by | May 11, 2010

“Right after lunch Josiah, Kara, and I picked out our stories for story time. We snuggled on the couch with Mommy and read them. I was so happy ‘coz it was my day, and I got to pick two stories today. I picked Curious George and a book about astronauts. Story time is my favorite time of the day.”
                                   “Jonathan’s Journal”




As my children were growing up, we had several read-aloud periods—often in one day. And we had various names for all of them through the years: morning read aloud, content reading, subject reading, history reading, devotional reading, character reading, breakfast reading, family read aloud, lunchtime reading, unit studies reading, story time, matching sweat suit day reading (corny, but we loved it!), read all day reading, story time, bedtime stories, and yes, even more.

Now we have just a few reading times. I will list these below and will detail them in the coming week, including some suggested titles for them and book reviews!


1. Morning reading—for us, this is like our “school devotional extended.” We have this morning reading time after morning routines and morning chores—three or four days a week (“more often than not”).


2. History read aloud—two or three days a week, I do history reading with the kids. I have never been one to get my pre-high school kids a bunch of science, social studies, health, etc. text books. I have always used our read-aloud times and assigned reading of real books as their primary sources for these subjects. We have been doing American history for the past couple of years, slowly making our way through various read aloud sources, audio books, assigned readers, and more.


3. Family read aloud books—We enjoy listening together as a family to radio dramas (especially Adventures in Odyssey!), audio books, Christian discipleship type books, biographies, and occasionally, fiction books. For example, we have recently read Mercy Ships (about the ministry of the medical/surgical ships that go around the world) and Being a Christian in a Brave New World by Joni Ereckson Tada. Unfortunately, the older the boys get, the harder it is to get us all together long enough to read lengthy books; however, audio books are something we can do while we do other things, so we try to utilize those whenever possible.


4. Story time—Jakie and I are the only ones who regularly enjoy story time nowadays (sniff, sniff). However, sometimes we can talk Josiah into joining us, and occasionally, if we are reading a chapter book, Jonathan will listen from the dining room as he does school or works on a project. Story time is one thing that I for sure do not regret spending the hours upon hours in over the past twenty-seven years of parenting. When I had several small children, we would get the babies to sleep then cuddle in Mommy’s bed and read for one to two hours, then drift off for afternoon naps (including Mom!). My first reaction to that is “How did I ever find time for that nearly every weekday afternoon?” And my answer is that I found the time because it was a priority to me. We find the time for everything that is truly important to us. (And I found the time for the nap because it was essential during the fourteen out of seventeen years that I was nursing and/or pregnant!) I stayed home most days and just invested in my kids and home—and I don’t regret it at all!




The next few days will include story time tips, suggested story time books, starting chapter books aloud, and more!

*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html

day 129: today is “my day”!

by | May 10, 2010

“Right after lunch Josiah, Kara, and I picked out our stories for story time. We snuggled on the couch with Mommy and read them. I was so happy ‘coz it was my day, and I got to pick two stories today. I picked Curious George and a book about astronauts. Story time is my favorite time of the day.”
                                       “Jonathan’s Journal”


In the story time excerpt from “Jonathan’s Journal,” it was Jonathan’s “day,” so he got to pick two stories instead of one. When I had several young children, I assigned each child “a day” each week. I first got this idea when I was in teacher’s college, and it was suggested that we teachers pick a different student each day to focus on. It was recommended that we write that child’s name on the calendar for that day (to keep record of who got which day and to ensure that each child got a day) and that we try to praise, help, make more contact with, etc. that particular student on that day. This approach would keep the “non-sqeaky wheels” from getting overlooked.

I applied that to my family, assigning each child a day (Monday was Cami’s day; Tuesday was Kayla’s; Wednesday was Joshua’s; etc.). On that day, that particular child got many advantages and privileges, as well as some extra jobs. Here are some of the perks that I instituted for the child on his day throughout the years:

1. Special focus—I tried to praise, affirm, spend more time with, tie heart strings more, etc. for that child on that day


2. Sitting in the front seat if we went anywhere (Because we only went places one or two days a week during the day during the week when my older children were little, we had to alternate whose day it was each week because otherwise, for example, the Monday or Tuesday child would seldom get to sit in the front seat since we seldom went anywhere early in the week.)


3. Sitting closest to Mom during morning read aloud and afternoon story time


4. Saying the prayer during breakfast and lunch


5. Getting to choose two stories instead of one at story time (and getting their stories read first and last)


6. Getting to have a longer talk time with Dad that night before bed


7. Helping Mom cook dinner that day (before they could cook meals entirely by themselves)


8. Doing an extra job from the job jar


9. Taking a morning or afternoon “twalk” (talk and walk) with Mom




My kids loved having their special day. It meant more responsibility and work, but it also meant more heart-affecting time—and they were keenly aware of that.

*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html

day 127 & 128: ramblings of motherhood–emotions

by | May 8, 2010




Ramblings of motherhood—The main thoughts that I have had about motherhood lately are those of the emotions involved in being a mom. Shoo-eee…they can be overwhelming at times. So, I give you my ramblings of motherhood’s emotions this weekend.


Sorry about the caps and the length! I can’t figure out how to bold font on the Facebook notes section, so I capped the emotions I wanted to emphasize. I didn’t want to divide it in two, so I am posting it in its entirety for the two day weekend.


Also, I was going to go through and fix the emotions to make them parallel—all adjectives or all nouns, etc., but then the piece wouldn’t be ramblings, would it??


Happy Mother’s Day with love and best wishes for your Christian parenting!




                          Emotions of Motherhood

The day I found out I was pregnant for Joshua—JOY UNSPEAKABLE!


Coming out of the bathroom at the hospital and seeing eleven-month-old, croup-filled Joshua crawling down the hall as fast as he could after climbing out of his hospital bed. SURPRISED but DELIGHTED.


Graduating from college and becoming a stay-at-home mom with my little first born just before he turned two. RELIEF, DETERMINATION, and CONVICTION.


PAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENT. C-section after thirty-six hours of labor in an attempt to have a normal delivery after my previous c-section.


Discovering that I had developed Rh and kel antibodies at Kayla’s birth that could harm future Rh positive babies. I was so young (only twenty-three) and incredibly OVERWHELMED and SCARED.


SURPRISE and JOY when the doctor announced, “It’s a girl” at Kayla’s birth. Ray only had boy cousins and brothers, so we thought it would be a while before we got a little girl.


Nursing problems with Kayla (and Joshua earlier) that were so OVERWHELMING and EMOTIONAL-LADEN that I thought my heart would break in two as I tried to make it all work out and was met with daily DISAPPOINTMENT.


Reading to Joshua for literally six hours some days when he was four or five…and having him ask for more. AMAZEMENT as I realized the POWER and INFLUENCE I had on my children.

Kayla’s darling-ness—and orneriness—and my DOUBTS that this Christian parenting thing would really work after days filled with correction and discipline and a little girl who was determined to “do it her way.”


Cami’s birth—and the OVERWHELMING feelings that Ray and I both experienced—three kids and only two parents. How could we ever do this?


Being in the hospital over Christmas, holding my baby, and thinking that Cami was the absolute best Christmas present that anybody in the world got that year. JOY, PEACE, and EXCITEMENT.


When Joshua graduated to chapter books during read alouds and story time–and watching him stare into space as I read, knowing that he was “making the pictures in his mind now.” AWE.


HUMORED, watching Joshua, Kayla, and Cami play together—and seeing how Joshua had the girls wrapped around his little finger early on. “Dossie” could do no wrong to them.


Teaching Joshua, Kayla, and Cami how to work, garden, cook, bake, clean the toy room, do laundry, vacuum, and much more when they were so young. HAPPY and GRATEFUL for their joy and cooperation yet STRESSED, wondering over and over if I am doing a good job of this overwhelming role of mother.


Getting up on Saturdays and seeing Joshua get out his school tub and dig in, totally oblivious to the fact that other kids did not “do school” on weekends. JOYFUL and a little SNEAKY (didn’t tell him for the longest time that Saturdays were not school days!).


SATISFACTION and HUMOR, watching Joshua, age eight, learn how to mow with the riding mower and hearing it “putt putt” and stall as he slipped forward—only when he sat all the way back did he weigh the seat down enough to keep the mower running.


Kara’s first three months as “colic Kara” in which she seldom quit crying or screaming and the DESPERATENESS I felt day in and day out with four little kids, one of whom could never be put down and barely put off the breast without intolerable wailing.


Finally getting all of my nursing problems worked out with Cami but then developing mastitis with Kara that resulted in delirious fever and a dark-purple colored breast. SICK, SICK, SICK!


The day I laid 3 ½ month old Kara down on a blanket on the floor to run to the bathroom and discovered that she didn’t scream. She didn’t even cry…just looked around the room. And in an instant, I knew her colic days were over. AMAZEMENT, RELIEF, and HAPPINESS.


When Joshua learned to read, at age eight. Even as a teacher, nearly finished with a master’s degree in reading specialist, I will never forget the RELIEF when he finally “got it.”


Our OVERWHELMING move away from our hometown and the JOY of just being our little family of six, not knowing anyone or having any outside demands.


Then LONELINESS and DEPRESSION as I parented four little kids alone fourteen hours a day while Ray worked—and we lived one to two hours away from family and knew very few people in our new community.


Discovering (via cordoscentisis) with great relief that Jonathan was Rh negative. THANKFULNESS.


Joshua’s joy when he discovered that, after waiting for nearly ten years, he had a little brother. BLISS.


HAPPINESS and PEACE as we all enjoyed Jonathan and what an amazing little guy he was…so sensitive, sweet, and happy. He was the girls’ living doll—and they all three became baby crazy (like their mama!).


Watching Joshua build with legoes and draw/color maps by the hour—so GLAD God led us to this way of life.


HAPPY, seeing Kayla devour books, checking out dozens of books from the little Berne library every week, only to have to make special trips mid-week to stock up for more.


Cami’s love notes—on every school paper, journal, notebook, and scrap of paper…”I love Mom,” “I love Dad,” “I love my brothers and sisters,” “I love Jesus,” “My family is the greatest,” “I love homeschooling.” OVERWHELMING GRATEFULNESS and CONTENTMENT.


My scary pregnancy with Josiah. Dozens of ultra sounds, amnioscentesis, and fretful moments. FEAR and DESPERATION.


Josiah’s birth and Rh disease. SCARY moments at the hospital. Ray wheeling me over to the hospital every three hours to pump and hold Josiah. His transfusion. My FEAR that we would never have another baby (since once one positive baby is that sick from Rh, you seldom have a healthy one again).


CONTENTMENT and feelings of SATISFACTION during morning read-alouds with Jonathan playing on his blanket and Josiah being bounced by one of the kids as he sat cooing in his “bouncy seat.”


Making Christmas ornaments and huge messes, but thinking that it was worth it all to see such happy children. BLESSED.


SURE during field trips in which my two sponges, Joshua and Kayla, would soak up every tidbit of information shared. And Cami would inevitably make a friend.


Wonderful Wednesdays, one afternoon a week spent with a different child. PURPOSEFUL and CERTAIN that this life I was living was what I was supposed to be doing.


Watching Kayla, Cami, and Kara play with their American Girl Dolls for literally hours, as Kayla sought to make each aspect of their play as historically-accurate as she could. HAPPINESS and FUN.


Finding out, this time through amnioscentisis, that Jacob was a boy (first time we found out the sex in utero) and that he was rh negative and perfectly healthy. AMAZING RELIEF.


Discovering within a week of Jacob’s birth that he was not going to make anything easy during his first few years. OVERWHELMED, QUESTIONING our parenting more than ever.

JOY, watching the girls play house with the little boys, loving them, cuddling them, teaching them, and spoiling them.

Watching, via ultra-sound over a two hour period, our eighth and final baby, Carly Grace, die in utero at twenty-two weeks gestation during an intrauterine blood transfusion that was performed to try to save her from the Rh and kel antibodies that were attacking her. And feeling like I, too, would die of a BROKEN HEART.


Realizing that I was getting sicker and sicker as I labored following Carly’s death—only to discover that my uterus had ruptured and I was literally bleeding to death internally. The HEART-RENDING moments with Ray before I was wheeled into surgery and RELIEF that should I not make it, I did not have huge regrets for how I spent my life.


Watching each of the kids hold their dead baby sister and trying to comfort them when I had no emotional resources to do so. EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, and SPIRITUALLY BARREN.


DESPERATE, thinking that I was not up to parenting a strong-willed child as Jacob entered age two and being so GRATEFUL that Ray picked up the slack as he announced, “We will not let him become a brat.”

GRIEF-STRICKEN for months over the loss of Carly and the loss of my uterus, thinking all the while that I have to get up and parent these kids but not having the ability to do so.


Ray leaving his demanding job as a plant manager to take a lesser job in order to raise our teens the way we felt God wanted us to…the feelings of ANTICIPATION and JOY that Ray would be able to be more involved in their lives but the PANICKED moments in which I wondered why in the world we ever gave up that nice paycheck, big house, and new vehicle.


Teenage doubts and my feelings of INFERIORITY—what was I thinking actually believing that I could raise children in this unique way known as Christian parenting?


HAPPINESS yet LONGING with my first high school graduate—Joshua, under a hundred pounds yet a young man so accomplished, smart, wise, responsible, and kind. I cried a river that graduation.


When Joshua told us he was in love. My dream had come true—my first child was in love with a godly young lady. I was beside myself with joy—and IN LOVE WITH BEING IN LOVE.


AMAZEMENT and GRATEFULNESS that Joshua had learned how to learn when he graduated from college after testing out of all but two classes of which there were no tests available.


When Kayla and Cami went to ministry school. Could a mother’s JOY be more FULL than to know that her kids wanted to spend their lives bringing others to Christ?

CONTENTMENT yet HEART-RENDING watching another child leave home for marriage. THANKFULNESS that Cami had found a young man with a heart so similar to her daddy’s.


JOY but serious LONGING as Kara (my last little girl) graduated from high school. CONFUSION as to whether it was the right decision to allow her to go away so early (for college/internship out of state).


LONELINESS for Kara—especially whenever I knew she was feeling homesick—as she was five states away going to college and teaching drama seminars to homeschool groups and Christian schools. THANKFUL for all of the opportunities God provided for our kids to learn the many skills they have learned.


PRIDE as Kayla graduated with honors from college with a double major—and took her first full time mission position.


HELPLESSNESS when I watch my adult children go through difficulties with relationships, health, underemployment, and other “adult norms” that I just want to rescue them from, but cannot.

HAPPINESS as I spend my days with three teen and tween boys, so GRATEFUL for the older kids’ continued, godly influence on the lives of their younger siblings.


SATISFACTION in relationships with my grown kids—so GLAD to be a huge part of their lives today.


FEAR for my kids’ futures…spouses, jobs, careers, health, when they have children of their own, finances….sometimes FUTILITY in trying to give everything about my children to the Lord every day.


CONTENTMENT and RELIEF when I realize that I have made it to this point—with four graduates and three kids remaining at home. So GRATEFUL that I didn’t give up on Christian parenting and all of the hard work that has gone with it so far!











day one hundred two: inspirations from a godly mom’s well-spent life

by | Apr 13, 2010

Today was a glorious, yet incredibly sad, day for many homeschooling families in the Fort Wayne, Indiana area. A lovely fellow homeschooling family lost its mother. Cheryl Too, age forty-five and mother of four children ranging in age from ten to seventeen, died a few days ago suddenly from a brain aneurysm. I say it was a glorious day because all of us at her funeral knew beyond a shadow of a doubt where Cheryl is spending eternity. It was a sad day for obvious reasons: four sweet children and a wonderful husband are without their mother and wife.


Cheryl’s godly, productive life and her sudden death have caused many people, me included, to think about our own lives—and to desire to do this job of Christian parenting (and marriage) better. And when I think, I have to write. So, here are my inspirations from this amazing mom’s life and death. May you glean from her as I have.


Use our time wisely. My first thought is one that most people think of when they consider someone their own age passing away: we need to number our days. Psalm 90: 12 tells us, “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” In parenting terms, however, I am more motivated than ever to “number my days.” To make the most of the time I have remaining with our sons at home—and any opportunities that we get to influence, teach, love, and invest in our four grown children. Cheryl was such a good example of using her time wisely with her children. One of the recurring themes from everyone concerning her these past few days has been that “her children were prepared for anything.” They are well-educated (via their parents’ diligent homeschooling), eloquent, servant-minded, loving, character-filled, content, well-adjusted kids. That didn’t just happen. The time Cheryl used wisely to invest in her children was a huge part of their “readiness for anything.”


Have a meek and quiet spirit. I have never been accused of being quiet. I sometimes consider myself meek only when defining the word as “strength under control.” However, Cheryl was the epitome of a meek and quiet spirit—and not because she didn’t say anything or didn’t think her own thoughts. She fulfilled I Peter 3: 4 (“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price”) as she served, loved, taught, reached out, and helped without great fanfare or expectation of acclaim. Her four children are the types of kids that everybody wants—loving to each other, kind, helpful, intelligent, diligent, servant-minded, talented, AND absolutely beautiful! And yet, she never made others feel jealous or inferior as some moms with those types of children might do. This, too, was her meekness coming through in all of her interactions.


Prioritize serving others—and teach our children to serve. On the evening of Cheryl’s death, Cami and Joseph (my daughter and son-in-law) had their hands full with one hundred cognitively disabled adults who didn’t understand why Cheryl was gone. “She’s my friend. She can’t die.” “She loved us. She has to be here.” A little more than a year ago, Cheryl and her family started serving at the One Heart Disability Ministry that Cami and Joseph lead. Specifically, Cheryl led the singing on Thursday evenings during a worship service that is designed just for adults and young adults with disabilities. This fall Cheryl was planning to lead one of the newly-formed clubs, specifically a choir, for these special people. As pastors and family members spoke of Cheryl at the funeral today, the theme was the same: she always reached out and ministered to others. And she taught her children to do the same. Serving at One Heart was a priority for Cheryl and her kids, as were other ministries and opportunities that she participated in throughout her life.


Serve at home first. We have always believed that there are hundreds of principles that can be seen throughout Scriptures. One that we have taught our children over and over, and that is obvious in Cheryl and Heng’s life, is that of serving closest to home first—then branching out. I think that’s why Jesus said, “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” Acts 1:8 (NKJV). That denotes an order–first closest to you, then farther from home, then all over the world–once you have shown yourself faithful to those closest. This was obvious in Cheryl’s life in the way she ministered in her home tirelessly before branching out to what we sometimes consider “great” things. And then, when she did branch out, it was to her own community—and to the lowly, whom many people do not want to serve. Of course, she had served in her church for years and years through singing, teaching, and gifts of helps. Also, pertinent to this discussion of serving those closest to us first, it was amazing to hear her three siblings’ testimonies of how Cheryl had been instrumental in each of them coming to Christ as adults. That is definitely “receiving power to be witnesses” at home first!


Do things well. We have had the privilege of having the Too children in Training for Triumph’s cottage classes in the past few years. In teaching their children speech, debate, writing, and sign language, it is obvious to us that Cheryl did what she did very well. Specifically this year, I have loved editing her son Jeremy’s papers in writing class. As he completes the Checklist Challenge (the revising and editing system in our books), I can tell where Cheryl’s teaching touch was present—helping him find the perfect verb, replacing redundancy with synonyms, writing strong thesis statements. She would let him think of what he wanted to say here or there and pen it into his rough draft for him, cuing him and modeling for him. Not long ago he even brought a paper that his mom had printed off the internet for him—one hundred ways to replace the word “says” in your writing! She and the kids sang in February at One Heart’s Valentine’s banquet this year—and they definitely did it well. I know for me personally I continue to get bogged down trying to do too many things—and feeling that I am not doing any of them well. Cheryl’s life makes me want to do what I do very well.


Juggle expertly. Cheryl was a mom like the rest of us, doing the stuff day in and day out; making decisions as to what could fit in their schedule and what had to be dropped; budgeting for a family of six on her husband’s full time salary and her part time (third shift!) job; trying to meet the needs of four children and a husband while serving the Lord and others; attempting to manage a household, homeschool, and more. And she did it with such grace and skill. “Juggling” is one of the hardest jobs for the Christian mom—and one that I, like Cheryl did, want to do more expertly—and with fewer balls dropped.


Teach our children God’s Word and God’s ways. My sons were greatly affected by Cheryl’s passing after having worked with her at One Heart, as well as through being friends with her kids. It has been hard to think about the Too children being without their incredible mother. However, it is also amazing to think about how thoroughly and diligently Heng and Cheryl taught their children God’s Word and God’s ways. At home, through church activities such as Awana’s (in which their parents helped serve), and, yes, “when they walked by the way,” the Too children were instructed in righteousness. Can I look for more opportunities to teach my boys God’s Word? Can we read more, study more, listen more, and talk more? I think we can; and I want to.


A godly mother’s life well-lived. I know that I will not be the same as a result of getting to know Cheryl and seeing her life end so quickly and suddenly. Let’s provoke one another to good works as this mother did—even moreso as we see the day approaching.

day ninety-three: using “teachable moments” the old testament parenting-way

by | Apr 3, 2010

“Mommy read out loud from a chapter book while we ate. I’m starting to kind of like chapter books, even though they don’t have any pictures; I can make the pictures in my head now.”*




I love the instruction we received twenty years ago about teaching your children everything all the time! It is based on a passage in Deuteronomy about when you should talk to your children about God (what he’s done for you; about his love, justice, mercy, etc; everything about him!):


“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes” Deuteronomy 6:5-8 (NKJV)

It essentially lists four key times, times that might be considered “useless” for instruction, but yet are actually very “teachable moments”:


1. When you rise up—in the mornings before the busy-ness of the day begins


2. When you sit down—anytime you are just sitting around with your kids (while you’re waiting, driving, etc.)


3. When you walk by the way—again while just walking through life (at the grocery, taking a walk, going to your next event or appointment, etc.)


4. When you lie down—bedtime!


In the “Jonathan’s Journal” passage for today, Jonathan enjoyed listening to a chapter book being read aloud while he ate breakfast—the first two opportune times in our Deuteronomy verse—when you rise up and when you sit down.


These Old Testament verses are obviously not law or commandments. But like many other passages throughout the Bible—they are good, common sense ideas that yield tremendous fruit. (Doing things the Bible says has that effect!) Incorporate teaching times—via talking, reading aloud, listening to audios together, etc. into times that are already part of your life.


We are all our children’s first—and most important—teachers, whether our children are homeschooled, private schooled, or public schooled. We have the four opportunities listed in Deuteronomy to use as teaching times—times to tell our kids about the importance of good character, to talk about God and His ways, to reiterate the sacrifice Christ made for us so that we could live forever in heaven, to emphasize the importance of people and relationships, to instruct in how to get along with others, and so much more.


The next time you are “with your children in the way,” or you “rise up in the morning,” or you “sit down with them for a meal,” or you “lay them down for sleep,” consider the “teachable moments that are before you—and teach your children the Old Testament, common-sense, heart-reaching way.


*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html

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