ideas Archives - Character Ink

Christmas With College and Adult Kids: Family Unity at Christmas

Donna — Fri, 24 Nov 2017 15:00:42 +0000

Christmas with college and adult kids can easily turn into a fiasco if family members are not careful to put other people first. Selflessness is the key to family harmony at all ages—but especially with college and adult kids simply because when someone has a bad attitude or is selfish, parents really have no recourse with grown kids. (It’s not like you’re going to send a twenty-four year old to his room!)

My advice for this is not going to be the most helpful for families with grown kids THIS Christmas. But families with younger children really need to grasp the idea that whatever is happening in your home among siblings now is likely not going to magically go away when they are adults.

Of course, little spats and disagreements do not linger, but, quite frankly, selfish children become selfish adults. Kids who do not learn how to defer to siblings, parents, grandparents, and others will not just miraculously defer to those people when they are grown. So my advice to have family unity in Christmas futures: focus on character training—selflessness, deference, and more—while your children are young. Initiate traditions that teach kids to give to others. Don’t let your kids be mean to each other!

Stories and Songs on Christmas Eve

So for those with kids coming home from college or grown kids coming over for Christmas, here are some suggestions for building family unity at Christmas time:

1) Continue with past traditions that bind your family together—that special Christmas Eve story, the special cornbread stuffing, the Oreo dessert in the “blue bowl.” While some of these things might seem small, they make our families unique and give even our grown kids a sense of belonging. (See Continue Earlier Traditions and Other Traditions With All or Part of the Family.)

2) Consider having a sibling gift exchange—Once our second child got married, it was starting to get expensive for the kids to buy for every sibling and sibling-in-law, so the kids decided to draw names and just get one “medium” sized gift for the person each one drew. I thought this would detract from our family closeness, but just the opposite has happened: they sneak, surprise, trick, etc., to try to keep the person from knowing they have that sibling (or sibling-in-law). They go to great lengths to get something that is special to that person. This has made our Christmas Eve even richer.

The Family voting on the number of presents that Mom lost or will give to the wrong person this Christmas!

3) Consider getting group gifts—gift cards for the kids to do something all together after Christmas, a shared gift that can be passed from house to house, etc. (See Group Gifts post.)

4) Make kids’ favorite foods—Everybody in our family knows that Jonathan adores snickerdoodles, Kara loves Rice Krispie treats, and Lisa (our daughter-in-law) despises bananas. Find out everybody’s favorites and buy or have these. (See our free Kids’ Faves worksheet to find out what makes your kids tick!)

5) Reminisce—Our family loves to talk about Christmases past—“Remember when Mom shocked everybody by getting Josiah his first drum set?” or “Remember when Mom threw the cinnamon sticks across the room when we were making that cinnamon stick ornament?” or “Remember when Mom and Dad took us to that Christmas opera on accident and we sang everything we said the entire way home?” The kids love to talk about how many Christmas gifts I lose, give to the wrong person, etc. (See their voting picture below!) Sharing memories increases family unity!

Our High School and College Kids!

6) Do some things that you have always done—while we don’t read a half dozen Christmas stories or sing a dozen carols on Christmas Eve—we still do at least one of our favorite old stories (check out several of the stories that I will be sharing throughout the month—they are online for free!) and a couple of songs. It is hard to keep a lot of people’s attention (and not all kids-in-law are used to a two hour story and song Christmas Eve!), but even a portion of what we used to do binds our hearts together.

7) Play group games—Group games can definitely be challenging with fourteen adults, but we work hard at making sure our Christmas times with our grown kids are very special—even if it means working ahead of time to get games and activities ready for a fun-filled time together. (See Christmas Eve Games for some ideas.)

8) Make new kids (kids-in-love!) feel like a part of your family. Talk to the personally about the upcoming gatherings (as opposed to just talking to your own son or daughter). Find out what they love—and bless them with it. (See Mistletoe and Chap Stick post.)

The post Christmas With College and Adult Kids: Family Unity at Christmas appeared first on Character Ink.

40 Presentation Ideas for Cash or Gift Cards

Donna — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:39:49 +0000

This fall we took a family vacation to Florida (all fourteen of us!), so we decided beforehand that due to finances and time to shop (we returned a few days before Thanksgiving), we would give our kids gift cards for Christmas rather than presents (except for our Christmas Eve Plastic Wrap Prize Ball and Grab Bags). As it turns out, my dad was very sick and in the hospital for two weeks, and I was completely tied up between him and working/writing/teaching that I didn’t have a chance to do any Christmas shopping until mid-December, so we were glad we had made that decision early on. (If you’ve read about our plastic wrap prizes and grab bags, you will know that those require some shopping and planning too!)

A question was posed on a Facebook group recently about how to present gifts of cash or gift cards. Many ideas were shared, plus we have many of our own, so I thought I would share some of these in this post, along with a few other tips.

First of all, I use something similar to our Kids’ Fave pages to find out what things my kids would like the most. Additionally, if I am going to be giving them a larger gift card (I often do for a birthday), I ask them specifically what they would shop for if they had a card. For example, one daughter-in-law is going to be buying some new clothes for student teaching, so she wanted Kohls’ gift cards; another daughter wants to get new running shoes; a son is building up his tool supply, so he wanted Sears. I have always thought it was important to see what the kids want, or in the case of most young adults, need at that time.

Now for the ideas of presentation. Here are some for cash and/or gift cards:

1) Here is the one I am doing with their gift cards this year: I’m taping (or non permanent sticky note type of tape) each of my kids’ gift cards to their favorite of something. Like my daughter-in-law collects snow men picture books, so I’m taping one of hers to the front of that. My son-in-law loves truffles, so I’m taping his to the front of a box of truffles. Another kid loves dark chocolate covered pretzels, so I’m taping his onto there. Another one loves jokes, so I’m taping his to the front of an inexpensive joke book. Another loves penguins, so I’m taping hers to the front of a penguin soap dispenser. Another loves Dentine gum, so I’m taping hers to the front of a case of her gum. This lets you give them money or a gift card but lets them know that you know something about what they like or enjoy.

2) Gift card tree—the first year we had a child-in-law, I got several $10 gift cards to places that her mom told me she liked and hung them like ornaments on a mini Christmas tree

3) Quarter rolls or dime rolls

4) Punch box in which the person has to punch the holes to get the money out of each one

5) Tape dollar bills end to end and roll them up in a tissue box

6) Paper airplanes made out of money

7) Pinata with money or gift cards taped to candy

8) Kits called “stick it right on the money” to dress up cash

9) Wrap candy bars with dollar bills

10) Place cash in a helium balloon

11) Put card of cash in a small box then put that in a bigger box and wrap it then that in a bigger box and wrap it, etc.

12) Fold them up small and place them in chocolates that you make—as the filling for the chocolates

13) Have a treasure hunt in which they search for their dollar bills or gift cards (or put in colored eggs, like an Easter egg hunt with each person’s in a different color egg or box)

14) Frame a collage of bills with a sign in the middle that says “break in case of emergency”

15) Hide a very small folded bill in a bag of Skittles or M and M’s

16) Buy a book and use Post-It Notes tape to tape bills throughout the book with a note that they can’t spend that bill until they get to that page in the book

17) Put money folded small in a pop bottle with other treats and surprises

18) Make homemade “crackers” that open when you snap them and instead of putting gifts inside, put cash (you can also buy these pre-made)

19) Roll bills up and put them in balloons before you blow them up. Fill a big box with the balloons and when they open the box, they have to pop the balloons to get the cash.

20) Ornaments that open and you can tuck cash or cards into

21) Tuck a gift card into a pair of socks, gloves, or slippers

22) Get clear balloons and fill with confetti and money

23) Make a dollar bill necklace by creating a chain (similar to the chains you make with paper to decorate a Christmas tree)

24) Get an empty candy box and place gift cards, dollar coins, folded up dollar bills, etc., into each empty slot that did have candy in it

25) Create a clear plastic sleeve for gift cards or bills, punch holes in the corners of them, and join them together with a metal ring—you could also add a key chain that represents that person and/or a page in the front of the whole gift with a card or note for the person to make it more personable

26) Roll up bills tightly (one at a time) and tie ribbon around each one that represents something about that person (dog ribbon or ribbon with books, etc.); place in a canning jar; decorate the lid with that same theme (i.e. a tiny stuffed dog on top or a little tiny book, etc.)

27) Make a tower of boxes of decreasing sizes and wrap each box, tape together, and put a ribbon over all the tower (like the fancy food towers that wholesale clubs carry at Christmas time). You can adjust it according to the amounts of each box/money or gift card. For example, the smallest could have a $5 gift card to someplace; the next a $10; the next a $15; and so on until the final one has a larger one. OR the smallest box could have a fifty cent piece; the next one a one dollar bill; the next one a five, etc. (Be sure they start with opening the smallest one!)

28) Fill an empty pizza box with some “dough”—including a sign inside that says that

29) Give a flower bouquet and wrap a bill around each stem

30) Get a thin, inexpensive photo book (at Dollar Tree) and fill each sleeve with a bill or card

31) Make a flower bouquet out of bills

32) Make a dart board with balloons that have cash in them; let the kids throw darts at them and get the cash inside

33) Put them in grab bags that people get according to the number they draw (or play our Pass and “Steal” Grab Bag game with group at Christmas time!)

34) Put gift cards of various amounts and to various places in layers of a ball made of plastic wrap. As they unroll the plastic wrap layers, they get the cards or bills. (Or for a group, here is how you do the Plastic Wrap Prize Ball.)

35) Get an inexpensive Monopoly game and replace the play money with real bills

36) Bake a batch of “fortune cookies” with bills inside each one

37) A balloon bouquet with cash in each balloon

38) A little business card holder with a different gift card or bill in each sleeve. If you’re crafty, you could make a cute one like one of these!

39) Put a bill in separate little cards with rhymes for each one, such as

Here you’ll find a bill of one
Maybe some candy or chewing gum?

Here’s a bigger one; it won’t go far
Buy a Big Mac or wash your car.

Now you’re in business—a bill of ten
You can go to the movies but can’t take a friend.

Oooh…better yet, a twenty will make you smile
Dinner and a drink will l keep you busy for a while.

Fifty dollars—wowsie…that’s some serious dough
Spend it on something you love or someplace you want to go.

40) Empty favorite tea bag wrappers and replace with folded bills

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Podcast Notes for “Christmas With College & Adult Children Part 1”

Donna — Fri, 18 Dec 2015 15:09:46 +0000

1. Which Traditions to Continue

A. Find out from children

i. Joshua’s first Christmas married
ii. Kayla flying home

B. Our “always” ones

i. Christmas decorating night
ii. Our own “Christmas Eve”
iii. Our own “Christmas Day”

2. The In-Laws-First Christmas

3. Part Or All Involved

A. Invitation vs. Obligation

B. Some we still do with part of the family

i. Christmas stories
ii. Christmas movies (“White Christmas Night”)
iii. Family Christmas outing
iv. Movie theater on Christmas night

4. Family Unity With College & Adult Children at Christmas

1. Continue with past traditions that bind your family together
2. Consider a sibling gift exchange
3. Consider a group gift
4. Make kids’ favorite foods
5. Reminisce
6. Do some things you have always done
7. Play group games
8. Make new members feel welcome

5. Our Christmas Day

A. Traditions
B. Gift Ideas
C. Food

Podcast: Christmas With College & Adult Children Part I

Donna — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 19:09:19 +0000

Donna Reish, of Raising Kids With Character and Character Ink Press, brings you answers to questions about celebrating Christmas with college and adult children. From how to include marrieds and college kids to gift ideas and party games, Donna loves sharing about her family’s traditions and celebrations.

Download the podcast notes here.

Listen to previous podcasts here.

The post Podcast: Christmas With College & Adult Children Part I appeared first on Character Ink.

Plastic Wrap Christmas: Big Kid Fun

Donna — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 23:00:45 +0000

Plastic wrap prizes! Several have asked how we do this activity, so here is a somewhat-clear description! (The pics are a little grainy in our living room that night!)

One thing that I highly recommend as you prepare for Christmas with teens and adults is that you try to make new memories…that you try to do things that are applicable to their ages. Yes, we definitely continue some of the earlier traditions. But we’ve also added new ones that are more age-appropriate. One of those is plastic wrap prizes.

This activity could be in lieu of stockings, Christmas Eve PJs, piñatas, etc. It is a ton of fun for teens and adults. With younger kids, there’s always a danger of some disappointment if they get Chapstick or antacids (lol!), but with teens and adults, it is all just good fun. Lots of laughs. Lots of usable items. And more family unity than you would think, LOL!

Here is how we created the huge plastic wrap ball:

1) Take a bunch of small gifts—see suggestions below

2) Lay the first one on plastic wrap that is pulled out then start rolling the plastic wrap around the prize.

3) When it is covered, lay another prize on it and roll again.

4) When you come to the end of the roll, open another roll and tied the end of the first with the beginning of the second.

5) When we were done with all one hundred plus gifts/prizes, we had a huge ball like you see in the picture.

Ray getting started on the Plastic Wrap Prizes for our Christmas Eve night! Sorting all of the goodies and gifts.

Getting closer! This is more fun for young adults than stockings!

The “ball” is getting bigger–we are on our second roll of plastic wrap now!

Last layer. The kids will pass the ball around the room to the next person, unwrapping another layer each time as their “prizes” fall out!

So what exactly do we do with that big ball of prizes, goodies, and gifts? Here is how that part goes down:

1) The kids all get in a big semi circle and the first one tears away the plastic wrap (the ball is on the floor in front of them) and gets the first prize he comes to/first one that falls out.

2) Then he passes it to the next person (or moves it over in front of the next person who does the same.

3) They continue to do that…they might see something they like better under the next layer, but they get whatever is next in the wrap. (They barter and trade afterwards!)

So what are good Plastic Wrap Prizes? This is dependent on a lot of factors:

1) Whether this activity is in place of other gifts you would normally get them. (Ours is in part as this year we are doing a bigger gift card or two per person and then the “gifts” are the things in this plastic wrap as well as in the grab bags… See my upcoming post on grab bag gifts for Christmas eve.)

2) If it is just for extras, like candy and trinkets that you put in their stockings, then you would probably want to limit it to $.50 or one dollar items, such as packages of gum, candy bars, nail clippers, etc.

3) How many people will be opening the ball and removing things. For us, we have seven adult kids and four kids-in-law. Thus, I try to have at least forty-four items in it so that each “child” receives four gifts or prizes approximately.

4) Your family’s Christmas budget. Since this is replacing some of their gifts this year, I will put a little bit costlier items in it than I did when it did not replace part of their gifts. Therefore, this year, we will have DVDs, nicer earbuds, and some $10 gift cards. Keep in mind that whatever you start is somewhat what people come to expect. (This is, of course, true with any gift of giving situation. Even going down to gift cards this year for us is challenging simply because that is not where we started with our adult Christmas gifts.)

5) What types of things you want them to end up with. I have been on a minimalism kick for the last couple of years; therefore, I am opposed to giving them more things to have lying around their houses since I don’t want things lying around my house either. Of course, sometimes nicer/more usable things are more expensive. Generally speaking, I try to stay away from too many Dollar Tree items and Target dollar bin items unless these are truly usable prizes.

I know this post is getting long, but I would be remiss if I didn’t give you a list of some suggestions for the Plastic Wrap a Prizes. I recommend you use our Kids’ Faves List if you are unsure of what your kids would like.

1) Gum, mints, Lifesavers, TicTac’s, and other small gum and mint items (I get tons of “consumables” and usually put a gum or candy in every layer—so there is a consumable and a gift each time.)

2) Favorite candy–again I use my kid faves list and get everybody’s favorites knowing they will barter and trade at the end.

3) Ear buds… And more earbuds

4) Fast food gift cards

5) Movie theater tickets

6) Hand warmers

7) Small window scrapers

8) Hand lotion

9) Hand sanitizer

10) DVDs

11) CDs

12) Pepper spray

13) Meat thermometers (I’m all about meat thermometers for my kids’ kitchens!)

14) Car wash cards

15) Wal-mart gift cards

16) Playing cards

17) Hand held portable games (Yahtzee, etc.)

18) Coupons for a ream of paper from our print center (we have a small press publishing company….Character Ink Press)

19) Five dollar bills with a sticky note to use it towards something specific

20) Laundry soap pouches in double zipper bags

21) Spices (especially more expensive ones like real vanilla or a blend)

22) Kitchen gadgets that are super useful

23) Hand sanitizer, talcum powder, hand lotion, chap stick, nail clippers

24) Soup, coffee, tea, and cocoa packets and add ins

25) Personalized calendars and other small family pic items

26) Flashlights and batteries

27) Mini Lego figures

28) Zippo lighters (in a box)

29) Travel toiletries

30) Toothbrushes and toothpaste

31) Card games such as Pit, Uno, Dutch Blitz, Skip Bo, Rook, Phase 10

32) Travel games

33) Tylenol, Advil, Emergen C

34) Office supplies such as pens, highlighters, sticky notes, envelopes, etc

35) USB flash drives

36) Household miscellaneous scissor sets, masking tape, pliers, extension cords, etc.

37) Favorite team paraphernalia

38) Fuzzy socks

39) Bathroom miscellaneous such as Q-tips, cotton balls, Band Aids, etc.

40) Inexpensive sporting tickets (or museum)

41) Phone chargers, car adapters, etc

42) Stress balls, yo yo’s, Silly Putty

43) Oven mitts

44) Plexus X Factor, ProBio 5, Boost, Children’s Chewables, or Slim drink packets

45) Car air fresheners

46) Tiny plasticware containers, little zipper type bags (craft, pill, etc., sized)

47) Table top mind games (Cracker Barrel style)

48) Gas cards

49) Chip clips, carabiner clips, zip strips

50) Penny, nickel, or dime rolls

51) Small feather dusters, scrub brushes, cleaning cloths

Other Thoughts

• I just use the cheap plastic wrap from the dollar store. (I thought I needed the heavier stuff, and I bought the thicker kind that year, but it really isn’t necessary.)

• Watch out for things with strong scents. Cinnamon car fresheners, peppermint candy, wintergreen gum, pine cone room scents, etc., can make your prizes smell and/or taste those scents/flavors.

• Things can get broken, so watch out for things not packaged. For example, my non-peppermint candy canes were all in pieces.

• If having things even in cost is super important to you, you could handle this one of two ways: You could be sure that every layer of the plastic wrap has similar priced items. For example, you could put Chapstick, fluffy socks, and a five dollar McDonald’s card in if you want each layer to have roughly eight dollars with the stuff in it. Or, you could do it such where the very middle of the ball has all expensive things in it and the outsides of the ball has gum, mints, masking tape, etc. In this way, they would open the lesser priced things first and then expensive things last. Both of these ways in sure that somebody doesn’t just end up with a $1.50 worth of stuff and somebody else is up with $30 worth of stuff at the end.

Save

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Podcast Notes for “How to Utilize Room Time With Toddlers & Preschoolers”

Donna — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 16:53:27 +0000

“Soon it was time for Jakie to play in his play pen, so Josiah and I got to play together. Next thing I knew, we were in trouble! Mommy came into the room and said that it looked like a tornado went through. We did it again! We got too many things out at one time. We had stuff all over the living room: Legos, cars and trucks, Duplo people, books, and stuffed animals. It took us FOREVER to clean it up—even with Kara’s help. Josiah and I had to each do an extra fifteen minute chore with Mommy because we forgot the rule about getting out too many things at one time. “

What Is Room Time?

Concentrated time of play and activity for young children in which they learn focusing skills, independence, problem solving, initiative, resourcefulness, deference and more.

Benefits of Room Time

1) Increase in Focusing Skills—studies show children who watch television over independent activities and/or what large amounts of television have more trouble with concentration, impulsiveness, and restlessness

2) Builds many preschool skills naturally

3) Provides small amount of time for Mom to get something done

General How To’s

1) Set up a closet or area off limits normally in which you house the room time activities

2) Build the child’s curiosity each day or week by describing what he can do that day/letting him peek in the closet/hiding (but showing!) new things you got for room time, etc. (Be sure he never sees it as punishment.)

3) Tell him ahead of time you will be starting it next week or whenever (if it is new to him…and especially if playing alone is new to him)

4) Choose second most time-intensive time of day for Mom (when she is needed elsewhere second to the most)

5) Set a timer or have some other mechanism in place so he knows when it ends (make it super short at first)

6) Give him a five minute warning for clean up

7) Have him clean up

Room Time Activities Suggestions

• Closet or several tubs somewhere

• Not something he normally gets to play with

• Something you have already done with him/that he has mastered and can do alone easily

• Nothing too difficult or that he would need help for (he should grow into those things)

• Age appropriate/size appropriate

• Non electronics

• Imagination-driven

SIGN UP for Character Ink Press/Raising Kids With Character newsletter and receive an annotated list of suggested activities for room time for preschoolers and toddlers in our December 2015 Freebie Friday!

Potential Problems and Solutions

• Bored—children often get bored with “regular” things when they have too many thrills (electronics, etc.) Don’t let room time take the place of those (or he could resent it), but try to reduce the thrills in other ways/at other times

• Bored—try to really tap into your child’s interests and get activities geared towards those

• Won’t stay in room time—at first let him come out or call out one time, but then he can’t unless it is an emergency (don’t make it so long that he feels trapped and feels like he has to come out)

• Can’t fill the entire time—if you are increasing time and want him to play longer, try switching toys halfway through, helping him play or come up with activities/suggestions and then leave again