{"id":4114,"date":"2015-10-30T10:03:13","date_gmt":"2015-10-30T14:03:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/?p=4114"},"modified":"2015-10-30T21:34:56","modified_gmt":"2015-10-31T01:34:56","slug":"podcast-notes-ten-tips-for-staying-close-during-intense-training-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/podcast-notes-ten-tips-for-staying-close-during-intense-training-times\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast Notes: Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Training Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Podcast<\/a>
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Things to Consider About Our Relationships During Intense Training Times<\/strong><\/h3>\n

(1)<\/strong> To your child, it can feel like he is being ganged up on\u2014or that he is not as loved because there is so much \u201cnegative\u201d in the form of training, punishment, consequences, etc. You want to be sure you are combating this with attention, affirmation, encouragement, heart engagement, and many positives.
\n 
\n(2)<\/strong> Keep these ten tips close-by to be sure that you are staying close and connected when he feels less than positive about the changes and expectations.
\n 
\n(3)<\/strong> While it might not be possible during these intense times to follow a certain protocol (i.e. three positives for every one negative; ten affirmations for every negative feedback\/correction, etc.), it is still important not to have a negative environment in which every thing is about the training, changes, and expectations.
\n <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

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Listen to the podcast here!<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Training Times With Tweens and Teens<\/strong><\/h3>\n

(1)<\/strong> Remember, to your child, perception is reality. If he feels ganged up on, to him, he really is. If he feels that you do not LIKE him, to him, you really do not. If he feels like you are only focusing on negatives right now, to him, you are.<\/p>\n

(2)<\/strong> Don\u2019t over-focus on correction (i.e. too many areas at the same time; once you are on a roll about one thing, you find yourself picking\/correcting every little thing). Choose the biggest things first ( see Four D\u2019s of Behavior<\/a> and Handling Heart Behaviors in Tweens<\/a>). Don\u2019t try to tackle everything at one time.<\/p>\n

(3)<\/strong> Have more-than-normal amounts of one-on-one time with your child. (See our Keep Close Coupons<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

(4)<\/strong> Affirm your child\u2019s good behavior and character during this time\u2014early and often. (See our Affirmation Cards<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

(5)<\/strong> Give little gifts and plan little surprises. (See our Kid’s Faves Worsheets<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

(6)<\/strong> Have lots of family time, stressing family unity and love among family members.<\/p>\n

(7)<\/strong> Say yes when you can. (This is already a time of a lot of no\u2019s if he is being punished or having a lot of consequences; don\u2019t pile on unnecessary no\u2019s.)<\/p>\n

(8)<\/strong> Be sure he sees you linking responsibility with privilege. (See my latest article\u2014\u201dThe One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything.\u201d) When improvements are made in his character, he should see immediate changes in his privileges\u2014just like he should have seen lessening of privileges when responsibility wasn\u2019t as good.)<\/p>\n

(9)<\/strong> Use key times wisely. Drive time. Just the two of you home. Mornings. Dinner preparation. Bedtimes. Porch time. Tech-free zone time. All of these times are good times to connect to your child\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n

(10)<\/strong> Ask good questions. Focus on the WHY…..not just literal questions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Links<\/strong><\/p>\n

Podcast: Four D\u2019s of Behavior<\/a>
\nPodcast: Dealing With Heart Issues of Tweens<\/a>
\nBlog post: Four Things Teens and Young Adults Need <\/a>
\nBlog post: Teaching Children to Ask Questions<\/a>
\nBlog Post: The One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything<\/a>
\nBlog Post: A is for Affirmation<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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