by Donna | Jul 7, 2011
“You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” Deuteronomy 6:7
We really are going to move out of the “when you rise up” stage of “teaching them diligently”–honest! However, we have found that if you get the first hour or two of your day down the way you want it, you will have a much more successful day later on. Also, success in the morning motivates us to more success later in the day–success breeds success!
So, we have gone over and over the “faith in the mornings”–private devotions, listening in the mornings, family devotions and read alouds, and more.
The other area that we like to tackle following faith in the morning is character training via chores and responsibilities. We did an entire month of chores, morning routines, chore charts, and chore schedules last year, so I encourage you to go to the blogspot, look in the index under chores, and have at it.
For today, I am going to post the link for the “age appropriate chores.” Summer is the perfect time to establish new chore schedules, morning routines, and more!
Chore Resources: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-113-114-resources-for-chores.html
Age Appropriate Chores (starting here with littles for several days): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-115-age-appropriate-chores-for.html
by Donna | Apr 27, 2010
“Before I knew it, it was time to set the table for lunch. Josiah and I raced to see who could get done with our jobs first. I slowed down at the end so Josiah could catch up—then I let him win! Mommy took me into her room alone and gave me a million hugs. She said she was so happy that I was learning to see how others feel—and that I make Josiah feel important. I think she’ll probably tell Daddy, and he’ll say, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!” I love it when he says that—he always has a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes when he does.”*
–All of the “Help” and “Chores on his Own” listed in yesterday’s post (toddler and preschool list)
-“Help”**:
1. Weekly cleaning of his bedroom (see daily cleaning under own chores below)
2. Weekly cleaning of toy room (let him help you develop systems—more on this later)
3. Put refrigerated grocery items away in proper places (again, with him knowing systems well after having worked with you)
4. Learn to run washing machine and dryer—with help and oversight
5. Help wash car
6. Help clean out car—gradually make this alone chore by end of sixth year
7. Help with baking, including rolling out his own dough (that room time play dough helped!), rolling balls of dough for rolls or cookies, stirring, chopping nuts (hit with rolling pin in zip lock bag)
8. Help with meal preparation, including learning to assemble salad with prepared ingredients, layering of ingredients for casseroles, etc., making more elaborate sandwiches like submarines,
9. Help prepare packed lunches
10. Start learning to cut and clean produce (with child’s safety knife—Pampered Chef used to carry these)—start with cutting lettuce with scissors, cleaning grapes, peeling potatoes as ready, slicing bananas for salad or smoothies, cutting and filling celery, etc. Work together on fresh food preparation, and you will be surprised what your six year old can do!
11. Work in yard with you—give small tasks and have child report back to you for you to check on them (weed certain area, water certain area, pick up yard, etc.)
-To Become His Own Chores (after proper teaching and direction):
1. Unload entire dishwasher
2. Clean table after simple meals—teach to do this alone after breakfast and/or lunch
3. Fold and put away fold up loads of laundry
4. Make simple microwave meals—oatmeal packets, reheating leftovers; hot meat and cheese sandwiches
5. Other simple food preparation—peanut butter and jelly; meat and cheese plate; stemming grapes to be washed; boiled egg peeling; layered salads for meals, simple lettuce salads and fruit salads, dishes that involve mixing things together in which you have opened the cans, etc.,
6. Make beds throughout house (if sheets are already on them; not changing of the bedding)
7. Straighten a room at end of day (i.e. “jurisdiction” in easy room, such as toy room (in which he knows where everything goes) or a seldom used room that does not require much daily upkeep)
8. Dust room entirely alone (again, after having it as a “Help” job for a while)
9. Gather laundry from baskets in each person’s room and put in correct bin in laundry room (i.e. whites, darks, hang ups, etc.)
10. Mop small rooms with water only
11. Pick up yard
12. Clean bathroom or kitchen sink each day
13. Weed small areas of flower beds or around shrubs
14. Water flowers and/or garden
–Notes
a. By the end of age six, you want the child to have a consistent routine of morning routine (room, groom, dress, mess)—all chores related to his own personal care, like hygiene, straightening bedroom, making bed, putting laundry in hamper, etc.
b. You will probably want to add to that daily routine one to three chore sessions in which he does the exact same daily work each day (or at least each week), such as folding and putting away fold up load, unloading dishwasher, setting lunch table, sweeping porch, etc. Or vary it some but have the same tasks each Monday, each Tuesday, etc.:
First Morning Session Daily: unload dishes and set table
Second Session: M: fold up laundry
T: sweep porch
W: fold up laundry
Th: simple lunch
F: fold up laundry
c. Do not neglect training in future chores! It is so nice when you have a six year old that has several tasks that he can do regularly on his own following your diligent training. However, you want to always be teaching him new tasks for the next “changing of the chores.” (I changed my charts two to four times a year.)
d. Be sure to start giving this age child things that are truly essential to the operating of the family. He will feel much more needed and much more mature if he has real daily tasks that help the family operate more smoothly.
e. Because of the above items, you might want to have two chore sessions in which this aged child does regular jobs that are “his” followed by one session in which you work together—this can be the time that you work in the kitchen together or do laundry together or any other “training tasks.” Of course, these can vary day by day. I almost always had a chore session in which a child just “worked with Mom.”
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
**If you have been reading PP 365 long, you probably remember that we focused on giving our children entire chores/areas rather than just having them “help” forever….this builds self-esteem, responsibility, and skills; however, in the toddler years, “helping” is what he will primarily do. Anything you can “give” your pre-k/k child (i.e. setting the table all by himself for breakfast and/or lunch) will help him towards more and more responsibility.
by Donna | Apr 25, 2010
This post will encompass both weekend days since it will likely get lengthy! Next week, we will do age appropriate chores—one age group per day. Then we will be done with chores for a while! And go back to more preschool information via Jonathan’s Journal. I want to finish preschool in plenty of time in May to discuss summer activities, helping your students during the summer (whether your children go to school or school at home), and much more! (I always have big plans….just not always enough time to do them all!)
Are you ready for a complete, annotated list of sources about this topic? Okay…..bear with me:
1. Choreganizer cards—I talked about these in morning routine posts. (See https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-eighteen-develop-morning-routines.html and https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-nineteen-develop-morning-routines.html
Besides using these for morning routines, after school routines, or bedtime routines, they are also outstanding for chore charts (which is probably what they were intended for).
2. Accountable kids. This website offers a complete program for teaching children chores and responsibility, including immediate and delayed rewards and much more. I developed our own systems, but if I was just starting out all over again, I would definitely consider this program: https://www.accountablekids.com/
3. Book: “401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home” (McCullough and Monson). This was one of the first “teaching responsibility and chores” books that I had—twenty-six years ago! It contains many, many tips for teaching children to work at home and also gives dozens (or hundreds?) of organization/storage tips. Available at https://www.amazon.com/Ways-Your-Kids-Work-Home/dp/0312301472
4. Book: “Sidetracked Home Executives: From Pigpen to Paradise” (Pam Young and Peggy Jones). This was another early book I used to organize our home. It introduces a detailed index card system for household tasks, from daily jobs to seasonal and year ones; from laundry systems or spice organization. I found it especially helpful when I was having trouble prioritizing. I always worked diligently, but I got easily “sidetracked” by projects—had a lot of trouble with faithfulness to daily tasks. This book helped with that, too, with its priority card system, etc. It’s a pretty fun read also. Available at https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Sidetracked+Home+Executives
5. Book: “A Housekeeper Is Cheaper Than a Divorce: Why You Can Afford Household Help and How to Get It” (Kathy Fitzgerald Sherman). While the title of this book is obnoxious, its ideas for delegating and dividing work are not. While most of us cannot afford a housekeeper (and the author gives less credit to families working together than I believe is accurate, in many cases), this book puts housework and relationships in their proper order—and gives many good ideas for delegating and dividing work. Available at https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=A+Housekeeper+Is+Cheaper+Than+a+Divorce
6. Book/System: “Managers of Their Home” (Teri Maxwell). This book is not for the faint of heart. If you have a large family, homeschool, and are having trouble “getting it all done,” this book is for you. It includes a detailed system of organizing all of the work in a large family home. It is a system that takes a lot of time to implement—but the time saved once it is implemented is amazing and worthwhile. (If you are easily overwhelmed by elaborate systems, this approach and the “Sidetracked” one above are likely not for you.) Available at https://rainbowresource.com/product/Managers+of+Their+Homes/003890/1266103605-336372
7. Cleaning Products and Books: The Cleaning Center (Don Aslett). This site is where I get the majority of our cleaning products—as well as lots of help and tips. Don Aslett’s books are amazing—and I have even used a couple of them for read alouds for our children to help the learn to do things more efficiently and effectively around the house. This company’s cleaning products and tools are affordable and effective. Our favorites include Showers and Such (remarkable shower cleaner without the strong fumes or dangerous chemicals), Foaming Bowl Cleaner (like the showers one, it truly removes rust and water stains), and the Window and All Purpose cleaners (65 cents a bottle as a little packet that you add water to!). Available here https://www.cleanreport.com/
8. Book: “Clean in a Minute” (Don Aslett). This little book has taught my children and me how to clean quicker and more efficiently. I highly recommend it for learning how to clean fast and thoroughly. (Available at https://www.cleanreport.com/ )
9. Child sized tools. I always loved getting my littles their own sized broom or rake. The site that follows has pint-sized tools and utensils to get your little ones working alongside you: https://www.forsmallhands.com/store/index.php?main_page=collection&collection=CLN1
10. Book: “Make-a-Mix Cookery.” I will review this book later in the year, but this is where I started with my mega cooking. It is not specifically mega cooking, but it has many “mixes” (i.e. Italian meat, hamburger mixes, white sauce balls, homemade “Bisquick,” and much more) that I have used over and over through the years. I am on my third copy (due to excessive use!), and I highly recommend this for home cooks who are serious about cooking from scratch. Available here https://www.amazon.com/Make-Mix-Cookery-Make-Mixes/dp/0895860074
11. Mega cooking site: Thirty Day Gourmet. This is the site I use for mega cooking help nowadays. Their basic freezer cooking manual looks wonderful (“Thirty Day Gourmet’s Big Book of Freezer Cooking”), but I use the software (item #12). This site will help you immensely if you desire to do freezer cooking of any kind: https://www.30daygourmet.com/
12. Software: Thirty Day Gourmet Edition of Advantage Cook Software. This is the software that I use now for all of my recipes. It is a long process getting them all switched over from WORD (and some from EXCEL) to this, but it is so worth it since this software lets you adjust the servings at the push of a button. After many years of adjusting recipe amounts on napkins, in my head, and on scrap paper, I so appreciate that aspect of it. In addition to being able to plug your own recipes into it, this software comes fully loaded with the Thirty Day Gourmet’s Freezer Cooking recipes (again, fully adjustable). I love this program. Available at https://www.30daygourmet.com/Products/Freezer-Cooking-Advantage-Software.aspx
That should get you surfing—and give you some resources to help you in your family’s chore schedules and household management. Thanks for joining us. It is a pleasure sharing life with you.
by Donna | Apr 18, 2010
“Before I knew it, it was time to set the table for lunch. Josiah and I raced to see who could get done with our jobs first. I slowed down at the end so Josiah could catch up—then I let him win! Mommy took me into her room alone and gave me a million hugs. She said she was so happy that I was learning to see how others feel—and that I make Josiah feel important. I think she’ll probably tell Daddy, and he’ll say, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!” I love it when he says that—he always has a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes when he does.”*
Whenever I talk about children and chores, people always want to know exactly how our chore day runs. You are in luck! I am in the middle of revising our chore schedule for the spring. (I usually alter our schedule, chore charts, etc. two to four times a year. I love planning!)
Tomorrow I will begin posting our current chore schedule. Before that, however, I want to share two rules of thumb that we have adhered to in our home concerning distributing jobs. We learned both of these things about twenty years ago at a Gregg Harris workshop—and they have helped us in the management of our home so much.
1. Give the job to the youngest person who can handle it.
When we first heard Mr. Harris say this, we had four kids seven and under—and we looked at each other and practically laughed out loud. We had more work than any two people could manage—Ray working seventy hours a week as the controller of an automotive plant; me homeschooling and doing private tutoring while caring for that many little kids (and five acres, a swimming pool, and a half acre (it seemed!) garden). However, we went home and took his advice to heart right away. If there was a task or chore that Joshua (age seven) or Kayla (age four) could handle, we assigned it to them. And you know what? We found that when we examined our life more closely, there were many things that Joshua could do—and Kayla was smart and able and followed suit in learning many jobs as well.
Throughout the years, this little bit of wisdom has meant a lot to us in managing our home and getting a lot accomplished. It meant that the youngest one who could do it did the laundry each day (for the girls, this was age six or seven; for the boys, age nine or so). It meant that the youngest one who could do it did the dishes (not just the silverware or cups!). It meant that the youngest one who could be on lunch duty successfully got lunch duty. It also meant that as each child matured, he or she learned more and more skills—and freed Mom up to teach the other kids more, train hearts, cook from scratch (thus, reducing our grocery budget), garden and can (again reducing our grocery budget), etc.
With this approach, even when the kids were fairly young, our chore sessions were extremely productive. And you know what? The kids were proud of their work! They loved not having token jobs. They loved telling relatives how much they could do. Every new recipe that a child learned to prepare, every new household task one became efficient in was cause for bragging to these kids! We were a family of chorers—working together to make things happen at home. (And we continue to be a family of chorers—working together to make things happen at home—and around the world now! smile…)
2. Think, “What can I do right now that nobody but I can do?”
This kind of goes hand in hand with Mr. Harris’ first tip—and expands on it. He recommended that in delegating work to family members, we consider that Mom should think of her work as the things that “nobody but I can do.” We thought about this and realized there was a lot of truth in it. There are so many tasks and jobs in the home that nobody but Mom can do (especially if you are a homeschooler).
Nobody but Mom could nurse the babies. Nobody but Mom (oftentimes) can do correspondences; do library business; plan menus; prepare recipes; do initial organization of bookcases, file cabinets, etc.; cook for company for many years; organize freezers the way she wants them; deep clean; etc. Add to that for homeschoolers—plan and purchase curriculum; plan the daily schedule; create lesson plans/kids’ school schedules; monitor said schedules; and much, much more.
Mr. Harris encouraged us (and Ray took this quite literally, which helped us immensely) to have Mom doing the things that only she could do and let Dad and the kids do the other things whenever possible. (Obviously, there are many things that only Dad can do, too, and we had to consider that as well.) For us, this meant that when we had family work session, Mom would do the things that only she could do (i.e. not frying hamburger, which anybody ten and over could do), Dad would oversee and work with the kids on their jobs, and the littles would do easier tasks.
This eventually carried over to the older kids. Once they could do harder jobs (for the girls this was editing and writing for our publishing company; now for the two older boys it is printing and binding curriculum and taking telephone orders), they did those—and younger ones took the easier jobs.
This approach helped Mom get more things accomplished, but it also put a sense of pride and accomplishment within our kids. Kara was rarely asked to unload the dishes or sweep the floor during her high school years. She could fix entire meals or do grocery shopping—why would she unload dishes? Jonathan, at seventeen, doesn’t fold and put away towels. He runs lawn equipment, takes the boys to things, and binds books.
This concept is not a demeaning one—but rather an empowering one. “I have skills. I have needed skills that make my family successful! I can do many things that others have not been trained in. I am grateful to be a part of this family and to have learned the things that I have learned.” Truly, these two approaches to household management (and now to management of our publishing company) have helped us achieve many of our family goals and given our children life-long skills and confidence.
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
by Donna | Apr 16, 2010
“Before I knew it, it was time to set the table for lunch. Josiah and I raced to see who could get done with our jobs first. I slowed down at the end so Josiah could catch up—then I let him win! Mommy took me into her room alone and gave me a million hugs. She said she was so happy that I was learning to see how others feel—and that I make Josiah feel important. I think she’ll probably tell Daddy, and he’ll say, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!” I love it when he says that—he always has a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes when he does.”*
1. Develop a chore division that works for your family’s schedule and dynamics.
If your children go to school and have after school activities, you might want to have each child do one morning task and one task before bedtime—then have family “weekly cleaning” time on Saturday mornings for an hour for weekly work and another time in which bedrooms will be inspected each week.
If you homeschool your children, you might desire (like I do) to have the most important daily work done each morning before school starts. If you work only part time and your children go to school and after school activities, you will likely do more of the work than you pass out—simply because you might be available more than, say children who go to school eight hours a day and after school activities another two to four and a husband who works ten to twelve hours a day. Do whatever works for you and your family.
2. Train children well in chores.
When our older children were little, I used summer as training times for our children in chores and housework. I made laundry charts and worked for two or three weeks on laundry alone. We did bathroom cleaning training all together—teaching the difference between daily bathroom cleaning and weekly bathroom cleaning. Once our children are trained to do jobs, they can handle much more than we think they can. (Chore resources (including training ones) will be given in a post at the end of this chore series.)
3. Children do better with chores when something is “theirs.”
Our children know when they are truly needed—and when they are just doing “token” jobs. We trained a child in a certain job well—and then gave that area to the child. These included laundry for the whole family, all dishes except evening, all trash, refrigerator and cupboard care, daily bathrooms, etc. Rather than just assigning “unload dishwasher,” when a child was ready to take on dishes, he washed, dried, loaded, and unloaded all dishes twice a day. (We all work together on dinner clean up in the evenings.) Rather than just saying “fold towels” for a ten year old, he took on all of the laundry twice a day (during the first chore session and the second chore session of each week day). Our children knew they were important members of our family—and that when we all work together, we can accomplish great things for our family, for the Lord, and for others.
4. Decide who will do what and how it will be divided up.**
We made a daily list—all chores and tasks in our home that needed done every day (three meals a day, two loads of laundry, two loads of dishes (in the dishwasher), trash all throughout the house, daily bathroom cleaning, etc.). These became the basis for our daily work. Then I spread these tasks out throughout our chore schedule. (Tomorrow’s post will be about developing your family’s chore schedule.)
Then I made a weekly list. We have done this differently throughout the years—assigned weekly jobs to the older kids who were not home every day to help with daily work (i.e. those in college or working—and they could do them whenever they had a chance); or spread them throughout the chore schedule—once the daily jobs were done; grouped them all together and did them during weekly family cleaning night; etc.
Monthly jobs were in theory supposed to be done monthly, but well…I’m not super woman, okay??
5. Have a check off or chart system and follow up on their work.
At first (and even later if we slack off), children will do the same things we adults sometimes do—try to get out of things, take the easy way out, etc. It is only through follow-up that we can train them in the character that is required to become diligent workers. (See the post on morning routines and morning routine charts for chart and lists for children–https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-nineteen-develop-morning-routines.html )
6. Work hard yourself!
Our children never minded lengthy chore lists (they grew up with them–daily work is a huge part of large family living) simply because Mom and Dad work hard too. We might not be cleaning the bathroom or vaccuuming, but we certainly aren’t watching the game on tv and playing on the computer! We have always taught our children the value of hard work–and modeled it for them as well. Everybody works hard–and then we all get to play hard!
Tomorrow—creating a chore schedule—when to do what. Thanks for joining us.
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
