{"id":799,"date":"2012-02-14T21:03:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-15T02:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/valentines-day-empathy-training-in-our-homes\/"},"modified":"2015-06-05T14:07:30","modified_gmt":"2015-06-05T18:07:30","slug":"valentines-day-empathy-training-in-our-homes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/valentines-day-empathy-training-in-our-homes\/","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s Day–Empathy Training in Our Homes"},"content":{"rendered":"

                               Teaching Children Empathy on Valentine\u2019s Day<\/strong><\/span>
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                                             Reprint From 2010 Blogpost<\/span>

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\u201cOne heart is worth it all; one life; one family\u2026touched by the love of Christ expressed through a caring church.\u201d<\/strong><\/span>
                            One Heart Disability Ministry<\/strong><\/span>

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Valentine\u2019s Day is the perfect time to focus on empathy. Empathy is taking love one step further. It is feeling how someone else might feel\u2014and acting on that feeling. The \u201cday of love\u201d is the perfect time to focus on empathy\u2014to add this important dimension to the character training of your children. <\/span>

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One of the things that we never allowed our children to do was to make fun of the weak or the disabled. Calling somebody \u201cretarded\u201d or \u201ccrippled,\u201d or some such other name was strictly forbidden. However, we didn\u2019t just not let them speak ill of or make fun of those people, we taught them to show love and compassion to them. <\/span>

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From their earliest years, when we saw somebody who was needy, we would explain to the children that we do not know what that person goes through. That we cannot understand that person\u2019s pain and suffering. And that we should lift those people up, not tear them down. <\/span>

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If you read much of what we have written, you will quickly learn that we feel that one of the most valuable parenting tools that we have at our disposal is that of discussion. This is especially true when it comes to empathy training. We have always discussed people\u2019s hurts with our children (at appropriate ages), and even charged them with the duty of making this world a better place through their Christian love and charity.<\/span>

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All four of our grown children are heavily involved in ministry. Joshua (our first born) and Kara (our fourth born) are involved in ministries to homeschooling families through our family ministry and through the Academy of Arts (teaching Christian drama to youth and children). Our second and third kids are both in full time ministry to the needy. Kayla will be joining the ranks of full time missionary, training other missionaries in HIV care and prevention upon her college graduation in May. Cami is our church\u2019s disability ministry director (One Heart Disability Ministry). She and her husband work tirelessly holding services each week for over a hundred individuals in the Fort Wayne area with cognitive disabilities. <\/span>

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Obviously, if our children felt that they were supposed to work full time in vocational careers, we would be proud of them. We have always wanted them to do what God has called them to do. However, the fact that they are so adept at seeing others\u2019 needs and trying to meet them brings us great joy\u2014regardless of whether that is a full time ministry, part time ministry, or just what they do as Christian adults above and beyond their occupations. <\/span>

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Yes, \u201cHow do you think that makes that person feel?\u201d is the beginning of empathy training. Teaching our children to see people\u2019s needs with true compassion is the continuation of that empathy training. (And as an aside, we began \u201cHow do you think that makes that person feel?\u201d with their siblings. We always told the kids that if they can learn how to get along with\/be kind to their siblings, they can work with anybody in this world!)<\/span>

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We are not programmed to be selfless. We are not programmed to automatically think about others. We are born with a sin nature–a selfish nature. As parents, we have to make a conscious effort to get our children\u2019s thoughts off of themselves\u2014and onto those around them. <\/span>

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Many years ago, when the older children were ten through fourteen, we took a trip to Chicago. We spent a long weekend visiting museums, swimming at our motel, and, of course, talking. We had many opportunities to see those with needs and discuss these situations. Before we left that weekend, we had written a song (amateur poet, here) that described what we saw and felt that we still sing today\u2014and that reminds us to look around us and see the hurting people\u2014and try to find ways to help them.<\/span>

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                                                             \u201cI Prayed for You Today\u201d<\/span>

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I prayed for you today, though I didn’t know your name, <\/span>
I saw a hurting look, so I had to stop and pray.<\/span>
I prayed for you today, when I saw you on the street, <\/span>
Playing on your trumpet, for everyone you meet.<\/span>

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(Chorus) I know it doesn’t seem like much, just a simple little prayer.<\/span>
But I want you to realize there is a God who cares.<\/span>
I know it doesn’t seem like much, I wish I could do more.<\/span>
But the very best thing that I can do is take you to the Lord.<\/span>

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I prayed for you today, when I saw you with your cane, <\/span>
Your yesterdays have flown right by, and now you’re old and lame.<\/span>
I prayed for you today, when I saw you on your porch, <\/span>
You looked so sad and lonely, so broken and forlorn.<\/span>

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(Chorus) I know it doesn’t seem like much, just a simple little prayer.<\/span>
But I want you to realize there is a God who cares.<\/span>
I know it doesn’t seem like much, I wish I could do more.<\/span>
But the very best thing that I can do is take you to the Lord.<\/span>

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I prayed for you today, when I saw you with your friends, <\/span>
Trying to be popular, trying to fit in.<\/span>
I prayed for you today, when I saw you at the zoo, <\/span>
Being a daddy all alone is difficult to do.<\/span>

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(Chorus) I know it doesn’t seem like much, just a simple little prayer.<\/span>
But I want you to realize there is a God who cares.<\/span>
I know it doesn’t seem like much, I wish I could do more.<\/span>
But the very best thing that I can do is take you to the Lord.<\/span>

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Empathy doesn\u2019t just happen. Yes, we can say that one child is more tenderhearted than another. We can see leanings towards empathy\u2014as well as leanings towards selfishness\u2014in our children. But empathy is something that we can teach our children\u2014a learned behavior, if you will\u2014that we can instill in them beginning at very young ages, in our homes. <\/span>

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                               Teaching Children Empathy on Valentine\u2019s Day                                             Reprint From 2010 Blogpost\u201cOne heart is worth it all; one life; one family\u2026touched by the love of Christ expressed through a caring church.\u201d                            One Heart Disability MinistryValentine\u2019s Day is the perfect time to focus on empathy. Empathy is taking love one step further. It is feeling how someone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[643,281],"tags":[287,195,283,319,311],"yoast_head":"\nValentine's Day-Empathy Training in Our Homes - Character Ink<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/valentines-day-empathy-training-in-our-homes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Valentine's Day-Empathy Training in Our Homes - Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"                               Teaching Children Empathy on Valentine\u2019s Day                                             Reprint From 2010 Blogpost\u201cOne heart is worth it all; one life; one family\u2026touched by the love of Christ expressed through a caring church.\u201d                            One Heart Disability MinistryValentine\u2019s Day is the perfect time to focus on empathy. 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