by Donna | Feb 7, 2010
Last day of curbing television habits, honest! And to show you that I am not a fun buster, party pooper, or uncool mom, tomorrow I will give you a run down on our ten favorite “oldie goldie,” non-animated Disney movies!
In the meantime, I have one more day of strategies to curb your family’s television habits, specifically those of your children. So here are my final thoughts on this (for a while, anyway!):
1. Have the children earn television hours. This has been suggested to us many times when we speak about time management and time with your children, so it must work well for some folks! I have heard of various ways to earn tv time—same number of hours reading as watching, getting so many minutes per chore, earning minutes by doing things on time (i.e. homework done by six equals 30 mins tv), etc.
2. Watch out for preschoolers tube time! This isn’t a method for controlling as much as an admonition. Your preschoolers will grow to dislike simple pleasures very quickly if they watch television and movies all day. We had a “no movie during the day period” rule most of our lives. (The exception to this was one hour of educational dvds, like Reading Rainbow, Doughnut Man, NEST videos, etc. for one hour after naps with a particularly trying child.) Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours per day of television for two year old and up preschoolers and none for children under two. There are so many more educational, meaningful, physical, and fun things for two and three year olds to do besides watching television!
3. Make a “no turning on the television without permission” rule. I am amazed when children come into a house and turn on the television. I have seen semi-pornography on commercials for television shows many, many times when we are at someone’s house watching football or in a motel viewing television. I would never consider letting our kids have the remote control to a tv and flipping through the channels. They just see way more than they should see at their ages (or more than I want me or my husband to see!).
4. Be careful not to use television as a babysitter too much. I know preschoolers and toddlers are demanding. I had six kids twelve and under all at home by myself twelve to fourteen hours a day every day—without television! However, continually putting little ones in front of the television is simply not healthy for them. Their attention spans will not lengthen like they would if they were listening to talking books, listening to you read aloud, or building with Duplos. Use the television as a babysitter only when it is absolutely needed—and try to find other ways to entertain toddlers as much as possible.
5. Limit daytime viewing for everyone. We always told our kids that daytime was for learning and working—and evenings were for resting, fellowshipping, and family. It is extremely hard to control the number of hours our kids watch television when they watch from seven to eight before school and again from four to six after school—to start with!
6. Pay attention to how much time children spend using all screen media. In a study recorded in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the hours of actual screen time logged by children versus the hours that parents estimated were significantly different. In our media-driven age, we should be aware of all of our children’s media/screen time—not just television*.
7. Do not put a television set in a child’s bedroom. The aforementioned study discovered that children with televisions in their bedrooms watch significantly more television than children without. Furthermore, parents monitored television habits much less when there were many television sets in a household—and especially when the children’s rooms contained televisions.
8. Turn the television off when it is not being used for purposeful viewing. The studied previously cited found a negative association between the use of television as “background” and children’s time spent reading. Quite simply, reading is a simple pleasure that many children do not enjoy—background noise of television is not conducive to enjoying this pasttime that takes a great deal more effort than simply viewing and listening.
9. Pinpoint other nonscreen, in-home activities that your children enjoy. When discussing the idea of reducing television viewing time in your home, you might have a family meeting and draw up a list of other ideas of things the family can do instead of watching television. A website devoted to helping families reduce their dependence upon television, The Television Turnoff Network (https://www.televisionturnoff.org/), lists one hundred alternatives to “screen time” that parents can suggest to their children.
Family time is worth fighting for. The relationships that can be developed when some of the distractions are removed are incredible. The amazing things that we and our children can do with the time that we are not watching television are worthwhile. Don’t let your children set out to spend nearly fourteen years of their lives watching television!
*Jordan, Amy, PhD; James C. Hersey, PhD; Judith A. McDivitt, PhD; Carrie D. Heitzler, MPH. “Reducing Children’s Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.” Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Web. Feb 2010.
by Donna | Feb 6, 2010
Last day of curbing television habits, honest! And to show you that I am not a fun buster, party pooper, or uncool mom, tomorrow I will give you a run down on our ten favorite “oldie goldie,” non-animated Disney movies!
In the meantime, I have one more day of strategies to curb your family’s television habits, specifically those of your children. So here are my final thoughts on this (for a while, anyway!):
1. Have the children earn television hours. This has been suggested to us many times when we speak about time management and time with your children, so it must work well for some folks! I have heard of various ways to earn tv time—same number of hours reading as watching, getting so many minutes per chore, earning minutes by doing things on time (i.e. homework done by six equals 30 mins tv), etc.
2. Watch out for preschoolers tube time! This isn’t a method for controlling as much as an admonition. Your preschoolers will grow to dislike simple pleasures very quickly if they watch television and movies all day. We had a “no movie during the day period” rule most of our lives. (The exception to this was one hour of educational dvds, like Reading Rainbow, Doughnut Man, NEST videos, etc. for one hour after naps with a particularly trying child.) Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours per day of television for two year old and up preschoolers and none for children under two. There are so many more educational, meaningful, physical, and fun things for two and three year olds to do besides watching television!
3. Make a “no turning on the television without permission” rule. I am amazed when children come into a house and turn on the television. I have seen semi-pornography on commercials for television shows many, many times when we are at someone’s house watching football or in a motel viewing television. I would never consider letting our kids have the remote control to a tv and flipping through the channels. They just see way more than they should see at their ages (or more than I want me or my husband to see!).
4. Be careful not to use television as a babysitter too much. I know preschoolers and toddlers are demanding. I had six kids twelve and under all at home by myself twelve to fourteen hours a day every day—without television! However, continually putting little ones in front of the television is simply not healthy for them. Their attention spans will not lengthen like they would if they were listening to talking books, listening to you read aloud, or building with Duplos. Use the television as a babysitter only when it is absolutely needed—and try to find other ways to entertain toddlers as much as possible.
5. Limit daytime viewing for everyone. We always told our kids that daytime was for learning and working—and evenings were for resting, fellowshipping, and family. It is extremely hard to control the number of hours our kids watch television when they watch from seven to eight before school and again from four to six after school—to start with!
6. Pay attention to how much tie children spend using all screen media. In a study recorded in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the hours of actual screen time logged by children versus the hours that parents estimated were significantly different. In our media-driven age, we should be aware of all of our children’s media/screen time—not just television*.
7. Do not put a television set in a child’s bedroom. The aforementioned study discovered that children with televisions in their bedrooms watch significantly more television than children without. Furthermore, parents monitored television habits much less when there were many television sets in a household—and especially when the children’s rooms contained televisions.
8. Turn the television off when it is not being used for purposeful viewing. The studied previously cited found a negative association between the use of television as “background” and children’s time spent reading. Quite simply, reading is a simple pleasure that many children do not enjoy—background noise of television is not conducive to enjoying this pasttime that takes a great deal more effort than simply viewing and listening.
9. Pinpoint other nonscreen, in-home activities that your children enjoy. When discussing the idea of reducing television viewing time in your home, you might have a family meeting and draw up a list of other ideas of things the family can do instead of watching television. A website devoted to helping families reduce their dependence upon television, The Television Turnoff Network (www.televisionturnoff.org) lists one hundred alternatives to “screen time” that parents can suggest to their children.
Family time is worth fighting for. The relationships that can be developed when some of the distractions are removed are incredible. The amazing things that we and our children can do with the time that we are not watching television are worthwhile. Don’t let your children set out to spend nearly fourteen years of their lives watching television!
*Jordan, Amy, PhD; James C. Hersey, PhD; Judith A. McDivitt, PhD; Carrie D. Heitzler, MPH. “Reducing Children’s Television-Viewing Time: A Qualitative Study of Parents and Their Children.” Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Web. Feb 2010.
by Donna | Feb 1, 2010
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be –
I had a mother who read to me.
~Strickland Gillilan
The rhyme above came from one of the posters that we used to have hanging in our nursery. In the mornings when I got our babies and toddlers out of bed, I would read that rhyme to them—not so much for them, but to remind myself of the value of reading to our children. Today’s post is another review—of a toddler/preschool product that has been one of my favorites for twenty-five years!
The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes—our first picture Bible! All of our children loved this beautiful Bible story book, which was on our nursery dresser for over twenty years! They even called it “Little Eyes Bible”—“Can we read my ‘Little Eyes Bible’?” Too cute!
It is written by Kenneth Taylor, the man behind The Living Bible, so those of you who were introduced to TLB as a teen and loved it during your formative years will appreciate Taylor’s love for God’s Word and his life-long pursuit to make it accessible to all ages.
Anyway, picture Bibles are plentiful out there, but this was our favorite first for several reasons: (1) the pictures were incredible (see note below); (2) it has more Bible stories than many other Bible picture books—and has unique ones that are often overlooked in preschool materials; (3) some of the longer stories are broken down, so they do not become too long yet still do not cut out too much to the point that they lose the original story line; (4) the size is compact (see note below); (5) the stories focus on the character of God; (6) questions are provided after each story that are great for promoting discussion with your children (7) the stories are short and are readable in a quick setting before bed, etc.
Now, the downsides: (1) the one that we had with our first few kids is not available anymore; it is the one that had the best pictures, in my opinion, as they were beautiful artwork; the pictures in the new one are “modern”—some people like that better but I did not; (2) the old one was a little unwieldy; it was 9 ½ x 6 ½–and was somewhat awkward since it was long horizontally—the new one is perfect in size (6 ½ x 5 ½); (3) the old one is terribly expensive unless you can find it used; the new one, however, is extremely reasonably priced.
This is the perfect Bible to begin family devotions with toddlers and preschoolers. Each story takes only minutes—add it to your rising, bedtime, or dinner routine and start a tradition of reading the Bible together each day!
Link for old one: https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Pictures-LittleEyes/dp/0802405959/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t ($64 new!)
Link for new one: https://www.lamppostpublishing.com/preschool_little_hands.htm
(under $20)
Note about story book Bibles that are “phonetic”: This Bible story book is not phonetically or vocabulary controlled. This means that it was not written specifically so a new reader could read it. There are many “early reader” Bibles out there—and they are great for early readers. However, I preferred to use those for reading practice for the child and “non-controlled” Bibles and books for me to read aloud. Using “controlled” Bibles and books means that the vocabulary will be stilted in order to try to keep it at a certain readability level. Therefore, it will not be as great as “literature” but more useful to provide reading material for first and second graders. (Watch for reviews of phonetically and vocabulary controlled Bibles in upcoming posts.)
by Donna | Jan 31, 2010
“The Tower of Babel”
“Come!” said the man,
“Let’s make ourselves a name!
“Let’s build ourselves a tower.
And get ourselves some fame!”
“Let’s all work togehter
And make the tower high,
So it stretches up to heaven
And reaches to the sky!”
But God above was watching
As the men worked on the tower.
He saw they wanted greatness.
He saw they wanted power.
He wasn’t please with what he saw.
He knew it wasn’t good.
He said, “I’ll mix their language
So they can’t be understood!”
So when a workman tried to talk
With other workmen near,
Funny words and babble sounds
Came drifting to his ear.
“Tee…lee! A-lah-doo-ween!”
“What is that? What do you mean?”
“Pim-pam! A-dack-a-too!”
“Well, I give up! I cant work with you!”
No longer could they talk,
And no longer could they build.
They couldn’t work together,
So their hammers soon were stilled.
They couldn’t live together,
So they scattered far apart,
And that’s how the languages
First got their start.
I love picture books! Well, really, I love most books, which is why we have well over a thousand books in a fourteen hundred square foot house—bookcases in nearly every room! On the weekends, I want to try to post a review/introduction (or more) to products (books, videos, audios, etc.) that we have used with our children throughout the years to teach them Bible and character. The materials I will highlight are readily available online (I’ll include links)—and Positive Parenting does not sell them. We simply love them!
I am going to start this weekend with three products (two today and one tomorrow) for babies and toddlers that were our first favorites. We used these three items with all of our seven of our children—and I am sure that they will use them with their children too. By the way, all three of them make beautiful baby shower gifts!
1. Felt Bible Activity Books—Betty Lukens’ felts are popular in day cares, preschools, and Sunday schools. We have had them for twenty-five years. They are beautiful and fun for children of all ages. Our kids used to love to re-enact Bible stories on the sofa with them (though we had felt boards too). The sets that I am recommending here are activity books. They are eight by eleven inch (or so) felt books that have pockets on the backs of the pages for storing the felt pieces that you use on the colorful fronts. In addition to Bible stories, they also have nature, first lessons in colors, etc., and much more. These are ideal for use when your toddler needs to sit quietly on your lap. We recommend saving them for just those occasions to make them even more special. Downside: They come unassembled. You have to cut them out yourself (though sewing or other “tools” are not needed).
Link: https://www.bettylukens.com/catalog_detail.php?id=62&returnCode=L2NhdGFsb2cucGhwP2NhdGVnb3J5X2NvZGU9ZmVsdA==
(under $15)
2. The Bible Time Nursery Rhyme Book—When I looked this book up online, I had trouble finding it—and there was a lot of chatter about it being unavailable now or in the near future. Not sure about all of that, but I do know that all of my children have adored this book, as did I. It contains Bible stories and other biblical concepts (God loves us; we should obey, etc.) in rhyme. It’s worth looking for and purchasing this book. Your toddlers and preschoolers will love it!
Note: We also had the Christian Mother Goose book and audio book, but I always enjoyed this rhyming book more. The rhymes felt truer and more rhythmic to me.
https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Time-Nursery-Rhyme-Book/dp/089081404X (looked to me like it was still available used for around ten dollars and listed varying prices for new)
by Donna | Jan 28, 2010
“The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint.”
Florida Scott-Maxwell
How true that quote is! I can remember being in the worst of moods or utterly despondent, and as I sat down in my rocker with baby in arms and sang a lullaby—the world got just a little bit sweeter.
I enjoyed rocking and nursing our newborns so much. Then as they grew to be older babies and toddlers, I would often rock just a teeny bit before bed and naps. (We trained our toddlers to go to bed without being rocked, walked, or driven to sleep.) However, the real “rockies” were first thing in the morning and after naps. Our toddlers knew that we would go straight from the crib to the rocking chair. What sweet memories!
With the advent of “proppable” bottles and hurried lives, we have often lost the art of “rockies” and “read alouds”—two of my favorite activities with my children. I am so thankful that I had these times with my older children—which made me want to continue them with my littles as well.
We even had our own Reish Family Lullaby that I wrote halfway through childbearing—and that even my older kids would sing to the boys when they held them and rocked them—and I am sure that they will use it with their own children someday too. I will share it below. Feel free to put it with your own tune—and enjoy your “precious babies.”
Precious Baby
Precious Baby, how I love you,
How you make my heart to sing.
Precious Baby, how I love you,
Oh, the joy your young life brings.
How have I become so blessed…to hold you oh so near?
How have I become so blessed…to have you, oh my dear?
by Donna | Jan 27, 2010
“There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.”
Anatole Broyard
The evening wore on with Kayla, our seemingly-near-genius eleven year old dyslexic and dysgraphic, still sitting at the dining room table, her eyes puffy from crying, and Mom and Dad hovering nearby demanding that she “just write that paragraph.” Kayla was smart; there was no reason why she couldn’t pen a simple paragraph. She read widely, at least a chapter book a week, though usually much more than that, and she knew more information than any eleven year old I had ever met. And yet writing a puny little paragraph appeared to be out of her reach. However, we, her parents, persevered—she would do this because we told her to. She was too smart not to be able to do what we demanded of her.
Not our best parenting moment—and thankfully, we learned from Kayla about expecting things out of our kids that they simply are not able to produce. Kayla became a modern-day success story—once we learned to focus on her strengths and downplay her weaknesses. Within four years of that evening, she was co-writing curriculum for fourth graders with me (with a computer to type on and spell check to correct her spelling). Within five years of that evening, she wrote a children’s chapter book, a biographical compilation about missionaries. Within seven years of that evening, she received perfect ACT verbal scores—not once, but twice (not bad for a child who learned to read at age nine and write at age twelve!).
It took us a while, but through Kayla’s dysgraphia and dyslexia—and through a strong-willed little son who tried to convince us that he could not learn to obey(!)—we discovered a crucial parenting truth: have high expectations of the things that are in your child’s control and no expectations for the things that are not in his or her control.
We parents have a tendency to do as the quote above infers: we have grandiose ideas about what our kids should be able to do, and these things are often not in their control, while we overlook the simple things, like obedience and respect, which are fully in their control.
We learned that it was unfair, and unwise, to expect our children to do things before they were ready to do them. These things, like pottying, learning to read, writing, spelling, penning, and other “normal” activities, are all based on readiness. Yelling, begging, cajoling, and punishing will not make them happen any sooner than they will likely happen for that child without those “motivators.” It is far better to wait for readiness for these things and keep the diaper on, continue reading aloud to the child, and proceed with letting the son or daughter dictate what he or she wants to write—until he or she is truly ready to do those things.
We also learned that it is unfair, and unwise, to not expect our children to do things that do not require readiness. These things, like obeying the first time, being kind to others, showing respect to adults, are all based on training. If a child is nearing two years old, he can be trained to come when he is called, to not harm another person, and to not scream or tell his authorities “no.” There is no “readiness age” for starting to develop good character.
Expect great things from your kids—for those areas that are in their control. Have great patience with your kids—for those areas that are not.
