“Before I knew it, it was time to set the table for lunch. Josiah and I raced to see who could get done with our jobs first. I slowed down at the end so Josiah could catch up—then I let him win! Mommy took me into her room alone and gave me a million hugs. She said she was so happy that I was learning to see how others feel—and that I make Josiah feel important. I think she’ll probably tell Daddy, and he’ll say, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!” I love it when he says that—he always has a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes when he does.”*
1. Develop a chore division that works for your family’s schedule and dynamics.
If your children go to school and have after school activities, you might want to have each child do one morning task and one task before bedtime—then have family “weekly cleaning” time on Saturday mornings for an hour for weekly work and another time in which bedrooms will be inspected each week.
If you homeschool your children, you might desire (like I do) to have the most important daily work done each morning before school starts. If you work only part time and your children go to school and after school activities, you will likely do more of the work than you pass out—simply because you might be available more than, say children who go to school eight hours a day and after school activities another two to four and a husband who works ten to twelve hours a day. Do whatever works for you and your family.
2. Train children well in chores.
When our older children were little, I used summer as training times for our children in chores and housework. I made laundry charts and worked for two or three weeks on laundry alone. We did bathroom cleaning training all together—teaching the difference between daily bathroom cleaning and weekly bathroom cleaning. Once our children are trained to do jobs, they can handle much more than we think they can. (Chore resources (including training ones) will be given in a post at the end of this chore series.)
3. Children do better with chores when something is “theirs.”
Our children know when they are truly needed—and when they are just doing “token” jobs. We trained a child in a certain job well—and then gave that area to the child. These included laundry for the whole family, all dishes except evening, all trash, refrigerator and cupboard care, daily bathrooms, etc. Rather than just assigning “unload dishwasher,” when a child was ready to take on dishes, he washed, dried, loaded, and unloaded all dishes twice a day. (We all work together on dinner clean up in the evenings.) Rather than just saying “fold towels” for a ten year old, he took on all of the laundry twice a day (during the first chore session and the second chore session of each week day). Our children knew they were important members of our family—and that when we all work together, we can accomplish great things for our family, for the Lord, and for others.
4. Decide who will do what and how it will be divided up.**
We made a daily list—all chores and tasks in our home that needed done every day (three meals a day, two loads of laundry, two loads of dishes (in the dishwasher), trash all throughout the house, daily bathroom cleaning, etc.). These became the basis for our daily work. Then I spread these tasks out throughout our chore schedule. (Tomorrow’s post will be about developing your family’s chore schedule.)
Then I made a weekly list. We have done this differently throughout the years—assigned weekly jobs to the older kids who were not home every day to help with daily work (i.e. those in college or working—and they could do them whenever they had a chance); or spread them throughout the chore schedule—once the daily jobs were done; grouped them all together and did them during weekly family cleaning night; etc.
Monthly jobs were in theory supposed to be done monthly, but well…I’m not super woman, okay??
5. Have a check off or chart system and follow up on their work.
At first (and even later if we slack off), children will do the same things we adults sometimes do—try to get out of things, take the easy way out, etc. It is only through follow-up that we can train them in the character that is required to become diligent workers. (See the post on morning routines and morning routine charts for chart and lists for children–https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-nineteen-develop-morning-routines.html )
6. Work hard yourself!
Our children never minded lengthy chore lists (they grew up with them–daily work is a huge part of large family living) simply because Mom and Dad work hard too. We might not be cleaning the bathroom or vaccuuming, but we certainly aren’t watching the game on tv and playing on the computer! We have always taught our children the value of hard work–and modeled it for them as well. Everybody works hard–and then we all get to play hard!
Tomorrow—creating a chore schedule—when to do what. Thanks for joining us.
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
