The first day was a bust. The first week was less glamorous, productive, and family-unifying than you envisioned it. So what is the natural reaction to that?
The natural reaction is to doubt. Doubt that God called you to this. Doubt that you can do it—regardless of the calling. Doubt that you are the best teacher for your children. Wowsie, even doubt that you are a good parent at all!
But how does God want us to react to less than perfect beginnings? Knowing the character of God—merciful, wisdom, loving, kind, instructive—we can know that there are probably two reactions that God would have us ponder:
1) “Not doubt in the darkness what God told us in the light.”
2) Fix problems and move on!
First of all, God didn’t lead you to homeschool just to leave you hanging. Just to leave you unequipped. Just to leave you feeling defeated.
He called you to this because this is the best thing for your family. Right now. With you as the homeschooling parent. With your kids at home with you. Period.
It is similar to marriage. When we have bad days, weeks, or even months, we don’t automatically say that we are not called to be married to this person. We don’t automatically doubt that we can do this.
We look at it for what it is: a stumbling block. Areas to work on. But we don’t throw in the towel. And we don’t even usually doubt that we are supposed to stay married.
A bad day or a bad week does not mean that you are a failure. It does not mean that you cannot do this. When the first day or week of school is a disappointment, it is not a sign of failure. It is a sign that we need God’s strength and wisdom more than ever to do this daunting lifestyle known as homeschooling.
Second of all, we need to look at some of the causes of the bad day. Sometimes it is just a “series of unfortunate events” that we have no control over. However, in order to not repeat this bad day or bad week too many times, if there are things that can be fixed, we need to fix them.
Here are some things that I have learned in thirty-one years of homeschooling that can cause a bad start:
1) Trying to do it all immediately. Start slowly. Don’t try to do everything the first week. It is easier to go from full free-time summer to fall school in bits and pieces. Get that first hour down the way you like it. Then move on. Only have morning school. Only have afternoon school. Do whatever it takes to get going on the right foot.
2) Trying to keep doing too many other things. When we talk with new homeschoolers, we ask them what they are dropping from their life from the previous year in order to homeschool. They often look at us like that is crazy. What needs to be dropped? Then we tell them the hours of instruction. The long days with kids who were previously at school and now with you 24/7. Then we ask them if they had a few hours a day last year to watch soap operas and eat bon bons. And they seldom do.
The same is true of starting the school year. Many moms go into the fall school year still canning green beans and freezing corn. Still doing all of the same church and volunteer activities. Still trying to squeeze in that exercise hour that seemed so easy to get to in the summer.
Time is like money. Once it is used, it is used. You can’t snap your finger and make more of it appear. Don’t “double spend” your time or you will be deep into “time debt,” and that can only lead to frustration.
3) Not delegating enough to the kids. I know, we all want to be super mom. And other housewives whose kids are in school do their own work. (Did I really just say “their own work”? We all live in the house, so housework is everybody’s—unless that is your ONLY job, full time!)
However, we can’t do it all. It is not possible. And no matter how good it looks on paper, it will not flesh out in real life if we overbook ourselves with school and house. Check out my podcast episodes about efficiency and about children and chores. Don’t try to do it all. Plus, working at home is a big part of homeschooling—learning responsibility, habits, and skills that he or she would miss if in school all day.
4) Not building in enough flex time. Many years ago when I was frustrated by the fact that I couldn’t seem to get to everything I had planned every day for each child, my husband helped me go through my schedule and insert fifteen to thirty minute flex times throughout my day.
This was especially helpful since we moms can often be unrealistic about how long things will take, how few interruptions we will likely have, etc. Give yourself (and your kids!) some flex time!
5) Not being prepared. Maybe those chore charts just haven’t gotten made yet. Or maybe those independent lists are still on the computer waiting to be printed. Or maybe you are just opening some of the boxes of books. In any of these cases, maybe you need to call an Educational Video-on-Neftlix school day or two while you get things together. You can still count it towards your days while you are getting things ready to run a little more smoothly.
Whatever your reason, don’t doubt your ability. Don’t doubt God’s leading. You will be so glad some day that you persevered. So glad that you made this lifestyle choice. And you will someday get to the thirty-two year mark, and breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that you spent your life on something as valuable as homeschooling your children.
