by Donna | Jun 9, 2010
“After Daddy hugged and kissed Kara and Josiah good-night, he asked me to sit on his lap for a minute. He held me close, smiled real big, got water eyes, and then said, ‘Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!’”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
Jonathan told earlier in his story about how he hoped I would tell his dad about how he put Josiah first when they were racing in their chores—and how he loves it when I do that and when Daddy says, “Jonathan, Mommy told me a good report about you!” Well, here it is at bedtime, and what Jonathan hoped would happen, did!
My kids love it when they know that Mom and Dad are talking about them in a positive light. They love it when they know that we are not just talking about discipline problems or areas that the kids need to work on—but are discussing the good things that they do.
We had a tradition in our home that Ray would tell the kids the very words from the passage: “Mommy told me a good report about you.” Then he would share with them what it was that he heard about them. They loved this—and our teen boys (ages 17, 15, and nearly 12) still love it when Dad points out their good deeds and characteristics.
Make it a habit of tag-teaming to tell your kids how great they are doing in certain areas. Try not to have a continuous stream of negative or critical comments and discussions. Surely we can all find some good things to say even in the midst of times in which we are continually working on areas with our kids.
And how much sweeter is the sleep of a preschooler (or any child) who is told just before bed that someone (especially if it is Mom and/or Dad) is noticing good things about him or her!
That wraps up our lengthy time with Jonathan! I hope you have been blessed by looking into one of my days from ten years ago—as I have been blessed in sharing it and reliving it.
Tomorrow—summer begins here at PP 365! If you have friends who need advice and tips for helping their children academically this summer (especially with reading, comprehension, etc.), tell them about Positive Parenting 3*6*5!
by Donna | Jun 8, 2010
“We got ready for bed and Daddy, Kara, Josiah, and I did our PICTURE BIBLE. Daddy always stops at the most exciting parts!”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
Today’s excerpt brings me to a few important preschool points:
1. Involve Dad in the instruction of preschoolers whenever possible, especially in the case of Bible and biblical principles. Preschoolers need to know (if possible) that it isn’t just Mom who believes in this Bible stuff! And that it is important enough to his parents to use some of Daddy’s hard-to-come-by, precious time to read the Bible with him.
2. Stop at exciting parts in your reading! We always tried to make read aloud such an enjoyable experience that the kids were begging us to read to them! My older kids even had a little chant they would do in unison when I ended a chapter during read aloud: “Read another chapter! Read another chapter! Read another chapter!” My boys still do it for me to give me memories of when my olders were all littles and did it quite literally everyday.
3. Use picture Bibles liberally with this age group. I will re-post links below for some of the picture Bibles I have reviewed this year. Check them out and get one today!
4. If you do not feel that you can purchase books for your family, do invest in the library. Our public library has many, many picture Bibles, creation stories, and Bible story books. With the liberal generosity of public libraries, none of our children should be without story time, Bible read alouds, and bedtime stories!!
Links for Reviews and Recommendations of Bible stories/devotionals for preschoolers and toddlers from earlier posts:
Devotional read alouds for preschoolers Part I (lots of materials introduced): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-134-devotionals-morning-or-anytime.html
Devotional read alouds for preschoolers Part II (lots of materials introduced): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-135-devotionals-read-aloud-books.html
Faith read alouds for 6-10 year olds (lost of materials introduced): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-137-devotionals-read-aloud-faith.html
Character Sketches (we started this with our four year olds): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-136-character-sketches-review-faith.html
Family Bible Library (we started this at 4-6 year old): https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-fifty-nine-think-of-yourself-as.html
Nest Videos: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-fifty-one-get-bible-and-character.html
Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes—one of our first Bible picture books: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-thirty-two-start-young-with-bible.html
by Donna | Jun 7, 2010
“After we played army men, it was almost time for bed. Mommy gave us a five minute warning—which meant we only had five more minutes of fun before we had to clean up our toys. I wanted to leave it set up for tomorrow, but Mommy said tomorrow is “grocery and doctor day,” so we would be gone in the morning. She even said I could wear my new blue shirt! I can’t wait.” “Jonathan’s Journal”
Back to exasperating our preschoolers—or should I say, not exasperating them? One of the most important Preventive Parenting tips that we give is that of warning our children of upcoming events and times. Transitioning from one event to another without a bolt of “Put that away and come here now!”
Two specific examples of this are illustrated in today’s excerpt: (1) “Mommy gave us a five minute warning—which meant we only had five more minutes of fun before we had to clean up our toys” and (2) “Mommy said tomorrow is grocery and doctor day…”
The first aspect, that of the five minute warning, has saved our family a lot of grief! We always gave our kids at least a five minute warning before asking them to transition from what they were doing to whatever was next. We did this when we had company, and it was nearly time to start cleaning up for the guests to leave. We did this when they were playing something, and we needed for them to get ready for something else. We did this when they were busy and it was nearing bedtime. And on and on. Our kids knew that we would never demand that they stop what they were doing right then—but they also knew that when we gave the warning, they needed to start preparing themselves mentally for the switch.
The second aspect, that of telling Jonathan what was about to take place the next day, is equally important. We always told our kids each day what the next day would hold. (Now that all of our kids are older, we always go over the calendar for the week, so that everybody knows what we all have going on.) In today’s passage, Jonathan could look forward to wearing that blue shirt he had been wanting to wear! But in addition to this, it helps set the stage for the next morning. They know when they rise that we have a schedule to keep that involves outside influences—and we can’t keep those people waiting.
Giving expectations to our children. A definite plus in raising preschoolers. A form of deference and character in our own lives as we seek to treat our littles “as we would want to be treated.”
by Donna | Jun 6, 2010
“During dinner Joshua and Kayla told some jokes from their joke books, and Mommy and Daddy talked about all of the yard work we have to do on Saturday. I don’t know why adults like to work so much! After dinner Daddy read to us from the Bible and we sang. I chose “Father Abraham,” which is my favorite song ‘coz I like the motions. We cleaned the kitchen quick so Daddy, Joshua, Josiah, and I could play army men.”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
Again, we see Jonathan included in the family discussion and activities. Little kids just don’t want to be left out!
Additionally, our family had many, many traditions, as written about above–singing, cleaning the kitchen, and playing together in the evenings. (This excerpt took place over ten years ago, and guess what we did last night, these many years later? Cleaned up the meal, went outside and played Frisbee, came back in and played table games, and then had “spiritual discussions.” Traditions are things that never really change, you know?)
Traditions give our children something to hold onto—something that makes us our family, unlike everybody else’s. They are those things that we hear our children say, “We always…” Why? Because they love to say those words. They love to know that “we always” do this or that—that those are constances in their lives.
Another important point about today’s passage is that of the preschooler choosing a song. I have gone over and over how dangerous it is to children’s contentment and obedience to give them choices for which they are not ready too early—and how we are given to our children to make those choices for them until they are ready to do so. Likewise, however, I have stressed the importance of giving our children choices in things that are in their control. As long as our preschoolers obeyed, they got to choose books, songs, movies, games, etc. that we did all together. Jonathan always picked the same song—and that’s okay, too, because “he always…”
Lastly, I can’t stress enough the importance of (1) having normal times—just times to hang out, talk, play and be together; and (2) playing with our children. Ray played with the older kids nearly every night when they were little (while he worked at least sixty hours a week—it was a priority)—and he continues to play with our kids today, including our young adults! We wanted our kids to want to be home. We wanted our kids to choose family over others. One way that we could help those things happen was to play with them.
by Donna | Jun 5, 2010
“Daddy called and said that he is not going to be home for another half an hour, so my brother helped me set up army men. We worked and worked, making the forts and setting up all the cannons and everything. We got done setting up just in time to eat dinner. Mommy said we could leave it out for later.”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
One thing I loved about the routines that I had with my little ones is that they were never bored. They never complained that they had nothing to do. Or said they were bored, etc. Ever…I really cannot remember any of my kids ever being bored, ever—no matter what the age. For example, in today and yesterday’s excerpts, Jonathan had run out of time and didn’t even get to his army men yet. (Of course, above, since Dad was coming home late, he got to them.) His day was coming to an end, but he hadn’t done everything his little heart wanted to that day!
One problem we did always have was setting things up to play with and leaving them out. This was not conducive to a large family with little kids. When we had a bigger house, we could let them set things up in a room and shut the door. In our small house, we do not have that option. If you have that option, I recommend letting your kids do that.
We always encouraged our older kids to play a big role in the lives of the littles. Some day I will post Jonathan’s salvation testimony he wrote in seventh grade—and how his big brother read Scriptures to him at night and ultimately led him to the Lord. It is priceless. In the passage today, Joshua was helping Jonathan set up his army men. Playing with Jonathan, despite the ten year age difference, was one way that Joshua built an enduring relationship with Jonathan that is still strong today at their ages (twenty-seven and seventeen—at ten o’clock on a Friday night here, Jonathan is in town playing basketball with Joshua and some other guys—still playing, just different games now!).
Lastly, I want to point out the importance of not exasperating our children. The Bible says that fathers, specifically, should not provoke their children to wrath. One way that we provoke or exasperate our children is by rushing them all the time. In the excerpt above, Jonathan was happy because he was permitted to leave his army men set up for Dad to see and to play with later. To have him take it all down immediately, when he and Joshua had just set it up, would have definitely exasperated him.
by Donna | Jun 4, 2010
“When Josiah finally woke up, Mommy, Josiah, and I played puzzles on the floor. We did our huge ABC floor puzzle. It’s really neat. We left it out for Daddy to see.
The next thing I knew it was time for evening chores. I didn’t even get to play army men yet! Josiah and I had to unload the dishwasher and set the table. Kayla and Cami are making bbq chicken tonight. Yum!”
“Jonathan’s Journal”
There are a few tips we can glean from today’s excerpt. First of all, as I mentioned earlier, if you are not going to allow your preschooler to watch television and play electronics all day, the day will oftentimes go slowly for your little one. That is one reason I liked to break my preschoolers’ day up with a routine. Secondly, we can counteract that potential boredom by doing fun and educational things with our little one, such as the floor puzzle that that little guys and I did in today’s passage. Many of the activities introduced in the room time blog post are good activities to do with the toddler and preschooler. (See earlier posts for activities and book ideas—links are given below.)
All throughout this blog, I have mentioned including the preschooler in your day (and the day of your other children if you homeschool). Our third chore session was about to begin in the excerpt above. Again, if you make chores a daily part of your little one’s day, there will not be a daily fight. Our kids knew when Chore I, Chore II, and Chore III were going to take place. And our little ones, especially, had the exact same daily chores, so they were never surprised by them. (See the blog about age appropriate chores for this age group too—links below.)
Your days with preschoolers and toddlers can be filled with joy, fun, learning, growing, Bible teaching, character training, and love. I pray that this will be the case for all of our Positive Parenting 3*6*5 readers.
Links to older posts referred to in this post:
Devotional read alouds for preschoolers Part I: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-134-devotionals-morning-or-anytime.html
Devotional read alouds for preschoolers Part II: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/05/day-135-devotionals-read-aloud-books.html
Age appropriate chores Pre K/K: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-116-age-appropriate-chores-pre-kk.html
Age appropriate chores for toddlers and preschoolers: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-115-age-appropriate-chores-for.html
Links and ideas for activities for preschoolers: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-one-hundred-one-links-and-ideas-for.html
Links and ideas for activities for toddlers: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-one-hundred-links-and-ideas-for.html
Involving preschoolers with older kids: https://positiveparenting3-6-5.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-ninety-six-involving-preschoolers.html
