{"id":1307,"date":"2010-03-08T04:10:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-08T04:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-sixty-seven-prepare-for-parenting\/"},"modified":"2015-06-05T14:19:14","modified_gmt":"2015-06-05T18:19:14","slug":"day-sixty-seven-prepare-for-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-sixty-seven-prepare-for-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"day sixty-seven: \u201cprepare\u201d for parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Nothing could have prepared me for parenting….”<\/strong>

<\/span>
Long, fussy nights. Evenings walking the floor trying to solve the problem, then finally making room for the \u201cangelic being\u201d at the foot of my bed. Afternoons filled with needs that I could humanly never meet\u2026..anxiety, fussiness, tear-filled moments, overwhelming joy, laughter. <\/span>

<\/span>
Nights with two, three, four, or five of them all needing Mom and Dad at the same time\u2026.all gathered in our room, some half asleep, others needing consoled or comforted. Nights in which Ray would finally drift off to sleep by midnight, only to wake up at four to take off for work and find the needy one still in our bed. <\/span>

<\/span>
Yes, it\u2019s very true\u2026.nothing could have prepared me for parenting\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u2026\u2026.teens and young adults. (Long ellipses intended!)<\/span>

<\/span>
If you began reading the above paragraph thinking I was describing parenting babies, I tricked you! \uf04a I can remember when I had six children twelve and under (ten years ago!), and I thought parenting babies and toddlers was so challenging. I was tired, overwhelmed, and overworked. I thought it would be so much easier in a dozen years. Ha!<\/span>

<\/span>
Recently we had a wave of \u201coverwhelming parenting days\u201d with our teens and young adults. Nothing too big, nothing too out of the ordinary\u2026just six \u201ckids\u201d twelve through twenty-two needing their parents all at the same time. Prior to the last few years, I had no idea that parenting teens and young adults took so much emotional energy AND so much time.<\/span>

<\/span>
Ray spent one evening with J and Lisa, giving them advice. I was with the two oldest girls that same evening, going over the camp they hosted for young ladies, followed by getting Cami off to serve at Joni and Friends and phone calls with updates and prayer needs a couple of times a day. <\/span>

<\/span>
We met with Kayla and some missionaries and a missions director (two different meetings)\u2014along with some long, heart-felt talks with just the three of us and dinner out. <\/span>

<\/span>
Jonathan needed help getting his \u201cresponsibility\u201d level up to his \u201cability\u201d level. (I\u2019m sure you can figure that out for yourself!) <\/span>

<\/span>
Kara went away to debate camp and didn\u2019t have Mom or big sisters there to encourage her every hour\u2014and I ended up talking on the phone with her two to five times a day and emailing her at least twenty times a day! <\/span>

<\/span>
It was a tiring week. Every hour of each evening the phone seemed to ring or we were tied up with one of the older children—or both.<\/span>

<\/span>
At the end of the week, Ray and I fell into bed and discussed how challenging our parenting is right now—how many needs there are and how inadequate we feel to meet them—and I said, \u201cYou know what? These kids are consuming our lives!\u201d<\/span>

<\/span>
We looked at each other and broke out into laughter as we both said, \u201cNo duh—that\u2019s what they\u2019re supposed to do!\u201d<\/span>

<\/span>
It was good to laugh about it. For only two days later, I was in a heap of tears over it again, feeling like I was making mistakes, worrying about different things, and generally overwhelmed—much like I used to feel twelve years ago—only worse\u2014I\u2019m older and, well, hormonal! <\/span>

<\/span>
Twelve years ago, we put them in their beds if they threw food from the high chair. Twelve years ago, they couldn\u2019t have their ice cream if they didn\u2019t eat their vegetables. Twelve years ago, we overloaded the newborn with colic drops and took turns walking the floor—but it didn\u2019t seem as \u201clife-long\u201d or \u201clife-shaping\u201d as today\u2019s parenting issues are.<\/span><\/p>\n

I used to cry because I was tired. Now I lie awake\u2014and make myself more tired—worrying and praying over our teens and young adults. I used to think I was a bad parent if my kids had bad behavior. Now I think I\u2019m a bad parent if I don\u2019t \u201clook into the future\u201d and see their needs before they arise. I used to worry that they didn\u2019t do enough math, now I worry that they aren\u2019t doing enough praying!<\/span>

<\/span>
Then I get thankful\u2026.thankful that I\u2019m crying because I miss my fourteen year old so much while she\u2019s at debate camp that I\u2019m considering driving the four hours to pick her up and bring her home to Mama. Thankful that my seventeen year old\u2019s greatest need this week is trying to witness to an unsaved fellow counselor at the deaf children\u2019s camp\u2014and keeping the teenage boys from trying to \u201cgo with her.\u201d (I\u2019m not sure where they want to go with her!) Thankful that my nineteen year old isn\u2019t into drugs\u2026.but is so into Jesus, she can\u2019t decide when, where, and how to get on the field and bring the lost to Him. Thankful that our married son is such a diligent worker and so sensitive about things that he wants to talk to Ray for hours. Thankful that we have the issues we do have\u2026instead of other issues that are way too heavy for me. <\/span>

<\/span>
So\u2026.here Ray and I go again\u2026doing what we always do when things are rough\u2026regrouping, laughing, holding each other, praying, talking through everything, misunderstanding each other (then making up!), spending huge amounts of time talking to our kids. Sure, parenting at any age is tough, but as I said before, nothing could have prepared me to parent\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..\u2026.<\/span>teens and young adults!<\/span>

<\/span>
This week I will be doing a week-long series about teens, entitled \u201cReishes\u2019 Recipe for Rebellion\u201d\u2014and what ingredients we want to be sure to NOT include in the parenting of our teens. I pray that you will be blessed and helped by it as much as we have from the teachings we have received that led up to our developing it.<\/span>

<\/span>
Note: This article was reprinted in part from one of our 2005 newsletters.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Nothing could have prepared me for parenting….”Long, fussy nights. Evenings walking the floor trying to solve the problem, then finally making room for the \u201cangelic being\u201d at the foot of my bed. Afternoons filled with needs that I could humanly never meet\u2026..anxiety, fussiness, tear-filled moments, overwhelming joy, laughter. 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