52 Weeks of Talking to Our Kids: The Non-Squeaky Wheel Child

Our children are all different—even among each other. They have different strengths, talents, and skills—and they have different weaknesses.

And they have certain times and ages in which they are not very high need. And, of course, certain times and ages in which they are extremely high need.

Those are all expected. We wouldn’t want them to be all the same. And we wouldn’t want them to all be high need at the same time either!

What about that child who is not really high need very often? What about that one who cooperates most of the time (which means there aren’t a lot of one-on-one “training sessions”)?

What about the child who learns most things easily and independently?

What about the child who is quiet and doesn’t outwardly show a lot of needs?

This child is easily overlooked in a family of many kids. Not on purpose, of course. But it does happen.

We can be focusing so much on meeting one (or more) child’s needs that the “non-squeaky wheel” child doesn’t get greased.


What do you do about this situation? Talk, of course!

You can be sure that this happens in any of the following ways—assign (mentally, in your planner, or officially as in a “child of the day”) each child a day that you will pray for that child more, talk more, cuddle more, and invest in more; or draw a little circle in the corner of your planner every other day or so and color it in when you gave that child extra attention or set aside a certain time (write it on your calendar!) a couple or few times a week that you will connect with that child.

Regardless of how you keep track (and be sure the “oiling” is done), be aware that it might not be easy. First of all, it is hard to fit anything else that isn’t literally crying out to you into your schedule. Secondly, if this is a quiet child, they might be harder to get talking than the one you are always “training.” 🙂

Be sure to ask lots of questions (and not just those with yes or no answers). Be sure you discuss what interests them. Be sure that it doesn’t seem obvious that you are having a meeting!

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