<\/a><\/p>\nHow to Make Quiet Questioning Successful<\/h3>\n There are some guidelines that make quietly questioning successful:<\/p>\n
1. If the question is disrespectful or done in anger, it is turned down immediately.<\/p>\n
2. If the question is a series of whines and complaints, rather than a truly quiet question, it is turned down.<\/p>\n
3. If a child begins disagreeing a lot or constantly trying to question, the question process is terminated for a period of time until that person learns to accept Mom and Dad\u2019s rules more often than not. (More about kids being characterized by cooperation \u201cmore often than not\u201d later.)<\/p>\n
4. If the questioning process becomes an argument, it is ended.<\/p>\n
5. If the person questioning is turned down, but later has more information (\u201cnew evidence\u201d), he may re- question that topic.<\/p>\n
6. The question is truly listened to and thought through by Mom and Dad. Do not pretend to listen to questions, but not regard your children\u2019s pleas. This is another \u201cRecipe for Rebellion\u201d in itself. (Kids know if the questioning process is just a formality and you are not truly listening to them.)<\/p>\n
7. The person questioning is not constantly interrupted by Mom and Dad with justifications. The child should not be patronized during a quiet question, but carefully listened to and respected.<\/p>\n
8. Once the answer to the question is given, the matter must be dropped for the time being. Granted, it might need re-visited, but to continue the questioning once an answer is given is arguing, not quiet questioning.<\/p>\n
9. Parents must agree on the answer to the question at the time. Later, behind closed doors, discussion between Mom and Dad may need to take place, but in front of the child, a united front is imperative.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Quiet Questioning is a privilege for mature children. It should not be used by children who complain and grumble all of the time. It should not be used as a \u201cformal means\u201d of arguing. (The words, \u201cMay I quietly question?,\u201d should not be substituted for the child\u2019s normal means of disagreeing as an attempt to begin \u201cdiscussion and arguments.\u201d)<\/p>\n
A child should have godly character and be characterized by (\u201cknown by\u201d) submission and obedience in order to utilize this relational tool. It is an avenue by which children and teens who readily accept the family\u2019s rules may disagree respectfully and be heard.<\/p>\n
When discussing these concepts recently with our grown son Joshua (married; thirty-four), it was interesting to us to note that he said that he did not mind our rules\u2014even if he disagreed with them. According to him, the reason he did what we wanted him to do (outside of love\u2014see \u201cRules Without Relationship\u201d next week) during any of our less-than-rational-rule-time is because no matter what rule we made, what standard we expected, or what behavior we demanded, we always listened to him.<\/p>\n
According to him, even if we did not change the rule or expected result, we still let him talk and let him disagree with us (via the quiet question process). He noted that it didn\u2019t matter if we followed his suggestions, just the fact that we were listening to him made all the difference in the world. According to him, we did not give him freedom to do as he pleased when he disagreed with something, but we did give him intellectual freedom\u2013the freedom to think and to question us. That alone made Quiet Questioning in our home so important to us.<\/p>\n
Save<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Quiet Questioning: Let Your Kids Question You Without Being Disrespectful \u201cMom, that\u2019s not fair!\u201d \u201cWhy can\u2019t I…..\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s her turn!\u201d One of the ways that our children begin the disrespect spiral is when we let them \u201ctalk back\u201d to us. At first, this can be simply questioning us with a slightly raised voice. But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[643,488,633],"tags":[1060,1244,330,586,1290,1098,1062,271],"yoast_head":"\n
52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You - Character Ink<\/title>\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n