{"id":5076,"date":"2016-08-27T10:36:37","date_gmt":"2016-08-27T14:36:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/?p=5076"},"modified":"2016-10-08T16:29:29","modified_gmt":"2016-10-08T20:29:29","slug":"52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/","title":{"rendered":"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response"},"content":{"rendered":"

The second ingredient in the Recipe for Rebellion<\/a> is that of rules without responses\u2013developing rules without allowing our children to question those rules\u2014without allowing them to respond to our instruction. This is a common ingredient in rules-oriented families. We often do not listen to our children if they disagree with something or question something. Even those who are not opposed to telling children the why\u2019s of rules (Ingredient #1) are sometimes not comfortable with letting children ask us about our rules.<\/p>\n

\"52<\/a><\/p>\n

Recipe for Rebellion<\/h3>\n

Rules Without Reasons
\nRules Without Response<\/strong>
\nRules Without Repetition
\nRules Without Relationship<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So I guess this would be more appropriately coined as a time to listen…not talk. And this is why….<\/p>\n

The problems with Ingredient # 1: Rules Without Reasons are also found in Ingredient #2: Rules Without Response (plus one other \u201cbiggie\u201d):<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1. \u201cNo-Response-Allowed\u201d Is Aggravating!<\/h3>\n

There are many problems with this ingredient, of course, not the least of which involves the verse in the Bible that tells fathers not to aggravate their children: \u201cFathers, don\u2019t aggravate your children, if you do they will become discouraged and quit trying\u201d Colossians 3:21 (NLT). It is aggravating not to be listened to! Think about how annoying it is for you with work or relatives when you are not allowed to voice your opinion. Your children feel the same way\u2013only perhaps even more helpless because they are, well, children.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. \u201cNo-Response-Allowed\u201d Handicaps Our Children in Their Future Decision Making<\/h3>\n

Additionally, not allowing our children to respond to our rules and choices for them causes them to be unable to make decisions for themselves later in life. They need to know the process a Christian goes through to determine how to live and act. If we consistently tell them that this is the way it is, and they just need to buck up and do it, they will not learn how to make wise decisions for themselves and their own families some day.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. \u201cNo-Response-Allowed\u201d Is Not How God Treats Us!<\/h3>\n

If we truly want to follow a Christian protocol in parenting, we will want to try to parent our children like God parents us. God listens to us! Think of how painfully honest David was in the Psalms\u2014\u201cGod, why are you doing this to me! Why don\u2019t you listen to me? Why do you let my enemies overtake me? Oh, I want to follow your way, but it is so hard. Okay, God, I will trust in you, not in chariots and horses.\u201d God allows us to respond to what he is doing in our lives! Or how about Abraham: Will you destroy the city if there are some godly people still there? He not only responded to God\u2019s edict, but he gave God suggestions on how to change it. And God listened!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4. \u201cNo-Response-Allowed\u201d Causes Our Children to Argue With Us<\/h3>\n

Besides the three above difficulties with Ingredient #1 and Ingredient #2, \u201cNo-Response-Allowed\u201d has the added problem of arguments and fighting that result when children try to discuss rules with us and we do not listen. This is where a communication technique that we have used with our children comes in handy: the godly appeal.<\/p>\n

Most parents, when presented with the concept of letting their children respond to them, are not altogether wrong in their opposition. Their children might already be responding\u2013and Mom and Dad do not like it!<\/p>\n

Parents usually do not like it because they have not allowed (or taught) proper responses from their children early on, so their sons and daughters have resorted to arguing, bickering, and begging. That is not the type of response we are recommending in this appeal advice.<\/p>\n

So this time to talk is when you need to let your kids respond\u2014the next one will give you an outline for how to let your kids respond\/appeal to you in a non-argumentative way. So stay tuned!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Links:<\/strong><\/p>\n

[Download] Recipe for Rebellion Posters<\/a><\/p>\n

[Podcast] Recipe for Rebellion and Ingredients for Intimacy<\/a><\/p>\n

[Podcast] Dealing With Heart Issues of Tweens<\/a><\/p>\n

Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The second ingredient in the Recipe for Rebellion is that of rules without responses\u2013developing rules without allowing our children to question those rules\u2014without allowing them to respond to our instruction. This is a common ingredient in rules-oriented families. We often do not listen to our children if they disagree with something or question something. Even […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[643,488,633,281],"tags":[1060,1256,1252,1254,1255,271,338],"yoast_head":"\n52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response - Character Ink<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response - Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The second ingredient in the Recipe for Rebellion is that of rules without responses\u2013developing rules without allowing our children to question those rules\u2014without allowing them to respond to our instruction. This is a common ingredient in rules-oriented families. We often do not listen to our children if they disagree with something or question something. Even […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-08-27T14:36:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-10-08T20:29:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Donna\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/\",\"name\":\"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response - Character Ink\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-08-27T14:36:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-10-08T20:29:29+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/\",\"name\":\"Character Ink\",\"description\":\"Home of the Language Lady & Cottage Classes!\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64\",\"name\":\"Donna\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Donna\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/author\/cqlalady\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response - Character Ink","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response - Character Ink","og_description":"The second ingredient in the Recipe for Rebellion is that of rules without responses\u2013developing rules without allowing our children to question those rules\u2014without allowing them to respond to our instruction. This is a common ingredient in rules-oriented families. We often do not listen to our children if they disagree with something or question something. Even […]","og_url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/","og_site_name":"Character Ink","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks","article_published_time":"2016-08-27T14:36:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-10-08T20:29:29+00:00","author":"Donna","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Donna","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/","url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/","name":"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response - Character Ink","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-08-27T14:36:37+00:00","dateModified":"2016-10-08T20:29:29+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-avoiding-rules-without-response\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/","name":"Character Ink","description":"Home of the Language Lady & Cottage Classes!","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64","name":"Donna","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Donna"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks"],"url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/author\/cqlalady\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5076"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5076"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5076\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5154,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5076\/revisions\/5154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}