Tag Archives: children

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You

 Quiet Questioning: Let Your Kids Question You Without Being Disrespectful

 

“Mom, that’s not fair!”

“Why can’t I…..”

“It’s her turn!”

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Letting Your Kids Question You

One of the ways that our children begin the disrespect spiral is when we let them “talk back” to us. At first, this can be simply questioning us with a slightly raised voice. But before we know it, it can become full-fledged disrespect. And the more we allow it, the more it happens.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Avoiding Rules Without Reasons

Why?

Why not?

Can we change that to…..

These questions are often asked of us parents when we fail to give children the reason for our decisions and instruction.

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids Avoiding Rules Without Reasons

While there it is true that our children should learn to obey us and trust that we have their best in mind (but again, that comes through lots of talking and letting them see that we have their best interest in mind!), we have determined four key ingredients that cause teens to rebel—Reishes’ Recipe for Rebellion.

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52 Weeks of Talking To Our Kids: Calendar Meetings

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids Calendar Meetings

The scene was the same for our three girls and Mom and Dad—time to gather in the living room with calendars in hand, ready to go over the upcoming weeks and months to be sure we have everything down on the schedule—and to be sure that we have plenty of time set aside for each other and our family. What wasn’t the same was the addition of our future son-in-law—a sweet, amazing young man who has no need for meetings, sitting for long periods of time listening to three teenage/young adult girls and their parents gab. His response to our “calendar meeting” was hilarious as he put a pillow over his head and kept coming up periodically to ask if it was almost over!

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Daddy Talks

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids--Daddy Talks

When our “little boys” were tweens, we wanted them to learn about/hear about sensitive things from their daddy—not from Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, movies, television, or peers! It was about that time that we instituted “daddy talks”—times in which the boys (one at a time or in pairs since they were close in age) would sit down and talk with Ray about these types of things.

We called these times “daddy talks”—and they knew that if they ever had questions or heard things, etc., they could call a “daddy talk” and Ray would be available. (Have I mentioned here or in our blog how crucial our availability for our kids really is??)

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: “My Day”

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: "My Day"

When I had several young children, I assigned each child “a day” each week. I first got this idea when I was in teacher’s college, and it was suggested that we teachers pick a different student each day to focus on. It was recommended that we write that child’s name on the calendar for that day (to keep record of who got which day and to ensure that each child got a day) and that we try to praise, help, make more contact with, etc. that particular student on that day. This approach would keep the “non-sqeaky wheels” from getting overlooked.

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Terrific Tuesday or Wonderful Wednesday

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Terrific Tuesday or Wonderful Wednesday

With the addition of another child every other year or so, we knew it was important to spend time with the older children. (We were taught by our early mentors to put as much time and energy into our first two kids as we possibly could, knowing that the “trickle down effect” of teaching would come into play.)

 

Note: This is another reason we have felt so strongly about not letting an eight month old, eighteen month old, or twenty-eight month old determine the entire family’s schedule [i.e. have a “toddler run home”]—it never felt right to let a toddler’s “wants” override a teen’s needs. Anyway, because of the advice we received to invest significantly in our older kids for the “trickle down effect” (which majorly works, I might add), we always looked for ways to spend more time with Joshua (now 29) and Kayla (now 26). One of the ways I did this was to implement “Terrific Tuesday” or “Wonderful Wednesday.”

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Kitchen Talks

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: Kitchen Talks

Not long ago my twenty-one year old son was helping me clean and cut fruits and veggies. This is a rare sight nowadays. The boys are either in college all the time or working very full time jobs (well, actually, they both do both at the same time!). I miss those times of cooking and cleaning in the kitchen with my kids.

However, I didn’t expect the boys to miss it! Josiah, the twenty-one year old pediatric nurse I just referred to, said, “You know what I miss? I miss those times that we used to gather around the table with tons of potatoes, carrots, apples, and other fruits and vegetables and peel, cut, clean, and prep them while you read aloud to us for hours!”

So do I, baby, so do I!

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52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: The Non-Squeaky Wheel Child

52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: The Non-Squeaky Wheel Child

Our children are all different—even among each other. They have different strengths, talents, and skills—and they have different weaknesses.

And they have certain times and ages in which they are not very high need. And, of course, certain times and ages in which they are extremely high need.

Those are all expected. We wouldn’t want them to be all the same. And we wouldn’t want them to all be high need at the same time either!

What about that child who is not really high need very often? What about that one who cooperates most of the time (which means there aren’t a lot of one-on-one “training sessions”)?

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Podcast: Faith and Character Building for Littles

Podcast: Faith and Character Building for Littles

Welcome to another Wondering Wednesday podcast episode! In this audio presentation, Donna Reish (of Character Ink Press and Raising Kids With Character) answers questions about faith and character training for young children. Donna begins with the Five W’s and One H of Character Training, reminding parents that we must first have it in our hearts before we can give it to our children. She then delves into laying some foundations with toddlers. Finally, she talks about the four places and times that Deuteronomy tells us to teach our kids God’s Word and ways: when you rise up; when you sit in your house; when you walk by the way; and when you lie down. She gives examples and activities for each time period—focusing on getting to our children’s hearts with unconditional love, intentionality, prioritizing, and selflessness.

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