52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Building Relationships

In my 52 Times to Talk, I have recently been discussing the Recipe for Rebellion—and how you can talk to your kids to avoid those “ingredients” that lead to our children rebelling.

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Building Relationships

Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient—and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. (Of course, without relationship, we as parents have no desire or motivation to try to explain rules, listen to their appeals, or remain consistent in our parenting.) Relationship must be in place in order to keep our children from rebelling against us.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You

 Quiet Questioning: Let Your Kids Question You Without Being Disrespectful

 

“Mom, that’s not fair!”

“Why can’t I…..”

“It’s her turn!”

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You

One of the ways that our children begin the disrespect spiral is when we let them “talk back” to us. At first, this can be simply questioning us with a slightly raised voice. But before we know it, it can become full-fledged disrespect. And the more we allow it, the more it happens.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Response

The second ingredient in the Recipe for Rebellion is that of rules without responses–developing rules without allowing our children to question those rules—without allowing them to respond to our instruction. This is a common ingredient in rules-oriented families. We often do not listen to our children if they disagree with something or question something. Even those who are not opposed to telling children the why’s of rules (Ingredient #1) are sometimes not comfortable with letting children ask us about our rules.

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids Avoiding Rules Without Response FB

Recipe for Rebellion

Rules Without Reasons
Rules Without Response
Rules Without Repetition
Rules Without Relationship

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Reasons

Why?

Why not?

Can we change that to…..

These questions are often asked of us parents when we fail to give children the reason for our decisions and instruction.

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids Avoiding Rules Without Reasons

While there it is true that our children should learn to obey us and trust that we have their best in mind (but again, that comes through lots of talking and letting them see that we have their best interest in mind!), we have determined four key ingredients that cause teens to rebel—Reishes’ Recipe for Rebellion.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: When You Want to Teach Empathy

I prayed for you today, though I didn’t know your name,
I saw a hurting look, so I had to stop and pray.
I prayed for you today, when I saw you on the street,
Playing on your trumpet, for everyone you meet.

That is the first verse of a song I wrote that we sang together as a family during family worship and in the van driving (especially on trips). It was our empathy song—the song that reminded us to try to put ourselves in others’ shoes and understand how they are feeling.

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