Besides the “techno free” zones and “sitting in your house” that I described in earlier posts, drive time has come to be a meaningful talk time for our family. (See Who’s Got Their Shoes On? for more one-on-one vehicle talking tips.) In this drive time post, I just want to encourage families in general to reduce the “independent” times in the vehicle and make drive time more “community” time.

We could never afford newer vehicles, complete with game systems or televisions. Thus, our drive time for many years included reading aloud, listening to audios, playing road games, and, of course, talking. (Now with computers, the kids sometimes write papers, watch movies, or play games while we drive.) As is the case with most things that families cannot afford, not being able to afford newer vehicles with electronics built in has had an immensely positive result: community time in the vehicle vs alone time.

We have had literally hundreds of hours of teaching and talking time with our kids in our van through the years. We talk one-on-one if it is just Dad and child or Mom and child, but the majority of our times in the van have been community—times to read aloud and discuss what we are reading; listen to an audio and share in stories and teachings together; and talk about family history, our beliefs, current events, church sermons, family standards, personal goals, ministry goals, relationship issues, and much more.

If your family drive times are more like “islands in the stream” than “group hugs,” we would encourage you to declare certain drive times as family times. Just announce that on Sundays, for example, no games or independent activities will be allowed but instead family time will be instituted. Buy some new audio series’ that will interest everybody. Get some “Ungame” cards out of an old “Ungame” in your closet or from Goodwill and read these allowed and discuss them. Do whatever it takes to make drive time more family time—and more talk time.

What are your favorite ways to utilize drive time? Do you like to unplug while you drive? If so, how do you make that happen?

Save

The post 52 Weeks of Talking To Our Kids: Drive Time appeared first on Character Ink.

What is a techno-free zone today? I remember when we would have our nightly living room meetings with our teens and pre-teens before they went to bed at night. We only had a television on a cart in our bedroom closet that we would pull out to watch things together as a family. We had one desk top computer in the dining room—an open room between the kitchen and living room. And that was it. Period.

Techno-free zones were easy to come by for us.

It got harder as the kids got older. We eventually had to declare techno free talks—phones off, etc.

But it is so worth it to set aside some times to talk as a family (or one-on-one) with no technology vying for everyone’s attention.

Of course, we have all seen the memes: put all the phones in a basket until the timer goes off then everybody gets theirs back; stack them upside down in the middle of the table and the first one to check theirs pays for dinner; hide the log in until a certain time, etc.

And those would probably work, but here are a few other tips to get you thinking about how you can talk to your kids without technology:

(1) Declare it…call it by a formal name, put it on the calendar, and make it happen: Don’t forget—tonight at 9….

(2) Have food! Especially with teens! Food keeps hands busy (so they won’t miss their phones!). And it makes teens very happy…chips and queso from your favorite Mexican place; breadsticks and cheese sauce from the wholesale club; caramel corn; cookies and milk; fruit and dip….doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, but the more unique to your family, the better. (We like to do cheese fondues! They take a while, and we talk and talk!)

(3) Have it some place special—around the fire pit, with a fireplace going and the lights dimmed, on the deck or front porch…some place where there are fewer things inside calling for them.

(4) Have it at a restaurant….even if it is fast food….once you are all seated, restaurants are great atmospheres for just talking. And teens love food…have I mentioned that?

(5) Make it short….if your kids (and parents!) check their phones every ten minutes, don’t expect to have three or four hour techno-free talks. It is better to have them more frequently but for less duration to ensure that kids don’t get bored. Also, if you set it from 9 to 10, you might easily find it going longer as the talking proceeds.

How have you established techno-free talks in your home? I would love to hear your ideas!

The post 52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Techno-Free Talk Time appeared first on Character Ink.