Welcome to another Wondering Wednesday A/V. Today’s episode is a V—video!

In this video, I show parents how to use our new “Consequence Pies” ebook/download (one of last month’s freebies!). However, if you do not have the Consequence Pies product, stay with me!

The methodology in this download (available here at our store) can be used with or without the product, and I explain that protocol in this video! (Plus, you could make your own pies easily after watching the video.)

The idea behind the Consequence Pies is to take control of negative routine behaviors (as opposed to one of the Four D’s—check out that product here) that are developing or that have developed by putting the outcome back in your child’s hands—while giving grace and “chances” as needed.

Watch the first part closely—there are things that must be done on the parents’ part before using this approach: training, rewarding, follow through, and more. But once all of that is done, it is time for the child to decide “yes, I am going to do my homework every day before computer time” or “yes, I am going to take out the trash like I am supposed to every day”—or suffer consequences (that he chooses ahead of time) for not following through on that routine behavior that I have been taught.

Consequence Pies can be used to help your children learn to develop character in routine behaviors in the areas of responsibility, thoroughness, diligence, prioritizing, resourcefulness, cleanliness, organization, follow through, and more. They make character training black and white (as opposed to the gray method of “I told you no tv until your extra reading is done” or “Why do you always forget to take the trash down?”).

Furthermore,this protocol puts the choice to follow through on the positive behavior (or not to follow through) back onto the child. He marks the pie pieces if he decides not to comply. No questions. No grayness. Lastly, it offers grace and “chances” as the child is learning the behavior.
 

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The post Video: Using The Consequence Pies appeared first on Character Ink.

Christmas story read aloud was truly one of the highlights of our year. I collected beautiful, amazing picture books that we read out of each afternoon during story time. Then as the kids got older, I began collecting story “collections” or “anthologies” to read short stories aloud at the dinner table, during unit studies, before bed, and while traveling by car. Still today we read aloud at least one Christmas story on family decorating night and one story on our family Christmas even—with all fifteen of us gathered around. We never tire of the same heart-warming stories year after year (though when the kids were younger and still at home, we did many, many different stories).

I love sharing “public domain” or “available online” stories in this blog for families to read aloud together during the Christmas season. This is one of those beautiful stories.

Lee Strobel, in his book, “A Case for Christmas,” tells the heart-warming story of the poverty-stricken family he met while “investigating” Christ (as an atheist) many years ago when he was a journalist for “The Chicago Tribune.”

This family, the Delgados, ultimately awakened his previously-absent faith, proving that during this time of year, and all of the time, the words, “they will know you are Christians by your love” are completely accurate.

The Delgados, sixty-year old Perfecta and her two granddaughters Lydia and Jenny, were living in a small apartment after having been burned out of their roach-infested tenement. Strobel arrived at their home as he was working on a series about the neediest people in Chicago. Strobel could not believe what he found—a small kitchen table and a handful of rice. A short-sleeved dress each for the girls—and one sweater that the two of them took turns wearing, alternating as they walked to and home from school a half mile away.

Besides the shock of extreme poverty that Mr. Strobel observed, he also witnessed another first—the hope and peace that this arthritic, sickly grandmother exuded. She was sure of her faith, convinced that Jesus had not and never would abandon them.

The atheist-journalist wrote the article, but could not get this family out of his mind. He pondered the irony of it all—this family had nothing but faith and yet was joy-filled. He had all things material, but lacked faith—and felt hollow within.

On Christmas Eve, he decided to drop in on the Delgados. What he saw again shocked him. Where there had been lack, there now was plenty. Where there had been emptiness, there now was fullness. The readers of his newspaper had responded generously to his article, providing this family with an apartment brimming with material gifts: roomfuls of furniture and appliances; beautiful Christmas tree with gifts galore beneath it; more food than they had probably seen in one place; myriads of clothing, including warm winter garments, scarves, gloves, and hats. Additionally, they had received thousands of dollars in cash.

Strobel’s retelling of the moments after he entered the apartment this second time is so poignant, allow me to quote from the book (and the website linked at the end of this post):

“But as surprised as I was by this outpouring, I was even more astonished by what my visit was interrupting: Perfecta and her granddaughters were getting ready to give away much of their newfound wealth.”

“ When I asked Perfecta why, she replied in halting English: ‘Our neighbors are still in need. We cannot have plenty while they have nothing. This is what Jesus would want us to do.’”

”That blew me away! If I had been in their position at that time in my life, I would have been hoarding everything. I asked Perfecta what she thought about the generosity of the people who had sent all of these goodies, and again her response amazed me: ‘This is wonderful; this is very good,’ she said, gesturing toward the largess. ‘We did nothing to deserve this — it’s a gift from God.’ ‘But’, she added, ‘it is not his greatest gift. No, we celebrate that tomorrow. That is Jesus.’”

”To her, this child in the manger was the undeserved gift that meant everything — more than material possessions, more than comfort, more than security. And at that moment, something inside of me wanted desperately to know this Jesus — because, in a sense, I saw him in Perfecta and her granddaughters.”

”They had peace despite poverty, while I had anxiety despite plenty; they knew the joy of generosity, while I only knew the loneliness of ambition; they looked heavenward for hope, while I only looked out for myself; they experienced the wonder of the spiritual while I was shackled to the shallowness of the material — and something made me long for what they had. Or, more accurately, for the One they knew.”

“The Delgados amazed me by the way they sacrificially reached out to their neighbors with a tangible expression of Christ’s love. What an opportunity for all of us to follow their cue this Christmas season — and to watch as God cracks open the hearts of even the most hard-hearted cynics.”

The quotes in this post were taken from Lee Strobel’s book, THE CASE FOR CHRISTMAS, as was the content of the story. (By the way, that book is an amazing Christmas devotional for families of kids ages twelve and up!)

You may access the story in its entirety, as well as more information about Mr. Strobel’s books here. (or click on the image below!)

P.S. What is your family’s favorite Christmas read aloud?

Love and hope,

The post A Case for Christmas appeared first on Character Ink.

“One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.” -Unknown

Summer is here! Whether our children attend preschool, private school, public school, or homeschool, there are things that we can all do during the summer to make it an enjoyable, growing time in our children’s lives.

Summer truly proves the quote above–that one good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. We have our children home all summer–either with us if we work at home or stay home with younger children or at home while we are working. Either way, we have all summer to be their “schoolmasters.”

I have a variety of topics to share with you concerning summer. Here is a sneak preview of some of them:

1. Scheduling your summer days (A schedule? If you have kids sleeping ‘til noon, you would be surprised how much more time you can have with your kids and how much you can get done, if you just had a semi-scheduled summer!)

2. Helping your struggling reader—this will be multi-posted. From helping your young, struggling “word caller” (with phonics, reading together, and more) to helping your child go from word calling to fluency to helping your children build their comprehension skills this summer so that when they attack various types of materials this fall at school, they will understand and retain better than ever. My master’s work is in reading specialist—and teaching reading, comprehension, writing, and language arts are my true loves!

3. “Losing” academic skills in the summer? Which children really need academics in the summer?

4. Summer “skills” books vs instruction? How do you know what your child really needs this summer?

5. Reading aloud and summer library time—of course!

6. Penmanship helps—improve your child’s penmanship this summer in just a few minutes a day.

7. Math drill—get a simple, no nonsense math drill that will keep your kids’ skills sharp all year long.

8. Relationship building in the summer—especially with those older kids who are home from college for the summer!

9. Implementing those things that you always say you’re going to do and always want to do but that do not happen during the school year!

10. Much more!

I will try to move quickly so that we will be through them all in a few weeks, so you will still have a good six weeks to work on things that are suggested, if you decide you need to. Thanks for joining us!

The post Summer Is Here—Keeping Skills and Gaining New Ones appeared first on Character Ink.

Things to Consider About Our Relationships During Intense Training Times

(1) To your child, it can feel like he is being ganged up on—or that he is not as loved because there is so much “negative” in the form of training, punishment, consequences, etc. You want to be sure you are combating this with attention, affirmation, encouragement, heart engagement, and many positives.
 
(2) Keep these ten tips close-by to be sure that you are staying close and connected when he feels less than positive about the changes and expectations.
 
(3) While it might not be possible during these intense times to follow a certain protocol (i.e. three positives for every one negative; ten affirmations for every negative feedback/correction, etc.), it is still important not to have a negative environment in which every thing is about the training, changes, and expectations.
 

Listen to the podcast here!

Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Training Times With Tweens and Teens

(1) Remember, to your child, perception is reality. If he feels ganged up on, to him, he really is. If he feels that you do not LIKE him, to him, you really do not. If he feels like you are only focusing on negatives right now, to him, you are.

(2) Don’t over-focus on correction (i.e. too many areas at the same time; once you are on a roll about one thing, you find yourself picking/correcting every little thing). Choose the biggest things first ( see Four D’s of Behavior and Handling Heart Behaviors in Tweens). Don’t try to tackle everything at one time.

(3) Have more-than-normal amounts of one-on-one time with your child. (See our Keep Close Coupons.)

(4) Affirm your child’s good behavior and character during this time—early and often. (See our Affirmation Cards.)

(5) Give little gifts and plan little surprises. (See our Kid’s Faves Worsheets.)

(6) Have lots of family time, stressing family unity and love among family members.

(7) Say yes when you can. (This is already a time of a lot of no’s if he is being punished or having a lot of consequences; don’t pile on unnecessary no’s.)

(8) Be sure he sees you linking responsibility with privilege. (See my latest article—”The One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything.”) When improvements are made in his character, he should see immediate changes in his privileges—just like he should have seen lessening of privileges when responsibility wasn’t as good.)

(9) Use key times wisely. Drive time. Just the two of you home. Mornings. Dinner preparation. Bedtimes. Porch time. Tech-free zone time. All of these times are good times to connect to your child’s heart.

(10) Ask good questions. Focus on the WHY…..not just literal questions.

Links

Podcast: Four D’s of Behavior
Podcast: Dealing With Heart Issues of Tweens
Blog post: Four Things Teens and Young Adults Need
Blog post: Teaching Children to Ask Questions
Blog Post: The One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything
Blog Post: A is for Affirmation

The post Podcast Notes: Ten Tips for Staying Close During Intense Training Times appeared first on Character Ink.

Download the podcast notes here.

Listen to previous podcasts here.

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Introduction

1) Kevin Leman’s book Making Kids Mind Without Losing Yours—introduction to Reality Discipline
 
2) Link responsibility with privilege—get the responsibility level up to the ability level. (Read “The One Parenting Practice That Changes Everything.”)

Four D’s vs. Character Training

1. Be sure you understand the Four D’s of Behavior—the seriousness of them, the effect that they have on a child’s future relationships/life, the difference in handling them compared to character/routine training. (Listen to The Four D’s of Behavior; listen to Dealing With Heart Issues of Tweens.)

2. Determine how you will handle The Four D Behaviors first—and be sure these are your focus. (Yes, completing assignments and doing chores on time are important, but those do not compare with respect, submission, honesty, and kindness.)

Understand Character Behaviors/Routine Behaviors

1. Not Four D’s
2. Routine sums it up
3. Character qualities for living—responsibility, orderliness, thoroughness, diligence, neatness, timeliness, resourcefulness, etc.
4. Deficiencies usually show up in “routine” behaviors—not finishing homework, not cleaning bedroom, not doing chores on the chore chart, turning in poor work (without trying hard), etc.

Keys to Solving Character Behaviors/Routine Behaviors

1) All discipline problems are better solved (Four D’s and Routine) when a behavior is taken from gray to black & white. (Again, listen to podcasts on Four D’s and Handling Heart Behaviors to hear more of making behaviors black & white.)
 
2) In character training, that means, taking something from routine (chore time) to direct (it is chore time; when you are done with those four tasks, come to me).
 
3) Character/Routine Behaviors that are not done can be handled well with consequences that fit the infraction (“reality discipline”)
 
4) Reality discipline = the reality of the situation (for adulthood and other times in child’s life) is that you don’t get the reward of that (money, stable family, clean house, etc.)—this in smaller scale (with lots of training and rewards) also works for children

Character/Routine Behaviors Should Follow Systematic Order

1) Teach the skill or result you want thoroughly…every single step of the way!
 
2) Provide ample time to learn (allow learning curve time in which your involvement goes from heavy/full to lighter then none)
 
3) Provide visuals/reminders/steps/lists (if not always, at least at first for that behavior or skill)
 
4) Reward for follow through (i.e. stickers then family reward for new chore chart; chart for independent work filled in equals ice cream with Dad, etc.)
 
5) Reduce reward as child becomes proficient, reminding child we don’t get rewards for all the things we do in life
 
6) If still not doing it, take it from gray (routine…everybody should be doing independent work now) to black and white

a. One or two tasks then report to Mom
b. Direct instruction for longer
c. Consequence Pie

Using the Consequence Pie*

(see Printables “Consequence Pies for Character Training”)

1. Determine (with spouse, if possible) ahead of time what behaviors/routine problems are the most troublesome. (Pick one, two, or three**, depending on age: getting on computer before school is done; writing too sloppy on math pages; not taking trash down on Thursday nights; not cleaning room on Saturday mornings; working too slowly during family work time; etc.)
 
2. Meet with the child (with both parents whenever possible). With your child, come up with a list of the two (for four piece pie), three (for six piece pie), and four (for eight piece pie) most favorite things that the child enjoys doing. Write these down on the Consequence Pie in the order that he likes them least to greatest in the blanks (not pieces marked GRACE). In other words, if his least favorite of the three is watching a movie on Friday nights, put that in #2 piece; then his middle one is watching Youtube videos, put this on #4 piece; and his favorite is playing computer games after school for half an hour, put that in #6.
 
3. Explain the behaviors and the EXACT expectations. (See expectation explanations at our blog and listen to Terms and Concepts From a Raising Kids With Character Parenting Seminar.) Write these on the bottom of the Consequence Pie Sheet.
 
4. Have your child repeat back to you the behaviors that are expected, including the details (time, duration, number of problems that must be done, etc.—whatever that might be).
 
5. Explain the Consequence Pie system to him. (See sample explanation below.)
 
6. When the first infraction is committed, have your child go and physically move the spinner to the next pie piece and use a permanent marker to put an X on that piece. (Do not do it for him. Tell him, “You didn’t finish school today before you began playing, so go move the spinner and put an X on Piece #1.” No discussion. No begging. Remove yourself from the situation and let him go mark it.)
 
7. When the next infraction is committed, do the same as the previous step except say, “You forgot the trash again. Go move the spinner over to #2 and put an X on it. No movie on Friday night.” (End discussion.)
 
8. Continue in this manner until it gets close to his ultimate favorite. (This is why you might need an eight piece pie if your child is characterized by not obeying or following through. Also, if he is characterized by that, limit the number of behaviors you are working on at the time to one or two.)

*This idea was adapted from a short presentation I heard in church many years ago. I looked it up online, but I cannot find it. I believe it was called Smart Parenting. I have made several changes to it in order to make it consistent with our Raising Kids With Character seminar foundations, but I did want to point out that the original idea came from elsewhere.

**Whether you use the four, six, or eight piece Consequence Pie will be determined by many things:

a. Age of child—just choose one behavior and the four piece pie for younger children (or the six piece if behaviors are really out of control in that area).
b. Number of behaviors—if you are working on, responsibility, for example, and you want to work on three areas for your older teen (taking down the trash, finishing school by 2:00 without doing anything else except for his break, and doing evening chores between 4:00 and 4:30 without being reminded), you could use the eight piece pie and include all three behaviors on the list.

Sample Explanation of the Consequence Pie

“We are going to be working on some character issues with you. Specifically, we want you to change this one behavior (name it) or these two or three behaviors (name them). We have already trained you in your task. We have already rewarded you for doing them. Now it is time for you to make them your own. We will determine together what the consequences will be, and we will use this pie (the listing of things and the marking off of consequences) to help you learn to make these good behaviors your own, rather than the negative behaviors that we have been having.”

Listen to the podcast here!

The post Podcast Notes: Character Training Routine Behaviors (With The Consequence Pie) appeared first on Character Ink.

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Listen to previous podcasts here.

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Recently when my sister, her husband, and her two young teen daughters were here visiting in Indiana from North Carolina, we took as many from our family who could come and my sister’s family to our local YMCA to play a game called “walleyball” (rhymes with volleyball). This game is similar to volleyball in its rules–with the addition of walls as it is played in a racquetball court.

Since the court is smaller than a regular court, the game is actually a little easier for those who are not as strong–but not as easy for stronger people who hit the back wall (one of the out of bounds zones) quite often. The combination of the walls, the rules, the size of the court, and the various strengths of the players that night has made me think over and over again in the days since we played about the idea of the “mulligan.”

As indicated in the opening of this post, a mulligan is “an extra stroke allowed after a poor shot”–that is NOT counted on the scorecard or against the one who has been issued the “second chance.”

This term is one that we have thrown around our family of seven children (now ages seventeen through thirty-two) for years since my husband is a master at adapting games to fit the crowd who is playing. He loves to bring two or three families together and modify a kickball game or our oldest son’s homemade handball invention in order to allow littles to play with biggies; parents to play with children; and lesser skilled participants to play with “athletes.” Thus, a “mulligan” is a familiar word–and one that has been spoken many, many times in our home over our thirty-two years of parenting as we have enjoyed playing with our children.

It wasn’t uncommon during our walleyball night to hear someone shout “mulligan” whenever a person attempted to serve but didn’t make it over the net. Then we would evaluate and determine “yes” the person gets a mulligan or “no” he does not. What has led me to think of these mulligans quite often since that evening is the criterion on which we based giving mulligans during our play.

I mean, how does someone tell a sweet, small, twelve-year-old balletic niece that she cannot have a do-over after she tried so hard to get the ball over the net?  Or how do you turn down a poor middle-aged sister (*smile*) who is still recovering from frozen shoulder surgery: “too bad–you should have hit it harder”?

So when did we give mulligans that night–and what does this have to do with parenting?

Allow me to give you our walleyball mulligan run-down:

1. My younger niece is not a “ball” type of athlete. She is a dancer, cheerleader, and gymnast. She is also fairly tiny. She was a good sport about the whole night–but walleyball probably wouldn’t be her first choice of games. Because she is small, she had trouble getting her serves over at times, so everybody agreed to give our sweet Brittany some mulligans when her serve fell short of the net.

2. My sister had just had surgery for frozen shoulder approximately ten weeks before our Y night. She was able to play okay, but definitely didn’t have the range of motion that a serve often requires. Thus, we moved her closer to the net and gave her mulligans.

3. Our youngest daughter (24) has never been a volleyball player. She always thought she was terrible at it, and she often sat on the sidelines and watched others play through the years (in spite of her being very fit, a runner, and serious ab-workout girl!). She wouldn’t ask for a mulligan when she missed, but because she has just been learning volleyball over the past few years, we sometimes offered her a mulligan as well.

Who didn’t get a mulligan?

1. I adore volleyball. I played a little in high school, and while I’m not great at it, my years of experience in playing it at picnics, etc., meant that I was not a mulligan candidate.

2. See that athlete in the picture above–serious tennies and headband? That is our son’s wife who was the captain of her high school volleyball team and took MVP at nationals. She played a year of volleyball in college–no mulligan for that expert!

3. See that young man below? He is our seventeen year old–our youngest child. And he can be hyper, funny, loud, helpful, compassionate, and crazy all at the same time. On this particular night, he (as many seventeen year old boys do) tried to serve overhanded as hard as he could in an effort to score on every serve. Thus, he often hit the ball too hard and hit the back wall or the ceiling–both out of bounds spots. No mulligan for someone who knows how to do it but is hot dogging! 😉

4. None of the men or teen boys got mulligans. They are strong, athletic, and competitive. No motivation or encouragement was needed!

So what does this have to do with parenting? More than you might think.

In the “game” of parenting, we have the opportunity every day to give more chances or to show “tough love”–to extend grace or to train through consequences. We face these situations often unprepared.

We lament over them–“I just feel like if I don’t bring his shoes to gym class and he gets an F for the day, he will blame me” or “I know we have told her dozens of times not to leave her phone lying around at the gym, but now that it is stolen, I feel sorry for her because she misses talking to her friends. And we homeschool, so her phone is a way she socializes,” etc. etc. etc.

And I am not making light of any of these scenarios. We, after all, have raised six “teens”–and have one teen that we are in the thick of raising (a last child, nonetheless!).

Grace. Training. Mercy. Responsibility. I mean, honestly, who wants to choose among those?

warming up…

But let’s break down our walleyball game a little further to see if we can get some benchmarks for giving our kids mulligans:

1. Brittany is younger. She is not as strong as the big guys. She is not as used to ball handling like her sister who plays basketball at school. Extending mulligans to Brittany, who was trying to serve the ball over the net with all her might and had a good attitude in the process, is a good decision.

And so is giving a mulligan to a child who is struggling and genuinely wants to change/alter his behavior/make things different. And you know what? Most of the time we parents know when this child deserves a mulligan. The key is going to be to not give mulligans forever to a struggling child–but to gradually reduce the mulligans as the child becomes stronger and more adept.

2. My sister was injured for pity’s sake! She was being a sport just joining in the family fun.

When a child is downhearted or overwhelmed, he often needs grace. I don’t mean in trouble because of continual bad decisions or poor character but rather truly discouraged. When mercy is extended to a child in this situation, it can make a huge difference in how he pulls himself up by his bootstraps and gets moving in the right direction.

How long does a person with a shoulder injury need to recuperate before she should just serve already? Just as my sister’s doctor told her that it varies from person to person (with hers being more extensive once they got in there and found bone spurs as well), so it is with our children.

This is where heart parenting really comes in to play. Should the mulligans come to an end and this “injured one” come back now? Are we prolonging the healing process by not letting her live with consequences?

Someone who is hurting needs a mulligan–but not forever.

3. Volleyball playing is somewhat of a new experience for Kara. Granted, she is twenty-four, but she has only been getting on the court and playing over the past couple of years. You could say that she is in volleyball training.

A child who is “in training” in a certain area needs more mulligans than the child who has already been doing that skill or task for a while. We talk about this in our parenting seminar (Raising Kids With Character)–the idea of “childishness.” Childishness (forgetfulness, irresponsibility, etc.) in a child who is still learning his morning routine or his after school chores is best handled incrementally–with mulligans in place as needed–but not so many mulligans that the immaturity and irresponsibility remain.

We gave Kara a mulligan or two–but her volleyball training is about over (evidenced by how much better she played tonight than the previous time we played), and her walleyball mulligans are about to come to an end as well.

What about those who didn’t get mulligans?

1. Strong people who have done something over and over again do not need the motivation that comes with a mulligan (usually). It was easy to tell our twenty-two year old, athletic son to roll the ball under the net if he hit the ceiling on his serve. No training was taking place; no motivation or encouragement was needed.

2. Those who were hitting the ball so hard that it hit the ceiling or the back wall did not need mulligans. They needed to learn cause and effect. Walleyball is different than volleyball–the court is shorter and the back wall and ceiling are off limits. If you continue to smack the ball with that force, you will serve it out, and the other team will get the ball.

It wasn’t that hard in our walleyball game to determine who got a mulligan and who didn’t.

And while that isn’t always the case in parenting, we can use some key benchmarks for extending grace, including age of the child, past experience, whether other consequences have already been in place but didn’t help, the attitude of the child at the time, the frequency with which something occurs, the strength of the child, and more.

Because sometimes each one of us needs a mulligan in this game called life. But we also need to learn and grow. Because each of us needs a little grace sometimes. But because the Bible tells us that we can easily take advantage of that grace. Because we don’t want to exasperate our children. But we don’t want to be the kind of parent who doesn’t help our child become responsible or kind or thoughtful. Yes, sometimes we need to give our children mulligans.

The post When Do I Give My Child a “Mulligan”? appeared first on Character Ink.

Listen to the podcast here!

Grace-Based Parenting

1. Good thing!
2. Allows kids four freedoms

a. Freedom to be different
b. Freedom to be vulnerable
c. Freedom to be open
d. Freedom to make mistakes

3. Giving kids grace doesn’t mean there are not
consequences or that we do not correct our kids
4. Means that our relationship is never at risk due to their behavior
5. Means our love never changes based on the freedoms we give them (above)

Problem Isn’t With Grace-Based Parenting; Problem With People’s Interpretation of It

1. Misunderstanding it—thinking it means anything goes or hands off parenting
2. Misusing it—just like we mishandle God’s grace towards us, we mishandle the grace we give our kids

Bottom Line in Grace-Based Parenting (and Raising Kids With Character!): Treat our children the same way that God treats us

Definition Mulligan: an informal golf terms that means giving an extra stroke after a poor shot that is not counted against the golfer

Walleyball-–played in racquetball court; smaller court than volleyball; walls to hit it off of and walls/ceiling to be “out”

Mulligans in Our Walleyball Game

1. Younger Niece; small; had trouble with serves
2. Sister: frozen shoulder surgery
3. Daughter: inexperienced player

No Mulligans

1. Me: High school (albeit not great!) volleyball player
2. Daughter-in-law: high school and college volleyball player
3. Son: seventeen year old hot dogging it
4. Teen/college guys and husbands

What to Do With Kids’ Behaviors

1. Grace?
2. Training?
3. Mercy?
4. Responsibility?

Mulligans in Life

1. Niece—smaller; give to child who is struggling or weak
2. Sister—injured; give to child who is injured but not forever
3. Daughter—inexperienced; give to a chld who is in training

No Mulligans in Life?

1. Strong people
2. Those who are in need of “reality training” (hot dogging it)
3. Those who are already well trained in area

Print this post here!

Listen to the podcast here!

The post Podcast Notes: “How Do I Know When to Give Chances and When to Take Action: When to Give Our Kids a Mulligan” appeared first on Character Ink.

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