There are five influences that we have found in determining priorities in life. Obviously, there are more impacts than these; however, these are the five that have guided us through the years. Like everything else we have learned and applied in our lives, these were learned from others (especially through Gregg Harris Seasons of Life seminar)—for which we will be eternally grateful.

The five influences on prioritizing include the following:

1. Spouse

2. Boundaries in Already in Place in Your life: People and Situations

3. More Boundaries: Talents and Skills

4. Seasons of Life

5. Physical Seasons

1. Prioritize With Your Spouse

Hopefully, you and your spouse have the same goals in life. If that is the case, then you both want the same things: to live lives that please and honor God; to have godly, well educated children; to make a difference in the world; etc. But there are so many ways to please and honor God; there are so many ways to educate our children; there are so many ways to make a difference in the world.

 If you and your spouse are on the same page with your priorities, I recommend that you go through the rest of today’s and tomorrow’s posts about determining priorities together. Talking through your goals, dreams, and visions together will help to further solidify your priorities–and what you should be spending your life on.

2. Prioritize Based on Boundaries Already in Place in Your Life: People and Situations

Many things that should be our priorities are staring us right in the face, literally. God has already placed people in our lives that are built in priorities. They are already there–they just need to be prioritized.

For example, if you have children and a husband, these are boundaries–built-in priorities–that should take precedence over other things. They are placed in your life by God Himself. He is giving you ready-made priorities and is just waiting for you to put them high on your priority list where they belong.

3. More Boundaries: Talents and Skills

Another built-in boundary that aids in prioritizing is that of talents and skills. As we recognize talents and skills that God has given us, we can safely assume that God wants those as priorities in our lives–or wants to use them to help us reach those priorities.

Your skills and talents were given especially to you. When my older children were younger, I always wanted to do and be something other than what I was. I especially envied other people’s talents. For instance, I saw musical families and wished that we could be musical. I wanted all of us to be up on stage somewhere playing instruments together. However, I was not given the skills of music, nor were Ray and many of the children.

Using the skills that I have, rather than wanting others’ skills, saves time and gives me more energy to meet the priorities God has given me. We have chosen to focus on the skills that God has given our family: some are intellectually gifted; most of us are organizers; we are all communicators (in writing and speech); we are all leaders. By focusing on those skills, rather than skills that we do not have, we can meet our priorities more efficiently and more excellently.

4. Still More Boundaries: Seasons of Life

Yesterday I described our first “priority purge.” Our next “priority purge” came a few years later when we had two small children. God led us to attend two awesome, life-changing seminars: The Christian Homeschooling Workshop and the Advanced Homeschooling Workshop, both by Gregg Harris. From these seminars, among many other things, we learned about seasons of life.

A season of life is that time period you find yourself in based on your age, your family situation, etc. We discovered that we were not being as effective as we could be in our lives because we were trying to do things out of our season.

At that time, according to the workshop, we were in the “Business and Babies” season. We stayed there for many, many years! Yet, we continually found ourselves involved in activities that were for those of the next season. Ray was on the hospital board in our town, he was an elder in our church, we taught Bible classes at church to people three times our age. We struggled to find time to attend meetings, serve in the church thoroughly, prepare our lessons, etc., due to Ray’s heavy work schedule and our responsibilities with our young children.

We came home from those two seminars and went through another priority purging. Due to the season that we were in, we decided Ray should resign from his hospital board and elder positions. We also cut back on our teaching at church. After all, we were still in our early twenties. What business did we have telling others how to live their lives when we lacked the wisdom that we would obtain through years of experiences? Another priority purge helped us get closer to our God-given priorities for that season.

So, not only do we have built-in priorities because we have children to raise and a spouse to love and encourage, but the ages of those children and spouse further solidify our priorities, usually also based on the season of life we are in. When I had five children ten and under, I loved homeschooling and communicating so much that I wanted to write and speak about homeschooling. I saw others doing it, read others’ books, etc, and I felt that I had a lot to offer homeschoolers since I had been a teacher, had been homeschooling for several years, and had, had many experiences helping homeschoolers get started. However, learning about seasons of life helped me to see that it was not time for those things. Maybe I did have some built-in boundaries of skills (speaking, writing, and communicating). Maybe I did have the motivation due to my love for homeschooling. However, the other built-in boundaries of so many young children, my season of life, the lack of experience for myself, etc., showed me that it was not the right time for that priority of communicating with larger groups of people yet.

5. More Boundaries Again: Natural Seasons

And taking the whole built-in boundaries concept one step further, we find that even natural seasons of life (winter, spring, summer, and fall)–when combined with the built-in priorities of people, talents, and life seasons–help us determine our priorities.

Priorities and schedules are fluid, not stagnant. They change constantly, especially when we have young children. For example, in the fall, we might have a newborn baby who nurses and sleeps, giving us a lot of time to school the kids, do the housework, minister to other women, etc. However, two natural seasons later, in the spring, that same sleeping infant is a curious, crawling toddler, altering our schedule and, in effect, our priorities! Suddenly, we do not have the long hours to read around the table with everyone in attendance. If we still have the priority of reading together, we may have to limit it, prioritize the training of that toddler, or read in groups so someone is available to look after the little tyke. A natural season of life affects our priorities, and we have to decide how to handle it, what our priority will be for that season, etc.

Each year, new priorities pop up. Maybe you haven’t had a new reader for three years, and now your “caboose” needs daily reading instruction, time that had formally been given to other things. A natural season (i.e. a child in first or second grade) influences your prioritizing.

Yes, new priorities will emerge, but the decision to make something a priority and delete something else should be a conscious decision, not a decision that is made for you by outside forces.

The post 5 Influences to Determine Your Priorities appeared first on Character Ink.

Question: How can I start some of the character training concepts and habits that you describe with a toddler?

Answer: If you are just starting out with your family and have only a toddler, you have the perfect opportunity to start out right in the character training of your children! I will offer some general tips below, but even more importantly than the “daily ins and outs” of the ideas I recommend, I suggest that you read Parenting Paradigms at this blog. Even if you take to heart some of the ideas for your little one given in this Q and A, in the end, you will be more successful at character training if you have a firm handle on what you believe about parenting and children.

Toddler Character Training Tips:

1. Start adapting the toddler to your schedule and your family’s lifestyle as soon as you can (six to nine months) rather than making your family’s life revolve around the little one’s “wants.” You want to enjoy your toddler within the dynamics that your family already has (with the addition of the joy and wonder that a toddler brings into the family, of course)—as opposed to making everything change to meet unnecessary and often damaging demands that a toddler who is given his own way all the time can often make.

2. Remember that you are setting the stage right now for your child’s “tastes” (follow us on Positive Parenting 365 or schedule our seminar for more details about this important concept).

a. You can set his tastes for defiance (allowing screaming, throwing, thrashing, and “no” from him) or submission.

b. You can set his tastes for selfishness and meanness (allowing hitting or other forms of striking, giving in to him when he wants something that someone else has, always making his surroundings whatever he wants (i.e. no bedtime, no sitting in high chair, etc.) due to “fits” or for kindness, gentleness, sweetness, and tenderness.

c. You can set his tastes for hyper-stimulation and activity (too much running; no scheduled down times; television and videos all the time) or for simple things (books, healthy toys, rest, etc.).

d. You can set his tastes to lack focus and not enjoy learning (again, too much video, not starting out with books and simple music; an avalanche of cartoons and children’s programming (some of which are developed in two second bits to keep up with short attention spans, thus, causing kids’ attention spans not to lengthen as they should) or a love for learning (via books, strong family learning and discussion times, etc.).

3. Decide ahead of time what your “behavior absolutes” are.

a. These are the behaviors or character that you absolutely will not allow in your home. What you allow now will become the “acceptable behaviors” to your child. These seemingly innocent actions include “fibbing,” hitting, running the other way when called, etc.

b. For us, these “behavior absolutes” included talking back (no toddler saying “no” without being punished); lying or deceit; temper tantrums; and striking (hitting, pulling hair, throwing things at someone, etc.). Obviously, we wanted our kids to learn to obey and submit to us and to learn the many character qualities that are crucial to living a Christian life, but these four things were things we never wavered on—and things that we made huge deals out of when they were not adhered to by the toddler/preschooler.

4. Start showing your little one the joy of doing what is right. Contentment in your own life, the blessing of work, the joy of loving God and His people—and all of the character that you want your little one to adopt in his life—love, longsuffering, diligence, responsibility, and more will more likely be realized in our kids’ lives when we ourselves embrace and model them.

5. Try to establish routines that will aid in his character development—bedtimes, rising times, little “chores” (putting his books in his book basket after you read), nap times, meal times, story time, etc.

For more tips on toddlers and babies, click on the links provided below:

Who makes the decisions for the children—starts here and goes for a few days: Who Makes The Decisions

Say what you mean—starts here and goes for two days: Don’t Leave Your Little One at McDonald’s—Say What You Mean, Part ii of ii

A post on Storytime.

The post Character Q & A: How Can I Start Character Training With My Toddler? appeared first on Character Ink.

The post Parenting Seminar in Portland, Indiana Feb 1st and 2nd appeared first on Character Ink.

2. Enumerations—If his text uses a lot of enumeration, it could be that this subject has a significant number of lists to be learned. Point him to these lists and show him that often what is listed in the margins or sidebars is also expounded upon within the text.


3. Section headings—The more headings a book contains, the easier it is to learn from. The student is constantly reminded, by the headings and subheadings, of what the section is about. Show him how helpful these headings can be as he uses the book during his reading and for test preparation.
4. Pictorial aids—Maps are always in included in history textbooks. If his textbook contains a large assortment of maps, show him how they can help him see the big picture. Maps usually show where something that is discussed in the text occurred.

5. Glossary—Books that contain glossaries give the student an easy way to find definitions that may be more obscure within the text. Teach him to use this for quick finds, but encourage him to use the text itself for most studying since students who learn vocabulary in context retain it better.


6. Tables of Contents—The Table of Contents can be used somewhat like an index to find where information is in a particular chapter. It is especially good for getting a big picture about a whole chapter.

7. Prefaces, introductions, and summaries—If a text has any of these three, some of the work is already done for the student. Show him how advantageous these are for quick previewing of a chapter.


8. Footnotes—If a student is in a class that requires research papers, footnotes can be a real plus. We teach our research paper students to use lengthy works’ footnotes to find other credible sources that they might use in their papers.

9. Appendixes—Appendixes are the “extra credit” of the book. I always like to thin of myself as a prized pupil, so I tend to gravitate to these right at first, since they’re usually for those who want additional information—and I always want to know more! Tell your students that sometimes the appendixes aren’t even used in the actual course, but they are good for learning more, for research-based reports, and for cementing what is found in the text.


10. Indexes—If a book doesn’t have an index, I say send it back and get a new one! Show your student how quickly he can find information with the index. The more specific the index, the better it is for the student.




11. Bibliography—The bibliography gives lists of books, articles, and documents relating to the subjects in the textbook. Like footnotes, we direct our research paper students to these.


12. Pronunciation guides—These guides give the phonetic markings to aid in reading unfamiliar words. Many texts do not have these guides, but they are helpful in a class where a student will be giving presentations so the can pronounce unknown words correctly.


Any signaling or sign posting that a book contains is that much more opportunity for the visual learner, especially, to learn and retain. If you have an auditory learner, you might have to record his vital info on cd or cassette! Smile…More study skills coming soon!!!

The post Back-to-School Study Skills–Textbook Previewing With Your Kids Part I of III appeared first on Character Ink.

So…here is the first one….a link to many links about developing strong study habits for younger students. Now is really the time to get serious about implementing some of these schedules and ideas (before the day before-back-to-school!)….so, get your iced water with lemon and click and read! 🙂 Thanks for joining us!

https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-240-strong-study-skills-begin-with.html

The post Developing Strong Study Habits for Younger Students appeared first on Character Ink.

We really are going to move out of the “when you rise up” stage of “teaching them diligently”–honest! However, we have found that if you get the first hour or two of your day down the way you want it, you will have a much more successful day later on. Also, success in the morning motivates us to more success later in the day–success breeds success!

So, we have gone over and over the “faith in the mornings”–private devotions, listening in the mornings, family devotions and read alouds, and more.

The other area that we like to tackle following faith in the morning is character training via chores and responsibilities. We did an entire month of chores, morning routines, chore charts, and chore schedules last year, so I encourage you to go to the blogspot, look in the index under chores, and have at it.

For today, I am going to post the link for the “age appropriate chores.” Summer is the perfect time to establish new chore schedules, morning routines, and more!

Chore Resources: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-113-114-resources-for-chores.html

Age Appropriate Chores (starting here with littles for several days): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-115-age-appropriate-chores-for.html

The post When You Rise Up: Age Appropriate Chores–Character Building in the Mornings appeared first on Character Ink.

There are many reasons that I enjoy reading “collections” to my children:

1. The entries are usually fairly short. We can read from any one of our “collection” books in under ten minutes, for the most part. While I like to have a lengthy “morning reading” time (we sometimes call it Bible/Character/Creation Science reading) of forty-five to seventy minutes since we only do it three days a week (we only do it on my non-work {teaching writing to homeschoolers to test our books} days), with my “collections,” I know that I can just pick up two or three and be done reading in twenty to thirty minutes on rushed mornings.

2. It allows us to read about a variety of topics all at the same time. We run the gamut in any particular reading session (Bible character in “Character Sketches”; animal in “Character Sketches”; weather in “In His Hands”; godly hero in “Hero Tales” or “Cloud of Witnesses”); American history in “Patriot’s Almanac”; character story in “Great Stories Remembered II”; and much more!).

3. Each entry is self-contained. When we do ongoing stories, biographies, history text, etc., if one of my kids is gone, I feel like I can’t read those that day because someone will be missing out and will be in the dark when we have our next reading. With collections, it doesn’t matter if somebody is missing that day or we take off for five days to travel (though collections are extremely portable—see point four!). There is no “catching up.” This aspect also makes “collections” great for family read alouds, evening devotions, bedtime stories, etc. for Dad. If Dad is gone, we aren’t “reading ahead” without him; he missed an entry or two, but not part of an ongoing story, etc.

4. “Collections” make for great travel reading. If we bring two small collections, we have a variety of interesting reading at our fingertips. Thus, devotionals, story time, etc. can often be continued in some form while we are on the road. When my kids were younger, I would often keep an “Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories” book in the vehicle, so we had a variety of stories handy should we get detained for some reason. (I’m smiling fondly as I write this, remembering a couple of times in which we huddled under an overhang at a professional baseball game reading “Uncle Arthur’s” while the game was on hold for rain and while in a long line at Disney World gathered around our “Bedtime Story.”)

The next two posts will contain lists and links of the various “collections” that we have used with our kids for all types of reading. While we are still on “when you rise up,” I will include “all times of day” collections in these lists and specify how we have used them.

Also, I will break them up into two posts—one for “littles” (though my “biggies” often like these too!) and one for ages ten to twenty! Lastly, if you do not receive PP on FaceBook (by “LIKING” us), you might want to do so. I will be putting links, one at a time on that wall over several weeks. Thanks for joining us! Tell a friend about Positive Parenting!

The post “When You Rise Up”: Faith in the Mornings— Read Aloud Collections Part I of III appeared first on Character Ink.

I am going to make a random list of things I can remember our children doing for devotions, character, discipleship, etc. I’ll try to list them in a semi-chronological order by age group. (Books that are reviewed at PP 365 blogspot are marked with asterisk.)

*Early Readers’ Bible

Bible story book and audio sets, including “Stories That Live” (not sure if those are still out there but Joshua and Kayla used to love these!); NEST; and others that I picked up at the library (those little plastic bags with book/tapes or cd’s)

*Your Story Hour audios

Doughnut Man videos

*NEST videos

Patch the Pirate audios

Felt Bible lessons

*The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes

*Uncle Arthur Bedtime Stories

*The Picture Bible

*Family Bible Library

Youth Devotional Books

Key for Kids

Bible quizzing cards

Scribing—writing out a book of the Bible in a journal

Quote-ables—writing out verses, quotations, etc. in a journal

Biographies of godly heroes

Case for….books

Case for….books for kids

Psalm a day

Proverb a day

A Gospel chapter a day

Authors our teens have read widely:

C. S. Lewis


John Piper


A. W. Tozer


Ken Ham


Genevieve Foster


Martin Luther


Amy Carmichael


Hannah Hurrnah


Joni Eareckson Tada


John Bunyan


Josh McDowell


Lee Strobel


Elisabeth Eliot


Kay Arthur


Andrew Murrey


Charles Sheldon


R.A. Torrey


Henry Morris


Gary Parker


William Durrant


Franklin Graham


David Wilkerson

The post “When You Rise Up”: Faith in the Mornings— Children’s Personal Devotions Part III of III appeared first on Character Ink.

How many times do we say, “You always…” When we should say, “I feel like this or that happened..” How many times do we say, “Why can’t you…” When we should say, “It would be so great if you could…”

And then there’s the whole thought of hurtful words. How many times do we use hurtful words to our children instead of words of peace; words of love; words of affirmation; words of encouragement; or even words of helpful instruction?

Watch this clip with those thoughts in mind…and let’s all choose the right words today!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&feature=player_embedded#at=97

The post Words Make a Difference appeared first on Character Ink.

In keeping with a potential model in II Peter 1:5 as a basis for our how days would flow: “But also for this reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, and to your virtue, knowledge,” we started our kids’ days out with faith. This included private devotions, family devotions, read alouds, etc. through the years. Over the next couple of days I will give some ideas for this.

Today I will focus on Bible reading together in the mornings. I have expounded over the past year on much of the teaching that we received twenty-plus years ago from Gregg Harris (father of Josh Harris of “I Kissed Dating Good-Bye” and Alex and Brett Harris of “Do Hard Things”) in his “The Christian Homeschool Workshop.” One of the things that he taught us was to attach things that we want to implement in our homes to something that is already in our schedule, beginning with meal times.

We took his advice on this (and many other things) and came home and attached Bible teaching to just before breakfast—when we “rise up.” This has looked different all the time—some of the time Ray did it before work (and the kids went back to bed after he left!); some of the time I did it before breakfast; some of the time I did it during breakfast; some of the times we snuggled in my bed and read Bible and character materials before starting chores and the busy-ness of the day.

One of the downfalls of so many people out there telling us how to teach our children the Bible, how to have devotions, etc. is that it is often made to seem much more difficult than it is! (There are way more benefits, but this is definitely a downfall in our opinon.)

Tomorrow I will list many of the morning devotional ideas that we have used—some are as simple as reading a Proverb and talking! 

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