gone down early that evening…
Rush–rush…
The ultrasound showed what he already knew just by feeling my flattened womb…
It was ruptured.

Everything I had ever read about a ruptured uterus came into my mind all at once…
Bleeding…lots of it…very often to death.
How could my uterus have ruptured when she weighed less than one pound?
Will I die?
What about Ray and the kids?

Preparations were made quickly…
Blood–lots of it–was secured….
The operating room was readied…
Extra doctors were there to assist.
Twenty-five minutes later I was being wheeled out of my room, down to surgery…beside intensive care.

We hugged…we cried…kissed…prayed…
“Tell the kids I love them so much…”
“And if I don’t make it, please find someone who will love them almost as much as I do…”
I left him standing there outside the door–crying and praying…
Bright lights again…
I would soon lose something else I loved very much—the gift of fertility.

Ray waited and waited….
After one hour, a nurse brought her to Ray—
Carly Grace Reish…
Lifeless and tiny…
Ray held her and cried…
Eleven ounces and ten inches long…
She was like our daughters’ smallest dolls…
Except she was real—
She was ours—
and she was dead.

Good news…

The doctor was working on the rupture…
Only one unit of blood was needed so far…
He might be able to save the uterus.
Ray waited some more…
Phone calls were made and prayers were being sent heavenward.
How much longer???
It was only supposed to take an hour and a half.

More waiting…
Ray called down to the surgical floor…
“She’s still in sugery….”
No calm words of assurance…just that fact.
Three hours passed…
Same answer.
Finally, the specialist came in…
“They’re finishing up. She’s okay.”
It was going on four hours since I left my room.

“She got a lot of good out of that uterus,” the doctor explained, as he told Ray about the placenta embedded into the uterine wall…
A hysterectomy was the only way to stop the severe bleeding.
Placenta accrete?
Another rare condition that often leads to death…
How could that happen, too?

I came out of the anesthetic slowly…
I was reminded once again of why I always choose an epidural over a general…
“Was I alive?”
“Did I bleed to death?”
“Was it over?”
“Did they save my uterus?”
“Where’s the baby?”
I was alive…I hadn’t bled to death…though I practically had all new blood…
It was over…and my uterus was gone…
And yes, the baby was still dead.

Back to my room—I lay there…
Two IV’s, a catheter, stomach tube, monitors…
Thirst overtook me…
No drinking for a while…
Little did I know that meant thirty hours.
It felt nothing like the happy C-sections I had had—
Physically OR emotionally.

A few hours after surgery—it was time…
Neither my body, nor my heart felt ready to see and hold me new baby…but the kids were on their way down to see her…and me….I had to get ready.
Ray had already rocked her in the wee hours of the night…
Crying for her and praying for me.
It was my turn to see and hold the little girl will we never know.

My hands were too swollen to feel her sweet skin well…
My mind was in a fog—partially from the anesthetic and partially from grief.
I held her carefully….
She was so small—I guess I was afraid I’d hurt her.
I told her I loved her and that I wanted her so badly…
I know she couldn’t hear me, but I had to say it anyway—over and over.
I rubbed her soft cheeks as well as I could with my clumsy, swollen fingers…I touched her little pug nose and rose-bud lips…
She already looked exactly like her older sisters and looked when they were born—except she had to blood or baby fat…
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for her to cry or breathe.

A knock on the door let us know they were there…
The five older children were waiting in the hall to see the baby sister they had longed for…
Visions of the day we first told them about her arrival floated in my mind…
Kara cried and hugged and hugged me…
Jonathan jumped up and down exclaiming, “Thank-you, Mommy. Thank-you for getting us another baby!”
The older children hugged and kissed us…
Our home was full of joy that day.

Ray took the kids into the ‘quiet room’ to explain what happened to Mom in the night.
They knew Carly had died on Friday evening, but they didn’t know they could have lost Mom on Saturday night, as well.
They cried and cried—fearful of all the bad things that were happening. I waited in my room—knowing that seeing the girls holding their lifeless baby sister would be one of the hardest moments of my life.

The next thing I knew my room was filled with red-eyed children…
They wanted to see Mom first…to make sure I was okay.
Then Ray brought Carly in…
They held her…one at a time…tears dropping onto her little body…
I hugged each one, speaking special words individually to them—through my tears.
“You were my first baby girl…”
“We named her Carly, because we knew you wanted her to start with a C, just like you…”
“You’re going to have to keep on being my baby girl now…”
Oh, how I love these children—including Carly Grace.

By nighttime—nearly twenty-four hours after the surgery had begun, the numbness wore off and the pain set in…
The next two days were nothing like my post C-section days…
All the tubes and IV’s stayed in place…
All I could do was roll from side to side..
Everything still seemed scary—
My fever bounced around—my hemoglobin dropped—my incision came open….
My doctor and I exclaimed, almost in unison, “What could go wrong next?”

On the third day I discovered how much easier physical pain is to bear than emotional pain…
I couldn’t push the morphine button on one of my IV’s to handle all of the raging emotional waves that were washing over me…
I cried almost continually for the next three days in the hospital—waking at 3:30 in the morning to talk to Ray and cray together…
It seemed the pain would never end.

I could finally drink and eat—sit up and walk—which just gave me more places in that large room to cry.
Ray and I rehearsed over and over the whole weekend….
From losing Carly, to losing my uterus.
I always knew we had a special marriage—a deep relationship that most people never get the chance to experience…
But the week in the hospital—and everything we went through together—just magnified the closeness that we share…
“Do you want me to tell you what the doctor said after surgery again?”
“Do you want to cry together?”
“Do you want me to hold you close?”
He rarely left my room the whole week…
Even eating meals off the extra trays the nurses would bring in—just so I wouldn’t have to grieve alone.
Never in my life have I felt the love, commitment, kindness, compassion, and tenderness in our marriage as fully as I did then.
I hurt more deeply than I thought was emotionally possible…
But I was also loved by my husband—just as deeply.

Leaving the hospital was just as difficult as I expected it would be…
I draped my upper body over the little glass crib in the corner of my room and wept as I never have before…
“I always loved seeing my babies in these beds—so new—so sweet, soft and perfect.” I told the nurse.
I sat in the wheelchair, ready to be taken to the car—examining each corner of the lovely maternity room…
All perfectly decorated to bring joy to new moms who make through a high risk pregnancy with a healthy newborn baby…
That was the room I was in for seven days…
Where all of my dreams for future babies—including my precious Carly—were shattered.

My kind, “personal” nurse wheeled me to the car…
She had cried with me on Friday when Carly died—and now she was crying with me again as I left the hospital following a birth—for the last time.
She hugged and held me in the elevator as we waited…
I will never forget her kindness and compassion.
As we pulled away from the hospital, I felt overcome with emotion as the truth set in: I will never leave the hospital with a new baby again.

The first few days at home are a blur to me…
My hemoglobin was so low that being up for any period of time was impossible…
I mainly slept…and cried.
The graveside service seemed unreal…
Could that really be my last little baby in that tiny coffin?
I was glad it was just Ray, the children and I—along with our pastor and his wife…
Words of comfort were spoken—and someday they will sink in…
Right then the grief hurt so badly, it could have been a physical pain.

I’m trying to go through the motions, somewhat, of putting the pieces of our family back together…
We still have seven children who need a mother—though how I’ll ever have the emotional strength back to be the mother I once was, I do not know.
I joined the family for worship tonight…
The last couple of nights I have barely made it to the dinner table, much less to worship.
When it was Josiah’s turn to pray, he prayed that God would give us another baby girl.
When we told him that we would never get another baby girl, he prayed that God would put
Carly on the living room floor, wrapped in blankets—alive.
I said my silent “amens” for I, too, with child-like faith wanted to pray that same prayer.

Ten days after Carly died—and four days after I got out of the hospital, Ray returned to work…
I would have to bear this burden alone for twelve hours everyday.
I called him several times a day—frantic and panicked with anxiety and grief…
I needed him so badly.
Friends brought supper for weeks…
Their visits were filled with mixed emotions…
Sometimes I longed for the time to come when they would arrive—other times I feared losing control when they were here.

Anger set in as I reviewed my obstetrical history…
It read to me somewhat like a horror story…
Cephalo-pelvic disproportion resulting in C-sections…
Two failed attempts at regular births…
Development of two rh anti-bodies…
A molar pregnancy resulting in losing the baby after a few short weeks…
A D&C to remove anything left from the molar pregnancy…
Development of some obscure kel anti-body—unrelated to the rh—
A sick baby affected by the anti-bodies…
A failed intra-uterine blood transfusion resulting in Carly’s death…
A ruptured uterus…
Placenta accrete—resulting in the placenta becoming embedded in the uterine wall…
How could all of these things—most of which only occur between one-tenth of 1% and 2% of the time—happen to one woman—namely me.

I know I should feel grateful…
But I can’t.
I have seven wonderful children that I adore, but all I can think about is Carly—and the future children that I will never have.
This summer I told a friend that I had a feeling we would have ten children.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy getting them into this world, but I felt it would be worth all we had to endure.
Now that dream will never happen.

The thing I dreaded most has begun…going out.
I don’t want to see people—especially lots of them at once.
I walked into church and began to cry before I ever made it to my seat.
A mom in front of me had her new perfect baby…
Oh, how I wish I was still pregnant.
We were due at the same time.
Each Sunday we compared notes…
Now I can only cry as I see her pregnant body.

Even when your body becomes “unpregnant,” your mind and emotions do not.
It’s so hard to believe that I’m not expecting.
Everything revolves around being pregnant…
I wake up in the night with Ray’s arm draped over my abdomen and automatically think, “Oh, he’ll hurt the baby.”
I start to take an aspirin and think, “I better not, it’s not good for the baby.”
My hand goes to my stomach without thought, but my baby is no longer there…
Oh, I wish she would kick.

I went back to the doctor for a check-up…
I cried the whole way from the car to the waiting room.
I was surrounded by women with high risk pregnancies.
I know many of them are filled with fear and anxiety…
But they still have their babies.
I saw a couple of the “regulars” and just hoped they wouldn’t ask any questions.
I buried my face in Ray’s shoulder and tried not to make eye contact.
They called my name quickly; they knew I couldn’t stay out there long.
The nurses and ultra-sound technicians all hugged me…
My doctor came into the room…
He hugged me and told me how very sorry he was.
This meant more to me than I thought it would…
I know he sees many babies die in his high risk world, but he cared about me…

We put my maternity clothes away today—for good.
We took each item off the hangar and replaced it with my regular clothes…
Then we boxed them up.
I will never need them again.
I loved those clothes—truly, I did.
I never complained about being pregnant or having to wear them…
I never put off wearing them until my regular clothes were bursting…
My heart would have had enough love to wear them many more years..
But my body just didn’t cooperate.

I know the baby is gone…
I know I’ll never feel a baby kick again…
But I can’t make my mind or heart realized that.
I awake in the night, thinking I feel the baby move…
A hungry stomach is mistaken for a squirming baby…
I wouldn’t complain now if Carly kicked me in the ribs…
Really, I wouldn’t.

I went to a craft sale with my daughters today.
I had told them when I first got out of the hospital that I thought I would feel well enough by now to go…
And I did—physically.
Emotionally, I didn’t want to go at all…
Every time I saw someone I knew I wanted to hide…
Did she know? Would she ask about everything?
I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it.
At one point I looked around at the complete strangers and thought, “Why are all of these people acting so happy and Chrstimas-y?”
Don’t they know my baby died?
Can’t they see how badly my heart hurts?

Something amazing happened today…I lived.
I know that sounds strange, but I don’t feel like I’ve been living for the past six weeks, just surviving…barely.
I was in the schoolroom surrounded by all of the children.
Joshua and Kayla were laughing at each others’ grammar errors in their reports, Cami and Kara were doing their independent work, Josie and Jakie were playing on the floor, Jonathan was reading aloud to me,
When suddenly I had a piece of joy…
I wasn’t just going through the motions.
I looked around the room and realized that for a brief moment I felt just as I used to during a busy school morning—happy.

It’s happening more often now…
I cry a little less and laugh a little more.
My days are not as grief-filled as they were, but instead somewhat more life-filled.

We celebrated one of the kids’ birthdays and I enjoyed part of the day…
I played games with the kids and laughed because I wanted to laugh, not just because I should laugh to brighten their day.
It feels good to be happy some of the time…
Will I ever feel this way all of the time? Without forcing myself to try?

I just told a friend today that I was getting so much better…
I told her how I’m doing school all day…
And starting to enjoy it.
I told her how well I felt physically…
Then I came home and crashed…
Grief came washing over me so quickly—and so unexpectedly.
It hurt again just like the first couple of weeks and now I can’t quit crying…
Oh, Carly, I wish you were here.

I went four days without crying—a big accomplishment for me lately.
I thought about Carly a lot, but the huge pain wasn’t always there…
Just a tinge of longing, a moment of wishing,
Then I went back to my work.
The books all said that I would wake up one day and realize that I hadn’t cried for a while…
And realized that it didn’t hurt quite as badly as the week before…
And that’s just how it happened.

Grief is a lot like the hiccups.
I know that sounds funny, and I certainly don’t mean to sound flippant about it…
But it is.
I can be going along just fine…working, schooling, writing, reading aloud to the children, talking with a friend—whatever…
When suddenly I am overtaken by grief.
It happened again last night.
Ray wanted me to pick out an opal ring—Carly’s birthstone—for Christmas.
I saw one that I knew immediately was the one.
The second I slipped it on my finger, my heart was aching…
My eyes filled with tears…
I’d much rather have Carly than an opal ring…

We put up our Christmas decorations…
All of my thoughts centered on the fact that I was no longer pregnant.
When I’m pregnant I always think about where the baby will be developmentally by a certain time…
When we put up the tree, I was supposed to be a month or six weeks away (in my mind) from having her—
We were supposed to be singing around the tree with the children taking turns feeling here kick…
I wasn’t supposed to be able to bend over and pick up the ornaments the little kids dropped or carry heavy boxes in from the garage.
I tried to be happy for the kids…
And I was okay for a day or two—but then it hit me that I will never be pregnant or have a new baby at Christmas again.

I got a family Christmas letter from a friend today.
In it, she told about her due date and how it won’t be long after the holidays until her baby comes…
I was supposed to write that in my Christmas letter, too…
But instead I have to write about how sweet and precious our baby would have been and now it will never be…
I have to write about that whole horrible weekend that stole our baby and any future babies from us.
Her letter seemed so full of joy…
But mine will be full of grief.

I sometimes still hate going out…
I don’t mind it if I’m going somewhere where everyone knows what happened—church or family get-togethers….
But I hate to go see people I haven’t seen for a while or people who might not know that the baby died.
I’m so afraid someone is going to ask me how much longer until the baby is due or if she’s healthy or had to be transfused yet.
I sip my coat up so now one will see my non-maternity clothes…
I walk quickly—and on the other side of the store to avoid talking to some people…
It still hurts too badly to tell it all over again.

I have such mixed emotions about Christmas.
On one hand I’m surprisingly excited about it…
I love getting the children gifts, surprising them, doing special Christmas things together, singing around the tree each evening, reading Christmas stories at night…
But a part of me just can’t quit hurting.
Can I genuinely be happy on Christmas morning when my little boys jump up and down with glee and my older children and kiss me with thankfulness for the special gifts they’re receiving?
How could I not be?
But I know this same knot of grief that’s tied in the middle of my being will still be there…
Trying to steal my joy.

As I sat typing and crying my almost-seventeen-year-old son came up, hugged me, and told me he loved me…
How can I not be content with such wonderful children?
How can I not feel total oy with the precious gifts God has already given me?
I don’t understand it, but I know part of me still aches and aches—and no amount of wonderful blessings—even fun, sweet, loving children and the most wonderful husband in the world—can completely take that ache away…
Even though they try…
And I do too.

I took my grief books back to the library today…four weeks over due.
I don’t feel as much a need to have them on my headboard as I had.
I don’t pick them up every day to read and reread others’ stories and pain.
I don’t feel as swallowed up in tears and sadness as I did.
Tears still come—and the accompany dull ache in the middle of my heart—but not constantly, and not uncontrollably.
Maybe I’ll make it after all…
Maybe someday the ache will be gone.

It’s been ten weeks now…
I realized today how big and ready-to-be born Carly would be now.
Oh, if only the transfusion would have been a few weeks later—or even now…
She could have been taken early when she began bleeding.
She would have been small, I know, but we could have loved her to maturity.

People are asking less and less…
It’s so strange because I used to dread people asking how I am doing, but now it hurts that people aren’t asking…
I don’t want to talk about everything to many people, yet when no one asks how I feel, I want them to.
I’m afraid my friends—and sometimes even Ray and the kids—have forgotten about Carly.
Do they know how much I miss her?
Do they know I still want her desperately?
Do they know that even when I am laughing on the outside, I am often crying on the inside?

It’s been eight days since I’ve truly grieved—that is cried until my whole body hurts…
Now I often become angry instead of crying.
I know that’s not good, and I really don’t want to, but I often just feel mad…
Not at God, or Ray, or the kids—or anyone in particular—just upset with the world.
Why can’t I have more babies?
Why can’t I have Carly?
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning angry…
And I go to bed the same way that night.
I lose my temper easily and become upset with the children over the silliest things.
I get mad at Ray over nothing…
And have no tolerance for other people’s “petty” problems…
I think it’s easier on everyone if I just cry…

Every time I feel like I’m starting to accept the way things are, something interferes with my acceptance.
I’ve been doing fairly well with the holidays approaching…
I’ve been baking with the girls, reading the book of Matthew to the kids, learning new carols as a family, wrapping gifts together and watching Christmas videos, sharing Christmas stories each night before bed.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, Josiah announced that the only thing he wants for Christmas is a baby sister.
I want to shout that a baby girl is all I want for Christmas too…
Not any baby girl—but our own precious Carly.

I had to go teach a workshop to some homeschooling moms on “family unity” and I made it through…
Before and after the meeting it seemed that everyone was talking about having babies…
Several of the moms are expecting or just had babies, so it wasn’t an easy night.
I felt drained and overwhelmed when the evening was over.
I wanted to do it…
I wanted to help other families in any way I could.
I think more than helping them, it helped me to prepare my presentation…
And focus on my family just the way it is—and the way it will be now…
And the important job I have to do in raising the children I have.

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This week’s Wondering Wednesday is a video in which I teach how to use my Checklist Challenge. Whether you are a CI curriculum user (Character Quality Language Arts, Meaningful Composition, or Write On!) or not, if you are a teacher who longs to merge grammar with writing (as it should be!), this video will give you tips and ideas that you can begin incorporating immediately.

The store description of the Checklist Challenge Packet is given below. This text will give you some ideas on what you can expect to learn in this week’s Wondering Wednesday!

How to Complete the Checklist Challenge—Level I is a downloadable e-book that walks students (and teachers!) through the first three-fourths of Donna’s effective Checklist Challenge. The Checklist Challenge is a challenging checklist of tasks that help students go through their writing, one task at a time, and revise, edit, add to, embellish, and improve.

The Checklist Challenge has the following characteristics/benefits:

 (1) Each task is given separately (i.e. not just a big master list with no explanation). The tasks are explained and samples are provided.

 (2) The checklist has check boxes (one per paragraph) for each essay/report/story that you can customize to a certain project. It is clear that a paper has four paragraphs, so most of the task should be done four times—once per paragraph.

(3) The tasks are skills learned in grammar. Once a child learns how to use quotations, he should practice them immediately by putting them in his writing. The Checklist Challenge marries grammar and writing in a way that other programs do not.

 (4) Coding instructions are given so that a student can be taught to code his additions and revisions for easy teacher-grading.
And so much more.

This thirty-four page document has multiple YouTube videos related to it, so go check out Character Ink’s YouTube channel for help in utilizing this fantastic writing tool.

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The post [Video] How To Use the Checklist Challenge appeared first on Character Ink.

Aboard, about, above. Along, among, around….

Whether your kids sing them, recite them, chant them, rap them, or write them…prepositions are important.

I learned them in chant-like form when I was in school. However, I never knew WHY I needed to learn them.

My newest downloadable product will teach kids prepositions—in a way that focuses on the WHY, that is, what prepositions really do!

Before you get lost in the product description, click on the video to see me teaching about this amazing product:

Our kids (and we!) need to learn prepositions for a few important reasons:

(1) They are the beginning of prepositional phrases

(2) Prepositional phrases can be mentally eliminated from a sentence in order to get to the bare bones of the sentence…since the sentence’s main subject and main verb are not usually found in prepositional phrases

(3) Prepositional phrases are good to use as openers—especially lengthy ones—as they vary sentence structure and rhythm.

I’m all about songs, jingles, rhymes, recitation, and mnemonics for learning parts of speech (and really anything).

However, when prepositions are learned in songs or recitations, the real reasons for prepositions are overlooked. (Not to mention that they learn about thirty of the over two hundred prepositions….not enough memorized preps to adequately recognize them in sentences and use them for sentence openers!)

That is, students can chant a long list of words, but they do not know how to use them.

Enter my Preposition Practice Packet! I use tricks. I use check sentences. I even use toys (“Preposition Practice Pals”!) to teach prepositions (and practice them).

But all of the methods within this Preposition Practice Packet have one thing in common: they focus on the PURPOSE of the preposition—to show spatial relationships or time.

This 80 page practice packet has fifteen lessons (with student assignments) introducing prepositions in a systematic order: initial letter, with the practice pal, as opposites, as synonyms, as compound words, and more.

When you use this packet, your student will learn prepositions by the boatload—but they will also learn them for their purpose.

Note: If you like the Preposition Practice Packet, you will love the Think Fast Grammar Quiz and Answer Key!

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The post Preposition Practice Packet Product Intro and Video! appeared first on Character Ink.

It is so hard to believe that May is here! With so many winding down their school year and the busyness of summer upon us, we are going to make a couple of changes at Raising Kids With Character and Character Ink Press blog for a couple of months.

During May, June, and July, we will just have two Wondering Wednesdays (first and third Wednesdays) and two Freebie Fridays (second and fourth Fridays) as far as new podcasts, videos, and free products. We will resume weekly Wondering Wednesdays and weekly Freebie Fridays in August to help everybody get started back up in the fall.

So….don’t go away…we’ll still be here. We just know that with vacations, summer sports, Bible school, and more, people don’t have as much time to listen/watch—and oftentimes school gets put on the back burner.

Stay tuned as we continue our 52 Weeks of Talking to Your Kids; add more Meaningful Composition books; reveal our new Write On books in June (Write On, Peter Pan!); and much more!

Love and hope,
Donna

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