teaching children Archives - Character Ink https://characterinkblog.com/tag/teaching-children/ Home of the Language Lady & Cottage Classes! Sat, 22 Sep 2018 23:31:13 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Readability Levels and Formulas for Homeschooling Parents https://characterinkblog.com/readability-levels-and-formulas-for-homeschooling-parents/ https://characterinkblog.com/readability-levels-and-formulas-for-homeschooling-parents/#respond Mon, 01 Oct 2018 13:35:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/readability-levels-and-formulas-for-homeschooling-parents/   An Introduction to Readability Levels I began homeschooling over thirty years ago when Ray and I taught my younger sister (who was in eighth grade at the time) in our home. During my first several years of homeschooling, I used early readers when my children were first learning to read, but I did not […]

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An Introduction to Readability Levels

I began homeschooling over thirty years ago when Ray and I taught my younger sister (who was in eighth grade at the time) in our home. During my first several years of homeschooling, I used early readers when my children were first learning to read, but I did not care for “readers” for older children. I always felt that abridged or excerpted stories were inferior—and that children should read whole books.

 


This worked wonderfully for my first two (the ones who learned to read at age eight and nine). They didn’t like abridgements and excerpts very much anyway—and could easily read a couple of chapter books a week from ages ten and up. (I should note that they are both real literature buffs as adults, and our son teaches literary analysis of many novels to homeschooled students every semester. All of that reading really paid off!)

 

Then along came our third child, who begged for everything that I did not think was “best” for learning—workbooks (the more, the merrier, in her opinion); readers with excerpts and short stories; tons of what I had thought were useless pages of worksheets and coloring pages; and more. She was a different type of learner than Joshua and Kayla had been—and desired different learning tools.

 

So I began my hunt for “older” readers—readers for children beyond the phonetically-controlled ones that I had utilized to teach reading. I found many that I liked—and actually used some of them to read aloud to the kids since we found the stories and excerpts interesting and fun. They even caused my kids to go on and read entire books for themselves that they might have otherwise not known about or read (after reading an excerpted portion in their readers).

 

So…the moral of this story? Every child is different. Each child has his own learning style, likes, dislikes, etc. And we need to cater to those as much as possible in their learning. In order to choose reading materials for your children, a basic knowledge of readability levels will be a great help. I will detail readability levels and determinations in this month’s newsletter (March) and next month’s. 

 

When a child is in school, he is likely in a “reading group,” that is a group of children from his class in which all of the students read at about the same reading level. The child’s teacher chooses readers/stories for each group of children based on that group’s (the children in that group’s) reading level.

 

To practice with your child at home, you will want to do the same thing—but in a one on one, rather than small group, situation. How do you know what level is appropriate for your child?

 

I will enumerate some tips for choosing books at your child’s reading level, primarily for word-calling purposes. First, though, a small peek at readability levels will help you in determining your child’s reading level.

 

Readability is based on many factors. Many readability scales use one of a few simple formulae in which the number of words in a passage or story is divided by the number of words—and a readability level is derived based on the number of words each sentence contains (on an average). Other formulae use the number of syllables, considering that a sentence that contains twenty “one-syllable” words is certainly easier to word call than a sentence that contains twenty “three-syllable” words.

 

In both of those cases, the readability level is based on word calling, which is an accurate portrayal of early readers since children do not focus much on comprehension at that level of reading. (And if a class does focus on comprehension, it is usually just literal comprehension—what happened, who the characters were, etc.)

 

As students progress in their reading, we want them to not only be able to sound out words in a passage or story, but we want them to derive meaning from those words. Formulae for readability of a text based on comprehension is much more difficult to assess (though definitely counting number of words with longer syllables demonstrates a higher comprehension level than just merely counting the number of words).

 

So many things come into play when considering readability of, say, a chapter book of 150 pages. A book might be short but extremely difficult to comprehend due to the vocabulary used (which some formulae do not consider). Likewise, a book can be very long but have extremely immature vocabulary and not be difficult to comprehend at all.

 

In our language arts and composition books, we give students passages to write from at least half of the time for factual writing in the early grades, lessening as students learn to find appropriate sources themselves, etc. In choosing these passages to write from, comprehension is extremely important. In order to write from source material, a much higher level of comprehension must be realized than merely that of sounding out the words. In choosing passages for students to read, take notes from, and write from, we consider readability in terms of word calling first, then we consider sentence structure. Sentence structure includes the length of the sentence, the type of sentence (i.e. what we learned as compound, compound-complex, etc.), the type of and length of sentence openers a sentence contains (prepositional phrase openers, adverb openers, etc.), and finally, the vocabulary of the passage.

 

How does this apply to your reading with your student? Consider the list of ascending skills below concerning readability and readers:

 

Readability and Readers

 

1. In the early grades, you will be concerned with readability in terms of decoding, phonics, sight words, etc. That is, can your student read the words?

 

2. If your child already reads well in terms of decoding (sounding out words), and can “pick up anything and ‘read’ it,” you will want to focus on content—comprehending what he reads, discussing it, etc.

 

3. As students progress in reading, homeschooling moms and teachers in school often forsake the practice of reading aloud with children, noting that the child can word call anything, so there is no need to check for word calling skills/application of phonics. However, we advocate reading aloud with your child for some years, at least a couple of times a week. No, you will not be checking for word calling anymore (though my older boys will still say something like, “How do you pronounce this word—m-y-r-i-a-d?” when they are reading something to themselves), but reading involves word calling AND comprehension. A child who can “read anything” but not comprehend it is like a child reading “There’s a Wocket in My Pocket.” To say that a child in fourth grade can read at a ninth grade level because he can decode all of the words in a passage that is rated at a ninth grade readability level is like saying he can read the “Wocket” tale by Dr. Seuss. He might be able to word call it, but is he “reading” if he cannot comprehend what he reads?

 

4. Oral reading together with Mom or Dad at upper elementary grades is for comprehension—you will not necessarily be checking on the application of his decoding skills, but you will be checking on his comprehension, vocabulary recognition, etc. You will hopefully be guiding him through his reading, discussing it, answering questions about vocabulary words (i.e. words he can easily sound out but does not know the meaning of), etc.

 

5. If your child is beyond the beginning phonics instruction, you may not need books that are “graded” in terms of readability. Perhaps he already enjoys reading a certain picture book series or early junior fiction series. These can then become his “readers” to read with you.

 

6. Consider the differences in “readability” in the materials he reads with you vs the materials he reads to himself:

 
a. Be sure the material he reads aloud with you is somewhat challenging (i.e. he needs some help with words here and there but the books do not leave him in tears).

 
b. Be sure that what he is reading to himself is not so difficult that he needs cueing or instruction as he reads it.
 

 
c. Keep in mind that there are other things that affect readability besides syllable count, numbers of pages, sentence structure, and vocabulary. Interest is a strong factor in determining readability. (That is why I recommended the Saxon Bold Intervention+ for older students who need remedial reading on our Positive Parenting blog.The materials that they read from are high interest for older students—not childish or primary stories.) This is the reason that children who would not read their science or history book in fifth grade are picking up huge books of Harry Potter and these vampire books (not sure of their titles). Whether we like them or not, many children out there are reading these tomes simply because they are interested in them—despite the fact that those kids are not “at that reading level” and would never have picked up a book over two hundred pages prior to these books being released. (If you have an older student who is working on remedial reading, ask your librarian specifically for high interest/low readability materials for older students. Some of the adult literacy materials are extremely high interest with lower readability levels, as well.)

 

Other reading links:

Phonics Program Roundup for Reading Instruction

Using Word Cards for Reading Instruction

Reading Round Up: Tips for Teaching Your Child How to Read

 

 

 

 

 

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Back to School Tip III of XII: Create Reading Environment https://characterinkblog.com/back-to-school-tip-iii-of-xii-create-reading-environment/ https://characterinkblog.com/back-to-school-tip-iii-of-xii-create-reading-environment/#respond Wed, 12 Sep 2018 01:36:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/back-to-school-tip-iii-of-xii-create-reading-environment/   “I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.” ~Anna Quindlen, “Enough Bookshelves” During my graduate studies (in Reading Specialist) at Ball State University, I did a master’s thesis about children who learn to read without any reading […]

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“I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.” ~Anna Quindlen, “Enough Bookshelves”


During my graduate studies (in Reading Specialist) at Ball State University, I did a master’s thesis about children who learn to read without any reading instruction. That is, the kids just suddenly started reading books without ever having phonics lessons, basal readers, or other “formal instruction.” It was a challenging thesis simply because there is so little data about it because of our “early school attendance age.” Seldom does a child learn to read “naturally” before age six or seven, and with kids going to school at age five (and often beginning reading instruction in kindergarten), the research was sparse concerning these “instruction-less” readers.

I did find enough, however, and I was also blessed to find a family who had a natural reader to compare the printed data with. My observations, coupled with the studies in teaching journals, etc., led me to find what I called the “environment” in which natural readers are raised. This led me to other lines of thinking—if a child can learn to read with absolutely no instruction in a literary-saturated environment, wouldn’t this environment be conducive to helping those who DO receive instruction learn to read better, more easily, and more naturally?

The answer, of course, was yes. Study after study shows the type of environment that causes kids to learn better. Duplicating the “natural reader’s” environment can only help our kids learn better. Maybe our creating this “literary atmosphere” will not automatically make our six year old pick up a book and begin reading, but if it makes the learning process (actually any/all learning processes) easier, more enjoyable, and less stressful, why wouldn’t we want to duplicate it in our homes for all of our kids?

So what were the commonalities I found in studying the environment of “natural readers”?

Common Characteristics of Natural Readers

1. Interaction with adults—these kids were with adults a lot—and definitely not around peers more than adults. They had adults on hand to discuss things with, to answer their questions, and to provide examples of proper speech patterns, etc.

2. Much book handling by the child—these children were surrounded with books that they were permitted to interact with. They were often found at very young ages with stacks of books around them, just looking at the pictures, making stories in their minds from the pictures, etc.

3. Print abounds and interest in print is evident by itself—not only did the homes of natural readers contain books themselves, but they also contained all type of print. The parents of these children read magazines, journals, newspapers, etc. I think the “interest in print” part probably began with something like a parent saying, “Honey, look at this whale they found beached on the coast of Florida,” as he or she brought the little one up on to her lap to see the picture that was provided with the article in today’s newspaper, etc. This type of activity causes a child to become interested in print.

4. Audios and books are used—This is the reason why I began using book and tape sets a few times a week for my preschoolers and elementary children—and why we have used audios (talking books, radio dramas, etc.) every week of our lives since our oldest was one year old. Audios and books show our children the benefits and “fun” that reading provides.

5. Memorization takes place—these natural readers often followed a certain pattern—they memorized a picture book (usually many), then through the memorization, they began making print-sound-word connections. That is, when they turned the page and recited, “If you give a mouse a cookie,” they began to understand that i-f says if and y-o-u says you. Natural readers were experts at memorizing large portions of text.

6. Interest in writing words and “language experience” activities—many years ago, there was a movement in education to replace phonics instruction with “language experience” activities (also called a “whole language approach”). Phonics proponents everywhere were up in arms at the thought of “activities” of writing what the child said (dictation) for him, making little homemade books, etc. taking the place of phonics instruction. While I am a strong phonics proponent, I believe that these “language experiences” and “whole language” activities augment reading instruction greatly. And, of course, the natural readers in the research were exposed to these types of activities early and often. These kids were the ones who dictated thank-you notes to Mom to go to grandparents and colored a picture to send along with it; they were the ones who had a chalk board in the kitchen in which Mom or Dad wrote the day of the week each morning; they were those who “said” stories aloud and parents copied it in little “journal” books for the child. And on and on. Why wouldn’t these types of experiences and activities increase a child’s relationship with print and love for learning?

7. Experiences related to literacy and books—these obviously include the types of activities listed in number six, but these kids knew from birth that books and reading were important. They were the ones in a double stroller at the library lawn sale as toddlers—child in front seat with back seat full of picture books. They were the ones who had their own “book basket” in the corner of the nursery almost from birth. In other words, they were immersed in literacy and books from an early age.

8. Self-regulated behavior and risk taking—This characteristic related to how they “organize” their little lives. These kids would pull all of the Curious George books off the shelf and stack them up to look at after lunch. They often had little learning systems in place at ages four and five. And they were not afraid to be wrong. This, of course, stems from not being talked down to or made fun of when they did ask questions. These kids were risk takers because taking risks in learning (“Mommy, is this word (dapper) ‘Daddy’?”) yielded information that helped them in their quest to learn. The questions did not yield put downs or “you should already know this.”

9. Read to often—Obviously, a link has to be made from the squiggles on the page to the sounds that those squiggles make in order for a young child to teach himself to read. Thus, a child must be read to (or follow along with books and tapes) in order to learn to read without formal instruction. Now, this is not to say that a child who is read to will automatically learn to read early and on his own. I read aloud to our first three kids three to five hours everyday for years and years—and not one of the three was a natural, or early, reader! But it certainly created a love for print and learning in my children!

Children who learn to read naturally, without reading instruction, are raised in an environment that is conducive to learning to read naturally—an environment that creates a love for learning and a very perceived need to learn.

While I have never had a natural reader myself, I tried all throughout my children’s learning days to create this type of environment. It has created outstanding learners and avid readers in the Reish home.

One of the “rules” that Ray and I had for our children’s early education was that if something could be taught informally (and painlessly), we would teach it that way (as opposed to using workbooks or “curriculum” for something that can just as easily be learned while driving down the road or snuggling on the sofa).

That is one thing that I truly loved about the “natural reader learning environment.” Why get a workbook to teach capital letters when you can teach them while you are running errands (from all of the store signs)? Why get a program for rhyming words when nursery rhymes, silly songs, and I spy games on the road can do the job without the stress? The “natural reader learning environment” fit how we thought young children should be taught—regardless of whether our kids truly became natural readers or not.

Here are just a few of the skills that the research on natural readers indicated are learned/enjoyed by kids in this environment:

1. Contact with print

2. Thinking skills

3. Comprehension (especially when a wide variety of materials is presented and discussion follows)

4. Expanded vocabulary

5. Enunciation and pronunciation

6. Love of and need for reading

7. Sentence patterns

8. Relationship between parent and child—the most important one of all, of course!

Create a “natural reader learning environment” in your home—regardless of your kids’ ages….and watch the interaction with print increase; the love for learning grow; and the positive relationships bloom.

Whether you have a five year old who taught herself to read or an eight year old still struggling with primers, I encourage you to create a reading environment–and build life-long readers and learners! Blessings on your teaching and children!

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Summer Is Here—Keeping Skills and Gaining New Ones https://characterinkblog.com/summer-keeping-skills-gaining-new-ones/ https://characterinkblog.com/summer-keeping-skills-gaining-new-ones/#respond Sat, 21 May 2016 21:05:10 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/?p=4826 “One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.” -Unknown Summer is here! Whether our children attend preschool, private school, public school, or homeschool, there are things that we can all do during the summer to make it an enjoyable, growing time in our children’s lives. Summer truly proves the quote above–that one good mother is […]

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Summer is Here--Keeping Skills and Adding New Ones

“One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.” -Unknown

Summer is here! Whether our children attend preschool, private school, public school, or homeschool, there are things that we can all do during the summer to make it an enjoyable, growing time in our children’s lives.

Summer truly proves the quote above–that one good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. We have our children home all summer–either with us if we work at home or stay home with younger children or at home while we are working. Either way, we have all summer to be their “schoolmasters.”

I have a variety of topics to share with you concerning summer. Here is a sneak preview of some of them:

1. Scheduling your summer days (A schedule? If you have kids sleeping ‘til noon, you would be surprised how much more time you can have with your kids and how much you can get done, if you just had a semi-scheduled summer!)

2. Helping your struggling reader—this will be multi-posted. From helping your young, struggling “word caller” (with phonics, reading together, and more) to helping your child go from word calling to fluency to helping your children build their comprehension skills this summer so that when they attack various types of materials this fall at school, they will understand and retain better than ever. My master’s work is in reading specialist—and teaching reading, comprehension, writing, and language arts are my true loves!

3. “Losing” academic skills in the summer? Which children really need academics in the summer?

4. Summer “skills” books vs instruction? How do you know what your child really needs this summer?

5. Reading aloud and summer library time—of course!

6. Penmanship helps—improve your child’s penmanship this summer in just a few minutes a day.

7. Math drill—get a simple, no nonsense math drill that will keep your kids’ skills sharp all year long.

8. Relationship building in the summer—especially with those older kids who are home from college for the summer!

9. Implementing those things that you always say you’re going to do and always want to do but that do not happen during the school year!

10. Much more!

I will try to move quickly so that we will be through them all in a few weeks, so you will still have a good six weeks to work on things that are suggested, if you decide you need to. Thanks for joining us!

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3 Steps to Teach Your Kids How to Apologize https://characterinkblog.com/3-steps-to-teach-your-kids-how-to-apologize/ https://characterinkblog.com/3-steps-to-teach-your-kids-how-to-apologize/#comments Sat, 19 Sep 2015 14:32:42 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/?p=3859 A couple of days ago I wrote about how to teach your kids NOT to apologize based on The View’s apology to the beauty pageant nurse. In going through the steps to teach your kids what to do and not do in apologizing, it was uncanny how many things the co-hosts on that program did […]

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A couple of days ago I wrote about how to teach your kids NOT to apologize based on The View’s apology to the beauty pageant nurse. In going through the steps to teach your kids what to do and not do in apologizing, it was uncanny how many things the co-hosts on that program did in the “what not to do when you apologize” list.

There are many formulae out there for teaching the apology, and most of them are correct as they focus on the basics:

(Download this poster here)

3 Steps to Teach Your Kids How to Apologize

 

I’m all about mnemonics—using jingles, rhymes, clues, abbreviations, and more to teach children (and adults). I’m all about alliteration (thus, the All About Alliteration…sorry!). I’m also all about making things easier for kids to learn.

So rather than the four, five, or even seven steps (which are all important), I bring you three steps to the genuine apology…with some substeps. 🙂 (I’m also all about outlining and sub-steps!)

 

3 “Simple” Steps to the Genuine Apology

 

Let’s take these apart for teaching purposes:

1. Responsibility: Taking full responsibility for actions (in your mind and heart first).

This is often the hardest step for people (adults and children) because to take full responsibility means that we are not holding the other person responsible for anything they did.

We are a society of victims (even when it isn’t legit). It is often hard for us to believe that something is entirely our faults.

In the responsibility step, we must teach our children that a genuine apology has the offender taking full responsibility for his actions—with no concern for what the other person may have done.

(This step can actually be “taught” in an ongoing manner in our homes (not just during apologies) by working on two character qualities: empathy and humility. Check out this blog post for help in teaching these traits to your children.)

 

Be sure you teach some important aspects of this step:

a) Responsibility means using clear wording to describe exactly what you did. No vagueness. No “if I did anything.” No “misunderstanding.”
b) Responsibility takes the entire blame (without holding the other person hostage to apologize in order for you to admit your part).
c) Responsibility avoids words like if, but, you also, you misunderstood, sorry for the misunderstanding, etc.

 

 

2. Regret/Remorse: Wording an apology in such a way that true remorse is communicated.

If a person did not take full responsibility for his actions, this regret/remorse step will be hard to get to. You simply cannot truly regret something you “might” have done or something that was “misunderstood” by the other person.

If a parent is forcing an apology, this step will be short, clipped, and insincere. It will be whatever it takes to end the apology.

Because of this, we recommend that you use truly remorseful statements (as opposed to “I want to ask you to forgive me” or “I hope you will forgive me” or “I wanted to apologize”).

 

Here are some important aspects of this step:

a) Wording should be that of taking full responsibility AND genuine remorse

i. I am sorry that I _______________________ (list what the offender did)
ii. Please forgive me for doing this.

b) A remorseful apology does not bring up what the other person did.

c) Note: We taught our kids that perception is reality. If the person thought you did it, to that person, you did it. Don’t apologize for the person thinking you did it. Apologize for doing it.

 

 

3. Remedy: Taking steps to prove to the offended that you are changing your behavior in that area.

A true apology ends with the offended one being convinced that the offender will not repeat the offense. Now, nobody is perfect, and it might happen again! However, the offended one should feel that the person really plans to not repeat the offense and is actually planning steps to stop it from happening again.

Children will often need a lot of help with this step. Coaching at this stage might sound something like, “Johnny, now that you know that you have hurt Susie with that behavior. What can you do to be sure that you don’t do it again?”

Eventually, as you carry out the three steps with your children, they will not need as much coaching in each step, but this last one might take some creativity on your part to help the offender come up with behaviors and steps that will end the hurtful actions.

 

 

The “Simple” is in the title because while there might be three words, three simple steps, the carrying out of these is anything but simple.

But forgiveness is worth it. Humility and empathy are worth spending time on in the lives of our children.

Click on the picture below to download 2 printable posters about what an apology IS 🙂

Apology Poster Pack

 

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Two Tips for Teaching Empathy and Humility to Our Children https://characterinkblog.com/two-tips-for-teaching-empathy-and-humility-to-our-children/ https://characterinkblog.com/two-tips-for-teaching-empathy-and-humility-to-our-children/#respond Fri, 18 Sep 2015 19:08:16 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/?p=3856   How many times have we heard “It isn’t my fault”? Or “He did it first”? Or “I only did that because he did this to me…”? While some of that will always be a part of raising more than one child in a home, as parents our focus should be on getting the whole […]

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Two Tips for Teaching Empathy and Humility to Our Children

 

How many times have we heard “It isn’t my fault”?

Or “He did it first”?

Or “I only did that because he did this to me…”?

While some of that will always be a part of raising more than one child in a home, as parents our focus should be on getting the whole “never my fault” mentality out of our children by the time they are grown. And replace it with responsibility for actions, empathy towards those they might hurt, and humility in admitting guilt.

 

Yesterday I discussed the lack of humility and true apology in the co-hosts of The View when they attempted to undo the damage that was done by essentially making fun of nurses by belittling the beauty pageant’s nursing talent. (Read that here.)

 

Tomorrow I am going to give you our 3 Steps to Teach Your Kids How to Apologize.

 

Today I want to give you two strategies that we used to help our children learn humility and empathy (two important qualities and pre-requisites to the genuine apology).

 

My husband was big on both of these and used them extensively in heart-training our kids, especially as they reached the preteen and teen years. However, he was also big on something else—teaching during non-conflict times.

So I want to preface these two tips with this instruction: Whenever possible, try to teach your kids important relationship skills during non-conflict times.

That is, do not wait until there is a fight in progress to try to begin asking them “what the other person might be feeling.” (If you’ve used this strategy during non-conflict times, you can definitely use it in mid-fight, but teach it when there isn’t a conflict!)

 

We tried to make these two strategies a way of life. That is, we used them to discuss other people’s problems (their friends with their parents or two other friends or a sibling pair of friends, etc.). We applied them to situations all the time—movies, friends, news headlines, etc. (That is one reason that our twenty year old knew immediately that the ladies in The View were not genuinely apologizing when he saw the clip on Facebook.)

 

So…the strategies and how to carry them out:

 

(1) Empathy strategy: How do you think that makes him/her feel?

We used this ALL THE TIME from the time our children were very small.

We taught them to look at people’s faces and discern what that person might be thinking or feeling. We taught them to always “put themselves in other people’s shoes.” We taught them to try to understand how their siblings were feeling.

For the latter, we might do something as simple as bring the kids together when a sibling is on the way home from a second driving test/driver’s license failure and dialogue with them: “______ (no mention of names to protect the three of my seven kids who had this problem! 🙂 ) didn’t pass the driver’s test again today. How do you think he is feeling? What can we do to help him feel better right now?”

 

Or we might do something as elaborate as sitting down with two teens who are at an impasse in a conflict for two or three hours…constantly reminding them to stop and think for a moment how the other person feels right now.

When we do this on a regular basis, an empathy is developed that might otherwise be missed.

And empathy is truly one of the foundations to the genuine apology.

If the person at fault doesn’t feel anything for the other person’s hurt, the genuine apology simply cannot move forward.

 

 

(1) Humility strategy: I want you to tell me your side of the story by only telling me your wrongs/faults. Do not mention what the other person did.

We used this especially with pre-teens and teens. When kids come to you to tell you what the other person did, it (obviously) becomes distorted.

The Bible even addresses this when it says something like “each person sounds innocent when they give their side of the story.”

So my husband started turning this around and had each child give his side of the story—but while only telling what HE did wrong (not the other person).

Sometimes this would diffuse it fairly early. As the child gave his side, he could see that he had some part in the problem. He humbled himself, so to speak.

Other times (thus, the two to three hour impasse session referred to above!), it wasn’t so simple.

Regardless, this humility strategy takes the child back to his part in any conflict.

 

 

 

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Our Kids Will Do To and For Other What We Do To and For Them–Reprint https://characterinkblog.com/our-kids-will-do-to-and-for-other-what-we-do-to-and-for-them-reprint/ https://characterinkblog.com/our-kids-will-do-to-and-for-other-what-we-do-to-and-for-them-reprint/#respond Sun, 09 Feb 2014 05:57:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/our-kids-will-do-to-and-for-other-what-we-do-to-and-for-them-reprint/ “Throughout their lives, your kids will do to and for others what you have done to and for them.” In our “Character for Tweens and Teens” seminar, we stress the quote above—because we have seen it over and over in our children’s lives during our thirty years of parenting. And it is truly something to […]

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“Throughout their lives, your kids will do to and for others what you have done to and for them.”


In our “Character for Tweens and Teens” seminar, we stress the quote above—because we have seen it over and over in our children’s lives during our thirty years of parenting. And it is truly something to consider in the time, effort, money, and teaching that we invest in our children. When I look back at how true this statement has been in our lives, I just want to tell every parent that there are genuine dividends paid for all of that investing!

I could share examples of this with you from every age and stage our seven kids:

*How Joshua, our first born, would sit in the back of the van and tell his sisters what to expect when we got to our destination, how they should behave and how they should treat others—because his mommy and daddy had done that for him since he was a toddler.

*How Kayla, our second daughter, took it upon herself at age fourteen to do all of the cooking for a long period of time during my grief after our stillborn daughter’s birth and my life-threatening ruptured uterus—because her parents had served her, fed her, and taught her everything she needed to know in the kitchen.

*How Cami, our third child, started a ministry for the disabled when she was a senior in high school (that still runs today seven years later and ministers to over a hundred disabled adults every week)—because we taught her to look into people’s hearts to see their deepest needs, and we looked into her heart.

*How the girls planned a special meal for their brothers and even called and invited their grandparents to their “Silly Supper” while Mom and Dad were out of town—because Mom and Dad had always tried to make things special for them.

*How Kara, our fourth child, listened intently night after night to the needs of the teens on the traveling drama team that she led—because her parents had listened to her needs late at night for twenty years.

And on and on and on and on. Our children are far from perfect—as are their parents. But there is one thing that we can be sure they will always do: serve, love, reach out, touch, help, and communicate with others in many of the same ways that they have been served, loved, reached out to, touched, helped, and communicated with by us, their parents.
We have an example of this hot off the press that is so incredibly cute I just had to share it with you. Our almost-eighteen  year-old Josiah (sixth child of seven living)  asked a few weeks ago if he could surprise his younger brother Jacob (our youngest) by taking him to visit their oldest sister near Chicago where she is in grad school at Wheaton College (a four hour drive from us). We discussed it and decided to let him do it, so he set about planning the trip.

He must have talked to me about the “unveiling” of the trip to Jakie no fewer than a dozen times over the three weeks prior to the trip: “Should I drive home with him from my drum teaching and ask him to tell me where the gps says to turn?” “Should I take him to Cami and Joseph’s (our daughter and son-in-law) and make him think we are spending the night there but then take off from there?” “Should I pack all of his stuff while he is at piano then act like we are going to run errands?” On and on. He had a new idea everyday it seemed.

He set aside two hours the night before to go over directions with his dad, talk to us about details, call Kayla (whom they were going to see), and pack/load the car while Jacob was at the YMCA exercising with Kara (our fourth child). He gassed up his vehicle. He packed snacks. He gathered story tapes. He went to the bank and got cash. He packed Jakie’s things and hid them in the trunk.

At one point in Josiah’s preparations, he said, “Don’t you think this is the best surprise that any of the siblings have ever done for another one?” To which we just smiled and nodded. (Our kids have had a sort of unofficial “best sibling EV-ER” contest going on for many years.)

And then they left. His idea to take Jacob to Cami and Joseph’s and go from there, telling him only when Jacob noticed that they were not taking the route that led home, won out. 

And Jacob called us to see if it was really true—“are we really driving to Kayla’s for the weekend?” We could hear Josiah laughing in the background—one happy big brother.

Josiah’s idea wasn’t quite as original as he thought—but we didn’t tell him that, of course. For Josiah had just done nearly everything that we had done for him eight years ago when we took him and his siblings on a surprise weekend trip—right down to hiding packed things in the trunk, packing good snacks, sneaking out story tapes and games,  and taking a strange route to confuse them. Because by that time, we knew that  “throughout their lives, our kids will do to and for other whatever has been done to and for them.” Smile…

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Starting Out Right With Kids’ Homework https://characterinkblog.com/starting-out-right-with-kids-homework/ https://characterinkblog.com/starting-out-right-with-kids-homework/#respond Thu, 12 Sep 2013 16:29:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/starting-out-right-with-kids-homework/ image clker.com Once school starts and the textbooks have been previewed, you can help your students get into good homework habits by doing their homework with them for a few weeks. Here are some tips along those lines:1. Taking the textbook preview furtherThere are a number of ways that you can take the previewing of textbooks […]

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image clker.com



Once school starts and the textbooks have been previewed, you can help your students get into good homework habits by doing their homework with them for a few weeks. 


Here are some tips along those lines:


1. Taking the textbook preview further


There are a number of ways that you can take the previewing of textbooks that I discussed yesterday even further with your children for more comprehension of the material:


a. Do his first few assignments out of the book with him, pointing out the things again that you observed in your first preview. This will help him see that those things are not just good things to know, but also helpful for completely homework quicker and more accurately.


b. Help him prepare for his first test with his textbook and you by his side. Show him how he can use the glossary, sidebars, table of contents, etc. to quickly fill in his study guide or quickly determine what the most important aspects of the chapter are in order to prepare for a test.


c. As you are previewing a text (for the first time or an additional time), use a large sticky note to record what you find. Write the title of the text at the top, then make notes about what it contains as far as study and homework helps. Stick this in the front of his textbook and help him refer to it when he is doing homework or test preparation. You could even record a plus and minus system, such as



+++ means something is going to be really helpful—a +++ beside the Table of Contents, for instance



+ beside a word he writes in the front of his book tells him that this might be somewhat helpful—Example: +Some graphs



– No study questions at end of chapter—again, he can make a list in the front of his book (on a large sticky note), etc. 



d. Help him “label” different sections of his book with sticky notes along the edges. For example, you could put a yellow one at the beginning of each chapter and a pink one on the page that has definitions for that chapter, etc.






2. Prepare your younger student for textbooks by using user-friendly non-fiction books

Maybe you are not in the textbook stage with your kids; however, you can begin preparing them for those all important study skills that I described yesterday with quality non-fiction books. If kids at ages five, six, eight, and ten, learn to navigate around Dorling Kindersley, Eyewitness, and Usborne books (among many others), they will be heads and shoulders above other children who have only been exposed to fictional stories (more on the benefits of fiction later!). 

These outstanding non-fiction books have literally hundreds of topics that interest kids, but they are so colorful and alluring, you do not feel like you are “teaching” at all. Additionally, they have many aspects that your child’s future textbooks will also have: glossaries, Tables of Contents, sidebars, graphs, pictures, inserts, definitions, bold font, italics, etc. Reading these to and with your children when they are younger will provide a natural step into textbooks later on.


Note: We teach our students (in our home, our cottage classes, and in our language arts books) a simple memory device for remembering fiction and non-fiction:

Fiction=fake (both begin with f)

Non-fiction=not fake (both begin with nf)

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Helping Kids Back to School–Homework and Textbooks (Reprint) https://characterinkblog.com/helping-kids-back-to-school-homework-and-textbooks-reprint/ https://characterinkblog.com/helping-kids-back-to-school-homework-and-textbooks-reprint/#respond Sat, 05 Jan 2013 00:12:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/helping-kids-back-to-school-homework-and-textbooks-reprint/ “The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.” Robert M HutchinsI wanted to add some more thoughts to yesterday’s “study skills with textbook previewing.” These are in no certain order or age group—just some things that haven’t really fit in the last couple! (How’s that for organizing and […]

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“The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.” Robert M Hutchins





I wanted to add some more thoughts to yesterday’s “study skills with textbook previewing.” These are in no certain order or age group—just some things that haven’t really fit in the last couple! (How’s that for organizing and study skills???)

1. Taking the textbook preview further


There are a number of ways that you can take the previewing of textbooks that I discussed yesterday even further with your children for more comprehension of the material:


a. Do his first few assignments out of the book with him, pointing out the things again that you observed in your first preview. This will help him see that those things are not just good things to know, but also helpful for completely homework quicker and more accurately.


b. Help him prepare for his first test with his textbook and you by his side. Show him how he can use the glossary, sidebars, table of contents, etc. to quickly fill in his study guide or quickly determine what the most important aspects of the chapter are in order to prepare for a test.


c. As you are previewing a text (for the first time or an additional time), use a large sticky note to record what you find. Write the title of the text at the top, then make notes about what it contains as far as study and homework helps. Stick this in the front of his textbook and help him refer to it when he is doing homework or test preparation. You could even record a plus and minus system, such as


+++ means something is going to be really helpful—a +++ beside the Table of Contents, for instance


+ beside a word he writes in the front of his book tells him that this might be somewhat helpful—Example: +Some graphs


– No study questions at end of chapter—again, he can make a list in the front of his book (on a large sticky note), etc.




d. Help him “label” different sections of his book with sticky notes along the edges. For example, you could put a yellow one at the beginning of each chapter and a pink one on the page that has definitions for that chapter, etc.








2. Prepare your younger student for textbooks by using user-friendly non-fiction books


Maybe you are not in the textbook stage with your kids; however, you can begin preparing them for those all important study skills that I described yesterday with quality non-fiction books. If kids at ages five, six, eight, and ten, learn to navigate around Dorling Kindersley, Eyewitness, and Usborne books (among many others), they will be heads and shoulders above other children who have only been exposed to fictional stories (more on the benefits of fiction later!).


These outstanding non-fiction books have literally hundreds of topics that interest kids, but they are so colorful and alluring, you do not feel like you are “teaching” at all. Additionally, they have many aspects that your child’s future textbooks will also have: glossaries, Tables of Contents, sidebars, graphs, pictures, inserts, definitions, bold font, italics, etc. Reading these to and with your children when they are younger will provide a natural step into textbooks later on.




Note: We teach our students (in our home, our cottage classes, and in our language arts books) a simple memory device for remembering fiction and non-fiction:




Fiction=fake (both begin with f)






Non-fiction=not fake (both begin with nf)

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Textbook Previewing With Your Kids (Reprint) https://characterinkblog.com/textbook-previewing-with-your-kids-reprint/ https://characterinkblog.com/textbook-previewing-with-your-kids-reprint/#respond Thu, 03 Jan 2013 18:18:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/textbook-previewing-with-your-kids-reprint/                       Back to School January 2013–Helping Your Kids With the New Semester With a new semester of school upon us, I want to rerun some study skills posts that I did a year or so ago. Many students change classes mid-year, so here are some tips to help you help your kids get accustomed to […]

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                      Back to School January 2013–Helping Your Kids With the New Semester

With a new semester of school upon us, I want to rerun some study skills posts that I did a year or so ago. Many students change classes mid-year, so here are some tips to help you help your kids get accustomed to their new books: textbook previewing.

I recommend that you go through their text books with them and help them look for these things. This will be time well spent as your student learns how to learn. This will carry over to research–when he is looking for books to use for report writing, etc., he will know what to look for in a book, how to find easy-to-use sources, etc., simply from the small amount of time that you walked him through his text books.

“The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.” Robert M Hutchins






Try these specific strategies for previewing textbooks with your student to help him or her get the most out of his or her texts this year:


1. Graphs and charts—Remind your student that charts and graphs usually restate (in another form) what is indicated in the text. He can use these for quick overviews, as well as for reviewing before tests.


2. Enumerations—If his text uses a lot of enumeration, it could be that this subject has a significant number of lists to be learned. Point him to these lists and show him that often what is listed in the margins or sidebars is also expounded upon within the text.


3. Section headings—The more headings a book contains, the easier it is to learn from. The student is constantly reminded, by the headings and subheadings, of what the section is about. Show him how helpful these headings can be as he uses the book during his reading and for test preparation.


4. Pictorial aids—Maps are always in included in history textbooks. If his textbook contains a large assortment of maps, show him how they can help him see the big picture. Maps usually show where something that is discussed in the text occurred.


5. Glossary—Books that contain glossaries give the student an easy way to find definitions that may be more obscure within the text. Teach him to use this for quick finds, but encourage him to use the text itself for most studying since students who learn vocabulary in context retain it better.


6. Tables of Contents—The Table of Contents can be used somewhat like an index to find where information is in a particular chapter. It is especially good for getting a big picture about a whole chapter.


7. Prefaces, introductions, and summaries—If a text has any of these three, some of the work is already done for the student. Show him how advantageous these are for quick previewing of a chapter.


8. Footnotes—If a student is in a class that requires research papers, footnotes can be a real plus. We teach our research paper students to use lengthy works’ footnotes to find other credible sources that they might use in their papers.


9. Appendixes—Appendixes are the “extra credit” of the book. I always like to thin of myself as a prized pupil, so I tend to gravitate to these right at first, since they’re usually for those who want additional information—and I always want to know more! Tell your students that sometimes the appendixes aren’t even used in the actual course, but they are good for learning more, for research-based reports, and for cementing what is found in the text.


10. Indexes—If a book doesn’t have an index, I say send it back and get a new one! Show your student how quickly he can find information with the index. The more specific the index, the better it is for the student.


11. Bibliography—The bibliography gives lists of books, articles, and documents relating to the subjects in the textbook. Like footnotes, we direct our research paper students to these.


12. Pronunciation guides—These guides give the phonetic markings to aid in reading unfamiliar words. Many texts do not have these guides, but they are helpful in a class where a student will be giving presentations so the can pronounce unknown words correctly.




Any signaling or sign posting that a book contains is that much more opportunity for the visual learner, especially, to learn and retain. If you have an auditory learner, you might have to record his vital info on cd or cassette! Smile…More study skills coming soon!!!

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Twelve Homeschooling Tips–All Twelve Tips! https://characterinkblog.com/twelve-homeschooling-tips-all-twelve-tips/ https://characterinkblog.com/twelve-homeschooling-tips-all-twelve-tips/#respond Tue, 02 Oct 2012 04:47:00 +0000 http://characterinkblog.com/twelve-homeschooling-tips-all-twelve-tips/                                    The Best School Year Ever!*                                         “Twelve Homeschooling Tips for 2012”                                                                        By Donna Reish *Note: This was recently published on this blog in increments of twelve in keeping with our “Twelve for 2012” theme (and in The Homemade News, the newsletter of Fort Wayne Area Homeschools, in two parts). Here I have compiled all of […]

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                                   The Best School Year Ever!*
                                        “Twelve Homeschooling Tips for 2012”
                                                                       By Donna Reish

*Note: This was recently published on this blog in increments of twelve in keeping with our “Twelve for 2012” theme (and in The Homemade News, the newsletter of Fort Wayne Area Homeschools, in two parts). Here I have compiled all of them in one place! Thanks for joining us.

This fall marks the beginning of our twenty-ninth year of homeschooling! Twenty-nine years ago, with an almost-one-year-old in tow, my husband and I began our homeschooling journey by homeschooling my then-junior-high little sister. At that same time, we began helping those who wanted to homeschool in Ohio (our next-door-neighbor state) but needed a “covering” to report to according to their state law during the early eighties.  I did not know much about homeschooling in general and teaching specifically at the age of twenty-one years old (despite an elementary education degree followed by master’s work in reading education), but I dug in as best I could. Little did we know that this adventure would become a way of life for us—a parenting and educational method that has brought us countless joys, challenges, and fulfillment.

Here we are nearly three decades later—still homeschooling and still helping others in their homeschool endeavors. Today I bring you tips that we have discovered on our journey—tips to make this “the best school year ever”!

 

1.     Get Teacher Training and Support

I could go on and on about how little support, scarce materials, and few homeschoolers there were nearly thirty years ago—but I don’t want to be accused of describing how we homeschooled “walking uphill five miles in waist deep snow without shoes,” so suffice it to say that we are immensely blessed to have the support, training, and freedoms that we have today. (For instance, we had “home visits” from the local superintendent, principal, and social workers during our first year of teaching my sister!)

Take advantage of the opportunities available for training! If you are unable to attend physical conventions, learn all you can online, in webcasts, virtual conventions, and more. Read websites and books. However, do not get overwhelmed! Stop reading and researching when that reading and research becomes burdensome rather than helpful.

Additionally, get support! We have enjoyed support groups, networking, and small parenting groups throughout our tenure of homeschooling. One of the best things to happen to me concerning support is the formation, nearly twenty years ago, of a little four-mom parenting/homeschooling support group. We met with our “littles” at McDonalds—and since I like to have a purpose for everything I do, I labeled our group the “MAC” group—Mother’s Advisory Committee, who met at McDonalds. We have taken parenting classes, done marriage videos with our spouses, gone through Bible studies, completed video teaching with our entire families/kids, field tripped, played, prayed, planned, and more.

I can’t stress enough the importance of finding like-minded parents to take this journey with. When one of us wondered why in the world we were doing what we were doing (in parenting, homeschooling, or life in general), the others were there to remind us. It wasn’t uncommon at all for one of us to call another and say, “Okay, Josiah is still in the high chair from breakfast, and he is still screaming and throwing his spoon. Remind me again why I shouldn’t just give him his own way and go on with my day!”

 

2.     Solve Discipline Problems Ahead of Time

If you have heard us speak about parenting young children, you have probably heard us say that we did not believe in starting “school” with a child until he was obedient most of the time. Thus, the reason for many of our children not starting formal education until age eight! Seriously though, the time to deal with discipline issues is before you begin school, if at all possible.

Our theory behind “don’t start school until the child learns to obey” is a valid one: If a child will not sit down at the table for dinner, brush his teeth when told, or clean his room, why do we think he will sit down and do his math, finish his school independent list, or do his science?

This is not to say that you will not have discipline problems as you homeschool. One of Ray’s favorite lines about homeschooling and character problems is that “We have the opportunity to see all of our kids’ faults and discipline problems—and the opportunity to correct them.” Our goal before beginning formal instruction for each new pupil was that the child was “characterized by obedience.” That is, he was known for obedience more often than not.

Obviously, we cannot just not do school this year if our kids are undisciplined. However, we would have a much better year if we really zeroed in on discipline issues and handled them as opposed to going through the motions of school while allowing these problems to continue. There are many excellent books about parenting to help us. There are seminars and video courses. We have the tools available to us to learn to parent biblically and train our children in obedience and character. (See the sidebar for some resources that we offer to help you in the area of Christian parenting as well as a couple other recommendations.)

 

SIDEBAR:

Christian Parenting Help             

Reb Bradley books and articles

Kevin Leman books—we began with Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours

Our parenting/homeschooling book: The Well-Trained Heart (read first chapter at www.tfths.com)

Our parenting seminar: Character Training From the Heart (call to host one in your church or area—260-597-7415)

 

Parenting seminar: Parenting Is Heart Work

Our parenting blog—over 500 articles with topical index on the home page: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/   (Positive Parenting 365—also available on FaceBook)

 

 

3.     Understand Learning Styles and Readiness

My first “homeschool purchase” for our own children twenty-eight years ago was the complete set of audios of “Your Story Hour”—Bible, true life, character, and history stories of the “Uncle Dan and Aunt Sue” venue. I remember clearly running my fingers over the cassette holders, smelling them, and being so happy to have such a quality product to help me teach Joshua. He, on the other hand, was more interested in playing in the box that they came in. Then along came Kayla, one of the smartest little girls I had ever seen, yet she couldn’t write her name for years and years. Both Joshua and Kayla showed me right away what their learning styles were—those audio cassettes, along with daily lengthy read-aloud sessions with Mom, were their avenues for learning for many years, for they could learn nearly anything (except how to write their names!) by listening. Along came our third child, and if it didn’t have pictures and she couldn’t snuggle close, her learning didn’t seem to transpire so easily. (The exception to this is when we began getting Ken Ham audios. She was mesmerized by his voice and wanted to listen to him every day!) Cami was anything but an audio learner. She loved workbooks and activities—the more, the better. We understood early on that we were homeschooling in order to provide the kind of education that we wanted for our children—and the kind that each child needed. Thus, we learned about learning styles and purchased materials accordingly. We used multi-sensory materials and definitely had our non-auditory learners still listen, but focused on their learning styles in the areas of math and reading, especially. There is a wealth of information out there about the three primary learning styles (auditory, visual, and kinesthetic), as well as how to determine how your child learns best.

 

 

Along with learning styles, we also learned early on—through my elementary education studies, my master’s work in Reading Specialist, and then later from Dr. Raymond Moore’s (one of the pioneers of the Christian homeschooling movement)—that readiness does not come at the same time for all children, nor at the same time for each gender. We learned about a phenomenon then called “Integrated Maturity Level”—the level at which many aspects come together for a child and he or she is ready for more formal instruction. This often takes place between the ages of seven and ten. And we set out to wait on it for each of our children—in an effort to make learning easier and to develop a love for learning and homeschooling in them.

Until the time of readiness for formal learning arrived for each child, we taught informally, all of the time. And our kids loved school and loved learning. We even adjusted our school to allow for late bloomers without labels: kindergarten began when a child was six years old by September first; first grade began when a child was seven years old by September first. No pressure—on the children or on me. It was an absolutely blissful way to teach young children. (It also allowed us to focus on obedience and character in those who needed a little more time!) The research is out there! Sure, some kids learn to read at ages four, five, or six. I think that would be fun—I’ve just never experienced it. And that is fine. Every child is different—and remember, that is one reason we chose this approach to education. The point isn’t to wait and wait for formal education. The point is to do what is best for each child in your family.

 (For more information about readiness to learn to read, check out our audios, including, “Beginning Reading Instruction.” For more information about readiness for learning in general, start with Dr. Raymond Moore’s book, Better Late Than Early.)

 

4.     Prioritize Your Life, School, and Home

This point is a three hour mini-seminar and audio series in itself, but I will try to summarize it in a couple of brief paragraphs! When we began homeschooling many years ago, even with only one little son, we found ourselves overwhelmed by activity. Ray and I were both working on our master’s degrees. We were active in church. We were homeschooling my sister and helping others homeschool. We lived close to extended family who needed and wanted our attention (including younger siblings at home). One day we sat down to solve our time and activity dilemma, and we made a list of all of the things that could/did fill our evenings—things we needed to do (meetings, etc.), things we should do (visit elderly grandparents), things we wanted to do, and things that were automatically built in (overtime, church services, etc.). When we examined our list, the total evenings that could potentially be filled came to sixty—if we did everything we could/should/would! Armed with that calendar and prioritizing help from marriage and family teaching we had received, we learned how to prioritize. We looked at the things that we wanted to say yes to—and said yes to them. We looked at the things that we could say no to—and said no to them. We applied the mantra that “when you say yes to something (or someone), you are saying no to something (or someone) else.” We asked ourselves who we truly wanted to say yes and no to—and determined early in our marriage that we did not want to say no to our immediate family (our children and each other) just because we were saying yes to someone else. 

 

Specifically, in the area of prioritizing and time management with homeschooling, when we meet new homeschoolers, we often ask them what their days (especially mothers) are like (before beginning homeschooling), and when the mom tells us how busy she was with part time work, volunteering, and other obligations, we ask her what she will cut from her day to make time (three to six hours a day, depending on the ages and neediness of the students) to homeschool. Homeschooling is not something that you can add onto an already full day. It must be prioritized—and put into the schedule before other things of lesser importance. One of the reasons that I am thankful that we started “homeschooling” when Joshua was a toddler is that I never knew of life with daytime hours that were not already earmarked for school. In other words, my days have always been spent schooling. I didn’t have to add it onto other things that I did during the day. Prioritizing school—the hours that it truly takes to educate and oversee our kids’ education—makes a huge difference in the success of a person’s homeschool.

 

5.     Teach Your Children How to Learn

Homeschooling affords us the amazing opportunity to teach our kids how to learn (among a myriad of opportunities to teach many things!). There are many aspects of teaching a child how to learn, one of which is working to increase our children’s comprehension. When people have good comprehension, they can learn anything, anywhere, anytime. There are three primary ways that we have worked to increase our children’s comprehension: (1) Discussion with parents and those more knowledgeable than the child; (2) Good questions following reading or discussions; and (3) Provide a rich background of experience.

The first two of those go hand-in-hand. Discussion of everything with our children from very young ages has given our kids experiences in areas that they would normally not have experiences in. It gives us the opportunity to teach all the time—and gives them learning hooks that they create with the discussion material to bring into other learning situations. Good questions, not just rote questions, help the student think more deeply about subjects and allow you to observe his thought processes and help them along. Lastly, a rich background of experience gives your student the edge in learning any subject. Like discussion, it gives a child more knowledge, more background, more information to bring into future learning scenarios.

I am adding some information about teaching children how to learn, good materials, links to articles, etc., in the sidebar of this article for those who would like to study this further. Just being aware of always teaching our kids how to learn, how to study, how to research, how to further their understanding is a big step in teaching kids how to learn. An awareness that it is our responsibility, and we can do it gradually all the time, goes a long way.

 

 

 

 

 

SIDEBAR….

                        Tips and Links for Teaching Children How to Learn

 

~People often ask us what we would have done differently in our homeschool. One of the things I would have done differently is that every child, every year would have done a thinking skills book of some sort from the Critical Thinking Company: https://www.criticalthinking.com/index.jsp?code=c

 

 

~Dozens of articles on reading instruction, readability, creating an environment conducive to reading instruction, choosing readers, and much more! https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/search/label/reading%20instruction

 

 

6.     Be Efficient in Your School Day

 

With six children in school for many years (and a baby or toddler too!) , I have been on a personal quest for efficiency in my school day! I have learned so much about time management and efficiency through homeschooling. I will give four primary tips for efficiency in this article, but we have many, many ideas in our audio series, “Helps for Homeschooling Moms: Prioritizing, Organizing, and Scheduling Your Life, School, and Home.”

First of all, I used multi-level learning whenever possible. This included doing unit studies for content areas (history, science, health, etc.) using a bus stop approach to teaching. In the bus stop approach, I started out with all children present for our studies and began with the easiest materials I used. Then as the materials increased in difficulty or decreased in interest for the little ones, I would “drop them off at the bus stops” (i.e. release them to go play, have room time, do chores, etc.) and continue on with higher level material. As the session progressed, little ones would “get off the bus” and go to other things until at the end of the session, I was covering more challenging material that might only interest or pertain to older ones. (We always allowed littles to stay and learn with us while playing Legoes, etc., for the “trickle down effect,” if the child desired!)

Secondly, I grouped students together whenever possible. Our daughters all took high school biology, sewing, and Spanish together—even though they were in grades six, nine, and ten. It was efficient, and they enjoyed studying together.

Third, I always used grading time wisely. I would sit down with the child’s English or math and grade with him or her beside me. As I found an error, we could go over it right there. It was teaching time at its best—teaching directly from the student’s mistakes.

Lastly, we made our students as responsible for their education as they could possibly be at each age. We began early on using daily chore charts and independent school lists. The latter were lists of tasks that each child needed to do every day by himself in school. Thus, any silent reading, handwriting pages, cd roms, and other activities that the child could do without Mom were listed in the order that the student was to do it—and he could just go down the list and do it every day without needing any input or help. This gave me the chance to work with other kids—and I knew that everybody was busy when they were not meeting with me.

 

 

7.     Learn to Teach Like Jesus

Many years ago we were introduced to the concept of teaching like Jesus taught. We have since delved into that further, realizing that Jesus was not only a model of how to teach concepts to our children, but he was also the epitome of relationship building with people. This has helped us in our parenting and discipling of our children in general (not just in “teaching” or homeschooling).

One of the things that has stuck with us the most is the concept of time in Jesus’ teaching. Jesus taught all the time! He taught Nicodemus late at night; he taught during meals via the last supper and other “potluck” style opportunities. This reinforced the concept in Deuteronomy 6:7 of teaching our children all the time—as we do everything—as we live. Along the lines of different time frames, we also noted that Jesus taught varying lengths of time. Sometimes he taught short and straight to the point (the woman at the well). Other times he had lengthy teaching sessions, such as the Sermon on the Mount. Sometimes he taught so long he went right on through meal times! We, too, need to be aware of our audience—and their time limitations, our scheduling needs, etc.

Jesus also used various types of teaching. This reminded us that some kids need a certain type of instruction while others need something else. In Matthew 18:12, Jesus asked the question, “What do you think?” This has become a common mantra for our parenting/teaching. We have wanted to allow the kids to tell us what they already know or what they think—and then we could build on that. Asking open ended questions is a super method for academic training—and for heart training.

Of course, Jesus also taught one-on-one (again, Nicodemus and the woman at the well); small group (twelve disciples); and large group (five thousand). There have been many things in our homeschool that were perfectly suited to one-on-one instruction. Other things were great for small group—and we used unit studies and other “small group” instruction situations with our kids together. Some things were truly best suited to a larger group, such as speech and debate, drama, and choir.

Jesus used storytelling extensively. He used God’s word to tell stories. And he used nature to tell stories—pearls, fish, trees, water were all object lessons. We have taken his concept of using nature to heart. We have used animals via Answers in Genesis materials, zoo trips, etc. We have used Character Sketches books for twenty-nine years to teach character and Bible—half of each book is using nature to teach character! Sometimes we just look at the snow, clouds, stars, ocean—and an instant lesson in spiritual truth presents itself!

Jesus taught in unusual places—which we have found extremely effective and fun—for the kids and parents! Jesus taught in a boat, by a well, on a hillside, in a garden, on the water, under the stars. Kids love surprises and unusual things. And we have enjoyed providing surprises and unusual places to learn—zoos, parks, sleeping at the top of the jungle gym at Science Central, camping out on the “bunks” at the fort, and more have provided us with unusual and enjoyable learning opportunities.

Lastly, Jesus had characteristics of a superior teacher—that we homeschoolers should model after. He knew his audience—and he taught accordingly. He was teachable, even as a teacher: “I only do what I see my Father do.” He had his priorities in order: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33).  And he didn’t “just teach”—he discipled: “Come ye after me” (Mark 1:17). Wow, “to be like Jesus”—to teach like Jesus! Now that would make me a successful homeschooler!

 

 

 

Tip 8: Develop a Love for Learning in Your Children

 

We have entire articles and multi-part workshops on how to develop a love for learning in your children., so writing a few paragraphs about this topic is a challenge! (To read the many parts of a lengthy article called “Creating a Love for Learning in Your Homeschool,” go to https://ati.iblp.org/ati/family/articles/teaching/loveforlearning/ .)

 

First of all, though, I will say that a love for learning is usually not developed in a child who is pushed to learn things for which he is not ready. Period.  It just makes sense. Of course, if a child struggles and struggles to learn to read, and we push and push day after day—even though reading readiness has not been realized, that child will grow to hate reading, learning, and oftentimes, school and homeschooling.

 

Secondly,  model a love for learning for your children. Your children want to be just like you! They might not say it. They might say just the opposite at times, but the fact is, they want to be just like Mom and Dad.

 

The beginning of teaching our children any skill is to model that skill for them. I remember in teacher’s college when the trendy topic was SSR—Sustained Silent Reading. The goal of SSR was to set aside ten or fifteen minutes each school day to have every student reading. The superior teachers were the ones who didn’t grade papers or file their nails during SSR; they read too. The idea was that if the teacher modeled reading for her students, they would follow her example.

 

The same is true for homeschooling parents with modeling a love for learning. Do you force-feed your children what they need to learn, but remain stagnant in your own learning? Do you act as though you already “know it all,” so there is nothing else for you to learn? Do you seek out information about topics you are interested in learning more about?

 

Several years ago when we took a family vacation to Disney World®, I was able to put this “modeling a love for learning” to the test with our children.  I carried (well, whoever carried the backpack actually carried) an eight-hundred-page volume titled, The Unofficial Guide to Disney World®. I pulled it out as we traveled to each park, reading aloud about the best viewing spots for the afternoon parade, the worst hamburgers in the place, and the longest time one has to wait in the mid-morning to ride “Space Mountain.”

 

At first the kids teased me merciless (okay, I did have over a hundred sticky notes of various colors and sizes protruding from the sides of the book—you’re not allowed to highlight in a library book), but then they began asking me what “my book” said about this or that. Eventually, we were fighting over the book during tram, monorail, and bus rides!

 

On the last night, the kids insisted that I cover myself in sticky notes, scatter my “charts” around me (oh, I made charts too), and have my picture taken with my precious book. They saw firsthand how learning new information makes for a great vacation; they came to see the method to Mom’s madness—and I guarantee not one of them will ever take their kids to Disney World without that book! Modeling a love for learning for our children works.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tip 9: Develop a good schedule

When homeschooling moms hear the word “schedule,” they either cringe or celebrate. It seems that there is a division of camps when it comes to scheduling. While those who “celebrate” the schedule might be guilty of micro-managing their children and maybe even putting undue pressure on them, those who ‘cringe” when confronted with the idea of scheduling might suffer from a lack of productivity due to their disdain for schedules.

I have found that you do not have to have a love-hate relationship with schedules, but rather you have to figure out which type of homeschooler you are—one who loves schedules and wants to follow one to the letter or one who doesn’t care for them and would do better with a looser type of schedule that still provides some sense of structure.

If you love schedules, then you will probably do better with a moment-by-moment, or at least hour-by-hour one to guide your day. If you are “allergic” to schedules, you might find a block type of schedule in which you do certain things in a certain order during certain time periods to suit your time management style. I used a combination of both—but always had the “block schedule” in mind for even our toddlers all the way through high school. I divided our day up into “early morning,” “morning,” “noontime,” “early afternoon,” “late afternoon,” “early evening,” “dinner hour,” and “late evening.” While I might not firmly make 10:00-10:30 math for everybody, I always knew (and the kids always knew) what to expect based on the block of time it was.

Regardless of what type of schedule you use, there are a few key things to being successful in homeschool scheduling. I will leave you with a few of these: (a) Change the schedule every few months as needed, based on the ages of your children; (b) Write the schedule out and “advertise” it for everybody in your family to see all the time; and (c) Attach things that are really important to you to things that are already in your schedule.

(a)  Change the schedule as needed. I found especially with little ones that I needed to change the schedule to adjust to their needs and my availability. When I had littles, I actually revised the schedule every season—based on how long the baby was nursing at that time; how long the toddler napped; who could do which chores now; who needed longer blocks of school meetings with me; etc. I wasn’t locked into the exact same schedule for the entire school year, but I changed it as the children changed throughout the year.

(b) Write the schedule and “advertise” it. I posted our schedules on the refrigerator, in the fronts of the kids’ binders, on their lesson plan/check sheets, etc., so that everybody could always look and see what was supposed to be happening in our day at a certain time. The lunch person always knew what time he or she was supposed to be in the kitchen; the laundry person always knew what time laundry was to be done each day. By “publishing” the schedule for all to see, I made it more official—and I could even get Dad involved in helping me enforce it if I had a true, posted schedule.

(c)   Attach important things to things that are already in your schedule. We learned this trick (along with dozens of others) from Gregg Harris twenty-five years ago—and have used it every year since then. He said that if something is really important to you to do in your family, attach that activity to an existing one. For instance, if reading aloud to your children is something you really want in your schedule, attach it to breakfast, lunch, or bedtime—times that are already established in your home. We did this with many, many things—attaching things to existing things until our attachments had attachments attached to them—and our day was one big attachment! J

 

Tip 10: Make your marriage as strong as possible

While I know that there are many single homeschooling parents out there, and I applaud them for they are truly courageous (and oftentimes extremely self-sacrificing to give up income and time on another whole level than we married homeschoolers even do), I also know that if you are married and homeschooling, it is tough, tough, tough to “do it all” with conflict between Mom and Dad.

We have had such outstanding marriage teaching in our thirty-one –plus years of marriage that I cannot imagine our marriage without them. We are grateful, together, nearly weekly, for the foundations in marriage and selflessness that were built within us through our mentors and seminars during our early years together.

While a short tip like this is not the place to solve marital discord, I can take this opportunity to encourage you to seek out help to solve any significant marriage problems. Parenting in general, and homeschooling specifically, are hard on a marriage—so many demands, so many needs. We have had low times in our relationship just like anybody else, but we always fought (together!) for our marriage. We always got help. We always surrendered our own wants to the other eventually.

In homeschooling, a united marriage is more crucial than ever. There are more decisions to be made every single week in a homeschool family than if someone else is taking care of your children’s education (and all daytime needs) for you. Try to set aside time to talk about those decisions, child discipline, schedules, attitudes, spiritual growth, and more. It isn’t easy, but your kids are worth it—and your marriage is worth it.

If you have marriage difficulties that cannot be solved simply by talking through them or reading a book, we recommend that you run, not walk, to get help. We have heard amazing reports about “A Weekend to Remember” (marriage seminars by FamilyLIfe by Dennis Rainey). One of the best marriage seminars we have ever been to (and we have been to tons of workshops, sessions, seminars, etc.) was by Dr. Sharon Hart May (author of “How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen”). She truly understands people in general and couples specifically. (She does weekend seminars and has private, lengthy counseling sessions at a few locations around the country.)

 

 

Tip 11: Learn to Be Organized

 

While I like to cut people slack whenever possible, it feels like we homeschoolers have become too lax sometimes. Yes, there will be “those days”; however, just like in parenting in general, when we have more of “those days” than we do true learning days, we might be in danger of becoming too laid back. One of the best ways to ensure that we are getting the things done that we need to get done is to get organized.

Organization, much like scheduling, often falls into two camps—those who know/think they are and those who know they are not (and often feel that they can never become so).  Running a homeschool (and even running a family, in many ways) is much like running a business. A company runs  better when it is organized, and so does our homeschool.

We all have areas in which we are more organized than others; we all have things that we can seem to keep running smoothly—and those things that just seem to elude us when we try to get organized.  A big part of organization is being able to prioritize, delegate, and get rid of (not have in our lives). What I have found—and what I continually tell my grown children—is that you cannot do everything in life well all at the same time. It is unrealistic (and defeating) to think you can “do it all” and do it well. This is why so many people (and I do this still sometimes even though I know the truth!) say, “I can keep good meals on the table and school running well, but as soon as XXX starts (soccer, 4-H, farming season…whatever), it all falls apart. Time is a simple mathematical formula—and too much activity or too many things in the schedule over a twenty-four hour period will use up the time—and leave you with a time deficit, and, in turn, that feeling that “I just can’t do it all.” Because truly, you (and I) cannot.

Since we often speak on time management, prioritizing, organizing, and scheduling, people automatically think I am extremely organized—which I am—in the areas that I am able to handle. My mom used to tell me that I am the most disorganized organized person that she has ever known, proving what I said above. I cannot do it all (and I never act like I can—I just skip the things I can’t do; it’s just the way it is); thus, the areas that I am running (i.e. keeping the plates going) are fairly well run and organized. The areas that I have chosen to eliminate or ignore are neither well run nor organized. For example, we have four adults/teens in two bedrooms upstairs in a small house. I don’t have the time or money to organize it, get more dressers and closets, etc., so I simply do not go upstairs. I’m sure it is a disaster up there, but that’s okay…in order to be organized and prioritized in the other areas that I can handle, some other things have to just be okay even if they are far from perfect.

In summary, and for the purposes of this short article, prioritizing is the first step to organization—getting your life down to the truly important things to you and your spouse and ridding your life of the lesser things (at least lesser to you—some people could never handle knowing the two bedrooms upstairs are disastrous!). Then you have a shot at being organized. Then you have a chance at managing the remaining time and energy needs for your family. For me, I am happier, and feel much more organized, when I pare down my life to a certain number of hours a day in school, work, housework, work, relationships, parenting, cooking, etc. If I try to put more in my life than what the mathematical time formula allots me, I cannot be organized, but only frustrated.

Once you have pared down your life to the things that are the most crucial things, then you can apply all sorts of organizing techniques to it, such as scheduling (see above), chore sessions, tutoring sessions of meeting with your children on their subjects, managing block schedules so that everybody knows what is up during that time period, and much more.

 

Tip 12: Have Fun and Enjoy Your Children

            I know there are so many pressures, needs, and responsibilities in homeschooling, so much so, that it makes it difficult sometimes to enjoy the process. I have few regrets in our life of homeschooling and method of parenting. Oh, there are always some, but not a ton, and I’m so grateful for that. One of the things I do regret is spending so much time on living (i.e. always feeling the need to cook homemade, garage sale organize clothing into huge tubs, make just one more dish for company, and more). There are many of those things that I couldn’t change. As most of you know, living on one income with several children usually forces us to have to spend a lot of time on the areas of cooking, clothing, etc., in order to save money. However, sometimes I put so much pressure on myself to do this or that (and oftentimes it was to meet others’ expectations, I’m afraid) that I stressed myself and my children out. A stressed homeschooling mother does not enjoy homeschooling!

            So my advice to enjoy homeschooling is to not sweat the little things (doing everything perfectly, trying to do extra things that are not truly needed, etc.) and focus instead on the big things. The big things, to me, are the spiritual growth of my children, our relationships, their health and well being, and their education. If I could garage sale enough to clothe everybody all winter or can enough green beans to last us until spring—and do the “big” things—power to me. But if not, I wish I had let the lesser things go sometimes.

            Organizing, disciplining our children in love, developing deep relationships with our kids, having a schedule that works for our family, prioritizing the most important things to us, creating a love for learning in our children, keeping our marriage strong—these things can help you to have “the best school year ever”—and that is my prayer for you.

 

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