{"id":1302,"date":"2010-03-14T01:25:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-14T01:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-seventy-two-understand-the-recipe-for-rebellion-ingredient-iv-rules-without-relationship\/"},"modified":"2016-10-08T16:14:53","modified_gmt":"2016-10-08T20:14:53","slug":"day-seventy-two-understand-the-recipe-for-rebellion-ingredient-iv-rules-without-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-seventy-two-understand-the-recipe-for-rebellion-ingredient-iv-rules-without-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"day seventy-two: understand the recipe for rebellion\u2014ingredient iv: rules without relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<strong>Recipe for Rebellion<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Reasons <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Response <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Repetition <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Relationship<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">INGREDIENT #4: RULES\u2008WITHOUT\u2008RELATIONSHIP<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient\u2014and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. (Of course, without relationship, we as parents have no desire or motivation to try to explain rules, listen to their appeals, or remain consistent in our parenting.) Relationship must be in place in order to keep our children from rebelling against us. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">Love covers a multitude of parenting problems. However, I will note that we can chisel away the relationship we do have with any of the previous three ingredients in our rule making. Even if we have a strong relationship in place with our children and have secured their hearts, we can cause them to take back pieces of their hearts little by little when we do not have logical rules, do not listen to them, and do not have consistency. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">Likewise, an incredibly strong relationship can cause our children to accept our decisions even if we do have some of the other three undesirable ingredients. If our children know that we are trying to do what is in their best interest, and that we would not simply make rules to throw our weight around, they will more easily accept those times when our rule making is less than logical or consistent. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">I look back on the time when our three oldest children began entering their teen years, and it seems a miracle that we were able to keep them so close. I know that there were some key experiences during that time that held us together, in spite of our tendency to not always think when making rules and guidelines. The most significant thing that kept our children true to us during that time was love. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">More than anything else, love ruled our home. We might have had some wacko rules, many of which had no logical basis. We might have taken away a lot of things from them that other kids got to do or have (and continue to do so). But we always loved unselfishly. We loved them enough to do whatever it took to stay close to them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">Paul&#8217;s declaration about ruling with love is what made those years successful in spite of not knowing what we were doing! In Philemon 1: 8-9, Paul told the people that he could have forced them to do what he wanted them to do (which is how some parents handle things), but instead he wanted to love them into doing what he asked: &#8220;\u2026although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love&#8221; (NKJV).<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;\">When we appeal to our children on the basis of love&#8211;even if we do not have it all figured out ourselves yet&#8211;their response is completely different than if we appeal to them with unlimited, tyrannical authority.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Recipe for Rebellion &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Reasons &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Response &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Repetition &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Relationship INGREDIENT #4: RULES\u2008WITHOUT\u2008RELATIONSHIP Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient\u2014and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. (Of course, without relationship, we as parents have no desire or motivation to try to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[643,281],"tags":[267,278,106,280,310,319,314,271],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.5.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>day seventy-two: understand the recipe for rebellion\u2014ingredient iv: rules without relationship - Character Ink<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-building-relationships\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"day seventy-two: understand the recipe for rebellion\u2014ingredient iv: rules without relationship - Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Recipe for Rebellion &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Reasons &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Response &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Repetition &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Relationship INGREDIENT #4: RULES\u2008WITHOUT\u2008RELATIONSHIP Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient\u2014and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. (Of course, without relationship, we as parents have no desire or motivation to try to [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-building-relationships\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-03-14T01:25:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-10-08T20:14:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Donna\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-seventy-two-understand-the-recipe-for-rebellion-ingredient-iv-rules-without-relationship\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-building-relationships\",\"name\":\"day seventy-two: understand the recipe for rebellion\u2014ingredient iv: rules without relationship - Character Ink\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-03-14T01:25:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-10-08T20:14:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-building-relationships#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-building-relationships\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/52-weeks-talking-kids-building-relationships#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"day seventy-two: understand the recipe for rebellion\u2014ingredient iv: rules without relationship\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/\",\"name\":\"Character Ink\",\"description\":\"Home of the Language Lady &amp; 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Rules Without Reasons &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Response &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Repetition &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Rules Without Relationship INGREDIENT #4: RULES\u2008WITHOUT\u2008RELATIONSHIP Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient\u2014and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. 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