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I. Introduction
a. Welcome
b. Our story: How we discovered Husband-Wife Meetings and their impact
c. The power of weekly and/or monthly changes in a home
II. Meeting the Needs of Your Wife and Children in General
a. Head/leader/servant leader—Janitor
b. “Dwell with your wife according to knowledge” I Peter 3:7
c. Up to you to lead/initiate changes and improvement in your family; your wife is your helpmate
d. Security in wife and children comes from their knowing that you are close to God and you want the best for your family.
e. Wife and children feeling loved comes from their knowing that their husband/father is willing to sacrifice his time, hobbies, interests, work pursuits, etc. for them
III. Three Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Secure
A. Husband-Wife Meetings—call whatever you want “change meeting” or “improvement meeting” or “need-meeting session”!
i. Meet weekly to talk through things in general and to check on the change you are working on
ii. Be sure that a change has concrete steps to make it happen
a. Not more devotional time as a family but meal time reading together four times a week
b. Not improve Johnny’s reading but “read aloud sessions” with Johnny twice a day four days a week—once with Mom and once with Dad plus daily phonics lessons/review with mom
c. Not help Sally have better attitude but attitude check up meetings before bed; one hour alone with Mom and one hour alone with Dad each week; develop and follow through on a non-confrontational signal we will use to remind her that her tone and response are not acceptable; talk about what is frustrating her and how we can help her accept things she is discontent with or help her make changes in the areas that are in her control
B. Daily Connect Times—“couch time” or “twalk” or “travel phone time”
a. Lets children know that Mom comes first
b. Lets wife know that when you get home (or on the way home to use drive time efficiently), she will have your undivided attention for a little bit
c. Lets family know that you care about what went on that day and that you truly want to be a part of their day
d. Helps you know the needs better for the evening
C. Dates—whenever possible
a. Be creative if have small children (pizza or pie date after kids are in bed; our old ping pong dates after bedtime; coffee or dessert when kids are asleep; whatever you can afford is better than nothing)
b. Set aside time and money for this and initiate setting the dates up (don’t wait for her to beg you for a date)
c. If you are not good at setting up dates, let her do it but ask her specifically to do it (don’t make her beg you for a date!)—for example, “I was hoping we could go on two dates this month. Is it possible for you to line them up on any of our available times/days—you get the sitter and the time, and I’ll pay!” 🙂
d. If the first two connection times are in place, the date will be much more enjoyable for both of you (not as many problems to solve!)
e. Try to do a date a week—even if half or more of them are at home…just the act of setting aside the time is huge to a wife
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