52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Talk While You Work

When you need to get things done might seem like a strange time to recommend as a talk time, but hear me out on this one.

 

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Talk While You Work

Not long ago, my twenty-one year old son stopped by as I was cleaning vegetables. He said, “Oh, you’re cleaning veggies. Remember when we used to bring a big tub of fruits and vegetables into the living room and we three boys would gather around them and peel, slice, dice, stem, and “julienne” pounds of produce while you read out loud to us for hours.”

“I’ll never forget,” I replied, getting a little misty-eyed.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: A Safe Place to Talk


“I just don’t feel like I can tell you anything.”

“You judge everything I say.”

“I know you won’t want to listen to this.”

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: A Safe Place to Talk

These are all phrases that our preteens, teens, and young adults might say to us—IF we do not open our hearts to them early and often, creating a safe place for them to talk to us.

A pivotal, crucial time to talk to our kids is when they need a safe place to talk.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Building Relationships

In my 52 Times to Talk, I have recently been discussing the Recipe for Rebellion—and how you can talk to your kids to avoid those “ingredients” that lead to our children rebelling.

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Building Relationships

Rules Without Relationship is the final ingredient—and probably the most critical of all of the ingredients to avoid. (Of course, without relationship, we as parents have no desire or motivation to try to explain rules, listen to their appeals, or remain consistent in our parenting.) Relationship must be in place in order to keep our children from rebelling against us.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You

 Quiet Questioning: Let Your Kids Question You Without Being Disrespectful

 

“Mom, that’s not fair!”

“Why can’t I…..”

“It’s her turn!”

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You

One of the ways that our children begin the disrespect spiral is when we let them “talk back” to us. At first, this can be simply questioning us with a slightly raised voice. But before we know it, it can become full-fledged disrespect. And the more we allow it, the more it happens.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Reasons

Why?

Why not?

Can we change that to…..

These questions are often asked of us parents when we fail to give children the reason for our decisions and instruction.

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids Avoiding Rules Without Reasons

While there it is true that our children should learn to obey us and trust that we have their best in mind (but again, that comes through lots of talking and letting them see that we have their best interest in mind!), we have determined four key ingredients that cause teens to rebel—Reishes’ Recipe for Rebellion.

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