Out of all of the times\/places that we are told to teach our children diligently in Deuteronomy, \u201cwhen you sit in your house\u201d has got to be the most challenging. Over twenty years ago, Gregg Harris gave us the greatest advice in his parenting seminar (that we have used weekly and teach others to do the same): Whatever is important to you to do with your children should be attached to something that is already in the schedule. Thus, we attach reading together to rising\/going to bed; we attach family prayer to meals; etc. However, finding time to \u201csit in your house\u201d is another matter\u2014and one that I would like to address as a talk time in this blog post.<\/p>\nHow many of us \u201csit in our houses\u201d? That is, we sit\u2014not to watch television, pay bills, surf the web; play computer games; read the paper, etc., but just SIT. With my AOADD (Adult-Onset ADD\u2014self diagnosed!!!), sitting is not one of my favorite things to do\u2014unless I am doing something else at the same time (i.e. working!). However, this is an often-overlooked period of time that we truly need to tap into in order to talk with our children.<\/p>\n
We have to force ourselves to \u201csit\u201d with our children. We need to make it a habit to just take a seat next to one or more of them each day\u2014no electronics, no work on our laps\u2014and just \u201cbe.\u201d These moments are when great communication times as we are \u201csitting in our house\u201d will occur. <\/p>\n
Not necessarily formal teaching, though there are definite times and places for that. But just \u201cbeing.\u201d Just saying, \u201cTell me about your day.\u201d And truly listening. Times to listen to their hearts sing the \u201ctalking song\u201d that our family adopted as a parenting cue many years ago: \u201cTalk to me; show me that you care. Talk to me; listen to the words I say. Talk to me; there\u2019s so much we can share. I know you love me when you talk to me.\u201d Times to really look into their faces and observe their countenance\u2014to read the signs that show that deep within that son or daughter is an ache, a question, an apprehension, an issue that needs Mom or Dad time.<\/p>\n
Recent statistics indicate that teenagers spend an average of less than thirty minutes a week in a \u201cmeaningful relationship\u201d with their mothers and fifteen minutes per week with their fathers. Fifteen to thirty minutes a week with Mom or Dad during some of the most critical years of a person\u2019s life! (We have said for years that ages sixteen to twenty are the highest need years for our kids in terms of parental time and support.)<\/p>\n
Another recent study of parents and children by an insurance company said that children WANT their parents to spend time with them. Eight out of ten said they resented being put in front of a television (instead of spending time with Mom or Dad); sixty percent said they wished their parents spent more time with them and worked less.<\/p>\n
Parents who bring work home (instead of being available for their kids), put their own hobbies and interests before the kids; and are consumed with their home and possessions more than their kids are being coined as \u201cMaybe later\u201d parents. As a mom of six grown kids (ages seventeen through twenty-nine) and one younger (almost fourteen year old), I can tell you for sure that \u201clater\u201d never comes.<\/p>\n
So\u2026the first piece of advice we have for establishing talk time when you sit in your home\u201d is to \u201csit in your home\u201d! Set aside other things and make the time. Fire pits; bonfires; electronic-free rooms; porch swing moments; Mom & Dad\u2019s bedroom for midnight meetings; family meals\u2014all of these give opportunities to sit with our kids. Let\u2019s make it happen! <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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#11: When You \u201cSit\u201d in Your House\u2014Preferably in a \u201cTechno-Free\u201d Zone Out of all of the times\/places that we are told to teach our children diligently in Deuteronomy, \u201cwhen you sit in your house\u201d has got to be the most challenging. Over twenty years ago, Gregg Harris gave us the greatest advice in his parenting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[630,643,488,633,308,281],"tags":[278,342,317,277,39,319,311,271,367],"yoast_head":"\n
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