“A penny for your thoughts; a nickel for a hug; and a dime if you tell me that you love me.”
We have talked at length on this blog about communicating with our kids. And how communication is a strong form of “teaching when…”
The ditty above is a little chant that we used to say to our kids to remind them that we want to talk to them, that they are valuable to us, that we love them “ten million times infinity and beyond.” From this saying, a valuable “object lesson” developed and tied my son’s and my heartstrings in a special way nearly twenty years ago.
1. How they see your relationship
2. The words you use
a. About relationships
b. About males, females, and sexuality
3. Expectation Explanations
In this Wondering Wednesday podcast episode, Donna Reish (author of sixty curriculum books, Raising Kids With Character parenting seminar, and the Book-Movie-Book line up of readers) answers a reader’s question about helping our children navigate relationships with the opposite sex. Specifically, Donna describes the importance of laying a foundation for your family’s beliefs and approach to relationships at various ages early on; of spending quality (and quantity!) time with your children to find out what is going on in their hearts; of protecting your children from groups in which they will find it too difficult to stand alone; of encouraging outstanding friendships; having a game plan that you refer to often; and much more!
Three years ago we were asked to tell our love language stories on a promo/surprise video that Gary Chapman’s publisher was going to put together for him as a surprise for the twentieth year celebration of his initial Five Love Languages book. We were excited to do it as his books, including the application of his teaching on love languages, made such a huge impact on our parenting over the past twenty years.
To fully appreciate this short video snippet (our portion of the promo video), you have to hear the darling story of when we first discovered that the five love languages were alive and well in the Reish home.
We understand that you were nervous, afraid of the unknown and possible hurt…for Mom and Dad were afraid one day too.
We understand that once the answer was yes, you were giddy and seeing stars…for Mom and Dad are often giddy and seeing stars too.
We understand that as you got to know each other, you needed to talk for hours and hours…for Mom and Dad need to talk for hours and hours too.
We understand that as your love has deepened, the days between your time together have felt like forever…for when Mom and Dad have time apart, it feels like forever too.
We understand that you can hardly wait for the next time you get to spend time together…for Mom and Dad can hardly wait for the next time we get to spend time together too.
We understand that you need to hear each other’s voices, to have the restlessness in your souls calmed…for Mom and Dad calm each other’s restless souls too.
We understand that you just want to laugh, to sing, to play–and you need to do these things together…for Mom and Dad need to laugh and sing and play together too.
We understand that you await words of affirmation and love from each other every day…for Mom and Dad await those words from each other every day too.
We understand that you want to dream together of the future–think, talk, scheme, and hope…for Mom and Dad dream together too.
We understand that you think nobody else in the world feels like you do–that nobody else could possibly hold the love and feelings that you are holding…for Mom and Dad think that we are the only ones too.
We understand that you need more minutes, more hours, more days, more weeks to be together…for Mom and Dad need more time too.
We understand that you long for the day when you will not be apart, the day that your lives are joined as one and you no longer have separate lives….for Mom and Dad longed for that day for us too.
We understand that you wake up in the morning thinking of your love–and that is the last thought you have before you sleep…for Mom and Dad think of each other morning and night too.
We understand all of these things…we haven’t forgotten. We understand….we understand that you are in love….for Mom and Dad are in love too.