Make your home a center—a center for learning, a center for growing up together, a center for spiritual formation, a center for relationship building, a center for caring—and your kids will know that you want to spend time with them. There is nothing that can stop a child who knew his parents loved to be with him!
EARLY YEARS
1. Malachi time/Daddy tuck in—the beginning of a long tradition of availability to our children
2. Who has their shoes on/never go alone! Smile
3. Little snatches of time—kitchen time,
4. Date night
MIDDLE YEARS and UP
1. Continue Malachi time (be careful of squeakiest wheels!)
2. Dinner time
3. Terrific Tuesday/Wonderful Wednesday/Super Saturday! (Note: Invest in olders for trickle down effect!)
4. Family meetings/living room time (three or four evenings at home together each week?)
5. Twalks
6. Half birthdays
7. Bible talks
8. Drive time
9. Penny for your thoughts; a nickel for a hug; and a dime if you tell me that you love me—and other object lessons
10. “My Day”
11. Drive time to activities
12. Consistent/frequent traditions
TEENS and YOUNG ADULTS
1. Who’s available on their cell phone?
2. Texting
3. FB Messaging/emailing
4. Driving practice
5. Half birthdays and other special dates
6. When you “sit” in your house (Deut 5)
7. Hanging out (emphasizing availability)
8. The way to our teens’ hearts—through their stomachs Smile
9. Vacations and Staycations
10. Watching and listening (videos and audios)
AVAILABILITY
Your secret parenting weapon! Make yourself available. Change YOUR schedule. Drop the busy-ness. Add the heart-focused parenting that is needed to raise tweens and teens well.
MY DAY Notes
(1) Special focus—I tried to praise, affirm, spend more time with, tie heart strings more, etc. for that child on that day—without the child actually knowing it!
(2) Sitting in the front seat if we went anywhere (Because we only went places one or two days a week during the day during the week when my older children were little, we had to alternate whose day it was each week because otherwise, for example, the Monday or Tuesday child would seldom get to sit in the front seat since we seldom went anywhere early in the week.)
(3) Sitting closest to Mom during morning read aloud and afternoon story time
(4) Saying the prayer during breakfast and lunch
(5) Getting to choose two stories instead of one at story time (and getting their stories read first and last)
(6) Getting to have a longer talk time (Malachi time) with Dad that night before bed
(7) Helping Mom cook dinner that day (before they could cook meals entirely by themselves)
(8) Doing an extra job from the job jar
(9) Taking a morning or afternoon “twalk” (talk and walk) with Mom
Links
Podcasts:
- Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Parenting Times
- Teens: The Recipe for Rebellion and Ingredients for Intimacy
Blog Posts:
- Four Things Teens and Young Adults Need
- Teaching Children to Ask Questions
- The One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything
- A is for Affirmation
Listen to the podcast here!
