Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient—and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. (Of course, without relationship, we as parents have no desire or motivation to try to explain rules, listen to their appeals, or remain consistent in our parenting.) Relationship must be in place in order to keep our children from rebelling against us.

Recipe for Rebellion

Rules Without Reasons
Rules Without Response
Rules Without Repetition
Rules Without Relationship

Love covers a multitude of parenting problems. However, I will note that we can chisel away the relationship we do have with any of the previous three ingredients in our rule making. Even if we have a strong relationship in place with our children and have secured their hearts, we can cause them to take back pieces of their hearts little by little when we do not have logical rules, do not listen to them, and do not have consistency.

Likewise, an incredibly strong relationship can cause our children to accept our decisions even if we do have some of the other three undesirable ingredients. If our children know that we are trying to do what is in their best interest, and that we would not simply make rules to throw our weight around, they will more easily accept those times when our rule making is less than logical or consistent.

Keeping Teens Close

I look back on the time when our three oldest children began entering their teen years, and it seems a miracle that we were able to keep them so close. I know that there were some key experiences during that time that held us together, in spite of our tendency to not always think when making rules and guidelines. The most significant thing that kept our children true to us during that time was love.

More than anything else, love ruled our home. We might have had some wacko rules, many of which had no logical basis. We might have taken away a lot of things from them that other kids got to do or have (and continue to do so). But we always loved unselfishly. We loved them enough to do whatever it took to stay close to them.

Paul’s declaration about ruling with love is what made those years successful in spite of not knowing what we were doing! In Philemon 1: 8-9, Paul told the people that he could have forced them to do what he wanted them to do (which is how some parents handle things), but instead he wanted to love them into doing what he asked: “…although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love” (NKJV).

When we appeal to our children on the basis of love–even if we do not have it all figured out ourselves yet–their response is completely different than if we appeal to them with unlimited, tyrannical authority.

Talk often…

We need to talk and talk often—for many of the 52 reasons and in many of the 52 ways. But one of the most important times to talk is when you want to build a relationship with your kids.

The quote by Frederick Douglass: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” speaks to this. We can talk and talk and talk and build close relationships with our children now (in spite of the time and effort it takes during these busy years) or we can try to repair things later. It is much easier (even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time) to build strong relationships with our children right now through talking.

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The post 52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Building Relationships appeared first on Character Ink.

Make your home a center—a center for learning, a center for growing up together, a center for spiritual formation, a center for relationship building, a center for caring—and your kids will know that you want to spend time with them. There is nothing that can stop a child who knew his parents loved to be with him!

EARLY YEARS

1. Malachi time/Daddy tuck in—the beginning of a long tradition of availability to our children
2. Who has their shoes on/never go alone! Smile
3. Little snatches of time—kitchen time,
4. Date night

MIDDLE YEARS and UP

1. Continue Malachi time (be careful of squeakiest wheels!)
2. Dinner time
3. Terrific Tuesday/Wonderful Wednesday/Super Saturday! (Note: Invest in olders for trickle down effect!)
4. Family meetings/living room time (three or four evenings at home together each week?)
5. Twalks
6. Half birthdays
7. Bible talks
8. Drive time
9. Penny for your thoughts; a nickel for a hug; and a dime if you tell me that you love me—and other object lessons
10. “My Day”
11. Drive time to activities
12. Consistent/frequent traditions

TEENS and YOUNG ADULTS

1. Who’s available on their cell phone?
2. Texting
3. FB Messaging/emailing
4. Driving practice
5. Half birthdays and other special dates
6. When you “sit” in your house (Deut 5)
7. Hanging out (emphasizing availability)
8. The way to our teens’ hearts—through their stomachs Smile
9. Vacations and Staycations
10. Watching and listening (videos and audios)

AVAILABILITY

Your secret parenting weapon! Make yourself available. Change YOUR schedule. Drop the busy-ness. Add the heart-focused parenting that is needed to raise tweens and teens well.

MY DAY Notes

(1) Special focus—I tried to praise, affirm, spend more time with, tie heart strings more, etc. for that child on that day—without the child actually knowing it!

(2) Sitting in the front seat if we went anywhere (Because we only went places one or two days a week during the day during the week when my older children were little, we had to alternate whose day it was each week because otherwise, for example, the Monday or Tuesday child would seldom get to sit in the front seat since we seldom went anywhere early in the week.)

(3) Sitting closest to Mom during morning read aloud and afternoon story time

(4) Saying the prayer during breakfast and lunch

(5) Getting to choose two stories instead of one at story time (and getting their stories read first and last)

(6) Getting to have a longer talk time (Malachi time) with Dad that night before bed

(7) Helping Mom cook dinner that day (before they could cook meals entirely by themselves)

(8) Doing an extra job from the job jar

(9) Taking a morning or afternoon “twalk” (talk and walk) with Mom

Links

Podcasts:

• Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Parenting Times
• Teens: The Recipe for Rebellion and Ingredients for Intimacy

Blog Posts:

• Four Things Teens and Young Adults Need
• Teaching Children to Ask Questions
• The One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything
• A is for Affirmation

Listen to the podcast here!

The post Podcast Notes for “Ways To Spend More Time With Your Kids” appeared first on Character Ink.

Donna Reish, Character Ink Press author of fifty language arts/writing curriculum books and co-author/presenter of Raising Kids With Character parenting seminar (and blog), presents suggestions on how to spend more time with your kids in the upcoming year. On this Wondering Wednesday podcast episode, Donna answers parents questions about how to squeeze in more “kid time” in the midst of busy-ness, how to make each child feel special in large families, and more. Drawing on thirty-three years of parenting experience of seven children (ages seventeen to thirty-three) in a family in which both Mom and Dad have spent countless hours building strong relationships with their kids, Donna brings insights on this topic from very young to young adults.

Download the podcast notes here.

Listen to previous podcasts here.

The post Podcast: Ways to Spend More Time With Your Kids appeared first on Character Ink.

Listen to the podcast here!

Recipe for Rebellion

• Rules Without Reasons
• Rules Without Response
• Rules Without Repetition
• Rules Without Relationship

Rules Without Reasons

Replace this part of the recipe with explanations, teaching, and instructions that will stay with your children a lifetime.

Why Tell Children the Reasons Why?

1. It is how God deals with us.

2. It helps our children “own” the lifestyle choices and rules we are making when we do.

3. It is aggravating for the child if we do not.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Rules Without Response

1. “No-Response-Allowed” Is Aggravating!

“Fathers, don’t aggravate your children, if you do they will become discouraged and quit trying” Colossians 3:21 (NLT).

2. “No-Response-Allowed” Handicaps Our Children in Their Future Decision Making

3. “No-Response-Allowed” Is Not How God Treats Us!

4. “No-Response-Allowed” Causes Our Children to Argue With Us

Guidelines for the Appeal

1. Use the same key words all the time: “May I appeal?” OR “Can we talk about this?” OR “Can we discuss this further?”

2. If the appeal is disrespectful or done in anger, it is turned down immediately.

3. If the appeal is a series of whines and complaints, rather than a truly godly appeal, it is turned down.

4. If a child begins disagreeing a lot or constantly trying to appeal, the appeal process is terminated for a period of time until that person learns to accept Mom and Dad’s rules more often than not.

5. If the appeal process becomes an argument, it is ended.

6. If the person appealing is turned down, but later has more information (“new evidence”), he may re-appeal that topic.

7. The appeal is truly listened to and thought through by Mom and Dad. Do not pretend to listen to appeals, but not regard your children’s pleas. This is another “Recipe for Rebellion” in itself. (Kids know if the appeal process is just a formality and you are not truly listening to them.)

8. The person appealing is not constantly interrupted by Mom and Dad with justifications. The child should not be patronized during an appeal, but carefully listened to and respected.

9. Once the answer to the appeal is given, the matter must be dropped for the time being. Granted, it might need re-visited, but to continue the appeal once an answer is given is arguing, not appealing.

10. Parents must agree on the answer to the appeal at the time. Later, behind closed doors, discussion between Mom and Dad may need to take place, but in front of the child, a united front is imperative.

Rules Without Repetition

1. Inconsistency Hinders Many Areas

2. Inconsistency Creates a Poor Testimony

3. Causes our children to distrust us

Rules Without Relationship

→Most important “recipe ingredient” to get rid of! Relationship must be in place in order to keep our children from rebelling against us.

In Philemon 1: 8-9, Paul told the people that he could have forced them to do what he wanted them to do (which is how some parents handle things), but instead he wanted to love them into doing what he asked: “…although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love” (NKJV).

Recommended Resources

Leman, Kevin. Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. (affiliate link) New York: Dell Publishing Company, 1987.

Note: The Recipe for Rebellion and other teen information this week is being excerpted, in part, from our parenting book The Well-Trained Heart.

The post Podcast Notes for “Teens – The Recipe for Rebellion and the Ingredients for Intimacy” appeared first on Character Ink.

Download the podcast notes here.

Listen to previous podcasts here.

Click HERE to subscribe to our weekly e-newsletters and receive this FREE download of nine printable posters to use with your kids.  Already subscribed?  You’ll find link in this week’s newsletter for these posters:)

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The post Podcast: Teens – The Recipe for Rebellion and the Ingredients for Intimacy appeared first on Character Ink.

Download the podcast notes here.

Listen to previous podcasts here.

 Click HERE to subscribe to our weekly e-newsletters and receive this FREE download with worksheets to use with your kids.  Already subscribed?  You’ll find link in this week’s newsletter for these worksheets 🙂

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The post Podcast: Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Training Times appeared first on Character Ink.

Our son and daughter-in-law whom this post is based on are coming up to their first anniversary of marriage. And we were so thankful that we helped guide them through their dating and engagement years. Thought we would re-run this one as it is almost always pertinent to someone! 🙂

Our first “guinea pig”! Our first born child, Joshua (31), with his wife of ten years. They put up with our novice parenting skills during their courtship and engagements–but I am so thrilled with the loving, romantic, deferential, and fun marriage that they have!

Yes, you read that title right! Our twenty-one year old engaged son (soon to be married–in four months!) NEEDS his parents.

(As a side note, ever since we have had sixteen, eighteen, and twenty year olds, we have believed that sixteen to twenty is actually the highest need time for our kids in terms of parental guidance and input….but that is another post for another day.)

There are key things that we can do to help Jonathan be a great boyfriend, awesome fiance–and soon, fantastic husband!

BFFs for two years; a couple for two more; engaged for six months–the sweet, happy couple

Jonathan and Maelynn have been engaged for six months, a couple for two and a half years, and best friends for two years prior to that. Jonathan is our third child to get married, so we have quite a bit of experience in the boyfriend/fiance department (as well as a mishap or two along the way–there is no perfect way to help our kids find their way in the romantic relationship/marriage department!).

We have been extremely active in Jonathan and Maelynn’s relationship from the beginning (as we have been for all three marrieds and another daughter in a serious relationship now). But not just Mom and Dad–the siblings kept their phones handy on the night that Jonathan was to propose–and texts, pictures, well-wishes, and love you’s were flying across cell phone lines throughout the night.

So here are five ways we can help our sons be good boyfriends/fiances–with this list making the assumption that said son is old enough to get married or consider getting married and the girl he is in a relationship with will likely become his wife in due time. (When to start relationships, lengths of relationships, serial dating, etc., are all topics for another post, again, on another day.)

One of the perks of being in a great relationship with your kids–getting to help them plan the fun things of life–here Ray is helping the kids plan and reserve their honeymoon!

1. Start with YOUR relationship with your son

In other words, don’t let him get himself into just any relationship. As Jonathan and Maelynn’s friendship grew, so did our time with Jonathan. There was a lot to do emotionally and spiritually, after all!

We were there from the beginning—helping him decide how to pursue the relationship, coaching him on how to talk with her dad, encouraging him to tell her his heart, and guiding him in the path that appeared to be unfolding before him.

By starting the relationship with our sons, we can help them during the initial stages–help them avoid heartache, see things that they cannot see, etc. Obviously, this “starting the relationship with him” takes a lot of pre-relationship heart work. We had to have such a strong relationship with Jonathan (and Joshua, age thirty-one, ten years ago) that he WANTED us to be a part of what was going on–that he sought out our counsel, encouragement, wise words, vision, etc. (See TEENS posts at Raising Kids With Character!)

Family days can provide lots of time to talk, see how the relationship is progressing, have fun, and help our son learn how to be the best boyfriend ever!

2. Be available for both of them

When Jonathan and Maelynn became a couple (and had both parents’ blessings to pursue each other), one of the first things that we did was take them to dinner and tell them flat out that we were available. I believe my husband’s words were something like “We are super excited about your relationship and really pray that it works out wonderfully. We want you to know that we are always available for you. That we will be here to cheer you, to support you, to encourage you, to help you. That we are always here.”

Then we followed up–texts to both of them help us keep a pulse on the relationship. Time with just the four of us when they are home from college gives us further glimpses into the hearts of these amazing young people. Long phone calls about wedding plans (okay, and yes, spread sheets that I make in Excel to help them stay on track with wedding preps!) continue to let them know that these parents aren’t going anywhere any time soon.

3. Check on the girl’s heart through your son

Boys are not naturally sensitive, intuitive beings (okay, I’ll say it–men are not naturally this way either). Jonathan has unusual kindness, sensitivity, intuitiveness, and compassion–but even he overlooks things in their relationship at times.

We constantly check with Jonathan on Maelynn’s heart: “How do you think Maelynn feels about that?” “Did Maelynn say that is what she wants too?” “Is Maelynn still struggling with this or that? If so, how are you helping her?” “How have you deferred to Maelynn lately?” “Are you putting her first after the Lord–and does she know it?”

Without Jonathan even realizing it, we are helping him learn to be the type of husband that Maelynn will want in the future. We are actually “parenting”–but without curfews, punishments, or constant lessons. These “heart checks” continually give Jonathan the tools he needs to grow as a fiance’.

With these “Maelynn heart checks” also come encouragement and affirmation for Jonathan when he is being a great fiance. During a recent phone conversation I had with Jonathan, he said that he had asked Maelynn specifically what she wanted to do on the four year anniversary of her mother’s death–and then he told me that they had taken the afternoon off from school and walked on Lake Michigan (near their campus), talked about her mom and anything Maelynn wanted to talk about, then read together from “Five Love Languages” (not sure where he ever got such a notion!! ; 0 ). That evening they watched a movie and relaxed. He had discovered what his girl needed on this difficult day and set out to make it happen.

I gushed, “Oh Jonathan. You are such an amazing fiance. You seek out Maelynn’s needs and then try to meet them. That was so special. I am so proud of you for your sensitivity and care for her.” See—teaching, training, encouraging, and affirming–all because of availability and asking the right questions.

4. Check on the couple’s physical relationship often

My husband is the type of father who loves to ask questions. He feels that the kids can learn more through their answers to our questions than they would if we just gave them the answer or told them how we wanted things.

The same is true in the area of romance. When our kids begin a relationship, he asks them what their physical plans are, point blank. “Do you see yourselves holding hands or hugging?” “How about arms around each other or leaning on each other while watching a movie?” “Do you plan to kiss during the courtship period, engagement period, or not at all (before marriage) on the lips?”

Then he listens. Then he gives them input. (“You guys have a long three years ahead of you in this relationship. I agree that kissing should be reserved for the engagement period.”) He can confirm, add to, give advice, etc., because he asked them first. And then, guess what? They ask him what he thinks! (Sneaky, huh???)

Ray asks them how they are going to stay true to their commitments in this area first (again). We help them design safeguards for their physical relationship–no kissing in the car, no being alone at one of your homes, etc.

Once the parameters have been set in the physical relationship (by the couple, with our input), we can help them stay true to their physical commitments. Ray has asked our sons who have been in relationships exactly how things are going on a regular basis.

We are helping our son be a good boyfriend (then fiance–and eventually husband) when we walk through appropriate physical contact with them from the beginning–and check on them often. Our future daughter-in-law deserves a husband who keeps his word and loves her enough to honor their pre-marital intimacy decisions.

5. Encourage your son to have fun and make things special

We want all of our married kids to be hopeless romantics like us!

Ray and I are hopeless romantics! We ballroom dance nearly every weekend because with each song “there is a three minute period in which nobody needs anything and the only people in the world are the two of us.” (Told you we were hopeless!)

And we encourage our kids in relationships to be romantic, spontaneous, fun, and surprise-filled. When Jonathan and Maelynn first started dating two and a half years ago, Ray told them to make a list of all the fun things they wanted to do together during their summer school break (after work, of course!). He told them to check it every week and be sure to do something fun each week.

Long mornings at an old, dusty book shop, long walks in the park, singing together, movies, and concerts are some of the fun things Jonathan and Maelynn enjoy doing together.

Before they got engaged six months ago, the entire family called Jonathan one-by-one to offer advice on the perfect engagement night. It was loads of fun–and encouraged Jonathan to not just get engaged but to really GET ENGAGED! 😉

A couple of days before the big night, when Jonathan was heading out to go back to college, my husband slid him a fifty dollar bill and told him to “go ahead and take her to The Melting Pot. You want this night to be as special as it can be.” Yes, I had to go two weeks without a dinner date with my husband–but it was worth it to us to help Jonathan afford a super special engagement night. Encourage romance in your son–this really makes a girlfriend/fiance happy!

We even tell the boys that it is Scriptural to have fun and “cheer” your wife: “When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business; but he shall be free at home one years, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken” (Deuteronomy 24:5). I know, I know…taking a verse out of context, but doesn’t that verse say something about how God views a marriage relationship and the husband’s role to make the wife happy????

Occasionally, we just ask Jonathan, “Other than studying together for twelve hours on Saturday, what special thing did you do with Maelynn this weekend?” It can be as simple as walking downtown Chicago, playing in the game room at the college, or renting a movie for the two of them–but we don’t want him to skip special things even in the midst of busy-ness (and two very serious, studious college kids!).

Additionally, we like to have fun with the sweet couple. It isn’t uncommon at all for Jonathan to get a text from me giving him a potential schedule for when he is coming home to see if he and Maelynn can join us for pizza night, game night, park day, or a movie out. Being in these settings with the two of them helps us see how their relationship is going and what we can recommend to Jonathan to be a better boyfriend/fiance.

Fun family times with the couple also give us chances to listen to Maelynn when she talks and point out little things that Jonathan might miss. (It isn’t uncommon at all to hear my husband talking to one of the marrieds or dating kids on the phone and say, “I heard ____ say this the other night. What do you think he/she is feeling?” OR “When ____ said this, I didn’t feel like you were really listening.”) In addition to potentially helping a current situation, we are also helping to train our son or daughter’s ears for really listening to the other person.

Trust me, you WANT your son to be a good boyfriend/fiance to the woman he is going to marry because it lays the groundwork for his marriage relationship. This is the perfect opportunity for us to help our son hone the relationship skills (empathy, kindness, generosity, compassion, selflessness, love, deference, etc.) that he has been learning at home for the past eighteen or twenty years. Our training years are not over just because our son is in a serious relationship. He still needs us–and his girlfriend/fiance will be overjoyed that we helped him become a better boyfriend/fiance!

Pre-marital time with his girlfriend/fiance is the perfect opportunity for him to hone those relationship skills and character qualities that he has been learning at home since he was little.

The post Five Ways to Help Your Son Be a Good Boyfriend/Fiance appeared first on Character Ink.

When I was in elementary school, I had a friend who came from a big family. When we were in sixth grade, I believe there were already eight children in the family—and my friend was the oldest. When I went to her house to stay overnight, three things stood out to me: how her parents made them recite and pray before bed (they were devout Catholics whose children memorized catechisms and the Lord’s Prayer, etc.); how hard her mother worked—from first thing in the morning until she tucked the kids in; and that her mother made homemade bread all the time.

Fast forward several years later, and I had another friend whom I would stay overnight with in junior high. This mother had a home business (beautician in a shop attached to their house), and she, too, was a diligent mother, but that isn’t what stood out the most to me. The thing I remember most about this mother is that she sang all the time. She would be washing someone’s hair in her shop, and I would hear her humming away; however, when she was in the house doing chores, she would sing at the top of her lungs—beautiful, melodious, life-giving songs.

From these early experiences, I formed a picture in my mind of the kind of mother I wanted to be—a spiritual-teaching, hard-working, bread-baking, beautifully-singing mother. I wanted to be part Mrs. Leugers and part Mrs. Kessler.

And I admit it. I started out mothering that way—minus the “beautifully singing” part—however, I did sing all the time around the house, beautiful or not. These images stayed with me forever, and occasionally they would pop in my mind—remember the kind of mom you wanted to be?

I rarely bake bread these days since we only have a couple of kids at home and my writing and teaching are demanding of my time; however, I do remind myself often that when I was but a child, I knew what kind of mom I wanted to be. I go back to those ideals and look at my current situation: how am I measuring up?

Maybe you have mental snapshots of what kind of parent you dreamed of being when you were a little boy or girl. Or maybe your grandiose parenting ideals stemmed from when you held your first baby in your arms—and vowed in your heart to love him, impart God’s truths to him, be patient with him, play with him, teach him right from wrong, and much more. Whatever your “parenting dream” may have been—it’s never too late to go back and be what you wanted to be—to follow your mom or dad heart.

The post Be the Kind of Mom You Have Always Dreamed of Being appeared first on Character Ink.

Three years ago we were asked to tell our love language stories on a promo/surprise video that Gary Chapman’s publisher was going to put together for him as a surprise for the twentieth year celebration of his initial Five Love Languages book.  We were excited to do it as his books, including the application of his teaching on love languages, made such a huge impact on our parenting over the past twenty years.

To fully appreciate this short video snippet (our portion of the promo video), you have to hear the darling story of when we first discovered that the five love languages were alive and well in the Reish home.

Ray and I were taking a parenting course/support group (told you we were parenting seminar and book junkies!) when the teacher gave us Chapman’s first love language book and asked us to read it over the next week and give an oral book report to the class the following week. We read it aloud together, and we had a lot of fun trying to guess each of our olders’ primary and secondary languages. Any time one of the kids said or did something, we would say, “See…told you his was _____.”

The evening of our class came, and true to form on class nights (they were held in our home), I was rushing around to get dinner on the table, get the kids around, etc., so that we could have everything ready when people arrived. Ray pulled in the drive-way, and everybody got excited.

Here is where all of our questions about our four olders’ primary love languages were answered:

Joshua (first born, about thirteen at the time; now thirty-two) and I raced through the house, into the garage, and out to the drive-way, acting like we were pushing each other (Joshua is one of the most gentle young men in the world and would NEVER push his mother—or anybody for that matter!), and shouting to each other: “I get him first. I need him more than you do.” “You get him all the time. I need to tell Dad some things.” etc. etc.: LOVE LANGUAGE: TIME….and, yes, still to this day!

Kayla (first daughter, about ten at the time; now twenty-nine) sat in her usual spot at dinner and said the words that she often said to her family members: “Dad, try these muffins. I made them today just for you!” LOVE LANGUAGE: ACTS OF SERVICE….and yes, still to this day!

Cami (second daughter, third child, about nine at the time; now twenty-seven) pulled something out from under her chair at dinner: “Here, Daddy. I made this painting for you today!” LOVE LANGUAGE: GIFTS….and yes, still to this day!

Kara (third daughter, middle child, about six at the time; now twenty-four) stood up and twirled around and around beside Ray’s chair: “Look, Daddy, Mommy got me this new dress at a garage sale. Do you think it’s pretty?” LOVE LANGUAGE: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION….and yes, still to this day!

Within one hour’s time—within minutes before our oral book report was due—all four of our older kids affirmed what we had believed about their love languages. How cool is that?

Here is the video clip of our portion of Mr. Chapman’s surprise video:

To purchase any of Mr. Chapman’s books on Amazon, click here.  (Affiliate link)

The post Ray and Donna on Five Love Languages Promo Video appeared first on Character Ink.

This homeschool benefit is especially important to me. When I first learned about homeschooling, I happened to be in my very last semester at Ball State University studying elementary education. I read four books by Dr. Raymond Moore as I was
graduating and finishing up my degree. (I was given these books by someone
in my church.)

I can remember making notes in my margin as I was taking class notes that
said “If this is true, why don’t we do it in school?” “This is why
homeschooling might be better.” “Wow, you can actually do this in
homeschooling!”

I was amazed! We were learning about learning in children.  As I was
studying how children learn, the differences between boys and girls, late
bloomers versus early bloomers, and even Piaget’s Theory of when levels of
development take place, I was realizing, as a 21-year-old mother of one
toddler, that with homeschooling, you could you all all of the things that I
was learning in college –but that couldn’t be done in the classroom.

Fast forward several years later when our second child was starting school.
Kayla was a curious, intelligent, creative seven-year-old dyslexic,
dysgraphic student. By this time, I had learned enough from Dr. Raymond
Moore to know that I needed to wait for her to be ready in order for her to
learn to read.

This advice was amazing! She learned to read when she was nine, and she
learned to write/spell  (though not very strong and spelling) at age twelve.
If she had been in school, she would’ve been labeled and put in a slow or
learning disabled class.

Fast forward again about ten to fifteen years later, and that same late
bloomer, dyslexic, dysgraphic student received a perfect score on the ACT
verbal portion two times, went on to write language arts curriculum for
elementary students, wrote a biographical compilation for young readers,
wrote two books for missionaries on health and nutrition that are used
around the world today, and is working on her fifth degree.

You would be hard-pressed to find someone who thinks the whole school
benefit number two is more of a benefit than our family. Of course, it
wasn’t only Kayla who benefited from learning at her own pace. We were able
to wait for readiness in all areas for all of our children – potty training,
moving to a big bed, learning to read, learning to write, learning to drive.
These have all been areas in which our children were able to learn at their
own pace rather than being pushed when they were not ready. Of course, there
are many other areas too. In a nutshell, homeschooling can be tailor-made to
each child….so many benefits, too many to count! 🙂

I get very sad when I see homeschoolers who do not take advantage of this
benefit. They are moved by peer pressure or grandparent pressure or Sunday
school pressure to turn around and pressure their children to learn when
they’re not ready. Take advantage of this homeschool benefit! And let your
children learn at their own pace.

The post Homeschool Benefit #2: Children Can Learn At Their Own Pace! appeared first on Character Ink.