{"id":1164,"date":"2010-07-22T03:52:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-22T03:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/"},"modified":"2015-03-12T02:38:05","modified_gmt":"2015-03-12T02:38:05","slug":"day-198-thirty-days-of-romance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"day 198: thirty days of romance"},"content":{"rendered":"


\u201cI\u2019m in love, I\u2019m in love\u2026and I don\u2019t care who knows it.\u201d Elf<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ray and I had our now-annual “thirty days of romance” during June\/July. It was\u2026well, romantic!
A few years ago, we celebrated being together for thirty years\u2013thirty years since our first date, and we\u2019ve been together ever since! Anyway, we celebrated those thirty years by having what we called “thirty days of romance.” That is, for those thirty days we focused more on each other than other things. We thought of each other more, made each other feel important, did special things for each other, spent more time alone, and just generally tried to focus more on romance than “stuff”\u2013those things that we always have to do. It was such a success that we decided to make it an annual event.<\/p>\n

We have had a few \u201c30 Days of Romance\u201d in the past few years, and we have loved them! In recent years, we have been getting too busy with my writing and editing, Ray\u2019s work, our publishing company, our family speaking ministry, and all seven of our children and their needs. It just seemed like the long talks, special candy bars, frequent rendezvous (!), etc. were slipping away from us. <\/p>\n

Some ideas we have used (and\/or hope to use in the future)\u2014some are just simple things that we forget to do in our daily busy-ness. (Feel free to share\u2014we should start a Romantic Revolution!!! \uf04a)<\/p>\n

1. Make favorite meals \u2014We had spaghetti at least twice\u2013Ray\u2019s favorite!; Ray will grab the kids and make me homemade French fries or have one of the boys make brownies, etc. sometimes <\/p>\n

2. Out for dinner in Fort Wayne\u2013since we started dancing, we seldom go to movies and\/or dinner because it takes so much to get away to dance\u2014and we do not feel like we can justify another evening away from the kids\u2014during 30 Days of Romance, we take exception to that, even if it means dinner and movie on Tuesday AND dancing on Saturday! <\/p>\n

3. Romantic comedies\/movies\u2014we have two ballroom dance movies we like to watch. Ray loves romantic movies; I prefer action\/legal thrillers\/drama, and I\u2019m the one who usually rents movies, so I try to get more movies he likes during this month.<\/p>\n

4. Just talking\u2014for example, one night we went to the dance early and left it late to just not rush so much. We always barely come into a dance (and one of us is often on the phone to one of the older kids when we first arrive) or have to leave early, etc. etc it seems. Just wanted to slow down, dance some, talk some, and just not rush for a little bit! Talking without our older kids needing us is a luxury, so we just tried to focus more on that this month.<\/p>\n

5. More phone calls and emails\u2014and more little signs, words, and phrases that nobody but us knows what they mean in our phone calls and emails (though the kids try to figure them out!! \uf04a) <\/p>\n

6. More yielding\u2014just taking our own advice (when we counsel people) to be the one who stops an argument or disagreement, to be the one who doesn\u2019t have to be right, to be the one who brings peace in a situation that could become less than peaceful. We teach yielding in our book, curricula, blog, seminar, and workshops, but it is so hard to do in life everyday\u2014just to remind ourselves that the other person\u2019s feelings and that relationship is worth yielding for. <\/p>\n

7. Song finding\u2014this is a new thing we want to do\u2014find songs that we like on the internet and have Jonathan buy them and put them on a cd for us\u2014and decide which dances we would do with each one, etc. <\/p>\n

8. Look up dancing together online\u2014on rare occasions, we will sit down and look up a certain dance online and try to figure out how they do certain moves, or watch for styling or theory, etc. Listen to\/watch \u201clessons\u201d online. During “30 Days,” we want to do this more. <\/p>\n

9. Play games\u2014before our kids got so old and needed us so much in the evenings (including our grown children on the phone, etc.), we used to play Scrabble, Guess Who, Blokus, Backgammon, and Cribbage in our room and watch a fun movie, eat snacks, and just enjoy each other and relax. Now it seems like we are always with one of the kids for something (i.e. Ray is at the table with Josiah and his algebra right now; I\u2019m getting ready to call back one of our daughters to talk, etc. etc.)\u2014or if we play games, it is with the kids (which is fun too, but not alone time). We seldom stop early enough in the evening to have our fun game time anymore. During this month, we will \u201cmake dates\u201d to do that. <\/p>\n

10. Go out for dessert\u2014when the kids were all younger (but the oldest was twelve), a couple of times a month, we would put them all to bed at eight o\u2019clock and go out for dessert. We try to do this some during our 30 Days. <\/p>\n

11. Dance lessons\u2014We have put private lessons on hold for the past three years due to the expenses with getting our publishing company off the ground; a wedding; two kids in college; etc. etc etc. We want to try to take at least two private lessons during this month. <\/p>\n

12. Little surprises\u2014When we didn\u2019t have so many needs to meet, we just thought of little things more\u2014you know, picking up my favorite editing pen at Walmart when Ray is getting groceries or grabbing his favorite pop at the gas station\u2014just the little things that let the other person know he is being thought of. One “30 Days” Ray had a dozen roses (of different colors\u2013beautiful!) delivered in increments of three\u2013during my “CQLA Cottage Class” day. Thus, every couple of hours, the florist would come with three more roses\u2013my students thought it was a hoot\u2013but I just loved it!<\/p>\n

13. Not work at night so much\u2014Because of homeschooling during the day (and teaching fifty kids in Ossian and Fort Wayne writing each week), I often work at night while Ray oversees kids\u2019 homework, teaches some of their classes, does driver\u2019s training with whomever happens to be learning to drive at that time, works on meal clean up with the kids, etc etc. I often have trouble stopping my work. (I really love to work\u2026especially writing and editing!) When it is payroll time, student billing time, etc. etc. Ray often works after he is done with the kids in the evening too. Anyway, during 30 Days, we designate certain nights for me to stop working at a certain time (i.e. 9:00 instead of 11:00), etc. <\/p>\n

14. Planning and dreaming together\u2014We always used to plan and dream together\u2014now it seems like life happens so fast that we hardly have time to plan ahead or dream about what might be. We take more time for that during this month. <\/p>\n

15. Get away\u2014Since this \u201c30 Days\u201d fell over our anniversary, we had a get away during it. If we can get away and go to a dance (especially at the beautiful \u201cRoof Ballroom\u201d in Indianapolis) and stay overnight a day or two, it makes our \u201c30 Days\u201d even more romantic.<\/p>\n

16. \u201cTwalks\u201d\u2014before we started Training for Triumph and I started writing so much, we used to take a \u201ctwalk\u201d many days after work. This was a time in which the two of us just took off on a walk to talk. We are trying to incorporate more of these\u2014without cell phones on us!<\/p>\n

I recommend \u201cThirty Days of Romance\u201d to all married couples\u2014whether you\u2019ve been married ten years or forty. It just puts the focus back on each other in marriage\u2014and that focus is so easy to lose with the demands of parenting, work, ministry, and more.

<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019m in love, I\u2019m in love\u2026and I don\u2019t care who knows it.\u201d Elf Ray and I had our now-annual “thirty days of romance” during June\/July. It was\u2026well, romantic! A few years ago, we celebrated being together for thirty years\u2013thirty years since our first date, and we\u2019ve been together ever since! Anyway, we celebrated those thirty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[283,9,303],"yoast_head":"\nday 198: thirty days of romance - Character Ink<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"day 198: thirty days of romance - Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cI\u2019m in love, I\u2019m in love\u2026and I don\u2019t care who knows it.\u201d Elf Ray and I had our now-annual “thirty days of romance” during June\/July. It was\u2026well, romantic! A few years ago, we celebrated being together for thirty years\u2013thirty years since our first date, and we\u2019ve been together ever since! Anyway, we celebrated those thirty […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Character Ink\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-07-22T03:52:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-03-12T02:38:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Donna\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/\",\"name\":\"day 198: thirty days of romance - Character Ink\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-07-22T03:52:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-03-12T02:38:05+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"day 198: thirty days of romance\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/\",\"name\":\"Character Ink\",\"description\":\"Home of the Language Lady & Cottage Classes!\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64\",\"name\":\"Donna\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Donna\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/author\/cqlalady\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"day 198: thirty days of romance - Character Ink","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"day 198: thirty days of romance - Character Ink","og_description":"\u201cI\u2019m in love, I\u2019m in love\u2026and I don\u2019t care who knows it.\u201d Elf Ray and I had our now-annual “thirty days of romance” during June\/July. It was\u2026well, romantic! A few years ago, we celebrated being together for thirty years\u2013thirty years since our first date, and we\u2019ve been together ever since! Anyway, we celebrated those thirty […]","og_url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/","og_site_name":"Character Ink","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany\/","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks","article_published_time":"2010-07-22T03:52:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-03-12T02:38:05+00:00","author":"Donna","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Donna","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/","url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/","name":"day 198: thirty days of romance - Character Ink","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-07-22T03:52:00+00:00","dateModified":"2015-03-12T02:38:05+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/day-198-thirty-days-of-romance\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"day 198: thirty days of romance"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/","name":"Character Ink","description":"Home of the Language Lady & Cottage Classes!","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/801ef5fa0749f7c8c379e32c743fba64","name":"Donna","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a34d703c1b470108b3e0674490546317?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Donna"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/characterinkcompany?ref=bookmarks"],"url":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/author\/cqlalady\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1164"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/characterinkblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}