by Donna | Jan 13, 2011
We have read aloud to our kids for years and years. When our older childen were little, they would get read to by me or Ray (through Bible, unit studies, devotions, and story time) three to five hours every day. Now neither of us has time to read aloud that much with the kids (and I admit I use talking books to substitute for me quite often!), but we still enjoy reading to and with the kids every day.
You have heard it all before–if you want to raise readers, you have to read to them. Children who are read to daily are x times more likely to become readers themselves, etc. etc. Guilt trip aside, we have found that reading has built a strong educational foundation–and tied heart strings at the same time. We have so many memories of “Jack, Max, and Axle at the Acme Painting Company” and “Morris learning to count,” as well as inspiring devotional materials and awesome creation science books. And, yes, we have raised several readers. Even the ones who do not read lengthy pieces of literature love to read the Bible and inspirational materials. And we all still love gathering with a stack of Christmas books in December for long evenings of reading aloud.
Again, think baby steps. Just read from a Christian adventure chapter book every night towards the end of dinner. Or read two stories to the littles before naptime. Or stick a book of short stories in the van and read aloud while Dad drives. You don’t have to read three to five hours a day. And you don’t have to read certain books. Just enjoy reading and learning together.
by Donna | Jan 12, 2011
“Our daily input into our three young adult daughters’ lives is like a continual healing balm to them.”
We can get so caught up in work, teaching, outside demands, and physical needs (feeding and clothing) that we overlook one of the most important things that we should do each day–tie heart strings with our children. Most parents have their children’s attention for eighteen years. Those are years that we can invest in them spiritually and build relationships with them.
It is so easy to get to the end of the day and discover that we have not squeezed our special squeeze, winked our special wink, or hugged our special hug. This is especially true as our children get older and no longer cuddle in our chair with us or have “rockies.”
In addition to the physical closeness that our children need, they also need our verbal affirmation and communication. My and Ray’s daily input into our three young adult daughters’ lives (ages seventeen, twenty, and twenty-one at the time of this original article) is like a continual healing balm to them. Two of them are heavily involved in demanding ministries–to the disabled and to the Spanish community (no English spoken!). One of them is searching for her place and working hard to prepare for her future. They need to connect with us. They need for us to tell them that we are proud of them and that we support their endeavors. They need for us to hurt with them when they are hurting. They need for us to say, “So, tell me about your day,” and “Give me details!”
Tying daily heart strings is more difficult than simply reading a morning devotional or being sure the laundry is done each day. It isn’t usually in the schedule. It is needed at the most inopportune times. The more you give, the more they seem to need. But it is essential. Our children need to have their heart strings tied to ours so that when the storms of life roll, they will have a safe haven of love and understanding—“Jesus” with arms and words of encouragement on this earth.
If you find that each day ends with no heart strings tied, try this little tip: In the corner of each day on your planner, put a little square. At the end of each day, write the initials of the child that you connected with that day in that little square. Purpose not to end a day without being able to write one sweet child’s initials in a daily square. Each week you can look back over your planner and see who missed out that week. (You know, the squeakiest wheel gets the grease!) Then next week, you will know who needs focused on more.
Or try this tip that I did for years and years when our older children were younger: have a “day” for each child. We milked this day for all it was worth. It was the child’s day to help me with dinner (or fix it herself as she got older); it was the child’s day to do extra chores; it was the child’s day to help teach some of the preschooler’s school. But it was also his day to pick two books for story time, sit in the front seat of the van if we went somewhere, and sit closest to Mom during read alouds. Heart-wise (and often unbeknownst to the child), it was his day to get a longer blessing during blessing time, to have a longer time with Dad at bedtime, and to get extra attention from Mom throughout the day. This is especially helpful for families with several children. Each child needs a day! 🙂
If you only do two things off my “eleven habits,” do Bible/character with your kids and tie heart strings every day. You can always get more organized, exercise, and work on projects later—your kids will be grown someday and these two things are not going to be on your “to do” list for forever.
Note: To start at the beginning of the “Eleven Daily Habits for ’11,” click on the link that follows: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2011/01/eleven-daily-habits-for-11.html
***Parts of this article were written in 2008 under the title “Eight Daily Habits for ’08” and published in Training for Triumph’s homeschooling newsletter (as opposed to the “Eleven Daily Habits of ‘11” in this blog).
by Donna | Jan 11, 2011
When we start the day out with our children and God’s Word, we are telling them that the Bible is the most important book to study and its truths are the most important knowledge to obtain. We decided nearly two dozen years ago that we would not teach academic subjects without teaching the Bible–and that it would be first. If we had time for the other subjects, great. If not, at least we had done the most important subject.
We have taught the Bible and character dozens of ways. There is no one “right way.” Ray’s favorite way is to open the Bible, read it together, and discuss it. I personally like using “programs”–reading from creation science books, character based books (like IBLP’s Character Sketches), Bible story books for younger children (like our favorite, Family Bible Library), character booklets and other devotional type booklets, etc. Ray has read through The Picture Bible with each child when each little one was between the ages of four and six. I read through the entire Family Bible Library with each child around that same time. We also enjoy reading devotional materials together: discipleship books, names of God books, Bible handbooks, and other “daily devotionals.” (One of my many fond memories of teaching “Bible” and “character” to the children is twenty years ago when the three oldest kids would eat breakfast at their “little table” every morning, and I would sit at the end of the table and read to them from our devotional as they ate. Oh, sweet, sweet days!)
If this habit has eluded you in the past, just pick up a devotional or other “daily” type book (even if it is just a few paragraphs in length for each entry), and read it at breakfast every morning. That will get the ball rolling. From that will likely spring discussions and applications galore as you build those truths and principles into your children’s lives.
Note: To start at the beginning of the “Eleven Daily Habits for ’11,” click on the link that follows: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2011/01/eleven-daily-habits-for-11.html
***Parts of this article were written in 2008 under the title “Eight Daily Habits for ’08” and published in Training for Triumph’s homeschooling newsletter (as opposed to the “Eleven Daily Habits of ‘11” in this blog).
by Donna | Jan 8, 2011
“I will not give sleep to mine eyes, or slumber to mine eyelids, Until I found out a place for the Lord, an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob.” Psalm 132: 4 & 5
Many years ago I found myself reciting a certain verse over and over to myself: “I will not give sleep to mine eyes, or slumber to mine eyelids, Until I found out a place for the Lord, an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob” (Psalm 132 4: & 5). I taught it to the children and then made it into a song that my girls and I enjoyed singing for some time (and I still do today!):
I will not (I will not) close my eyes (close my eyes);
I will not (I will not) slumber (slumber).
Til I’ve made a place (’til I’ve made a place)…
For the God of Jacob (for the God of Jacob)
‘Til I’ve made a place (’til I’ve made a place)
For my Lord (for my Lord).
Til I’ve made a place (’til I’ve made a place)…
For the God of Jacob (for the God of Jacob)
‘Til I’ve made a place (’til I’ve made a place)
For my Lord.
Jacob was just a toddler at that time, and he, of course, thought we were singing about him–and often asked for the “Jakie song.” However, for me, it became a nightly prayer/song. No matter what my day held; no matter how busy and hectic it was; no matter how I felt about this or that–I was telling the Lord that I would not go to sleep until I had cleared my mind and heart for Him. I have had different Bible and devotional reading habits through the years, including reading to and with the kids most days, but regardless of my reading routines, this song/verse calms me and reminds me to stop what I am doing and make room for the most important thing—the Lord living within me.
How can you make room for the Lord everyday? Some may feel that they are creating a place for God if they study the Bible before bed. Others might feel that they are clearing a path for him through family prayer or praying with your spouse. Regardless of what you do, do not close your eyes; do not slumber…until you’ve made a place for the Lord.
***Parts of this article were written in 2008 under the title “Eight Daily Habits for ’08” and published in Training for Triumph’s homeschooling newsletter (as opposed to the “Eleven Daily Habits of ‘11” in this blog).
by Donna | Jan 6, 2011
When people used to tell me this, I, of course (being the big thinker that I am), envisioned an hour in the early morning hours, in a prayer closet uninterrupted, worshipping, praying, and reading the Word. Because that could never happen in my life (and I can give you eight good reasons why it never did!), I never truly felt like I was ever “rising with the Lord.”
Then, I happened upon some verses that I could really sink my teeth into–meeting God in the night watches (perfect for us insomniacs!); God giving me a song in the night; etc. I might not be up at the crack of dawn, but I was often up throughout the night–those night watches and songs in the night were perfect for me!
Now that I am, well, maturing, I can’t stay up quite as late as I used to, but I still pray at night that God will give me a song in the night and that I will wake up with that song. And when I consistently do this, I do wake up with a song in my heart, a song that God gave me in the night. Many days, before I even open my eyes, my mind will start reciting words to a song: “Lord, you are more precious than silver”; “Be thou my vision”; “Cast me not away from your presence, Oh, Lord”; and much more. I am rising with the Lord! He is giving me a song in the night, and I am waking up with His song on my lips.
What does rising with the Lord mean to you? It could mean waking up and reading the Bible or a devotional before you do anything else. It might mean a prayer time before you start your day. However God leads you to rise with Him, make it a daily habit! Do not make it so elaborate (an hour in the Word and an hour in prayer!) that you cannot continue it your entire life, but do make it meaningful enough to have an effect on your day (which should be the result of any encounter with God).
***Parts of this article were written in 2008 under the title “Eight Daily Habits for ’08” and published in Training for Triumph’s homeschooling newsletter (as opposed to the “Eleven Daily Habits of ‘11” in this blog).
by Donna | Jan 4, 2011
Welcome to another year of Positive Parenting! We are switching gears to have a character training focus for the first part (or half!) of this year. We have found so many things that truly have helped us to help our children develop godly character—as well as many things that hindered good character in our kids—that we want to shout it from the mountaintops! Smile…
However, just like anything good that we want in our kids’ lives, we must first obtain it ourselves. I had seven children fourteen and under when this hit me like a ton of bricks! The poem below elaborates on this point. I pray that you will read it and take it to heart as you endeavor to raise your children to “put on the mind of Christ” and have the character of Christ in the coming year.
“I Looked Into the Eyes of My Children”
I looked into the eyes of my children, surprised by what I did see,
For I thought I’d see the face of Jesus, staring back at me.
But then when I observed their hearts, what I saw was a big surprise.
For instead, I saw me—their mother—reflected in their eyes.
All that I wish I wasn’t, all that I’d like to change,
Was reflected right there in their eyes, in many different ways.
All the things I wanted them to change, all the things I disliked the most,
Were merely reflections of me—things I should have already known.
I cried to the Lord, “Forgive me, for pressuring them, you see,
To be things that I am not willing—or even able—to be.”
When I heard an older one say, in a very selfish tone, “
I’ll give you my best toy, if you’ll only leave me alone.”
I saw manipulation take place and knew where it was learned,
For I, too, can be the very same way, the conniving way I spurned.
When I saw one of them want the best, I thought, “What a selfish child,”
Then saw myself being selfish in just a very short while.
When I heard one of them talk angrily,
I couldn’t believe my ears,
Until a few minutes later, my own angry voice did I hear.
I saw one of them putting frivolities before the things of the Lord,
And then saw me with my magazines, instead of God’s holy Word.
Day after day, God showed me, my children learn what they live,
And before I can help them to change, I must be willing to give—
Yes, give up the things that hold me from being what God wants me to be—
And willing to be an example—of Jesus—for my children to see.
Now when I see poor character reflected in my children’s eyes,
I look into the mirror, for it’s no longer such a surprise.
Instead of asking them to change, I ask God to work in me,
Day by day, changes in them take place—and Christ I am able to see.
Copyright 1998 Donna Reish
