by Donna | Jun 5, 2010
“Daddy called and said that he is not going to be home for another half an hour, so my brother helped me set up army men. We worked and worked, making the forts and setting up all the cannons and everything. We got done setting up just in time to eat dinner. Mommy said we could leave it out for later.”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
One thing I loved about the routines that I had with my little ones is that they were never bored. They never complained that they had nothing to do. Or said they were bored, etc. Ever…I really cannot remember any of my kids ever being bored, ever—no matter what the age. For example, in today and yesterday’s excerpts, Jonathan had run out of time and didn’t even get to his army men yet. (Of course, above, since Dad was coming home late, he got to them.) His day was coming to an end, but he hadn’t done everything his little heart wanted to that day!
One problem we did always have was setting things up to play with and leaving them out. This was not conducive to a large family with little kids. When we had a bigger house, we could let them set things up in a room and shut the door. In our small house, we do not have that option. If you have that option, I recommend letting your kids do that.
We always encouraged our older kids to play a big role in the lives of the littles. Some day I will post Jonathan’s salvation testimony he wrote in seventh grade—and how his big brother read Scriptures to him at night and ultimately led him to the Lord. It is priceless. In the passage today, Joshua was helping Jonathan set up his army men. Playing with Jonathan, despite the ten year age difference, was one way that Joshua built an enduring relationship with Jonathan that is still strong today at their ages (twenty-seven and seventeen—at ten o’clock on a Friday night here, Jonathan is in town playing basketball with Joshua and some other guys—still playing, just different games now!).
Lastly, I want to point out the importance of not exasperating our children. The Bible says that fathers, specifically, should not provoke their children to wrath. One way that we provoke or exasperate our children is by rushing them all the time. In the excerpt above, Jonathan was happy because he was permitted to leave his army men set up for Dad to see and to play with later. To have him take it all down immediately, when he and Joshua had just set it up, would have definitely exasperated him.
by Donna | Jun 4, 2010
“When Josiah finally woke up, Mommy, Josiah, and I played puzzles on the floor. We did our huge ABC floor puzzle. It’s really neat. We left it out for Daddy to see.
The next thing I knew it was time for evening chores. I didn’t even get to play army men yet! Josiah and I had to unload the dishwasher and set the table. Kayla and Cami are making bbq chicken tonight. Yum!”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
There are a few tips we can glean from today’s excerpt. First of all, as I mentioned earlier, if you are not going to allow your preschooler to watch television and play electronics all day, the day will oftentimes go slowly for your little one. That is one reason I liked to break my preschoolers’ day up with a routine. Secondly, we can counteract that potential boredom by doing fun and educational things with our little one, such as the floor puzzle that that little guys and I did in today’s passage. Many of the activities introduced in the room time blog post are good activities to do with the toddler and preschooler. (See earlier posts for activities and book ideas—links are given below.)
All throughout this blog, I have mentioned including the preschooler in your day (and the day of your other children if you homeschool). Our third chore session was about to begin in the excerpt above. Again, if you make chores a daily part of your little one’s day, there will not be a daily fight. Our kids knew when Chore I, Chore II, and Chore III were going to take place. And our little ones, especially, had the exact same daily chores, so they were never surprised by them. (See the blog about age appropriate chores for this age group too—links below.)
Your days with preschoolers and toddlers can be filled with joy, fun, learning, growing, Bible teaching, character training, and love. I pray that this will be the case for all of our Positive Parenting 3*6*5 readers.
Links to older posts referred to in this post:
Devotional read alouds for preschoolers Part I: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-134-devotionals-morning-or-anytime.html
Devotional read alouds for preschoolers Part II: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-135-devotionals-read-aloud-books.html
Age appropriate chores Pre K/K: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-116-age-appropriate-chores-pre-kk.html
Age appropriate chores for toddlers and preschoolers: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-115-age-appropriate-chores-for.html
Links and ideas for activities for preschoolers: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-one-hundred-one-links-and-ideas-for.html
Links and ideas for activities for toddlers: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-one-hundred-links-and-ideas-for.html
Involving preschoolers with older kids: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-ninety-six-involving-preschoolers.html
by Donna | Jun 2, 2010
“Josiah slept FOREVER today, so I got bored. It stopped raining after lunch, so Mommy said I should go outside and jump on the trampoline—I think I was getting on her nerves. My three big sisters got done with their school work and came out and jumped. We played ‘California Earthquake’ until Mommy finished her writing on the computer.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
Jonathan was in the process of learning deference and patience while Mommy was busy! We stressed character training with our children from their births. Part of that character training was that of learning deference. Deference is a big word that simply means “prefer” or “defer” to someone else. It is a character quality that we desperately need in our world! In our me-saturated society, we seldom defer to others—that is, put others above ourselves.
One way that our little ones can learn deference is to defer and be patient when their wants cannot be addressed right at that moment. (Notice I said “wants”—not “needs.”) Jonathan was sent outside to jump on the trampoline with his sisters so that Mommy could get something done. (As he put it, “I think I was getting on her nerves!” He’s always been a smart one!)
When our third child Cami was six years old and outgrew her nap, she would follow me around when I was trying to have lunch, read, plan, etc., asking me questions, wanting this or that, etc. I had been used to her taking a nap and having a little free time, but not anymore! (Keep in mind I had already given her and her siblings at least six hours straight of my time—reading, playing, doing school, learning together, overseeing chores, etc.) Finally, I had to set the timer every afternoon for thirty minutes and tell her that during that thirty minutes she couldn’t bother Mama. She watched the timer go down every afternoon at first, waiting until she could use all of the words she had stored up in that half hour, but eventually, she learned to let Mommy have a little break. (We all still tease her about being so high need we had to set a timer for a thirty-minute-no-need period of time, and it is probably part of the reason why the “little” boys have dubbed her “Needy Child Number One” when she calls—the other older kids are Numbers Two, Three, and Four, of course!)
Preschoolers and toddlers do have a lot of needs. That is one of the reasons that we stress the Preventive Parenting ideas that we do—naps, schedules, room time, activities, story time etc. all help channel these littles ones into a daily routine that is good for them and Mom. However, they also must learn the difference between wants and needs—and that sometimes wants must wait for a little while.
by Donna | May 30, 2010
“After story time, Josiah had to take his nap, and I set the timer for half an hour and played on the computer. My big brother let me play his World War II game. It’s really fun.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
Nap tips for preschoolers and toddlers continued from yesterday….
6. Surround the naptime with routine. I always had a noontime schedule that went something like this with my littles: lunch, lunch clean up (older kids did this while I nursed baby or did toddler’s short story time—see earlier posts about story time), storytime for one to two hours, then naps for two hours. My toddlers always took three hour naps and played in crib for another hour or so. My preschoolers always read with me for an hour or two then slept for two hours. Then they asked if they could get up. If, for some reason they awoke early and the other kids and I were in the middle of a project or needed for the little one to rest a little while longer, the little one lay in bed and looked at books or did a quiet activity. This routine went on for years and years, literally! Everybody knew what to expect.
7. Use talking books or radio dramas (like Your Story Hour or Adventures in Odyssey) if your kids need something to listen to while they drift off to sleep. (For toddlers, I often used Christian lullabyes, Steve Green’s Hide ‘Em in Your Hearts, or Scripture tapes.) As my preschoolers got older and could operate the tape player by themselves, they could put tapes in if they woke up too early from naps or in the mornings.
8. You determine when a child outgrows his nap. For me, when the child could not fall asleep at night at his normal bedtime or would lie in bed all afternoon without falling asleep, I knew naptime was coming to a close for that preschooler. This usually happened around age six or so in our home. However, usually until age seven or eight, at least, everybody had a quiet time after story time. This meant that for an hour everybody would lie down and look at books, listen to tapes, etc. When I had five children nine and under (and all of them were at home with me all the time), I needed to know that out of the thirteen hours or so everyday that Ray was at work, I had an hour in which nobody needed anything. I always looked forward to that hour and would eat my lunch, plan my lessons, read parenting/homeschooling books, etc.
It sounds trite and even a little regimented in writing, but it simply wasn’t so. It was almost glorious, actually. Having content, cooperative, sweet preschoolers was the added benefit of keeping my little ones on good schedules, including necessary naps.
You can do this! And you will be so glad you did when you (and everybody around you) enjoy having your little ones around.
by Donna | May 29, 2010
“After story time, Josiah had to take his nap, and I set the timer for half an hour and played on the computer. My big brother let me play his World War II game. It’s really fun.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
The other preschool area that this excerpt alludes to is that of nap time. We were blessed early in our child rearing years to have families a little bit older than we leading the path in baby, toddler, and preschool parenting. We learned so many things from them, including having Bible time, training little ones to obey, reading stories before naps, enforcing nap times and bed times, and much more. (Never underestimate the power you have to model/influence others through your parenting.) Little did I know, when we just had Joshua, how crucial it would be in my mothering (and my sanity!) to have well-established routines and schedules—especially that of nap times.
I will enumerate some nap time tips today and tomorrow that I have learned through my twenty-seven years of parenting:
1. Naps are for Mom just as much as they are for the little ones. Smile…
2. Children were given to parents to protect and care for them. Part of this is discerning when and what your child needs to eat, how much sleep (and when) he requires, what is safe for a child at various ages, etc. In other words, you need to be the one to determine your child’s bed time, rising time, and nap time—based on his needs and your family dynamics.
3. Naps, just like anything else you want your little ones to do, are learned behaviors. If you religiously lay all children down in the afternoon every day at 1:00 (or whenever) in the same way that you buckle them in the car, it WILL BE just like buckling them in the car. There will not be a daily struggle to put kids down for naps anymore than there is a twenty minute fight when getting in the car.
4. If you have not implemented nap schedules but allowed kids to fall asleep or not fall asleep while watching cartoons (and consequently, be grouchy later in the day because they needed sleep they did not get), it will not be easy to start daily naps. However, the long term benefits far outweigh any small inconvenience and struggle it may be to make naps a daily habit. If your children do not nap but are irritable from four until six every afternoon, it is probably because they need naps. (Come to think of it, if you are irritable every day from four to six, it is probably because you need naps too! Smile…)
Nap tips continued tomorrow….
