by Donna | Dec 1, 2012
One Christmas story that we enjoy every year in various forms—an Adventures in Oddysey radio drama “spin-off” of it; short story in our compilation books; audio of it; etc.—is the O’Henry story, “Gift of the Magi.” It is such a poignant short story of sacrificially giving, something that many of us know very little about in today’s society.
I thought I would probably find it online since it is beyond the “copyright” years and is available in so many books. And I was right! So I wanted to share it with our readers, in the hopes that you will have a short read aloud session with your family—with a lively discussion following! “God bless us, everyone!” (Oh, wrong story…) smile…
https://www.online-literature.com/o_henry/1014/
P.S. For you homeschoolers out there, this story makes a wonderful “piggyback story” to piggyback off from and write a similar tale. We are adding it to our Creative Writing series! Fun stuff!
by Donna | Aug 27, 2012
Tip #11: Develop Consistent After School Routines
“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn…” Carl Rogers
I know, I know…this blog is filled with things that you, the parent, have to do. Believe me, I know it feels overwhelming and even unfair, at times, to have such a huge responsibility as raising sons and daughters. So much to think about in raising children for the Lord. We have to be good examples of what we want our kids to become; we have to be in charge of their eating and healthy habits; we have to discipline them so that they grow up with self-control; we have to oversee their education and spiritual development; we have to teach them God’s Word; and on and on.
Today I would like to continue this “back to school series” for those who attend school with a post I wrote a couple of years ago about developing effective after school routines. As I said earlier in this series, I have homeschooled for nearly thirty years, so I don’t have a lot of “going to school” experience, but when I see someone doing something that seems to work, I love to pass that along!
A couple of years ago we had an editor working for us who had three children (elementary) in school. One day I stopped by after school to drop off a document and found what I would consider to be one of the most ideal after-school practices (as far as helping her children with school is concerned).
This gal was standing at the kitchen bar with backpacks open in front of her. All three children were seated at the table eating snacks that she had laid out for them when they got off the bus. Mom was opening each backpack, checking to see what each child brought home, looking through homework folders, etc. and dialoguing with the kids about upcoming assignments, what their day was like, etc.
Contrast this with kids coming home, dropping backpacks on the floor of the back porch, grabbing a Twinkie, and going in to the tv or game system.
Yes, kids did just work hard all day at school. Yes, they do need breaks. However, taking part in an after-school routine with Mom or Dad, such as the one described above, does a number of things:
1. The parent, not the child, is determining snacks. I am sure kids are starving when they get home from school. And we all know that when we are hungry, we often reach for convenience, not health. Mom can have healthier snacks ready than what the child might choose.
2. Mom is checking homework right away—not hoping that the child remembers later. No surprises at ten o’clock!
3. There is uninterrupted (by electronics, anyway) dialogue about the kids’ day.
4. In the long run, kids will actually have more free time in the evenings if things are at least checked when student first gets home. They might not have it when they first walk in the door, but there will be a plan for the evening’s activities and schedule—and play time/electronics time may be earned by completing assignments, etc.
5. Lets Mom and Dad know how much they will be needed that evening. No mom or dad likes to be told at ten p.m. that the child needs poster board for tomorrow!
6. Mom can find things lurking/hiding in the backpack—field trip permission slips, note from the teacher, etc.
Now obviously, this is just one scenario that would work. And, once again, the success of this depends on each family’s priorities. If a family prioritizes after school activities or sports, then this meeting might not take place until later in the evening. Each family has to make those choices.
Homeschoolers can benefit from these ideas, as well. My children do much better with their daily chore and school charts when I check them every afternoon before they get “off” for the day.
Homeschoolers and school-away kids alike benefit from accountability and structure. It is our job as parents to provide both of these.
by Donna | Aug 18, 2012
Tip X: Develop Efficient Morning Routines for Your Kids*
“Our children are not going to be just ‘our children’—they are going to be other people’s husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren.”
Mary Steichen Calderone
I think of the quote above often when I am working with my eight to eighteen year olds on “life skills.” All of the character, skills, routines, relationship abilities, work ethic, and education that they develop now will follow them all throughout their lives—and will have a profound influence on the kinds of spouses, parents, workers, citizens, and Christians that they will be as adults. Every life skill that we teach our children—and better yet, model for them—has the potential to help them be successful in many areas of life—even the morning routine.
If you find yourself chasing your preteen around with a toothbrush and hair brush or following your teen around, helping him find his shoes and stuffing things in his backpack every morning, I am here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way! Again, a huge part of successful parenting is being a problem solver. We can continue chasing every morning, or we can implement routines and schedules that help us “prevent” that morning chaos.
Here are some tips for developing morning routines with older children (beyond preschool):
1. If your family has been of the mindset that chasing, stuffing bags and backpacks, cajoling, etc. are part of Mom’s job description, you will want to change that way of thinking quickly! Allowing our children to be irresponsible because we feel guilty if we do not do everything for them is not going to help us parent our children to become independent.
2. Partner with your older child to decide what he needs to do each morning. Let him suggest a doable list with your input.
3. Make a chart or list on the computer—or have your older child do that, so he can monitor his own progress on accomplishing his morning goals.
4. If mornings are extremely hectic now—with older kids on the computer, rising late, etc. and part of the family waiting in the car beeping the horn, etc., you will want to be firmer about establishing the morning routine and what order things are done, etc. We have done this for so many years that our boys, for the most part, know that this is what you do in the morning. When these items are done, I can do something else I want to do, start my school, etc.
5. If your children go to school, I recommend just putting in the morning routine those chores that pertain to that child, such as making his bed, straightening his room, putting his pajamas away, cleaning up messes he made, etc. Save other family chores for after school or before bed. (More on chore charts, appropriate ages for various chores, etc. in upcoming posts!)
6. If your older kids are poor prioritizers, you will want to use this opportunity to help them learn the art of prioritizing. If they consistently make bad choices when it comes to getting things done, you might have to “bring in the boundaries” some and give them step-by-step instructions on what to do for now. Once they gain responsibility and diligence, you can broaden that and give them more leeway. For example, if they get on the computer, text friends, etc. instead of getting their routine done, you might have to institute a “no electronics” rule until they show themselves more faithful. Remember, this entire process is a teaching opportunity—and some of our older kids need more lessons than others!
*reprint from 2010
by Donna | Aug 18, 2012
Twelve Tips for Homeschoolers: Learn to Teach Like Jesus
Many years ago we were introduced to the concept of teaching like Jesus taught. We have since delved into that further, realizing that Jesus was not only a model of how to teach concepts to our children, but he was also the epitome of relationship building with people. This has helped us in our parenting and discipling of our children in general (not just in “teaching” or homeschooling).
One of the things that has stuck with us the most is the concept of time in Jesus’ teaching. Jesus taught all the time! He taught Nicodemus late at night; he taught during meals via the last supper and other “potluck” style opportunities. This reinforced the concept in Deuteronomy 6:7 of teaching our children all the time—as we do everything—as we live. Along the lines of different time frames, we also noted that Jesus taught varying lengths of time. Sometimes he taught short and straight to the point (the woman at the well). Other times he had lengthy teaching sessions, such as the Sermon on the Mount. Sometimes he taught so long he went right on through meal times! We, too, need to be aware of our audience—and their time limitations, our scheduling needs, etc.
Jesus also used various types of teaching. This showed us that some kids need a certain type of instruction while others need something else. In Matthew 18:12, Jesus asked the question, “What do you think?” This has become a common mantra for our parenting/teaching. We have wanted to allow the kids to tell us what they already know or what they think—and then we could build on that. Asking open ended questions is a super method for academic training—and for heart training.
Of course, Jesus also taught one-on-one (again, Nicodemus and the woman at the well); small group (twelve disciples); and large group (five thousand). There have been many things in our homeschool that were perfectly suited to one-on-one instruction. Other things were great for small group—and we used unit studies and other “small group” instruction situations with our kids together. Some things were truly best suited to a larger group, such as speech and debate, drama, and choir.
Jesus used storytelling extensively. He used God’s word to tell stories. And he used nature to tell stories—pearls, fish, trees, water were all object lessons. We have taken his concept of using nature to heart. We have used animals via Answers in Genesis materials, zoo trips, etc. We have used Character Sketches books for twenty-nine years to teach character and Bible—half of the book is using nature to teach character! Sometimes we just look at the snow, clouds, stars, ocean—and an instant lesson in spiritual truth presents itself!
Jesus taught in unusual places—which we have found extremely effective and fun—for the kids and parents! Jesus taught in a boat, by a well, on a hillside, in a garden, on the water, under the stars. Kids love surprises and unusual things. And we have enjoyed providing surprises and unusual places to learn—zoos, parks, sleeping at the top of the jungle gym at Science Central, camping out on the “bunks” at the fort, and more have provided us with unusual and enjoyable learning opportunities.
Lastly, Jesus had characteristics of a superior teacher—that we homeschoolers should model after. He knew his audience—and he taught accordingly. He was teachable, even as a teacher: “I only do what I see my Father do.” He had his priorities in order: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33). And he didn’t “just teach”—he discipled: “Come ye after me” (Mark 1:17). Wow, “to be like Jesus”—to teach like Jesus! Now that would make me a successful homeschooler!
by Donna | Aug 16, 2012
Twelve Back to School Tips for Those Attending School!
Tip VII: Pray! (Back to School Prayer)
We should always pray for our kids—for our family. However, when we are going to be apart from each other, we should pray even more.
I love this “back to school prayer” at the link below!
by Donna | Jul 31, 2012
Twelve Tips for Homeschoolers–Tip II of XII: Solve Discipline Problems Ahead of Time
This fall marks the beginning of our twenty-ninth year of homeschooling! Twenty-nine years ago, with an almost-one-year-old in tow, my husband and I began our homeschooling journey by homeschooling my then-junior-high little sister. At that same time, we began helping those who wanted to homeschool in Ohio but needed a “covering” to report to according to state law during the early eighties. I did not know much about homeschooling in general and teaching specifically at the age of twenty-one years old (despite an elementary education degree followed by master’s work in reading education), but I dug in as best I could. Little did we know that this adventure would become a way of life for us—a parenting and educational method that has brought us countless joys, challenges, and fulfillment.
Here we are nearly three decades later—still homeschooling and still helping others in their homeschool endeavors. Today I bring you tips that we have discovered on our journey—tips to make this “the best school year ever”!
2. Solve Discipline Problems Ahead of Time
If you have heard us speak about parenting young children, you have probably heard us say that we did not believe in starting “school” with a child until he was obedient most of the time. Thus, the reason for many of our children not starting formal education until age eight! Seriously though, the time to deal with discipline issues is before you begin school, if at all possible.
Our theory behind “don’t start school until the child learns to obey” is a valid one: If a child will not sit down at the table for dinner, brush his teeth when told, or clean his room, why do we think he will sit down and do his math, finish his school independent list, or do his science?
This is not to say that you will not have discipline problems as you homeschool. One of Ray’s favorite lines about homeschooling and character problems is that “We have the opportunity to see all of our kids’ faults and discipline problems—and the opportunity to correct them.” Our goal before beginning formal instruction for each new pupil was that the child was “characterized by obedience.” That is, he was known for obedience more often than not.
Obviously, we cannot just not do school this year if our kids are undisciplined. However, we would have a much better year if we really zeroed in on discipline issues and handled them as opposed to going through the motions of school while allowing these problems to continue. There are many excellent books about parenting to help us. There are seminars and video courses. We have the tools available to us to learn to parent biblically and train our children in obedience and character. (See the sidebar for some resources that we offer to help you in the area of Christian parenting as well as a couple other recommendatons.)
Christian Parenting Help
Reb Bradley books and articles
Kevin Leman books—we began with Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours
Our parenting/homeschooling book: The Well-Trained Heart (read first chapter at www.tfths.com)
Our parenting seminar: Character Training From the Heart (call to host one in your church or area—260-597-7415)
Parenting seminar: Parenting Is Heart Work
