by Donna | Apr 7, 2010
“Soon it was time for Jakie to play in his play pen, so Josiah and I got to play together. Next thing I knew, we were in trouble! Mommy came into the room and said that it looked like a tornado went through. We did it again! We got too many things out at one time. We had stuff all over the living room: Legos, cars and trucks, Duplo people, books, and stuffed animals. It took us FOREVER to clean it up—even with Kara’s help. Josiah and I had to each do an extra fifteen minute chore with Mommy because we forgot the rule about getting out too many things at one time. “
Jakie went to his playpen, and the two preschoolers went to their room to play. Recipe for disaster or thirty minutes for Mom to get something done—and thirty minutes of focused activity time for the littles? Well, you can see that Jonathan and Josiah had a little trouble with getting too many things out at one time, so I won’t act as though room time and/or play pen time is always a breeze, but I will share what I think are the benefits of such times in a toddler’s/preschooler’s day—and tomorrow I will share a few how-to’s for those who desire to learn how to implement these times in your littles’ schedule.
First, the benefits of having a daily (as much as possible) room time or play pen time:
1. Increase in focusing skills—Preschoolers are busy people! Add to their “busy-ness” all of the technological distractions, and it becomes obvious why attention spans of children seem to be getting shorter and shorter. According to Dimitri Christakis, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital and Regional Medical Center in Seattle who studied 1,300 toddlers and preschoolers using a television survey and comparing that to a behavior checklist, frequent TV viewers in early childhood were most likely to score in the highest ten percent for concentration problems, impulsiveness, and restlessness. His survey went on to show that every added hour of watching TV increased a child’s odds of having attention problems by about ten percent. Kids watching about three hours a day were thirty percent more likely to have attention/focusing trouble than those who did not watch television. (This survey also accounted for many other factors besides television that could be linked to problems concentrating; however, the television connection continued.)
We tried to build extensive attention spans in our children at young ages (as much as it was in their control!). We did this through many means discussed on this blog—limiting electronic stimuli, reading aloud to them, providing daily audio listening time, maintaining a schedule that is conducive to learning and healthy intellectual development, exposing them to a variety of activities—AND instituting room time/play pen time for them. When children are given one activity (or a few choices) to do in a small space (without distractions and other choices), they can actually do the hard work of concentrating. (See future posts for the link between this and natural readers from a graduate school study I did many years ago!)
2. Builds many preschool skills naturally—we had a loose family policy that, even though we homeschool, we would not teach anything formally to our young children that could be taught informally. This meant that we would not use workbooks day in and day out to teach letter recognition; we would just use signs along the road and on stores. This meant that we would not have our littles complete worksheets matching the letter to the picture of the beginning sound—but we would instead point out letters and sounds everywhere—as we read aloud to them, as we drove…as we “were in the way with them”! If we offer educational activities for our littles during room time/play pen time, we give them opportunities to learn naturally and at their speed. This can be done through puzzles, blocks, book and tape sets, matching activities, beads, etc. etc. (I will provide links for some suggested activities tomorrow.)
3. Provide a small amount of time for Mom to get something else done—room time, when carried out consistently and followed through on as needed, can give Mom thirty to sixty minutes to get other things done, knowing that her littles are safe, learning, and contained! I always used room time for the second-most Mom-intensive thing on my agenda that day. (The most Mom-intensive things were reserved for nap times.)
Now that you know a couple of the benefits that we found to room time/play pen time, stay with us tomorrow as I share tips on implementing this beneficial time in the life of your little ones.
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
by Donna | Apr 6, 2010
“During breakfast clean-up, we listened to a story tape, which I LOVE. After breakfast, Mommy, Josiah, Kara, and I read some animal stories since that is what Kara is studying in our homeschool. I love animal stories and begged Mommy to read another one, but she didn’t have time because my big brother needed her help on his math. She said maybe we would read an extra one tomorrow—I’ll be sure to remind her.
I had to help with Baby Jacob. He can be so grouchy sometimes! Luckily, Mommy let me give him Cheerios to quiet him down, so I got some too.”*
Today’s excerpts from “Jonathan’s Journal” show Jonathan enjoying interaction with older siblings and younger siblings. Preschoolers love to be a part of what is going on! As homeschoolers, we found that each of our preschoolers, from number five through number seven, wanted to “do cool” like their older brothers and sisters. They wanted to do what everybody else was doing. Thus, we have found that including them in what is going on in the family is a healthy thing for them (that sense of belonging) but also helpful for Mom when the preschooler is taught to interact appropriately with babies and toddlers.
Whether you are a homeschooler or not, there are many things that you do all the time with older kids—take them to the library for a school project, help with homework, do an art or craft for expo at school, etc. Consider including your preschoolers whenever possible. While, as homeschoolers, there are many times in which the preschooler simply has to entertain himself (and sometimes little brother!), there are many other times in which we can include the preschooler in what we do. These obviously include reading aloud, art, music, crafts, etc. As indicated in the lengthy read-aloud posts, preschoolers love to listen to us read to older ones (while they learn to “make the pictures in their heads”).**
Preschoolers can be outstanding “babysitters” for toddlers, as Jonathan was in today’s passage. We helped strengthen the bonds between our older children and younger ones by providing opportunities in which the older was “responsible” for the little for a short time. Depending on the age of the older and the little, this could be a time in which the older read to the little or played a game or built Legoes, etc. or it could have just been a time in which the older got out the little’s “busy basket” and played with him or her (or fed Cheerios to the toddler!).
While I can’t say that this daily time together was THE main component of strengthening the relationships between the olders and youngers in our home, I will say that something did it—and this had to at least contribute to it. Even to this day, our nineteen, twenty-two, twenty-four, and twenty-seven year olds think that their “little brothers” (ages eleven, fifteen, and seventeen) are the most incredible teens and preteens. It seems like there isn’t an instance that goes by in which I am talking to one of the older kids and he or she doesn’t mention something about how awesome one of the “little guys” is. I feel certain that the daily interaction and part in their care that the older ones had (and the fact that the little had to obey their older siblings, which caused the olders to love caring for and being around them) has been a contributing factor in their love and respect for their younger siblings.
Include your preschoolers with the older kids—and the younger kids! Challenge them in things that are in their control. And enjoy them.
We have a full week lined up for you—room time/play pen time for preschoolers and toddlers. Applying the “expectations and reality discipline” to your day.” And…ending with chores, chores, chores, including a lengthy list of ages and appropriate chores. Thanks for joining us!
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
**Read aloud posts start here: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-fifty-eight-create-read-aloud-times.html
by Donna | Apr 5, 2010
“Mommy read out loud from a chapter book while we ate. I’m starting to kind of like chapter books, even though they don’t have any pictures; I can make the pictures in my head now.”*
I have talked at length in this blog about expectations of our children (and will likely continue to do so!). Specifically, I discussed the concept of having high expectations of our children in the areas that they CAN control (i.e. kindness, obedience, diligence, etc.) and limiting expectations in the areas that they can NOT control (potty training, learning to read, penmanship, spelling, etc.).**
While children often do not have control over whether they are ready to learn to read or be potty trained, we can challenge our children in many areas in non-stressful ways. Today’s excerpt (which was also the excerpt from a couple of days ago) describes Jonathan listening to me read aloud to him from a chapter book (while the children ate—always the efficiency expert, here!). It also described something that I loved to hear my kids tell me: “I can make pictures in my head now.”
While we are waiting for readiness to develop in children in their “uncontrolled areas,” we can challenge them and help them build up to the readiness of those things. While Jonathan, as a preschool non-reader, could not read chapter books, I could read them to him, and challenge him mentally to develop the pictures in his mind, build his listening comprehension (which tremendously affects reading comprehension later when the child becomes a reader), and much more. This is a prime example of challenging children in a non-stressful way.
Here are a few ways to challenge your young children in non-stressful ways to get you started. Since my family has convinced me to continue PP 365 in the year 2011 too, I will likely add many more examples of challenging our children in academics and diligence (two other blog ideas I was considering for next year) right here on PP, so “stay tuned”!
1. Read above their readability level—This is what I described above. When our children are non-readers (or even limited readers—just learning and/or only reading phonetically-controlled materials), we can read above their reading level to increase their listening comprehension—and help them “make pictures in their minds.” (More on this when we talk about reading, elementary kids, and tweens—honest!)
2. Discussing everything—the best way to challenge our children in academics in a non-stressful way is to discuss everything. (PP 365 has several posts on this!) Just because a child cannot read it for himself yet (in the case of a young child or struggling reader) or just because he cannot experience it for himself (i.e. taking a trip to the moon!) does not mean that he cannot learn about it from you, the parent, through discussion. Don’t be afraid to embark on conversations about everything. Bring library books home about “school” subjects and discuss the books after you read them to him. Discussion is the best way to build a background of experience that a child can bring with him into all of his future learning experiences. (See Learning Hooks post earlier this year.)
3. Build attention span—One way to build a child’s attention span in a non-stressful way is to provide audios for the child to listen to—and, especially, replace some video/television time with them. I will be reviewing several audio recommendations throughout the year, but to get you started, consider the following for the preschool/elementary child:
a. Uncle Dan and Aunt Sue story tapes (i.e. Your Story Hour)—outstanding story tapes with sound effects, voices, etc. for young children—start with the Bible stories and true life character stories (available from Library and Educational Services)
b. Adventures in Odyssey radio drama—the best audio stories (Bible, true life, history, etc.) for ages six through fourteen we have ever seen, hands down. Available from Focus on the Family. (Also available to listen to online at https://www.whitsend.org/ )
c. Book and “tape” sets—book and tape sets, available at your children’s library, usually in bag and cd/tape pairs, are outstanding ways to have your child go through hundreds of picture books on his own. (We personally had our preschoolers do a book and tape set every day on their “daily checklist.” They especially enjoyed re-listening to stories that we had read together during story time.)
d. Audio books—if you are just making the transition from picture books to your child listening to chapter books, and you want to do more than what you have time to read to him, consider audio books or talking books. If he is just starting out, you can do some easier ones like Magic Tree House, Boxcar Children, American Girl, Aesops’ Fables (or other story “collections”), etc.
4. Focus on skills and behaviors that he does have control over. I have mentioned this like a broken record, and, believe it or not, I have more to say about it in “readiness for school” coming up sometime in the future! For now, I just want to reiterate the common sense idea of spending your time and energy on controllable things for your child. Your four year old can learn to be helpful, kind, obedience, cheerful, and more. Do not be concerned if he can say his ABC’s backwards or skip ten feet. Focus on the really important stuff now—“it will all shake out in the end”! smile….
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
**Link to expectation post from earlier this year: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-twenty-seven-have-high-expectations.html
by Donna | Apr 4, 2010
Since it is Easter Sunday, I am going to diverge from our toddler and preschool talk and share a recipe that has been floating around the internet and various groups I subscribe to for a number of years. It is an excellent hands-on project for young children and parents (or grandparents) around Easter time—and is especially good for family devotions.
Ingredients:
-1 cup whole pecans
-1 tsp vinegar
-3 egg whites
-pinch of salt
-1 cup sugar
–Also needed: wooden spoon, zip-type bag, Scotch type tape, and Bible
Steps:
1. On the night before Easter (or the night before you will unveil them with your children), preheat oven to 300’ F. (Do not do halfway through recipe; do it immediately upon starting.)
2. Place pecans in zip lock bag and let the children hit them with a wooden spoon until they are broken into small pieces. READ John 19: 1-3 and explain that after Jesus was arrested, he was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
3. Open vinegar and allow children to smell it. Put 1 tsp vinegar into mixing bowl. READ John 18:28-30 and explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar.
4. Separate eggs, and add egg whites to the vinegar (discard or save yolks for another use). READ John 10:10 & 11 and explain that eggs represent life—and Jesus gave His life in order to give us eternal life.
5. Sprinkle a little salt in each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. READ Luke 23:27 and explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers—and the bitterness of our own sins.
6. Explain that the ingredients in the bowl so far are not very tasty. Add 1 cup sugar. READ: Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16 and explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us and wants us to know and belong to Him.
7. Beat mixture with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. READ Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3 and explain that the color white represents purity that God sees in those of us who have been cleansed by Jesus.
8. Fold in the broken nuts. Drop the cookies by teaspoon full onto waxed paper-covered cookie sheet. READ Matthew 27:57-60 and explain that each mound of cookie dough represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was placed.
9. Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door, and turn the oven off.
10. Give each child a piece of tape and allow them to seal the oven door with the strips of tape. READ Matthew 27:65-66 and explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed.
11. Explain that just as they would like the cookies tonight and might be sad having to leave them in the oven overnight, so Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. READ John 16: 20 & 22.
12. Go to bed.
13. The next morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. READ Matthew 28:1-9 and explain that Jesus’ followers found the tomb empty the next morning. Have each child take a bite of his or her cookie—and see that the cookies are hollow—just as the tomb was hollow on Easter morning because Jesus had risen.
by Donna | Apr 3, 2010
“Mommy read out loud from a chapter book while we ate. I’m starting to kind of like chapter books, even though they don’t have any pictures; I can make the pictures in my head now.”*
I love the instruction we received twenty years ago about teaching your children everything all the time! It is based on a passage in Deuteronomy about when you should talk to your children about God (what he’s done for you; about his love, justice, mercy, etc; everything about him!):
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes” Deuteronomy 6:5-8 (NKJV)
It essentially lists four key times, times that might be considered “useless” for instruction, but yet are actually very “teachable moments”:
1. When you rise up—in the mornings before the busy-ness of the day begins
2. When you sit down—anytime you are just sitting around with your kids (while you’re waiting, driving, etc.)
3. When you walk by the way—again while just walking through life (at the grocery, taking a walk, going to your next event or appointment, etc.)
4. When you lie down—bedtime!
In the “Jonathan’s Journal” passage for today, Jonathan enjoyed listening to a chapter book being read aloud while he ate breakfast—the first two opportune times in our Deuteronomy verse—when you rise up and when you sit down.
These Old Testament verses are obviously not law or commandments. But like many other passages throughout the Bible—they are good, common sense ideas that yield tremendous fruit. (Doing things the Bible says has that effect!) Incorporate teaching times—via talking, reading aloud, listening to audios together, etc. into times that are already part of your life.
We are all our children’s first—and most important—teachers, whether our children are homeschooled, private schooled, or public schooled. We have the four opportunities listed in Deuteronomy to use as teaching times—times to tell our kids about the importance of good character, to talk about God and His ways, to reiterate the sacrifice Christ made for us so that we could live forever in heaven, to emphasize the importance of people and relationships, to instruct in how to get along with others, and so much more.
The next time you are “with your children in the way,” or you “rise up in the morning,” or you “sit down with them for a meal,” or you “lay them down for sleep,” consider the “teachable moments that are before you—and teach your children the Old Testament, common-sense, heart-reaching way.
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
by Donna | Apr 2, 2010
“My big sister made yolky eggs for breakfast. I had to butter the toast—which is the worst job ‘coz it takes FOREVER. It’s worth it when I push a corner of the toast into the yolk, and the yellow puddle oozes out. I love yolky eggs.”*
Preschoolers can be so dramatic (as evidenced by Jonathan thinking that it takes FOREVER to butter the toast in today’s excerpt!). But you know, that is part of what I love most about them. One of my best friends has grandchildren. Specifically, she has two granddaughters from two different sons that are within a month or two of each other in age, both five years old. I could literally sit for hours and watch them talk to each other—all the drama that two darling little girls can manufacture, pulling their hair out of their face, eyes wide with expression, whispering…oh the drama of preschoolers.
Today’s passage from “Jonathan’s Journal” makes an important point about preschoolers—make them part of the family routine! They love to do. To be a part. To feel important. And incorporating them into the daily routine of chores, schedules, and family doings helps them feel a part—and feel important.
We liked to give our children as difficult of jobs and as much work as they could reasonably handle. We never gave them token jobs. (More on this in a few days, honest!) I can remember Jakie, when he was five, coming home from a family’s house and exclaiming: “Do you know what Stevie does for his chores? He unloads the SILVERWARE! That is humiliating. I would be so embarrassed if the only job I could do was unloading the silverware!”
We have laughed about this story over and over—but he makes a good case for not giving children token jobs only! We have found that the more challenging the jobs, the more training the children receive to do those jobs, the more they rise to the occasion. And they are so proud of their accomplishments when they do tackle harder work.
We stressed from early ages that our family needed each member. That each one contributed to the family in important ways. We always pointed out the ways that each child made our family successful—the chores that they handled way beyond their years, the load that was lightened by each one’s contribution, the vast amounts of work that could be accomplished thanks to each person. Make your preschooler part of the family routine—but not just any part. Make him an important, needful part—and let him know that he is!
*For the complete story of “Jonathan’s Journal, follow this link: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-seventy-eight-introducing-jonathans.html
